MESS HALL: Balsamic & Parmesan Roasted Cauliflower

I once stayed with someone who tried the Atkins diet. She made 'mashed cauliflower' in place of mashed potatoes. The steamed cauliflower stank to high heaven. I had sworn off cooked cauliflower for the rest of my life UNTIL this recipe came along. You should try it! Here's my full review!

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AWTR Show 330: Thriving Not Surviving Deployment

Presents Army Wife Talk Radio

Join the AWN team this week on Army Wife Talk Radio for a conversation with our good friend Vivian Greentree from Blue Star Families. We’re talking THRIVING not SURVIVING during deployment.

Resource of the Week: Code of Support Foundation

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Visit Army Wife Network and Loving A Soldier Blog

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What do YOU see?

Call it curiousity or a chance to get to know our readers better.

I'd like your comments on what these pictures say to you.

Are they one caption or the other, or both?

Missing Mommy
OR Missing Daddy



    

 

Support Our Troops
OR Support a Different Cause

 



At Home OR At War



Half Empty
OR Half Full

 

  

  

Homefront
OR Warfront

  

Here at AWN, we talk about how things are relative.

"It depends on your perspective" and "It depends what you're used to."
Well, I would like to know what do YOU see; what is your perspective?

So, don't worry so much about a right or wrong answer, or even giving an "answer,"
but I would love to read what these photos and captions brought to your mind today.

I'll give it a few days and sound off about what they mean to me.

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How Do I Get Through This?

I met with a friend the other day for lunch and we both came to a conclusion. Although it's only August, we are ready for 2011 to be over.

Let me start with the fact that I, essentially, lost my job as a music teacher because of funding and the voters in the district where I worked voted against the tax levy. Now the students in this rather large district are suffering. There is no elementary music, art, gym, or library. There is no gifted or talented program. They will have a state minimum school day of 5.5 hours and state minimum bus service (you only get to ride the bus if you live more than 2 miles from your assigned school). The buildings will lock down 30 minutes after dismissal - so no extra curriculars or after school care program. The list goes on and on. The district had no more money and had to make some HUGE cuts - including 80 teachers. With the way schools are funded in Ohio, teachers like me are having a hard time getting a job. I applied for all the schools that had openings for music teachers that I saw or heard about. Out of all the applications and resumes I sent, I got one - just ONE - interview. A week and a half after the interview, I got a letter in the mail that said I wasn't the one they hired. It's been very disheartening. I've struggled all summer long with trying to figure out what I was supposed to do. Do I go back and get a 2nd degree in regular elementary education or in vocal performance? Do I push on towards my Masters? What am I supposed to do? I hate having to rely on just my husband's income. It bothers me deep down. Especially because things are tight. We're feeling the pinch.

To add to the insanity, we knew that by December I would need a new car - we were beating a dead horse (or hamsters in the case of my car). I had a '98 Chevy Metro that had hamsters instead of an engine (it was just a 3 cylinder engine). I was on my way to meet with some lovelies from Fort Knox when my car just died. My little hamsters gave up the ghost - they were too tired. THANKFULLY, my BFF and her husband live in Louisville and were able to come to my rescue. That particular day, my hubby was on Fort Knox at the rifle range and unable to get to me. This happened 2 weeks ago.

Several days before my Louisville/Fort Knox adventure, I had my 29th birthday (I just turned 29 for the first time). My DH and I spent a good chunk of my birthday in a funeral home. One of the soldiers in his company lost his dad that week. The deceased lost his life while doing motorcycle cop duties at a funeral when he got hit by the hearse as they were entering the cemetery. I know that sounds crazy - but it was SO tragic. Our soldier's dad was also a prior service soldier and a retired cop who worked for a local university and did motorcycle funeral detail in his retirement. It was so sad. As we were waiting in line at the visitation, I heard my name. I turned around and saw that it was a girl I went to college with. Apparently, her dad and our soldier's dad were brothers - and her dad passed away 3 months prior (to the day) that our soldier's dad passed away. SO tragic! It all just kind of put a damper on celebrating my birthday - which I like to celebrate. After we went through the visitation, we did go out to dinner to a restaurant where they had singing servers (this was my cup of tea) and then at my request, we went to see The Help.

Fast Forward to last week. We had to drive back to Louisville to take care of the logistics of my dead car while at the same time look for a new car in a hurry. I found a place that would tow my car to their salvage yard for free and offered me a lot more money to scrap it than the other salvage yards in the area. YAY! We also searched Craig's List for cars in addition to dealer websites and other classifieds. I ended up getting a 1996 VW Jetta that was advertised on Craig's List for $2K. We paid $1700 for it. The nice thing was that we were able to pay cash and not have a car payment. The little car only has 107K miles on it.

During all this excitement, I got a phone call - and not a good one. A very dear friend of mine, who had been fighting breast cancer (specifically, Inflammatory Breast Cancer) passed away at the age of 41. She had fought for over 2 years with this disease and left behind a husband and 2 children, ages 8 and 4. It's been over a week now and I am still processing all of this. WHY did such a beautiful person, inside and out, who gave so much of herself to everyone have to die at such a young age while her children are still babies? I am angry and confused and bitter and sad and a bunch of other emotions. I met Ashley online almost 2 years ago. There's a local moms website that we're both members of. I had woken up one morning and found a large red, warm, tender lump on my breast. I had called my doc and he prescribed me an antibiotic over the phone - brushing it off as a breast infection. Well, after a week, it was still there and it hurt like hell. I ended up going to see my regular doctor because I had come down with the flu at the same time. While I was in his office, he examined the lump and scheduled a mammogram and an ultrasound. This was when I started to get scared. After finding out that these same symptoms are also the symptoms of Inflammatory Breast Cancer, I freaked out. I went online to the moms site and posted a question. A mutual friend of Ashley's and mine virtually introduced us. Ashley was supportive when the radiologist refused to do the mammo becuase I was just 27 at the time - even though my doc had ordered it. She referred me to some great resources and was just a rock while I was going through this. After seeing a breast surgeon and all, it turned out that I had a SUPER nasty breast infection that took several different antibiotics to kill. Ashley celebrated with me when we found out that I didn't have IBC. All this while she was fighting. You can read Ashley's blog here and follow her from the start of her fight to the end. She was a beautiful person who meant so much to so many. The church was full and overflowing for her visitation and funeral. The number of people that were at her celebration of life party was just astounding. I am proud that I could call Ashley my friend. My life is better because of her. Now I grieve for the loss of my friend, for the children whose mom won't be there when they go on their first dates, graduate from high school and college, when they get married,etc. I grieve for her husband who lost his best friend and love of his life. I grieve for her parents and step-parents who were by her side the whole way. My heart aches so badly that I can't stand it.

