My life lesson...

Hello Army Wives!

It’s me again….:-)

Army wives understand the concept of “Chosen family” so deeply. With this exciting life of living all over this amazing globe...many of us and/or our close friends have had to leave our dearest family members back home…to start over a million times with our soldiers. My understanding of the term “Chosen Family” began back in the 90s!! :-) Before I became an Army Wife…however the lesson I learned still holds true for me today! Below you will find my life lesson...


When I was a student working on my undergrad degree...I had a very kind and wise mentor. Sadly, while she was away from her family…her brother passed away. She told me that because she was away from her family…her support system was special and different. You see her support system was filled with friends that were in no way related to her family.

She knew I was very close to my family and did not place a lot of faith in many friends. She told me about her experience living far enough away from family that she had to form a unique bond with friends. She found comfort in the family she created through her support system of chosen family (friends). She wanted me to understand the importance of forming such bonds for myself. At first I honestly had no interest in doing so…moving forward with her advice would cause me to grow in a very new direction in my life.

Part of growing and developing as a whole person…meant I would have to take a chance. Sooooooo…I began the new process of trusting my new friends more and more. Now over the years we have become family…yes…a very special family…we chose to love and care for one another without selfish intentions. Through many of our most challenging hours we have stood strong for one another. Sharing with each other things we could never share with anyone else!

Today, I am more than thankful that I listened to my college mentor. I wish she knew today just how much her advice has impacted my life. These days my chosen families still stands strong!!! God has a million ways to bless us…chosen family happens to be one of the most beautiful gifts He created! If you do not have one…I hope you will form one…kind and loving people are all around you. Do not be afraid to reach out to them!!!


Wishing you every kindness~
Tara JW

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FEBRUARY POST WITH THE MOST : Ft. Riley, KS

FEBRUARY POST WITH THE MOST : Ft. Riley, KS
http://www.rileymwr.com/



Bataan Death March Qualifier
2/20/09 @ 730 am.
SOLDIERS only!!!!!!
Visit the Fort Riley FMWR site to see official rules and to register

Send a Sing-A-Gram
February 9-11 from 9am-6pm
The cost is $20 which includes delivery of balloons, candy, and song!
Embarrass a friend or show your sweetie how much you love them!
Delivery to Manhattan, Junction City, and Fort Riley
Call: BOSS at 785-239-8147 to sign up or ask questions

Sweet Heart Dinner and Dance
February 13, 2010 6:30 – 10:30 pm
Riley Conference Center
Social hour with hors d’ oeuvres start at 630
5 course dinner served at 730
DJ and cash bar available
Cost is $15.95/person or $30/couple
Call 784-1000
Tickets are available but seating is limited

Sweethearts Bowl
Feb. 14 – 11am til close
The cost I $25/lane and includes 2 hours of glow bowling with shoes, 1 large 1 topping pizza, and a pitcher of soda
All couples coming in will also receive 1 red rose and a small box of chocolates.
For more information call: 785-239-4366

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Back from leave

Well, my love finished up his training before deployment and had 8 days of leave before I had to drop him off again. This trip was absolutely perfect. We slept in, had the pillow talk that was so missed, ate good food, and just enjoyed every moment of our time together. I tried so hard to not think about the upcoming deployment, but every once in a while it would just randomly pop back into my mind. I have always been the more emotional one, I know that, he knows that, everyone knows that. He is such a man's man. He just takes things in stride and doesn't really show much emotion, so I really have to dig to find out whats going through his head. I think what broke my heart was hearing him describe how much he would miss me. I knew he would miss me, of course, but I had no idea just how much. It made me even more sad to know he would be far away from home missing me. I would MUCH rather him just be able to skip the missing part and just be far too busy to even think about it. I can't imagine him missing me as much as I miss him. It physically hurts at times. I just want this year to go by very fast for us both so we can continue the fun we had together on leave. I'm already counting down the days.

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PCSing Questions

We have arrived at Fort Carson! We've actually been here for a few weeks and have finally found a house to live in. Boxes are unpacked and toys are scattered around the house. Now it's time to figure out our way around this BIG city, make new friends and enjoy our surroundings!!

