Anxiety...

My husband is in his final year of the ROTC program and we are finally getting answers to some of the questions that we have been waiting on for two years.   We found out that he got active duty like he wanted and last night he found out what branch he will be in.   We are still waiting on his training date and won’t receive that until February.

Even though we are finally getting answers, it seems like it is creating even more anxiety for the future that lies ahead.  I have been thinking for the past two years that answers were exactly what I needed, but now everything is becoming so real.  Ever since my husband, then boyfriend, started to talk about joining the ROTC program I have been on the web trying to gain as much information about army life as I possibly can.  My thought process was that the more prepared I am, the easier things will be.  I’m starting to realize that there are just some things I’m just not going to be able to prepare myself for, mentally that is.   It seems as if the few answers we do receive, brings about even more questions that will just take even more time to answer, in turn causing my anxiety to get even worse. 

*****

Maybe somebody out there could give me a little more insight on a question that I have…How (if it actually does) can the branch your husband is in affect your army life? Do some jobs in the army require you to move more, maybe require your spouse to be deployed more, or just be away from home more?  Is it okay for me to post what branch of the army my husband will be in?  

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Love Military Life!

LAWTON, OKLAHOMA—October 15, 2011—Whether you are married to the military, a friend or family to a Service member, or a recruit looking to be encouraged, you can be sure you’ll find what you are looking for in 1001 THINGS TO LOVE ABOUT MILITARY LIFE. Written by the founders of the preferred empowering website for Army spouses, Army Wife Network, Tara Crooks and Star Henderson, along with motivational speakers and authors, Holly Scherer and Kathie Hightower, 1001 THINGS TO LOVE ABOUT MILITARY LIFE chronicles the adventures found in the everyday lives of military members and their families.

An inspirational look into the lives of heroes who selflessly serve our country and the families who sacrifice so much to stand with them, 1001 THINGS TO LOVE ABOUT MILITARY LIFE is full of heart-warming vignettes, laugh-out-loud lists, stories and quotes from military members and family members, and photos that speak a thousand positive affirmations. This book is a perfect illustration of the greatness of the military profession and lifestyle.

Due for release nationally by Hachette Book Group's Center Street brand on November 2, 2011, 1001 THINGS TO LOVE ABOUT MILITARY LIFE offers up practical truths most service members wouldn't want to live without along with unique outlooks at the services and advantages military life provides. Military or civilian, you'll evidence the community and personal growth that the military offers.

The authors pulled from their own experiences as military spouses and veterans, along with hundreds of interviews, to compile this representative list of the many positives of military life.

A true tribute to the dedication of America’s Service men and women and their courageous families, 1001 THINGS TO LOVE ABOUT MILITARY LIFE should hold a place on every American bookshelf!

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Army Wife Network is the internet’s leading Web site for Army Wives, by Army Wives. We boast the only internet talk radio show designed specifically for military spouses – Army Wife Talk Radio – in its sixth year of broadcasting. To find out more about AWN’s history and interactive empowerment tools, please visit our Web site at http://www.ArmyWifeNetwork.com.

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For more information about this topic or to schedule an interview with Army Wife Network founders Tara Crooks and Star Henderson, please call (888) 866-5041 or e-mail info@armywifenetwork.com.

LoveMilitaryLife.com is the home site for this new book!

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AWTR Show 339: AWN Household 6 Finalists

Presents Army Wife Talk Radio

Join the AWN team this week on Army Wife Talk Radio for a conversation with our Army Wife Network Household 6 finalists - Nadine Albrecht, Emily Grace, & Kowanda McBride! Then, be ready to vote for your favorite!

Resource of the Week: N/A


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Visit Army Wife Network and Loving A Soldier Blog

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Christmas shopping & saving

How is your Christmas shopping going?

I know, I know, it’s not even Halloween yet, but it’s NEVER to early to think about Christmas. Truth be told, I’m done Christmas shopping, and I didn’t have to go into debt doing it. That’s the best part.

Here is how I did it and maybe my ideas might help a few of you? Feel free to share your ideas as well!




The main reason why this was possible was because I shopped sales throughout the year, and although it may be late for some of you to take advantage of that now, it’s surely something to think about next year. I used websites like kidswoot.com and Amazon.com to help make this happen.

Another way I was able to save was because we are stationed in Germany. Our PX has a small selection of toys that is currently growing to meet the Christmas demand, but other than the PX, there aren’t many other options as far as shopping for children’s items out here unless I want to pay a lot of Euro. So, this special circumstance kept me from wandering through the isles at Target or Toys-R-Us and mindlessly buying toys for Christmas.

Living in Germany also provided a unique opportunity to put together Christmas boxes for family members with authentic German items enclosed and sending those for Christmas gifts. So again, this kept me from having to go wander through a store looking for things for my brother and sisters. The items we put in those boxes will last throughout the years AND are priceless in my opinion. This is one idea that is perfect and cheap for wherever you are stationed and it’s not to late at all to take advantage of this idea for this holiday season.