The school year has started and I've gone back to being a substitute teacher. I've already subbed a few days. While I was working, I saw some flyers at the district where I did my student teaching. One of my students from my student teaching, who is now 10 years old, has been diagnosed with ALL Leukemia. I FREAKING HATE CANCER! When I was 10, I lost my best friend to a cancerous brain tumor. Most of my family members that have passed away have died from cancer (or old age, but mostly cancer). I hate it. I pisses me off. I can't watch the St. Jude commercials, because I sit there and sob. I hate that organizations take people's money to raise awareness about cancer. We don't need to be made aware - we know it's there. What we need are organizations that give money to research cures and preventive measures. The research is what needs the money.

I have had a rough summer and couple weeks. There are many days that I find myself asking "How do I get through this?" Thankfully, I have the BEST friends and family a person could ask for. I have people that I can visit so that I can just cry. I also have my faith. I'm learning that it's ok to be angry and to ask God questions in anger - because He loves me no matter what. I'm still struggling with my place in the world. I am human. I am just ready for 2011 to go away and for 2012 to be here. I am tired. I am physically, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally drained. I just want to take my iPod, some books, and beach clothes and hide on a beach for at least a weekend, if not a month. I want to escape life for awhile. I am in need of some major positives to happen in my life right now. After all, I will get through all of this - some way, somehow.

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September 12th.

The one thing on our family's mind on the 10 year anniversary of the September 11th attacks, is the fact that my husband is on the soil of the country that attacked us. It's surreal. My husband, like many others, joined because of September 11th. He didn't join for the money, or the benefits, or the medical care, he joined because he couldn't stand by and twiddle his thumbs while his country was attacked and he believed that if he didn't stand up to fight for this country, than who would?



As a military family, September 11th means a lot to us. It is important for our family to honor those who died that day, and during the span of these last ten years. It is important for us to teach our children about the sacrifices that our friends, and strangers, have made on our behalf, and at the same time, it is important for us to teach our children about the sacrifices our family continues to make and WHY we make them.

The kids and I will attend whatever memorial service the base will host, but in addition to that, we will write little messages on some balloons, and release them to heaven in honor of all of those who have made the ultimate sacrifice as a result of the attacks. After we release the balloons, I will take them to go do something fun, in honor of those who perished, and in honor of those who didn't, but still live with the scars from the tragedies that consumed all of us that day.

On September 12th, my family, along with countless others, will resume normal routines, but unlike many non military families, we will continue to serve this country, alongside our soldier, as a direct result of the attacks. Our 5yr old son will start Kindergarten next week, but his father won't be here on the big day to give him support and see him off. I will become a published photographer in a few months, but my husband, my best friend, won't be here to celebrate that accomplishment with me. Our 2yr old daughter will have her first princess themed birthday party for her birthday soon, and her father won't be there to be the only male proudly sporting a princess tiara.

I've never once wondered what our life would have been like if the attacks didn't happen, but everyday has been a testament of the result of that horrible day. As my family prays for the souls lost, and all those affected by the attacks, we will also pray for our fellow military families in arms, because although our country as a whole was attacked that day and patriotism doesn't seem "cool" anymore, we continue to pay the dues each year, and serve proudly alongside our soldiers, day or night.

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Holes in the Roof...

So the very afternoon after I blog about 'keeping on the sunny side', there is a storm. One of the neighbor's trees crashed onto our roof, and as it broke off on the edge of the roof, that bloody tree also landed with the precision of a Golden Knight onto the air conditioner. Now there are three necessities for survival in Georgia and two of them are air conditioning. I'll spare you the description of the hysterics I was in while on the phone to my landlord. Suffice it to say, it took more than 2 martinis to get me calmed down. Meanwhile, rain is pouring into our den. Soaking the nicely stacked piles of blue jeans waiting to be crafted into quilts. Dripping onto the TV and all of Big Sarge's 'gaming gear'. And (horror of horrors) the rain completely destroyed my couch. The couch that a family member gifted to us 7 moves ago. The one that needed a slipcover to disguise its fugliness, just so my guests wouldn't run screaming from the house. The one that was so heavy, it required 4 soldiers bribed with chocolate chip cookies to move it. And after they moved it, I still felt so guilty, I offered beer as well. THAT couch. I don't know how I will go on.



The good news is that after living 11 days in a hotel, Izzy, Bullet, and I are back in our house with a brand-spanking new air conditioner. The GREAT news is that Big Sarge came home for R and R for this. Also great news- we've got renter's insurance, so I can replace the fugly couch with one that goes with my 'French Country' den. The not-so-great news is that while the roof did get repaired (nearly 4 weeks after the damage was done), the ceiling in the den has yet to be repaired. Contractor Dave says he will be starting work on it next Monday. I'm starting to be concerned about the mildew... Hope he brings a HazMat suit.





Big Sarge always tells me that the same things will keep happening to me until I learn the proper lesson from the circumstances. Kind of like Groundhog Day, I guess. I think the proper lesson to be learned from this is grace under fire. I could have gotten very angry with so many people- the rental office, Mother Nature, the neighbor for having a dead tree, myself for not saying, "Screw it, we're moving out!", insurance adjustors, Contractor Dave. And to be perfectly honest, at times I did get more than a trifle angry. But the trick is not to let them see it. Rise above. We're better than that, us Army spouses. We can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. But if the honey doesn't work, I hope we all have someone in our lives who can bring the vinegar in our stead.

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AWTR Show 329: Fight Less, Love More

Presents Army Wife Talk Radio

Join the AWN team this week on Army Wife Talk Radio for a conversation with Laurie Puhn and her new book “Fight Less, Love More”. Laurie is here to help us “make marriage work”.

Resource of the Week: Military Family Network

Click here to download the MP3

Visit Army Wife Network and Loving A Soldier Blog

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This past Tuesday I was invited by my wonderful friend Vivian to attend a Blue Star Families Museum event at the Jimmy Carter Presidential Library and Museum. For those of you who may not know, Blue Star Families and the National Endowment for the Arts team up with 1500 museums across the nation to offer service members and their immediate family members access to the museums free of charge from Memorial Day to Labor Day. This is a national initiative that was started in 2010. You can learn more about this amazing program at www.bluestarfam.org.

Each year during this program Blue Star Families chooses a handful of the participating museums to host a Blue Star Museum Event which includes guest speakers and tours of the museum. This year the Jimmy Carter Presidential Library and Museum in Atlanta, GA was one of those chosen and I was lucky enough to get to attend.

Let me start by saying that the museum is really something to see. Beautiful landscapes outside and a real sense of serenity and peacefulness. The inside is just as beautiful and elegant. This event had some great guest speakers on the agenda as well with a surprise speaker that blew everyone away and made this experience truly unforgettable, but I will get to that! :)

We had the honor of hearing Mark Smith, the Executive Director of Blue Star Families, speak about this amazing program. One of the most interesting points he brought up was that this initiative was made possible without costing the taxpayers a dime. He explained that this program was the perfect model of how private and public sectors can come together to do something extraordinary for our military families. Other guest speakers included Congressman Sanford Bishop representing the 2nd District of Georgia, which is the district Plains, GA is in, which is the home of former President Jimmy Carter. You can see his remarks in their entirety on the Blue Star Families website under "Blogs". Congressman John Lewis representing the 5th District of Georgia was also present as a guest speaker. We also had the pleasure of hearing Brigadier General (P), Larry Dudney, Director of the Joint Staff and Joint Task Force Georgia Commander. General Dudney is an excellent speaker and he moved me as he spoke about the sacrifices of our military and their families, which make up less than one percent of the United States population. He also acknowledged what a great way this initiative is to say thank you to our troops and their families for all they have done.