For some of you more seasoned PCS'ers out there, I have a few questions for you!
1. When you have packers/movers/unpackers at your house, do you feed them? Talk to them? We were blessed with great packers, movers AND unpackers and got to hear MANY interesting stories from all of them!
2. When you're PCSing, do you eat most of your meals out at restaurants? We did and let me tell you, after about 3 days of eating out I was ready for some of Mommy's home cooking!!
3. What is the first thing you try and discover about your new duty station?
4. What is your family's secret to staying sane while staying in temporary lodging? Thankfully we were only in temporary lodging for a week but it seemed longer than that! P.S. Word to the wise, if you ever have to stay in temporary lodging at Fort Carson, do your family a favor a request a remodeled room. We had no idea such a room existed until AFTER we checked out!
5. Do you have any money saving tips you use when you PCS? Between eating out, staying in hotels, driving to your new duty station, things sure can add up!

I can't wait to hear your answers!

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Army Wife Life February 8, 2010

This edition of Army Wife Life discussion is brought to you in partnership with Lucky Army Wives! (www.LuckyArmyWives.com)

Please leave your answers to the questions below by commenting on this post. Listen for Star and Tara's answers on Show 252: Week of Feb 8, 2010 using our AWTR Player in the right sidebar!

Excerpt blog post: To sustain our military force, the Army has armed all recruiters and applicable personnel (generally the dubious spouse!) with a catchy slogan: "Re-enlist Soldiers, Re-Up Families". True to its word, the Army has been pumping money into the Army Family Covenant Quality of Life efforts for over two years. Many posts have upgraded housing, built new gym and dining facilities, and dramatically improved the barracks. We know, we know! The Army must invest in infrastructure to compensate for its generally out-in-the-middle-of-nowhere geographic locations (give a shout-out for Ft. Irwin)!

We’ve been around a while – although we’re nowhere near as old as some of the housing at Ft. Leavenworth – and we’ve decided we’re qualified to give the more famous (and infamous) posts “star rankings” (somewhat akin to those given to the Army leadership). New spouses - consider this a “heads up” when your soldier begins extolling, say, the three-wheeling opportunities at a certain Ft. Polk for which he’s recently received orders; spouses with a few moves scratched into your dining room table – tell us if you agree or if we’ve totally missed the more compelling features of Ft. Leonard Wood!


Discussion Point 1: Ft. Leonard Wood or Ft. Polk?

Discussion Point 2: I don't care where we live as long as I get a house_______________(on post / off post!)

Discussion Point 3: Forget CONUS assignments - I am trying to get to my spouse’s Hooch in Afghanistan!

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Trying to Wrap My Brain Around It

This past weekend, I ended up in a weird place - mentally. DH has been home from deployment since May 2008 - and everyone came home alive. I thought that only 1 or 2 people had come home with injury - boy was I wrong.


DH had drill (or Battle Assembly as they now call it) this weekend and I went to the FRG meeting. It was just me adn the FRG leader - which was ok. The weather had been awful and it was nice to get to know her too. I like making new friends. While I was there, I got to see DH and a couple of the guys I met while they were going through deployment stuff. It was there that I heard about one of my husband's soldiers.

My husband is a platoon sergeant in charge of about 27 guys. He's kinda like a dad with 27 kids. One of his guys had been cross-leveled and deployed to Afghanistan with another unit. This kid is 24 year old. About 2 weeks ago or so, his convoy was targeted by a suicide bomber. He and the other guys survived the blast, but some civilians didn't. He has 2nd and 3rd degree burns on his arms and legs, two busted ear drums, a TBI, and is completely deaf in his right ear. He's in Bagram seeing doctors and specialists. There was even a news story about this one. To add to all of that - even after the blast these injured soldiers still managed to move their buddies out of harm's way and get the area secured.