I also kept track of what we bought our kids throughout the year to keep from overbuying and to stay on budget. This has been an important aspect of my Christmas shopping for the past few years. It is way to easy to forget how much each item was and the quantity of what we bought our kids, so writing it down kept us in check.

Another thing that kept me in check this year was the prospect of having to wrap all the gifts by myself. My husband is currently deployed in support of Operation Enduring Freedom, so that means all the gifts for BOTH kids and family members fall on my shoulders as far as wrapping goes this year. I suck at wrapping gifts. I use to much tape and to little paper and it just drags on and on. Plus, I can only do it at night once I am positive the children are asleep so that they don’t wander downstairs and ruin the surprise. Bottom line, wrapping gifts is a pain for me, so if I don’t buy to many gifts, that means less time getting paper-cuts!

I hope my Christmas shopping experience helps some of you this year as you embark on your Christmas shopping adventures. Please feel free to share some of your tips on saving during the holiday season! Good luck!

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Hello!

Hello everyone!

This is my first offical blog post , and I know its been a few months since i have blogged at all .On this one or my personal one . There just hasnt been time with all of the things going on . Now that things are settling down , I can now blog . A little about my self . I am 23  , I have a 2 year old and am married to my amazing husband . Who right now is in the Air Force but is in the process of switching to the Army , He wants to do special forces and I support him , now if he continues training , he has to be selected and its a month long process . I live in Alaska for the moment but soon hopefully i will be going home to Idaho for the duration my husband is gone  , then off to our first station . I was in the military before i met my husband and got out when i got pregnant. So here i am , an (almost) army wife , mother and student .

Living in Alaska for the last year has been quite an interestin experiance . It is now October and has been raining and snowing all day . But this time last year is was just raining we didnt get our first snow til thanksgiving day . Shows how unpridictable the weather can be sometimes.

Everyday is a day closer to my husband living for basic and AIT , and everyday i get a little more worried about how its going to be for our son , or how its going to be being apart for this first time since we got married. I know that its not a deployment and I really shouldnt be complaining , but you always wonder how its going to go before it even happens . Right? There are alot of things I think that as wives we think about . Again I know its not a deployment and only basic , and AIT . but you never know what could happen in the time he is gone . I have come to learn that being independant and taking control of everything before he leaves, always makes the tranistion to being the only parent for a duration of time much more easier .

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AWTR Show 338: Army Wives: A Sisterhood

Presents Army Wife Talk Radio

Join the AWN team this week on Army Wife Talk Radio for a conversation with Debby Giusti – she knows a special kind of SISTERHOOD – find out more!

Resource of the Week: American Red Cross


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AWTR Show 337: Life Insurance & SGLI

Presents Army Wife Talk Radio

Join the AWN team this week on Army Wife Talk Radio for National Insurance Month with USAA’s Greg Blake. We’ll be talking about exactly what you will need to know about your insurance needs as a military spouse.

Resource of the Week: Remember When


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Grain-Free? What about Bread!?

Generally, when I explain to someone the details of how my family eats (with the goal of no grains, no legumes, no refined sugar, grass fed whole fat dairy, and no "processed food"), I receive either a blank look or the phrase "Oh, I could never give up {insert grain-based staple here}."

Let me tell you right now- yes, you could.

If the reason for making the change was motivating or powerful enough, you would make it happen. The question is simply what motivates you?

We began drifting towards a grain free diet in November of 2010 based on the recommendation of my soldier's doctors. While I was beyond skeptical, I spent the Christmas holidays reading every scrap of information I could track down. I found enough valid science and anecdotal reference that I was willing to give it a try- especially since my son had begun showing signs of random gastro issues.

 I experimented, Googled and searched grocery store shelves. It was time consuming, frustrating and, at times, really expensive. But a pattern started to energy. When I was organized and on top of things we all felt better. When I didn't manage to stick to whole, fresh foods and minimally processed options, my soldier's GI pain increased, he was more anxious and stressed, I had more migraines and insomnia and the little guy had an upset stomach and was fussier.

So slowly we moved towards a more consistently grain-free diet. This was not a plan to lose weight, look younger,  or cure any disease (although we felt better and I did lose weight).  I simply wanted to provide my family with best foundation possible. My soldier's PT score went up, my toddler started sleeping through the night and napping consistently, and I lost 20 lbs.





Are 100% health nuts? Not at all. We still eat our favorite foods, just less often- treats instead of staples. I haven't quite kicked the soda habit although I've cut way down. I've become a more effective meal planner to ensure that we don't waste expensive produce by letting it go bad and not eating out frees up cash. I'm still working on making couponing work with my new shopping lists and my commissary runs are getting less and less pricey.


It is a journey, a lifestyle change. I'm considering it an investment in the future. I look at my son and think of all the challenges that await him. If there is anything I can do to reduce those challenges, like by giving him a healthier start, then why wouldn't I do it?