The speaker that came to the podium first was a surprise for all of us. We were honored to have former First Lady, Rosalyn Carter with us for this amazing event. She got up and spoke of her experience as a military spouse during her husband's service in the Navy in Norfolk, VA. She also spoke about her efforts to help those soldiers who are suffering from PTSD and other mental health related problems. She also works hard to help the caregivers of these soldiers and their families. I am always touched when someone steps up to the plate for our soldiers and their families and Mrs. Carter is doing that and more. She was an eloquent speaker and I may have only been a toddler when her and her husband were in the White House but getting to shake her hand and thank her for her service to our soldiers and their families from one military spouse to another, was a once in a lifetime experience. She inspired me to keep on the path I am on to continue working to make things better for the spouses that will follow in my footsteps.

I think that is mostly what I took away from this experience. That there are organizations out there and some amazing people behind them working to help us and our families. To do something that helps to ease that burden and make those sacrifices just a tad bit easier to get through. To give us something as simple and beautiful as a family memory of a wonderful day enjoying a beautiful museum!

**Janet**

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PCS Hangover

It's been a long month.

Multiple trips between Fort Campbell and Fort Leonard Wood, my little guy refusing to sleep in his new room, figuring out what furniture is going in storage since we downsized and all the other randomness that is a PCS has me just tired.

We've decided to live on post for this assignment and have gotten our house and household goods. Most of the moving boxes are unpacked and taken to the recycling center. Some of our pictures have made it to the wall.  My pots and pans are in the kitchen cabinets. But......it's not done. We're set up enough to be functional but not quite enough to feel like home.

Have you been at that point? Where people ask "Are you getting settled?" Sure, yup, we're getting there. But it's a process. And while I know that it takes time, this is our first PCS since having our son- and having a toddler makes it a totally different experience. We are working on finding a new routine, and know that will help. There has been so much unpredictability in his little life lately. Who am I kidding? I like my routine too!

We're  getting there. And that's okay. But, man, I'll be glad when things feel like normal.

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AWN's "OFFICIAL" Post With the Most

When I was asked to become a team member with the Army Wife Network, I was given the responsibility to take care of our segment titled 'Post With the Most (PWTM).' PWTM is a personal review of each installation by our fans bringing information to other fans and followers about the different Army posts across the globe (CONUS and OCONUS).

When I was tagged with this job, I almost became giddy. I love history, and if there is anything about our Army installations it is they are pretty much historic in some way. They are either part of our past history or our current history. At many of these installations you can find landmarks that have helped shape our nation. Besides that, at the core of each post you will find some of the most courageous men and women that have blessed our great nation with the freedoms we so richly enjoy.

PWTM is a survey of our followers' perspectives to give us basics about each installation and some specifics, i.e. Major Units and what the installation is "known" for. We ask our followers to tell us about the local community that surrounds each post, what the schools are like, where to find a good haircut or dentist, etc. What we are trying to do is create an informative place for any Army spouse to prepare for what life may be like when PCS time rolls around.

So the question needs to be asked, "Which Army post is, in fact, The Post with the MOST?" The answer may blow you away. The post that is, in fact, the one that has the most to offer is ... drum roll please ... the one where you are currently located.

When it was getting close to my wife receiving orders for her first duty station coming out of AIT we really didn't care where we were to be sent. One of the reasons the Army seemed so appealing to us was the chance it gave us to travel the country and possibly the world. So we knew we would be content with almost anywhere the Army decided to send us. ALMOST anywhere. We only had two places we didn't want to go: Fort Drum, NY because of the bitter cold winters and any place in the middle of the United States. (We both grew up seven miles from the beach for the better part of our lives.) Where did we end up? Fort Riley, Kansas: approximately 100 miles from what is known as the geographical center of the contiguous United States. It really doesn't get anymore middle of the United States than here.

When we got here it could have been very easy to see the negative in where we were sent. It's pretty much human nature to compare how things are to what they were or could be. It would have been simple to take all the negative things we heard about this post and let them dictate our time here. But, we chose not to. We made the choice to make the most out of where the wind blew us. I followed what Mama Mary pounded in my head as she mentored me, "Make the most out of every place you go, you may never go back."

For some reason people are pretty quick to share negative feelings. It drives me batty when I hear someone say "this post sucks!" or "there's ABSOLUTELY nothing to do here." Sure not every post is like Fort Sam Houston in the middle of San Antonio with an abundance of opportunity. Not every post is like US Army Garrison Grafenwohr in Germany where you can travel Europe. Not every post is like Fort Wainwright situated in the land known as The Last Frontier. But EVERY post offers something.

Getting initial word that we were heading to Fort Riley I felt like I just found coal in my stocking. Sure I was excited that we actually knew where we were going, but really, Kansas? I tried my best to give this adventure the benefit of the doubt. I kept pressing and pressing this lump of coal in the middle of the United States and what do you know, I quickly found a diamond in the rough.

If you have been to Fort Riley you know there really isn't much on the surface. But with a little digging you can find a hidden gem here and there. Honestly, I feel like I have struck it rich here. Sure there isn't any salt water fishing for me, but the community that surrounds the post is super fantastic.

There is something about exploring that just tickles my fancy. You know the exploring I am talking about, finding that hole in the wall restaurant with the best burger you ever had. Or that mom and pop grocery store that has the perfect tomato. Or the gas station that just once you told the clerk your name and even though you only stop in once a week, they warmly welcome you by it every time so you keep going back (even if it is 5 cents higher for gas there).

The great thing about the Army is even if you do find a post that just isn't "doing it" for you, soon enough you will move on. So I would challenge you, if you are at a place that just isn't quite the most idyllic post, dig. Dig some more, and find whatever hidden gems that are lying beneath the surface. then take that lump of coal you have been given and press it until you find that diamond.

When trying to figure out what is good about the post you are at, remember you are there. Your family is there. Maybe your spouse is deployed and you feel alone, but that post you are at is "home". And home is where the heart is.

Like Mama Mary says, "Make the most out of every place you go, you may never go back."

Note: See the posts we've reviewed on our Army Installations page, under the EMPOWER tab at ArmyWifeNetwork.com. Make your personal comments to fill in the blanks on those reviews, if you'd like. Email Wayne@armywifenetwork.com if you have suggestions and are willing to contribute for a future "Post with the Most" feature. Thank you!

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AWTR Show 328: The Magic of MealTrain

Presents Army Wife Talk Radio

Join the AWN team this week on Army Wife Talk Radio for an innovative way to organize your volunteer efforts – MealTrain. Meal Train is a free website that helps friends organize meal giving from friends around significant life events. Come learn how MealTrain works with founder Michael Laramee.

