Make the choice.....

As I type this blog, the show Say Yes to the Dress is on my TV. Why is that blogworthy? Because this isn't Kristen or Star or Nikki or Paula or any one of our guest bloggers that could get away with it being OK to have this show on the TV. No, this is Wayne. One thing that is similiar in my home as it is in many other military spouse homes is when my soldier returned I lost control of the remote.

Before my wife enlisted I would huff and puff about these shows she watches. Well all her shows except Project Runway which I do find rather entertaining. Prior to her deployment there were so many little things that bugged me. But one thing deployment taught me was to not sweat the small stuff.

My wife just returned from her deployment 2 weeks ago so of course we are still in a bit of the honneymoon phase, but I like to think that there is a fairly large amount of things I have learned over the last year that will allow me to make less sarcastic comments and raise a stink when we watch some of these shows.

Deployment was no doubt the hardest thing I have ever gone through, but it was the best learning experience I ever took part in in my life. I won't say I am sitting here looking forward to the next deployment, but if I learn half as much about myself with the next deployment I will be better for it.

There were times during her deployment that I wasn't sure I could make it any longer. I didn't know if I wanted to live this life as a MILspouse. But somewhere around the halfway mark I began to understand that deployment can make or break a marriage, and I chose to let it make mine.

When I made the choice to let the deployment make me a better father, husband and man, it really did become easier. The moment I made the conscious choice to allow all of the hardship that comes with deployment mold me, I found out that I really was better for our year apart. I never would have imagined I could do some of the things I did during her deployment. If nothing else, if you are ever at a dirt track car racetrack and you need your baby's diaper changed, I can get it changed in less than 2 mins without the use of the bleachers or a changing table. And it doesn't matter if it's a poopy or pee-pee diaper.

There all all those expressions like:
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
If God brought you to it He will bring you through it.
You don't know how strong you are until you have no other choice but to be strong.
And many more......

Those all seem silly when you are in the midst of working through something, but when you understand how true those statements are things get easier. Luckily for me I understood how true those statements were well before my wife returned so I was able to start working on some "ME" things. I was able to look at some of her show choices not as boring TV, but an appreciation to be sitting next to my bride as I work.

I hope you will do like I did and make the choice to let a deployment, TDY or other seperation make you a better person. Both for yourself and your family.