Surprisingly (for me), it is my husband who struggles with giving up SAD (standard american diet) foods more than I do- especially meals he likes to eat out. So we plan on two grain-inclusive meals a week and he often snacks on convenience foods. But in my mind, you just can't beat the results. It just makes sense to me that what you put in your body has a huge impact. If we are what we eat, what a gift I can give by preparing nutritious, real food for my loved ones!


It constantly amazes how the impossible can be broken down into doable pieces with the right perspective. If you'd asked this Italian girl a couple years ago to plan a grocery store trip without pasta? I would have told you to stuff it. ;) Preferably with spinach and ricotta.

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Homecoming

Now this is a sign of true bliss - Homecoming. Yes, we all celebrate it in one way or another as a spouse, family members, friends, or colleagues and it’s one of the happiest times we have as a Military Family.

Here lately we got to experience ADVON coming up and I am now counting the days instead of weeks on end. I find myself looking back on this year and I am happy to admit it went fairly quick for me. Not in the sense that it was measured in seconds, but the weeks seemed to roll by one by one. I suppose having four children, homeschooling them, church, volunteering with FRG, sports, college courses, etc. etc. did well to occupy my time.

There were moments when I missed my husband dearly though…

~My husband is the jokester between him and I and so the boys could have more fun with him than me. I am always the more serious of the two, but this deployment actually made me more prepared to just have FUN with my boys.

~I missed our Saturday brunches-every Saturday. It had become the tradition that my husband cooked a big American breakfast (something you appreciate being stationed in Germany) and I so loved waking up to a wonderful home cooked breakfast. *Erich, I can’t wait till I have some of your fantastic sausage-gravy biscuits!! (I am so craving them now).

~On the subject of food. I miss his BBQ-cooking. Ugh, why are men just better at grilling? I tried twice (yes only twice in a year) to BBQ and failed miserably both times. *He did mention that will be on the agenda for when he gets home! YAY!

~I miss watching late night movies with him. Yes, with four children—you don’t go out much and then you become avid movie goers to suffice your time (at least for this family)

~I do believe I can say something about physical touch. If you have ever read “The Five Love Languages” my top two are quality time and physical touch (S-E-X) –so my love tank is empty. I have read that sometimes after a reunion this can be an issue, but I am safe to say it won’t be for us.

~I miss our family sit down dinners. It’s part of our family tradition. We wait until he got home from work to have dinner together as a family. “A family that eats together stays together.” --I made that up but you get the idea.

~I miss his hugs, again with the physical touch, but if I had the worst day possible –he would come home and give me a hug (even if I didn’t want one) and yet it made everything better. *I can’t wait for that hug!! I’ve been dreaming about it.

~I miss traveling. Yes, it is hard to do and we don’t do it often but we live in Germany—who wouldn’t? I have managed to take some small daytrips throughout the year to compensate and lets no forget those wonderful, amazing family retreats that the Army funds for deployment spouses/family members (life-saver for me).

Am sure there are more things I miss, but I will spare you the details because I know you all have them too. Something you are missing, something we all sacrifice in the name of duty and honor. I am proud of my Soldier and the work he and his whole BN have done to complete their mission downrange. I am just more excited about his return.

I really want to thank my aunt for the late night boo-hoo calls I made to her and the comfort she gave me, to my Church family (they are my family away from home), to all my friends here in Germany to keep me going with words of encouragement, and my FRSA and FRG Leaders for being on top of things as this deployments ends and all the hard work to set up for single soldiers rooms and the all things related. I would also like to thank the inventor of Skype, because without it - I don’t think I could have managed this deployment so well.

Confession: We tried a night of leaving our Skype video call on to ‘fall asleep together” but it didn’t work for me. I stayed up all night long staring at him and it made me feel like some crazed stalker (lol). The gesture was nice though, but it made me just miss him more. Overall, it was great to hear and see him when I could.

I suppose each family is unique and that everyone has a take on homecomings. I would just say that in between cleaning out closets, basements, carpets (I did this weekend), just know that at some point the deployment does end and I can’t wait for this one to end and for the day to call my own-Homecoming day.

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Everyone is like a moon and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.

Everyone has secrets. I don’t care how wonderful you think you are, you are hiding something. Whether it’s your real weight or your real hair color or how you really feel about your in-laws or what you do behind closed doors. Everyone has at least one thing they don’t want the world to know. Some secrets are good; some not so much. I am going to get the ball rolling and share some of my secrets.




I posted those secrets on the PostSecret app for iPhone. PostSecret.com is an online blog, which features the secrets people anonymously mail in on a post card. The app is like that except in real-time. (Oh, and for the record, if you even kind of know me, you’d know that first secret isn’t really a secret. I am the most proud mama in the world. The fact that I get a front-row seat to watch my son grow up to be a wonderful man is the best gift I’ve ever received.)