Resource of the Week: Challenge America

Click here to download the MP3

Visit Army Wife Network and Loving A Soldier Blog

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It would save me a lot of time if my supermarket had an aisle marked "unhealthy crap."

I always considered coupons to be a giant waste of time and paper. Why would I stress myself out over a 25¢ coupon for something I wasn’t going to buy anyway but feel compelled to buy because I have a coupon for it? Oh, yeah. I’m that person.

I’m in Korea, as I have mentioned approximately 3,281 times, and I joined a couponing group here. I didn’t know much about couponing when I signed up, but I was friends with the girl who ran the group. I figured why not? Save a quarter here and a dollar there. Works for me. As it turned out, we can use expired coupons since we are overseas. Not just expired, but six-months-post-expiration-date expired. I thought that was a pretty sweet deal. Later on, I found out she was getting the coupons from family, friends, and complete strangers who wanted to do something to help military families. I had no idea.

I attended a webinar hosted by Maggie L. through the Army Wife Network, which explained coupons and how they worked. Okay, I never really thought of myself as being someone who needed help with coupons. I mean, they are pretty easy, right? You get the coupon. You clip the coupon. You use the coupon. Done. Well, as it turns out, there is a lot more to it. There is “stockpiling” and Register Rewards, and blogs dedicated to price matching coupons. Holy moly. It was a lot of information, but it was all valuable information.

Since I attended the webinar, I've received tons of expired coupons from friends, including AWN’s Rebecca; I started getting really into it. I’ve been saving about 10% every commissary trip since I attended the webinar, and I even saved 48% on a trip to the PX once. It’s incredible how much money you can save if you know what you’re doing.

With that being said, OCONUS military families could really use your expired coupons. We don’t get pre-expiration date coupons here, and we could all really use the savings. I don’t know about other OCONUS locations, but living in a city like Seoul, we can use every penny – or won – we can get.

If you would like to donate your expired coupons, please visit http://www.coupsfortroops.com/ or “like” the Facebook page Coups for Troops. They are doing amazing work there and need your expired coupons. You can even make a donation to help pay for postage, if you were to be so inclined. There are also other organizations that need your expired coupons to send to military families overseas, like http://www.supportourtroops.org. Google it. A little bit goes a long way.

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It's my life too......

If you have been around an Army installation, either on the post itself or in the outlying communities, you have seen them. The Army wives who wear dangling earrings that say "Army Wife". Or the wife who proudly displays her role in the military with her clothing. Or the mom who carries around the ACU diaper bag or purse. Some of these ladies even have all of the above at any given time, which if you ask me may be going a little overboard when it's all mashed together, but still, I see no reason to mock them.

All I really have is a coffee cup that says "Proud Army Husband", a window cling on my car that says "Half my heart is in Afghanistan" and a yellow ribbon magnet that says "KEEP MOMMY SAFE". Would I have more trinkets if there were more things for Army MANspouses? Probably. Why? Because this is my life too.

I have heard numerous amounts of time that an Army spouse needs to have their own identity. I agree with that. Every individual regardless of their life circumstance needs to have their own identity, but this role of being an Army spouse isn't like most roles in life. The only occupation that comes to mind where a spouse is as much of a reflection of their spouse's career would be someone who is a pastor, priest, evangelist or a similar faith based occupation. One of the wisest things I have heard is "what we do as spouse's reflects on our soldiers". Take for example getting a speeding ticket on post. A friend of mine recently got one and the soldier asked about it before the spouse could say anything and fill the soldier in. If our homes aren't kept up when living on post or our kids are running-amuck, Chain of Command is worse than any homeowners association. A soldier can be down range and if the garbage cans are regularly left down by the curb too long, the soldier very well can be notified to inform their spouse back home to bring them up.

I am not trying to cast a negative shadow on the Army, what I am trying to convey is that every aspect of our life is pretty much enamored with what we do as a MILspouse, like our willingness to pack up and leave behind everything we find comfort in within a moments notice at times after just settling in; or our understanding that yes, mission does essentially come first most of the time; or our desire to rally around each other to be a rock, an ear or a friend to a complete stranger because only we REALLY know.

Most people can find a career and settle in to it. I am always amazed by the amount of professionals I meet that are willing to put off their own career aspirations for the love of their soldier spouse and country. I find it mind boggling when I meet a MILspouse who has multiple degrees and 5-10-20 years of teaching experience and the best job they can land is as a teachers aide. And yet they are willing to do it again in 3 years after finally filling an opening as a regular teacher in a school. Lots of people move because of their spouse's profession and have to start over, but definitely not at the rate some of us do.

Am I defined by my wife's occupation? Not at all. But I embrace the unique aspects this life offers me. What other job has a family support team(FRG)? None that I can think of.

What other job does a spouse have to sign a contract agreeing to take care of the children during their spouse's career? I know when my wife started working at Kohl's years ago I didn't but when she enlisted I did.

What other job offers a family to get so involved through volunteering to help others in the same boat?

What other job is their an emphasis on stress management, recreation and a list of other resources to cope with the daily grind of any given day?(If you don't think there is an emphasis on those things check with your ACS and just ask them how many different programs they offer in total)

No, I am not an individual based upon my wife's occupation. But I can be identified by it. I may not have dangling earrings or a dresser full of "Proud Army Wife" clothing, but I am as much a part of the military community as my wife is, just in my own unique way, because this IS my life too.

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Featured Fan Friday

 We love our fans and want you to love them too. So each Friday we're going to feature one of our Facebook ones. Grab a cup of coffee or tea and let's get to know each other!

Your Name: Amanda H

Tell us about your soldier & your family: Where are you from? Both my soldier and I are from Northern Alabama, as is our Pup. 

Where are you currently stationed? In between…We came from Ft. Bliss, Hubby has school at Ft Sam Houston, then Germany bound…so in between in my best answer.

Where have you been stationed prior? I have only been at Ft Bliss. Hubby has been in for seven years and we’ve only been married for 2 ½ .  

 Tell us three interesting things about you:

Hubby and I have been married twice, to each other. We married at 19 and 21, divorced less than three years later. Over five years went by, our paths crossed again, and here we are re-married almost three years.

This isn’t necessarily interesting but, I am an avid reader.

A lot of times I forget to think before the words come out of my mouth. For example, I am on a volunteer fire and rescue department when I am home…We were having a training session and all that was left was my best friend (who is male) and another member (who is also male). They asked me why I had re-pierced my tongue…My response “So I have something in my mouth to play with.” So usually when I forget to think it ends with some form of embarrassment on my part. 

What is your favorite color? Purple/Indigo

What is your favorite food? Milk

Do you have a battle buddy? Yes

If so, where did you meet them? I met her at Ft Bliss.