Laster that afternoon as DH and I were on our way to pick up DSS, we got to talking about how blessed these soldiers are to be alive and how we were thankful that when they came home from Iraq a couple years ago that everyone came home alive. That then led to me saying - and I'm also thankful that everyone's ok too. DH looked at me and said no...that's not true. I had only known of 1 soldier who left Iraq early and was at Walter Reed. Since then, this guy has disappeared. The VA is calling the reserve center to look for him and no one has seen or heard from him - that's a little scary. Another one of DH's soldiers is living at the VA hospital that is next to the reserve center. Another soldier is on 80% disability and unable to do the work he did before.

I had NO idea. DH never said a word to me until now. Two of these soldiers were hurt on the same night in 2 different blasts. DH looked irritated when talking about this one because he had been held back to be the acting first sergeant. My husband could have very easily been one of these soldiers. I'm sure there are more he hasn't told me about. He doesn't talk about that kind of stuff when he talks to me about Iraq. While I'm glad he's talking to me about it, I'm still trying to process it. I am so glad that everyone is home alive, but at the same time it's another Army wife out there dealing with this. I am blessed that it's not me - but it could have been. What do I do? What do I say? Is there something DH and I can do for these soldiers? I'm just trying to process it all. To add to that - it just put me in a weird place.

We had to stop the conversation because DSS was getting in the truck (he's 14) and I know that DH wants to protect him from this kind of stuff. When DH got the orders, DSS asked why he had to go back. It's already been tough on the kids, so we don't talk about it with them.

DH & DSS were going to see Avatar in 3D on the IMAX, so I went to see Dear John. After, I was thinking....maybe I should have chosen a different show. With the conversation we had just before going to see this.....I sobbed through the whole thing. I had read the book years ago - and cried through that - but I just sobbed. I was watching it and I could identify with some stuff. In the scene where John & Savannah are together (intimately - in the barn) while he's home on a pass before deployment, she's crying after being together - I remember that. I then start thinking about how deployment has changed so much for us. I've always been emotional - but now I'm even worse. Sometimes in church on Sundays, certain hymns - I jsut start to cry - and I can't help it - the tears just come.

I'm just trying to warp my brain around everything. It's put me in a weird place for a couple few days. I LOVE being an Army Wife. I wouldn't trade this for anything else. At the same time, I'm trying to mentally deal with all of this. How?

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Dining Out Decor and such

I've been with my husband for 4 1/2 years and we've only been married since May. He's a Reservist, so getting involved with the FRG has been harder - especially with us being dual military (sometimes my reserve weekend falls on the same weekend as his). I've finally stepped up to get involved. Now I am helping with the dining out, so I need some suggestions for what kind of centerpieces to do for the tables and other decor so that it doesn't look plain. Any ideas or suggestions out there?

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Fonder Heart, Crazier Brain?

Yesterday afternoon I stopped at the Commissary to grab some things and I found myself in the health and beauty aisle. Without thinking, I grabbed my husband's brand of body wash, popped it open and inhaled deeply. The next thing I knew I was clutching the bottle with tears running down my face. I rushed out of the aisle and quickly paid for my purchases.

Later that night I sat down to watch a movie about a woman who had a crazy stalker. I was shaking my head, thinking "how crazy is that guy," watching him dance to a song in a little closet filled with pictures of the woman. At that moment I looked up and Flat Daddy, and felt slightly crazy. I mean, I have two of my soldier's dirty brown t-shirts zipped tightly in a plastic bag, so I can smell him. I was sniffing his body wash in the grocery store crying. I am guilty of leaving the clothes he left on the bathroom floor so I can pretend he is still here and occasionally I slip some of his clothes in the laundry basket so I can fold them. I have not danced with Flat Daddy, but the thought occurred to me. Once, when I was making one of my kids' beds, I hugged his Daddy Doll tight and occasionally I have conversations with the various Daddy Dolls that inhabit our house.

I know I am not a stalker, but I still feel a little crazy sniffing his aftershave and sleeping with his t-shirts (this is a rare treat, heaven forbid I lose the stink from the shirt.) I think deployments are making me crazy! If he was here I would be using barbecue tongs to put his PT clothes in the laundry, but in his absence I am sniffing the armpits of his dirty t-shirts to feel closer to him. I know they say that absence makes the heart grow fonder, I guess you can add that it makes the brain a little crazier.