However… another secret of mine? There are days where being a mom is just too much for me to handle. There are days where I don’t want to even begin to deal with the day. My son wakes me up at 0700, demanding for me to get up, go to the living room, put on his favorite DVD (Elmo’s Potty Time), get him a waffle, and some apple juice. More often than not, I am thinking, Get it yourself. And while you’re at it, change your diaper. My husband isn’t there to let me sleep in. I have no choice but to get up and pacify the two-year-old beast who lives in my apartment.

Being a stay-at-home mom, housewife, nurse, counselor, toy-, shoe-, key-finder, cook, housekeeper, etc. is exhausting with a capital UGH. I love my life, but really, it’s too much sometimes. The first day my husband was gone for a field exercise a couple of weeks ago, my son spent the day throwing fit after fit. After torturing me with his tantrums, he decided he wanted apple juice while I was taking a shower. I left the door open while I was bathing so I could listen out for Matthew. (You know, believe it or not, one of the many things you cannot hear while you’re showering is liquid pouring.) I heard him screaming, so I ran out to check on him, suds in my hair and all. As it turns out, he decided to pour a gallon of apple juice all over the couch, trying to get it into his cup. Why was he screaming? He missed his cup all together, and he was livid about it. At that point, I was ready to rip all of my hair out and run away, naked as a jaybird. Thankfully, Matthew happened to be spending the night at the sitter’s house that night so I could do some midnight shopping (Oh, yeah… midnight shopping in Korea ROCKS). I called Nickole up and pleaded with her to let me drop him off an hour early, because I was ready to lose it. She agreed, and I hauled butt to get him over there. When I dropped him off, I breathed the biggest sigh of relief humanly possible.

I spoke to my best friend, Shawna, about it that afternoon. I had to vent my frustrations and genuine heartache to someone, and who better than someone who has been there, done that, and got the embroidered pillow to show for it. I felt like a horrible mom. I felt like a failure, because I couldn’t handle my kid anymore. I felt like maybe this being-a-mom thing wasn’t for me, because I was/am struggling with it so much. He’ll be three years old in December. I’ve got at least another 15 years doing this, and I’m ready to give up NOW?

I have the best best friend anyone could ever ask for. She is understanding, considerate, funny, extremely charming, and totally gets me. I told her how I felt and how much I was struggling being everything to my family, and she explained to me that we’ve all been there. We’ve all felt like we cannot take it anymore. You cannot be everything. Period. Just because you can doesn’t mean you should. Sure, I can cook, clean, do laundry, take out the trash, take care of my toddler, and run errands all in the same day, but why should I? Shawna told me about her experiences when her daughter was a toddler and it made me feel … normal. I felt like a normal human being, for once. As Shawna likes to remind me, I’m not special. And really, I’m okay with not being special. I’m just a mom and a wife trying to make it – whatever “it” may be – work.

Why don’t we, as wives/mothers/husbands/fathers/Army spouses, talk about how much this truly sucks sometimes? I was embarrassed to tell Shawna how much I was struggling being a mom, and in talking to her, I realized I am not the only one, but no one ever talks about it. If I ever hear anything, it’s always about how wonderful everything is. Rarely do I hear about how people really feel when the crap hits the fan. Well, I’m here to tell you my life isn’t perfect. I have secrets. I struggle. I get frustrated at life. I get frustrated at the Army. I get frustrated at my husband. I get frustrated at my toddler. Every day is a battle until lights out. If you know anything about a toddler, everything is a fight. The indecisiveness, the tantrums, the struggle to figure out what they want because they decided to stop talking and just grunt instead; it’s all a battle. It’s not always peaches and cream. There are days that I think I cannot do this anymore, and then my son does something incredibly sweet out of nowhere, like kiss me and tells me he loves me. And that’s when I am reminded every single second of every single moment of every single day is worth every single memory with my family – the good, the bad, the ugly.

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DON'T feed the beast!!!

As part of the Army Wife Network team it is an obligation for me to write one blog post per month. After writing my blog for last month I immediately knew what I wanted to write about this month. I considered doing it in addition to my single blog per month, but I wanted to really think about what I wanted to say.

Coincidentally just today I came across a blog on the facebook page of Her War Her Voice written by someone from spouseBUZZ.com. It tackled an issue that has been nagging at me for some time, the same issue I wanted to write on 30 days ago. It was clearly written from a more intellectual standpoint than I could ever write, but it only added to what I want to say. To read the article I am speaking of I guess you can google/bing these words: Military Women and Military Wives: Enemies or Allies? SpouseBUZZ.com

If I wasn't so computer stupid I may be able to tag it or simply link it without you having to do a little work. But I would encourage you to do so after reading what I have come up with in the last month.

Something I have noticed about military spouses is there is often talk about us being stereotyped. I say us even though typically as a guy I am not clumped in there, but I consider my female counterparts no different than me and I am deeply saddened by words I read across my computer screen or hear in chit chat with other MILspouse's.