Tell us about him/her. We connected because of our situations both past and present: we were both from the South, involved with EMS/FF, Ft Bliss was our first duty station, newly married, both have PCOS, neither had children at the time. She is truly gullible, which makes for a lot of laughs. (I didn’t stay at Ft Bliss during deployment because of hip surgery that had to be performed, while she did and was pregnant) I cannot count how many times I called her making no sense because I was drunk and sad and she never judged me or even really said anything about it. She called me when she was having complications with her pregnancy and I promise if I had not just had hip surgery and couldn’t move really I would have been on a plane faster than a blink of an eye. It physically hurt that I could not be there for her in such a scary situation. She’s the first one that I want to tell when I have good news or even bad for that matter, and I know the feeling is mutual. Her little girl is my “niece” and I love her like my own niece. She PCSed before we did and it hurt for both of us, however we are only going to be a few hours away from each other OCONUS. I know how lucky I am to have her in my life and as my Battle! 

What is your passion? Helping others…whether it is helping them medically (at home) or giving them resources so they can help themselves…that is what makes my heart all warm and fuzzy =). 

Do you have a quote you live by or just love? I am a quote junky! I do not have just one really I usually find one that pertains to my state of being at the time or the subject of the quote. But since I have to pick one…

If so, what is it? “Science has not yet taught us if madness is or is not the sublimity of the intelligence.” ~Edgar Allan Poe   Ok I lied I can’t pick just one so here is another. “Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.” ~Anais Nin

How did you learn about AWN? Facebook…um it is too long ago to remember from which page though.

 What is your favorite AWN resource: The Empower section and I have to say the “You know you’re an Army Wife When”

Why do you think AWN is important to Army wives? It is yet another way to connect, share, and gain information. Most of the time I turn to sites like AWN to gain knowledge.

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Another Journey Begins

So, as I sit here thinking, there are so many thoughts going through my mind that it's hard to concentrate. Don't you hate when there are so many in your head but trying to articulate them is very difficult? Well, that's where I am but I will try.

Today is a day of many emotions. My youngest child Connor, my only son, the absolute most beautiful boy I know is starting his first day of his senior year in high school. I very specifically remember sitting in the back seat with him on the ride home from the hospital. As I looked at that 9 lb., 2 oz, blond-haired, blue-eyed little boy, I don't think I could have ever imagined him growing up and one day "leaving the nest". Oh, I know he's not gone yet but both feet are out the door ready to run! Unless he continues to play soccer and/or football in his college years, gone will be the days of watching an incredible corner kick from the soccer pitch or the winning field goal on the football field.
Even though I don't wish growing up quickly for any child, my 19-month old grandson, Landon Connor, better get busy with that soccer ball!

Additionally, this is my husband's first day being off active duty orders! He is a Reservist that has been activated and deployed the last 2 years to attend multiple schools, been on the trail at Ft. Benning, GA for a year as a Drill Sergeant and was recently an instructor at Ft. Knox, KY. During this whole time, we were never authorized to accompany him. So, while I have been holding down the fort at home, working a full-time job, and burning the highways up every single chance I had, it is all coming to a screeching halt! No shopping at the commissary and PX on the weekends, no taking advantage of all the facilities and things to do on post, but most importantly and one of the hardest things is not being in the military environment day after day. We LOVE being part of the military community. Unfortunately, we live about 50 miles from the nearest post.

But, more than all of that, my husband's employment is coming to a screaming, screeching, oh crap hang on, kind of halt. Before his activation, he unfortunately was in the situation way too many people are in with being laid-off. So, for us his activation was a positive thing in more ways than one. Yes, we have been preparing for this, yes, he has registered with umpteen websites, applying for jobs, yes, he has been networking and following up with leads from this person and that person - but nothing, absolutely nothing has come to fruition yet. I keep encouraging and thinking positive thoughts that something will come through. Soon.

So even though my life and emotions are in a bit of a tizzy right now, I know I will still receive the care and support from my family, friends, and wonderful people like you through Army Wife Network. We may be going back to a Reservist lifestyle but the military life is still in our blood daily. And as Brent and I say to each other, "It's you and me first, then everything else", we know everything will work out and our next journey will begin.

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"Conversations" (for military families on The Washington Post)

There is a live series on The Washington Post where military families can get their questions answered.
About every other Wednesday, Stephanie Himel-Nelson the communications director for Blue Star Families, a national nonprofit supporting military families, and a guest co-host answer questions to do with "The Mil Life."

Previous topics can be viewed here:

Military Families & Spouses: Education & Careers
http://live.washingtonpost.com/military-families-spouses-education-and-careers.html

Military Children & Education
http://live.washingtonpost.com/the-mil-life-07-20-11-military-children-education.html

With Army Wife Network co-founder, Starlett Henderson: Surviving Deployment
http://live.washingtonpost.com/the-mil-life-07-27-11-surviving-deployment.html

Today at 12pm EST, there is another one: Are military kids thriving or just surviving?
http://live.washingtonpost.com/the-mil-life-0810.html

Ask questions, get advice, share your own experience and weigh in on this military topic!

There are several ways you can follow along.

Blue Star Families' facebook page will announce future sessions: http://www.facebook.com/BlueStarFamilies
Washington Post Live has a twitter feed and hashtag: @postlive with the hastag #wpchat.

Remember too though, if you have a question, you can ask our 30,000+ fans on Army Wife Network's facebook fan page: www.facebook.com/armywifenetwork.

Or submit your question, aka "FIELD PROBLEM," at ArmyWifeNetwork.com:
http://www.armywifenetwork.com/?page_id=199.

There are spouses and families who have been gone before you. We hope connecting with them (and by asking questions), you can see a bit of light on your own path.

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Tyler, you are by far the most interesting single-serving friend I've ever met.

Have you ever noticed how there are some people who you would never be friends with under “normal” circumstances? As an Army wife, I am sure more than one of you can relate to this. At least one of you. Come on. I sound like a cold hearted b… there you go! There’s one!

In our last duty station, I didn’t even know who my neighbors were, and we lived on post. There was no urgency in getting to know anyone. I never shopped at the commissary or at the PX. We went to Walmart and Target for pretty much everything we needed; only being on post on the weekends to sleep or clean.

Being in Korea – or overseas, in general – we, military families, seem to be closer to each other than we are stateside. I think it’s because stateside, we have options. That sounds crude, but it’s an honest assessment. Whenever I go out and happen to walk by someone who appears to be American here, I get excited and fight the urge to introduce myself. And if you know anything about me, you’d know I’m not exactly one to just introduce myself to people. I keep to myself for the most part, which makes for an interesting FRG leader. Go PIONEERS! (On a side note, I did just become the FRG leader for my husband’s company. I’ve been to one FRG meeting in our Army wife “career,” and it’s not due to lack of interest on my part. Once I start exercising my FRG leader role, I’ll be sure to bore you with the adventures that follow.) There is more of a sense of community overseas, and I think it’s because we have the mentality, “We’re all we’ve got.”