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Time Out

I need a time out, five minutes to step out of this deployment. I feel like the quarterback in the last 15 seconds of a major game signaling time out, frantically trying to pause the game. I am overwhelmed, exhausted and stressed out, I need to take a knee. My children sense this in me and instead of backing away, giving me some space, they seek reassurance that everything will be okay, needing hugs, wanting attention. I love them and I want to help them, but I am being swallowed up by this deployment, weighted down by stress and sadness. If I could just step away for a couple of minutes, freeze time like the main character in a bad sitcom, I could catch my breath. I need a minute to collect myself, find my cool (I lost my cool about two months ago,) readjust, maybe change the game plan. Instead I feel like the fire hose is on and I can't take a breath. I know I will make it through, but it hurts so much. I need a break from the hurt. Everything reminds me that he isn't here and our children are hurting and sad. My heart is heavy.

Time out please, Ref, over here, time out!

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ARMY WIFE

This was shared with me by a friend (Thanks T!) - and I knew immediately I had to share it here. This piece is a beautiful reminder of who we are, what we do, why we do it and that There's Strong and then There's ARMY WIFE Strong!

ARMY WIFE
Lots of moving...
Moving...
Moving...
Moving far from home...
Moving two cars, three kids and one dog...all riding with HER of course.
Moving sofas to basements because they won't go in THIS house; Moving curtains that won't fit; Moving jobs and certifications and professional development hours.
Moving away from friends;
Moving toward new friends;
Moving her most important luggage: her trunk full of memories.

Often waiting...
Waiting...
Waiting...
Waiting for housing.
Waiting for orders.
Waiting for deployments.
Waiting for phone calls.
Waiting for reunions.
Waiting for the new curtains to arrive.
Waiting for him to come home,
For dinner...AGAIN!



They call her 'Military Dependent', but she knows better:
She is fiercely In-Dependent.

She can balance a check book;
Handle the yard work;
Fix a noisy toilet;
Bury the family pet...

She is intimately familiar with drywall anchors and toggle bolts.
She can file the taxes;
Sell a house;
Buy a car;
Or set up a move...
.....all with ONE Power of Attorney.

She welcomes neighbors that don't welcome her.
She reinvents her career with every PCS; Locates a house in the desert, The Arctic, Or the deep south.
And learns to call them all 'home'.
She MAKES them all home.

Military Wives are somewhat hasty...
They leap into:
Decorating,
Leadership,
Volunteering,
Career alternatives,
Churches,
And friendships.
They don't have 15 years to get to know people.
Their roots are short but flexible.
They plant annuals for themselves and perennials for those who come after them.

Military Wives quickly learn to value each other:
They connect over coffee,
Rely on the spouse network,
Accept offers of friendship and favors.
Record addresses in pencil...

Military Wives have a common bond:
The Military Wife has a husband unlike other husbands; his commitment is unique.
He doesn't have a 'JOB'
He has a 'MISSION' that he can't just decide to quit...
He's on-call for his country 24/7.
But for her, he's the most unreliable guy in town!
His language is foreign
TDY
PCS
OPR
SOS
ACC
BDU
ACU
BAR
CIB
TAD
And so, a Military Wife is a translator for her family and his.
She is the long- distance link to keep them informed; the glue that holds them together.

A Military Wife has her moments:
She wants to wring his neck;
Dye his uniform pink;
Refuse to move to Siberia;
But she pulls herself together.
Give her a few days,
A travel brochure,
A long hot bath,
A pledge to the flag,
A wedding picture,
And she goes.
She packs.
She moves.
She follows.

Why?
What for?
How come?
You may think it is because she has lost her mind.
But actually it is because she has lost her heart.
It was stolen from her by a man,
Who puts duty first,
Who longs to deploy,
Who salutes the flag,
And whose boots in the doorway remind her that as long as he is her Military Husband, She will remain his military wife.
And would have it no other way.

--Author Unknown

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