We have all heard the labels that have been placed on us. I would give some examples, but I refuse to feed the beast. Why? Because those labels, stereotypes, hurtful degrading words, they are only used within our community. I have NEVER heard someone not in the military ever put down a military spouse and paint such an evil and wicked picture of them.

All the comments and posts across facebook that say things like "and this is why we have a bad name" or "people like her are the one's who give us a bad name", those are so totally feeding the beast, that it's scary. The one's who are labeling us, are us. And it really needs to be squashed.

I hear things off the facebook world like "I don't do this or that because it's cliquish". Well I got news for you, wherever we go, wherever we are, there are cliques. A clique by definition according to wikipedia is: an exclusive group of people who share common interests, views, patterns of behavior or ethnicity. People make the word clique sound like this horrible thing. To me a clique is my group of friends. Because why would I want to hang out with people who I didn't have common interests and views with?

I can honestly say that I believe the challenge of being a military MANspouse gives me some challenges that my female counterparts just don't have. But one thing I am EXTREMELY thankful for not really having is the drama. Yes, drama, that other word we toss around like a puppy tosses a new squeaky toy. Personally, I don't have drama in my life. Except which is created by me and only effects me. But I don't involve myself in other people's lives so much that gossip and rumors are part of my daily living. But I do hear it all the time as folks feed the beast around me.

I have heard service members say things about us, creating misconceptions based on 1 out of 100 individuals that made poor choices. But not in a million years do they talk as much smack as we do about one another.

There are good people and bad people all over the world. There are adulterers in every walk of life. There are gold diggers in every town across the nation. There are lazy people on every street in America. There are people who handle stress well, and there are people who don't handle stress well and do cry a river. But just because someone is an emotional train wreck at times doesn't mean they are a MILspouse. Mental/emotional stress takes form in every other house across our land. Not just on post.

When I read some of the things I read and hear with my own ears the things I am sometimes forced to hear, I am appalled all too often. My "blood" family has issues and struggles, but you don't hear me saying "it's a Perry thing". We are all individuals, walking our own individual walks, making our very own decisions as adults. And it is EXTREMELY unfair to clump us together in any negative manner.

Personally, I can say whole hearted I don't know a single MILspouse that is not a quality person from what I know of them. I don't know a single MILspouse who is partaking in anything that any ordinary red blooded American doesn't do. Some are struggling with marriage or parenting or finances or priorities or a whole host of other things, just like our civilian counterparts do.

If anything, every MILspouse I am regularly in contact with either in person or online is doing amazing things. Some are running Army Wife Network, some are the Military Spouse of the Year, some are running support/information pages and some..... well they are taking care of the kids, the house, the spouse, the bills and all the other daily trappings of life(which those last things are just as great as any of the things I mentioned before that). The people I am surrounded by, not a single one is one that "gives us a bad name". My clique, it's a group of people that are just like me doing the best they can at life in general. It just so happens they are part of the 1% of Americans who are called to serve in the Silent Ranks. The people I surround myself are not part of the .00001% that are feeding the beast.

I encourage you to stop, look around and think, is anyone you know doing anything different than the rest of humanity? Of course this is besides the fact that they are sacrificially serving our country in their own way.

I beg of you, I implore you, please..... PLEASE!!..... STOP FEEDING THE BEAST!!

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Are you infectious?

What is the very first thing you think of when you read that question? Of course, you are thinking of germs and nasty stuff! That's just natural. But, have you ever thought of it in a different light? Are you infectious with your smile? Your kind thoughts? Lending a hand to someone in need? Compassion? How about your attitude and your countenance?

I experienced first-hand an exchange between two people the other day that quite honestly, really bothered me and made me stop to ponder my very question. I have been in the cross hairs of one of the parties plenty of times before, but the other day, I was not the target but the witness. How is it that some people can be so miserably unhappy?

Well, I'll tell you because I used to be there. I grew up in an extremely dysfunctional home, I married into an unhealthy relationship, created and experienced plenty of mistakes of my own doing and felt defeated, unloved, and unworthy of ever having the "happily ever after" life. But then I started taking control of my life instead of my life controlling me. And what a difference that has made! Not only that, but the changes led me to the absolute true love of my life, Brent. And let me tell you, life is incredibly beautiful with this man! If you don't believe me, look at my profile picture on Facebook. That is not a onetime occurrence but an every single day reality!

Was it easy? Heck no! Does it take work? You better believe it! But, I have too much to offer and a lot of living left to do. I am not perfect and there is still plenty of work to be done, but I am such a happy woman now. I try really hard to be positive, look for the good in others, and have a smile on my face regardless of the circumstances. Life is tough. Why make it more difficult?

So, my challenge to you today is to be infectious! Brighten someone's day with a smile. Help someone with the door. Allow someone with only two items in their cart to go before you in the check-out line. Pay for someone's coffee behind you at Starbucks (heck, maybe it needs to be at McDonald's since it's only a buck and times are tough). Take a moment and look in the mirror. What does someone see in your countenance? I know I have to watch myself with this one as I tend to be very serious and it looks as though I am ticked off or something. Really, that is not the case! I promise.