I love living in Seoul. The Koreans are warm and friendly people. However, there is something to be said for being surrounded by “your own.” Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about going back to the states to visit my husband’s family DC and my friends in New York, because I miss the creature comforts America provides. If that flight wasn’t 17 hours just to get to Seattle, I would totally consider it. But. With a two-year-old who has a penchant for screaming at the top of his lungs and crying uncontrollably on airplanes, I think I’ll pass. We’ll PCS soon enough, and then I’ll HAVE to deal with the screaming and crying. Until then, I’ll just put a pin in that idea.

Get to know your neighbors. Bake them some cupcakes, go next door, and introduce yourself. What’s the worst that can happen? They think you’re a nut with too much time on your hands? Their loss. You may not be the best of friends; they may just be a single-serving friend; but how would you know unless you go over there?

I met my friend Kristine B. when we were training to be FCC (Family Child Care) providers. (Oy, vey. That was an experience.) She seemed really cool, and I wanted to get to know her. Thinking back to high school, I was trying to figure out how to approach her and basically say, “Be my friend,” without being a weirdo. So, I called her, asking her for homework help. Really. Because I’m 14 years old. From there, she was my rock at Fort Rucker. I’m glad I extended myself and took a chance, because it was totally worth it.

Well? Start baking! And if you’re overseas like me, you don’t have any excuse. You can bake some cupcakes for your neighbor, too! If they don’t speak English, you can always play charades. I’m sure there’s some sort of hand signal for: “I am new to your country, and I just wanted to bring you some cupcakes and introduce myself and my family. My name is ____ and this is my son/daughter ____ and my husband ____. It is very nice to meet you.”

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My first goodbye....

It's pretty much inevitable that during our lives either friends will move away from us or we will move away from them, especially when we are children. As adults we tend to become more accustomed to handling it. We've done it before, we can do it again. But sometimes, there are certain people that move out of our lives that makes it just a tad bit harder to get over because of the bonds we have created by "doing life" with that person for "X" amount of time.

As military families we may just have to say farewell more frequently than most. And sometimes the chiao's are harder than others. One of the best attributes about being a military family is the unique family we are as a whole. So it doesn't matter if you connect with someone for 3 months or 3 years, there is something about waving aloha to someone who knows. Someone who knows you, your tears, your pain, your triumphs and all that makes us who we are.

At 32 years old I have had my share of adios'. Entering this life as a military spouse at 31 years old and growing up in the same small tight knit community for over 20 years, I had plenty of experience when I left what we knew as home with saying hasta la vista.

If you aren't familiar with my personal blog (TheArmyWifeDUDE@blogspot.com) then you may not be aware of the challenges I have had creating any meaningful friendships in this life. I have many people I can call friend, but not that unique bond that would really make me sad to see someone go. Well at least I thought so up until tonight.

Tonight I said goodbye to my friends Mike and Kristen and their children Paul and Sarah. After 8 years Mike is getting out of the Army. It's a bittersweet moment for their family as they begin to chart a new life for themselves, but saying bon voyage was kind of hard. In the last several months I had their kids spend the night several times either to give them a night out or to spend the night with my oldest son once he got here this summer. I was blessed to have all of them part of my life(The kids even called me Uncle Wayne because they have an Uncle Dwayne and get confused). Our friendship was not because I connected with either Mike or Kristen since we arrived here at Fort Riley, but because of the bond Kristen and I shared. A bond that goes back a decade.

Kristen and I worked together many moons ago and ran with the same crowd at times. When I decided to move to my wife's AIT location in San Antonio, Kristen called her sister-in-law who lived there to see if she would watch my dog while me and the boys attended my wife's graduation from Basic Training.

When orders came down that we were heading to Fort Riley I of course posted it on facebook and within minutes Kristen said "see you soon". So as soon as we got here I was blessed to have a piece of home here. I was able to walk into having what feels like family. I had someone who when I needed to go to the ER dropped everything she was doing to come watch our baby. I had someone when my wife deployed who knew what I was going through, knew me and knew how desperately I needed to get out on occasion and would volunteer to babysit for me. I had a true friend that I didn't always have to put a happy face on for like we do with acquaintances in our lives.

For me I struggle connecting with many folks because I don't have many peers. So having this family here definitely made the transition immensely easier. Anyone who has been a MILspouse for any amount of time knows what I am talking about when you connect with someone at a post/base. You know exactly what I mean when after a brief time you have to say arrivederci and it stings a little.

I hear the expression about the "3 year itch often". For a military family to stay in any place longer than 3 years is rare from what I understand. So we learn all sorts of ways to say goodbye. But something we as military families is we try not to use the word goodbye. With the way things work we may just end up crossing paths again. So instead we say see ya later.

My story should have a pretty happy ending. The career path my wife is seeking will lead us back to San Antonio for a couple years of training. Sure I will have a decent network of people who know "OF" me, but only one family will actually KNOW me. That will be Mike and Kristen who once again will be there since that is where they are starting out their new life. So in good ol' military fashion, it should be a truly see ya later rather than goodbye.

The purpose of this blog was written so I can share this: When I write my personal blog I end it with a song typically. A song that I try to fit to what I had just written. The song I would use for this blog would be "Friends" by Micheal W. Smith. I would encourage all of you reading this to google that song. Take a good listen. Then click on the share button and select FACEBOOK as to how you want to share it. After posting it go to the comment section and start tagging any of your friends who you have had to say goodbye to. Friends really are friends forever when they are anointed from the Lord above. And as military families we are blessed regularly to have such friends in our lives. So let someone know that though you have parted ways that they are close to your heart and you are thankful to have shared part of your life with them.

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Trying to Find My Way

As I continue along our recruiting journey, I am definitely overwhelmed by how much I miss being at a military installation. I had no idea that it would be as hard to adjust as it has been. I mean don’t get me wrong, I am taking it in stride and I realize it will take more time than just 2 and a half months to adjust to being away from the military community. I thought it would be easier but after spending 14 years surrounded by all that is military, it is not easier by any means.

I miss being surrounded by other military spouses and being able to get together for coffee or have play dates with our kids and talk about everything. I am meeting some great people in our new city but it is different. I think it is that secret connection that military spouses have with one another, being able to share a world that many are not aware of. We have our own sort of language at times and we can understand what each other is going through.

I most definitely miss the commissary. I am always reminded of that phrase, “you don’t know what you have until it is gone”. Who knew how much money I was saving by shopping on-post. I most definitely realize it now, lol. Thank goodness for AWN’s coupon seminar with Maggie Leung – she has turned me into a new extreme couponer and that is helping me a lot to combat these outrageous prices. If you get the opportunity to take her couponing webinar I would definitely recommend it!

I am lost without my ACS! I miss teaching my AFTB classes and participating in AFAP – of course recruiting has given me a host of things to bring up that will make good issues for AFAP. I am working on a project here that would offer AFTB classes to new spouses whose husbands or wives join the Army. I think it is definitely something that is needed. I miss being able to walk into ACS and volunteer! If you are able to spare time – I would highly recommend volunteering at your local ACS. It is a great way to make new friends and is just an overall great experience!

Through this experience thus far, I am grateful for two things, Facebook and Army Wife Network. This is what has truly kept me connected to the military community and all my wonderful battle buddies. With their help I know I will make it through this and all my Army Wife Life journeys that lie ahead of me!

Thanks,

Janet

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AWTR Show 327: Music Behind Lifetime Army Wives

Presents Army Wife Talk Radio

Join the AWN team this week on Army Wife Talk Radio for an interesting look inside Lifetime Army Wives. We have the team of music composer for all five seasons of the show – Fantinis & Gordon.

Resource of the Week: VFW National Home for Children

Click here to download the MP3

Visit Army Wife Network and Loving A Soldier Blog

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It's not the same for everyone

Sometimes I wonder if all this social networking has a negative effect on our military community. To be more specific, if it gives us a false belief in what to expect from "our" spouse while they are deployed.

Up until this new century it is my understanding getting a phone call from our deployed spouse was rare, yet a very welcomed treat(but could hit the wallet pretty hard). Today with social networking as what it has become we are given the pleasure of being in contact with our spouse on at least a semi regular basis. While emails were used in the previous two decades, not everyone used computers then. Let alone had a smart phone attached to their ear to get a yahoo messenger notification, facebook message, email or any other form of way to stay connected.

As I travel around the cyber world that is part of my daily life now I am witness to lots of happy people who proudly share how their day was lifted up by a simple phone call from their deployed spouse. We hear about Skype calls as though they are regular and everyone is doing it. But the truth of the matter is not everyone who is deployed to Iraq or Afghanistan has the opportunity to utilize the computers and modern technology.

When my wife deployed I was kind of under the assumption I would reap the same benefits I hear so many others speak of. I thought we would have regular Skype dates and phone conversations like I was hearing so many others had. But with the area she was in both were not readily available.

Skype conversations were completely unavailable due to the remote location she was in. Phone conversations were few and far between because the entire VOS(mini FOB) had a approxiamately two phones to use between the 50 or so soldiers on the outpost. Yet I was reading about folks who had internet in their rooms, who had specific times they expected a phone call or had "chat dates" with their spouse. I even hear about some soldiers who have cell phones in which they can call home pretty much any time they want.

Often times I found myself getting frustrated with the meager amount of communication I was having with my wife while others could count on regular contact. I would get frustrated until I would see a post from another who was getting even less than me.

One of my "friends" on facebook was lucky if she got contact with her husband every 2-3 weeks. And by contact I don't mean a lengthy call. I mean a brief 5 minute static filled broken line that dropped calls randomly. I can vaguely remember a period where she went almost 5 weeks without any kind of word from him due to the extremely remote area he was in. It was through her status updates that I would be brought back to reality and learn to gain appreciation for whatever I was fortunate to get.

It's been a learning process throughout this deployment. One of the biggest lessons I am learning is just because one person has one thing while deployed doesn't mean everyone does. Some have hot showers, some have water bottles to bathe with. Some have Internet in their rooms with XBOX live, some have scorpions that provide them with their only entertainment. Some get lengthy Skype dates where the kids can see mommy or daddy, some have only a broken static filled line that comes and goes literally with the suns movement.

The point of this blog is to remind us that not everyone has it the same. Our soldiers don't all have it the same, neither do we who are left behind. Whatever the case though, I don't think anyone can disagree that what we have today is far better than what they had a decade ago. Let alone 2, 3 or 4 decades ago. I couldn't imagine having to rely on snail mail as my only method of communication. And from what I hear, I should count my lucky stars(or my nickles and dimes) that I don't get a $300 phone bill from a collect call as that used to be the only way to call home.

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Never Moving Again...

Okay, my husband and I decided we will move again, but not without the Army moving us. Last week, we returned from our week long honeymoon to moving out of the “bachelor house” to our new home the next day. I expected to come home to boxes already packed and house cleaned. Boy, was I dreaming. We got home from the airport at 10 pm Saturday night to a dirty house. When I say dirty, I mean it probably was a relative of the dump, like I said previously…bachelor house. For the next 48 hours, my husband and even my mother-in-law slept 5 hours total. We cleaned until our hands were raw. On top of which I have to brag that I got out a 7 month old HOT CHOCOLATE STAIN. It took me forever and I am sure my husband learned my new ideas of what a REAL clean house looked liked. I even planted and gardened my first front yard and even moved endless boxes. Thank you to my father-in-law for helping my husband move the big boxes that I couldn’t lift. So my advice to you ladies is never offer to help your husband clean a bachelor house that three boys used to live in. Even though I am supposed to get a spa day, it is not worth it! Next time I will just buy pizza and beer for the movers and watch as they pack up and move my stuff for me!

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Keep On the Sunny Side

I'll admit it~I am one of those moms who force strange music on my children. Perhaps not strange in the sense that the kids are familiar with Latvian folk tunes, but definitely out of the mainstream of today's music. Currently, Izzy and Bullet's favorite CD is the soundtrack to "Oh, Brother, Where Art Thou?" Hooray for bluegrass! And we have listened to "Keep on the Sunny Side" more times than I care to mention.



With Big Sarge away for another 8 months, it seems hard to keep on the sunny side. But when I do, it makes a difference, not only with me, but also with the girls. When Momma's happy, everybody's happy. So in that spirit, this blog post is going to list some ways I have kept on the sunny side.


~I didn't get pulled over while driving Big Sarge's truck even though the plates had expired. 8 months ago. *



~I didn't have to stage a sit-in protest in front of S-4, the Department of Public Works building, or the Commanding General's residence in order to get signs put up for the deployed units. Though I was tempted.



~The sewage tsunami was on the OUTSIDE of the house, rather than on the interior.



~Bullet seems to have learned some new words, words other than a loud, resounding "NO!" She even asked the nice lady at the day care to draw a picture. Of a 'killing machine'.




~Since Big Sarge is in the 'Stan, he can't get arrested for not paying the back taxes on his truck. Thanks for the 'we break thumbs' letter in the mail, though, DMV!*




~"Skeevy Stevie" finally stopped texting me asking for pictures after I told him that Big Sarge can see my text messages online. A little white lie in a good cause.




~Also since Big Sarge is away, my creative muse has free rein in the house. Translation- I can leave my fabric-cutting table set up in the den for days and no one will complain about it. And I'm thinking of painting the dining room a lovely shade of claret.




~Izzy's new favorite hobby is doing laundry rather than 'painting' the walls with markers. 'Washable', my Aunt Fanny, Crayola.




~The heat here in Georgia is....The good thing about the heat is....Okay, I've got nothing good to say about the heat. I'm an Army wife, not a saint.



*in the interest of full disclosure, I did renew the license plates and pay the back taxes on Big Sarge's truck.





So how do you all keep on the sunny side?

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Life is what we make it...

Every once and awhile it's empowering to stop and take stock of where you are on this military journey. Ten, even five years from now you might look back and be somewhere completely different than where you expected or even planned you'd be. I know I definitely am...