What good "germs" are you infecting people with today?

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AWTR Show 336: Personality Profile

Presents Army Wife Talk Radio

Join the AWN team this week on Army Wife Talk Radio for a personality education. Ever wondered why we marry an opposite? How different personalities can parent differently? Find out more when we talk with author Angel Tucker.

Resource of the Week: Zero To Three


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Visit Army Wife Network and Loving A Soldier Blog

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Ah, Autumn!

It's that time of year again, when the smells in the air are apple cider, burning leaves, and the hint of winter's chill in the wind. Less poetic, but still present are the smells of diesel fuel, cardboard boxes, and stale fast food wrappers. Yes, along with autumn comes PCS season; at least that's what it seems like to me, when every time I look down the road there are 3 idling moving trucks in front of my neighbors' houses.

Just last week Big Sarge emailed me with a list of duty stations that were available to him after this deployment. Oklahoma, Texas, Illinois, Kansas, Texas again. Or if he was airborne qualified he could go to Fort Bragg, Hawaii, or Germany. He told me that when they say "Germany-airborne qualified", they mean "Italy". Side note-Italy is my dream duty station. I would happily push Big Sarge out of a plane (parachute on his back, of course) to be able to go to Italy. Heck, I'd jump out of the plane myself. How do you say "Geronimo!" in Italian?

Or we could stay here at Benning. I didn't really know how to process this. Stay in one place for over a year and a half? Be in the same place for Thanksgiving for at least 2 years in a row? I haven't had the same return address on my Christmas cards in 10 years. Didn't I marry a soldier to see the world? There is so much more to see! The world awaits!

Then I remember a quote by Isak Dinesen-"The world was made round, so that we would never be able to see too far down the road." We shouldn't get so caught up in the next duty station, the next house, the next friends that you will meet, that we forget about how we can help out at THIS duty station, how we can make THIS house our home, how we can find friends HERE. It's good to have dreams. I dream of one day building a house to grow old in, a house that Big Army will never be able to tell me to leave. Have those dreams. But make the moment you are in, the house you are in, the place you are in as good as it possibly can get.

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My Husband Saves the Day…….

Last week I was fortunate enough that my husband was able to fly in for my clinical conference presentation. Our whole grade for this class is based on a team presentation that lasts an hour. We aren’t suppose to have note cards and the professors want you to speak freely to the class about your patient case. While I love to talk, getting up in front of 120 peers and faculty is not my idea of a great time.

So after endless nights of revisions prior to our presentation (UGH), I was finally ready to present my information. We practiced our presentation nonstop for the entire week. My section of the presentation had a lot of interaction with my peers. In order to make sure there was interaction of answering questions, I made sure to plant the answers between all the students. I knew I could count on these people if other people wouldn’t participate. Boy, was I wrong. One minute into my presentation I asked the audience a question relevant to physical therapy. It felt like hours standing in front of the auditorium sweating before I heard a familiar voice. My husband in military fashion shouted the answer. When I say shouted, he put his hands around his mouth so that everyone could hear the answer. I stood in shock for about a few seconds before continuing my presentation. Did he stop there? Oh no!!! He then proceeded to shout out that he is not even a physical therapy student and knew the answer. Let me tell you the first time I asked this question he expected every patient to be able to participate in cross fit which was not the answer.

While at the moment I was mortified, I continued my presentation without hesitation. I wanted to kill my husband and was so embarrassed. After the presentation, our director of the program was so impressed that my husband was so educated. Little did she know that he had already heard my presentation like fifty times. Furthermore, my roommate’s grandma was like not only is that husband of yours cute he is also smart! My husband was grinning ear to ear and definitely did not need the extra boost to his ego.

Looking back on my presentation, it wouldn’t be as funny without the dialogue of my husband. It reminded me what it is like to be partners in crime and that he will always have my back. So to my husband, thank you!

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AWTR Show 335: Breast Cancer Awareness Month

Presents Army Wife Talk Radio

Join the AWN team this week on Army Wife Talk Radio for National Breast Cancer Awareness Month. We’ll be speaking with military spouse Crystal Tatum, a breast cancer survivor, about her memoir.

Resource of the Week: Military Money


Click here to download the MP3

Visit Army Wife Network and Loving A Soldier Blog

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AWN October Book Club

Hello out there Book Clubbers! This months book club read is one for the kids.

A HEART APART
Writeen and Illustrated by Melissa Seligman and Christina Piper

Check it out and let me know what you think! http://www.lifecaptured.com/site/a_heart_apart

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Everyone Needs an "Expert" Battle Buddy

This past weekend I was having my weekly wine with my neighbor (hey, don't judge a girls gotta have some down time you know?) when we started a discussion on the topic of her new found "job" as a Battalion Commander's spouse. She was sharing how she felt blessed that she had such great friends & neighbors (I call these battle buddies) because she is definitely feeling a bit "lost in the sauce" when it comes to meeting all of the expectations and answering all of the questions that have come along with this new position."I don't need any of those books all I need is the number to Army Community Services & Tara Crooks." she said. I laughed. "My number? Why would you need my number?" I asked. "Because you're an expert." she replied. We eventually went on to other more interesting topics. (I mean really, we couldn't spend an entire evening on Army stuff could we? Nevermind. I answered my own question.) But, it did get me to thinking.

An expert? I never really considered myself an expert. Mostly because as with anything Army, as soon as you figure it out they change it. Many of you have met me in person and remember the story of me and my first FRG phone call:

Her: Hi, this is ___insert random name here b/c I honestly do not remember. Shocking right? __. 
Me: Uh huh. 
Her: I am your FRG leader. 
Me: What? A Frog? 
Her: Family Readiness Group. We're having a mandatory meeting tomorrow at 5:30pm. Please bring cookies.
Me: Um, not sure who you are or what you're calling me for. Nothing is mandatory for me, I'm a civilian. Oh, and I don't bake. Call Betty Crocker. 
Click.  

And if you've met me in person you've also heard me tell you the story of when I "checked in" to this Army life. It wasn't until after I interviewed quite a few people on Army Wife Talk Radio that realized I better figure some things out in order to survive this journey. (If you want the accelerated learning course just have your hubby leave on deployment.)

Bottom line is that though these situations all happened in my past and despite the Army changes on a daily basis I guess she was right - I am an expert. It just depends on how you look at it. If you asked me the wording to the Army Family Covenant I couldn't tell you. If you asked me what Basic Training was like I'd have no idea. If you asked me to explain why Finance shorted your pay I wouldn't know. BUT...I WOULD KNOW where to send you to find the answer. I am a jack-of-all-Army-related-trades. In my experiences of learning about what others have done, sharing stories, and resources I have chalked my little grab bag of resources & experiences pretty full.

Are you an expert? What are you good at? What do you like to do? What are you going to be a good battle buddy for? Do you...

Scrapbook
Network
Volunteer
Workout
Photography
Paint
Write
Laugh
Relax
Clean
Organize
Parenting
Cook
Decorate
Finances

When you're going through this journey and learning it is important to have those battle buddies (or friends & neighbors as she called them) all lined up. That way when it's time to call them to duty you know exactly who to call. When it's time for a workout - call your fitness friend who can show you the ropes at the gym, go to a class, or drill sergeant your butt out of bed in the morning. When it's time to cook dinner for your family - grab your girlfriend who cooks and ask her to bring her recipes along. When it's time to relax and unwind - see if the neighbor next door has made her weekly Class 6 run and look at her - and her wine glass - longingly with a touch of pathetic and hope she invites you for wine and some great conversation!

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Taking The Leap

One thing about dealing with deployment is it will surely test you mentally and emotionally. From the worry of the safety of your soldier to how you are going to find it in you to follow through with that pizza and movie night you promised the kids.

Another thing about deployment is it is very likely you may question your sanity at any moment. Sometimes you wonder if you should just leave the kids at home even when they aren't of the appropriate age just to get a minute without them; sometimes you wonder why you do a big ol' flippity floppity in your attitude. Today, I did both of those things.

Just a few days ago I was on top of the world. I was completely ready to not only tackle the rest of this deployment, but then I was going to squish its face in the ground and give it a kick as I walked away. Today was a different story.

This week had been going great. Then I found out our youngest son has some minor allergies and I need to alter his diet. The only thing that really gets effected through this allergy is his bowel movements and he gets hives. But basically he is allergic to everything he has grown accustomed to eating(with the exception of peanut butter).

Then I got a phone call that the tenants in the home we rent out back home are moving out and we need to replace them. Not good timing considering we are really making a conscious effort to get ahead on our finances.

And the worst, I tried yet again to quit smoking and failed. I honestly believe there isn't many feelings worse than failing at something you really want to do.

Today I spent the morning trying to find out if there was a possibility of us renting a different home. We pay more than we can really afford with this house. And trust me, it is nothing special. I was only discouraged more to find the things in our price range are complete dumps. As for on post housing you ask.... well how about the waiting list? Or how about trying to get specific Power of Attorney from my wife who is downrange at a remote location? All of these things seemed to pile one on top of the other.

I know what I am speaking of may seem petty compared to what MANY MANY MANY are dealing with, but at this moment they are big deals around here. Throw in that I am itching to get out and away from the kids and it makes for a cranky daddy. I love my kids, I really do. I absolutely love doing all sorts of neat adventures with them, but there comes a time when daddy is at the end of his rope. Tonight was that night, but I kept hanging on to that little bit of rope I was left with. You might even be able to say I tied that last portion around my wrist, because I felt like just letting go. I felt like leaving the kids and just taking a drive(no I wouldn't really do this). And I REALLY REALLY REALLY wanted to make a run to McDonald's and get a super sized value meal with a double quarter pounder and Iced Tea and eat my sorrow away for the evening. But since I have come to realize I have used food for too long for comfort and am trying desperately to lose weight, I kept hanging on.

Every negative thought that could enter my mind tonight did. But I didn't give in. Why, because I got faith. I got faith in my heart. I have faith that I can do anything, including pushing my way through a cranky attitude where I became a little snippy with the kids. I pushed through to make sure we did have that pizza and movie night like I promised.

It really has been a long road getting from there to here, but I am doing it. I said SCREW YOU McDonald's!! I said to myself there is no way I am going to let this deployment and this current set of circumstances break me.

The hardest thing to do can sometimes be the easiest. We are all given choices. We can choose to hate or we can choose to love. We can choose to quit or continue. We can choose to leave the kids at the house or we can have that pizza and movie with them.

In some form or another we all have to have some sort of faith. For some having faith in themselves is enough. For me, it's my faith in my God that propels me to take those steps I don't want to. Instead of taking the step to my keys to hit up Mickey D's, I took the step to push through.

Dr Martin Luther King, Jr. said: "Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the staircase." For me, taking that first step was not moving at all. Not leaving the kids at home or finding a babysitter and spending money I don't have. Taking that first step was going to Lil Caesar's and grabbing that pizza and RedBox to get a movie. And taking that first step even meant not moving at all in the direction of a super sized value meal.

I am not sure where you who are reading this are at. But if you are in a deployment or have been, I am sure you can relate to a good portion of this blog. My words to you would be to keep your faith. If you don't have it, find it. It's not easy having few friends and no family around. It's not easy not having a group of people you can get together with or count on. It's not easy doing life alone when in fact you got married so you would never have to do that. But if you have faith, then you can get through it.

Much love to all my friends who know exactly what I am talking about in this blog. If nothing else, know that I have faith in you. You can do it. You can grab that star as long as you have faith in your heart.

"I don't pray for God to take my problems away, I pray only for God to give me the strength to go through them." --- Jose Lozano

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Holiday Thoughts Already?

This past week we reached the 6 month mark of this deployment. We're half way to the finish! Halfway to Daddy being home. Half way to feeling his arms wrapped around me again. Half way to not being a "single mom" anymore! We've reached 6 months with only a few bumps along the way, and I'm incredibly impressed and amazed that we are actually here. When my husband left six months ago I felt like we would ever reach being half way through the deployment. But now here we are and the past months seem to have flown by. Of course, if you'd asked me a few months, or even weeks, ago I would have said that the days were dragging but, but in all honesty it's gone by very quickly.

With the first half of the deployment under my belt, I know that I am capable of surviving what's left to come. Our first Yellow Ribbon Event is coming up in a few weeks and the rumors of homecoming dates have already begun to spread (of course I know better to listen and get my hopes up!). But even with those signs of the end of this deployment, I'm still a bit scared of the next few months. I know I'm strong enough to handle anything that comes up, but there is one thing that has me stressed already...the holidays. Yes, I know it's only October 1st, but as the last six months have proven to me, the holidays will be here before I know it. And with Christmas decorations already making an appearance in some stores (I actually heard Christmas music playing), I'm already worried about how to handle this season. I've never spent Thanksgiving, Christmas or New Years without my husband by my side. My children have always had Daddy there to build their toys on Christmas morning. Our traditions have always included all of us, how do I continue those when one of the most important people is missing?

The first thing that came to my mind a few weeks ago when I began thinking about the holidays was to almost just ignore them. Normally, the holiday season, all the way from October to January, is my absolute  favorite time of year. But this year I imagined that I wouldn't feel like celebrating without my husband to celebrate with, so why bother. I planned on taking the kids to Disney World for Christmas, both as their present and as a distraction. We would still be celebrating but we wouldn't have to be home. I don't want to be home in what feels like an empty house, but I also don't want to spend the holidays with family. I know that sounds awful, but I don't want to have to hold it together when I really feel like crying because I miss my husband. I don't want to be watched and scrutinized to see "how I'm holding up."

At the same time, I also know that I can't hide from the holidays. I can't do that to my children, who need the tradition and the happy times. They need to be around family and they need to have this time of year be "normal". I can't steal the joy and excitement of the holidays from my kids just because I don't want to face them and would rather just skip it all together. So for them, I will continue the traditions we have always had as a family. We will decorate the house for each coming holiday, we will enjoy WAY too much food and we will visit with our families as we always have done in the past. While I'm still anxious about the next few months, at least I can look at them as months that will bring us closer to our homecoming. I just hope the next six months of this deployment will go by as fast as the first six!

What are some ways that you have celebrated the holidays when your spouse was deployed? How did you include your spouse/family member in the celebrations when they were far away?

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