I was the career girl when we started this journey. Kevin joined the Army out of ROTC. We are both from Springfield, MO. We were high school - though not the same one - sweethearts. We attended the same college - only he graduated and I took my dear sweet time. While he finished school I went to work full-time and let college take a part-time back seat. We married, he commissioned, and he announced we were moving to Fort Hood, Texas. At that point in my life - and still today - this ride was the ultimate adventure. So, I told my company I'd need a transfer and they found me a job in Austin, Texas. Kevin had to attend school in Fort Sill, OK and so I moved on down to Fort Hood and set up our life. It was an easy life (except the 1 hour drive I made to and from work each day to Austin - yuck!) with two full time paychecks and no children. I was full time career girl going gangbusters moving up the ladder. I traveled all over the US as a training manager. I didn't have time to miss my husband. Quite frankly, I hadn't had time to know what I was missing. We were apart more than we were together. I was recruited by another company moved to Temple, TX to run a store, then on to Killeen, TX and Kevin joined me at our first duty station.

I'll never forget the day he introduced me to the "Army". Now, I'd been to see him at school at Fort Sill but it was just on the weekends. I knew what the post looked like there and at Hood as I drove past the gate every morning on my way to work. But, I'd never visited the commissary, I'd been in one PX, and I didn't socialize with ANYONE at Hood. I had my own group of work friends I stuck pretty close to and none of them were military or even understood our (what I now know as crazy) life.

His introduction to me was "we have an event and you need to be there - it's at 5pm". Now, remember, I'm a working girl - 5pm with a 1 hour drive home - wasn't going to happen. Fast forward to the phone call - you know, the FRG type - I answer and she promptly goes through her spiel of her name, that she is my leader, what I needed to bring, and that the meeting was "mandatory". I went into a tizzy! Who did she think she was telling me she was my leader? What the heck does she think I'm Betty Crocker? And who makes things MANDATORY for spouses? What the HECK IS THIS ARMY THINKING anyway? Kevin got an ear full. Oh, he tried to explain ...but I wasn't having any of that. I eventually came around. I found a battle buddy, attended social functions, and decided this was an "ok" life. But, I must admit I spent the next four years of my life subliminally convincing this man that he needed to get out of the military and find another job.

I remember the day that he was making the decision to "stay or go" - basically whether to drop papers or go on to Captain's Career Course. I begged him - let's blow this joint! But, he chose to stay and I supported his decision. But I told him that if he chose this life then that was that and we were doing this. I left my career in retail, finished my degree, and we welcomed our first baby girl. Then came September 11th. Everything changed that day - our Nation, our lives, our military journey. I don't think we knew what was going to change but we knew that we signed on for more than we actually thought would ever happen - we signed up for war.

We left Fort Hood for Fort Sill, Sill for Korea, and Korea for Fort Stewart so the war was well underway before Kevin spent any time deployed. Our family grew from one to two girls and added a few pets too. Our military journey was also well underway before I decided to log in to this life and participate. Man, if I knew then what I know now.

You'd NEVER be able to convince the girl who hung up on the FRG leader that day at Fort Hood - you know the career girl - that she'd be called "Oprah of the Armed Forces" by Katie Couric due to her radio show Army Wife Talk Radio. That she would be running a network of 31,000+ called Army Wife Network. That she and her battle buddy would be traveling the Nation delivering conferences and writing columns. That she'd be taking a job with USAA to run their military spouse forums. That she'd care enough about this journey and Army families to delve into volunteering on her local installation- or that she'd even be so amazingly fulfilled from work with no pay. Most of all you'd NEVER have been able to convince her that in less than ten years she'd be an author of a book where she celebrated 1001 Things To Love About Military Life. 

There's just no way. 


Look around you and embrace what today brings and know that you're exactly where you're supposed to be today. Celebrate that - even if it means you're struggling - celebrate the lesson you're learning from your situation. Realize if you don't fall you can't get up. If you don't make mistakes you weren't even trying.

I don't know what you're doing right now. I don't know what you love. I won't even pretend to know what fulfills you. But sometimes, neither do you. Sometimes, when we're lucky, our passion finds us but we have to be open enough to accept it.

Life is what we make it, always has been, always will be.  ~Grandma Moses

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4th of July Photo Challenge Winners!

We had some wonderful submissions for AWN's 4th of July Photo Challenge! You can check out those submissions by checking out the comments on this post.

The three finalists selected by the Army Wife Network team are:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/mrswbbrewer/5910509233/

And the winner is:

 This lovely photo was the unanimous choice of the AWN team! What a wonderful 4th of July memory. 

Keep an eye out for our August photo challenge: "Summer's End"!

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AWTR Show 326: National Work At Home Month

Presents Army Wife Talk Radio

Join the AWN team this week on Army Wife Talk Radio for National Work At Home Month. We’re kicking it off with our favorite WAHM guru Kelly McCausey. Resource of the Week: 

Resource of the Week: Letters From Hom

Click here to download the MP3

Visit Army Wife Network and Loving A Soldier Blog

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The Grass is Always Greener...

      I can remember this saying as a kid, spoken when I wished for what someone else had or when I thought other people had it better than I did. I was reminded again of this saying recently when my husband was home for his R&R. We decided to meet on the East Coast for his time back in the States, rather than at home, so that we both could have a much deserved vacation. We location-hopped every few days in order to visit various places that we had wanted to visit. One of the locations, Onslow Beach, was suggested by a friend whose husband is an Air Force Pilot. Onslow Beach is a military recreation area, located at Camp Lejeune in North Carolina, that is for military families and their guests only. It was small, laid back, and had stretches of beautiful, uncrowded beaches...just what we were looking for! The simplicity of the lodges and the family-friendly feel added to its charm. But the best part about it for me was actually being on a base. While this may not seem like a big deal to many people, to me as a National Guard spouse who doesn't live anywhere close to a base and all its facilities, this was definitely greener grass. The Base activities, the movie theater, the HUGE commissary and Post Exchange (PX)- I was just in awe. The closest PX to us is about and hour away and is the size of a Walgreens. The scenery on base was way more interesting than we have at home too...tank crossings, firing ranges - you don't see that kind of thing every day!
      While there were many reasons that I enjoyed being on base, I think the most appealing aspect was the feeling of belonging. The sense of community. American flags and yellow ribbons were everywhere. Men and women were dressed in uniform and no one stared. Being in the military was normal there. At home, if I mention that my husband is in the Army (or even dare to mention that he is deployed), I get the typical questions and comments, or worse...the pity looks. On the base I just felt comfortable. And the idea of living on the same street as other military families, who understand what our life is like, it just seemed perfect. In that moment, I wanted to stay on that base forever (never mind the fact that we were on a Marine base and we are Army). I wanted to be a part of that.
       But in all honesty, my only experiences having been as a National Guard family, I don't know what full-time Army life is really like. I've never experienced moving every three years, leaving friends and a home behind only to have to start all over again. I've never experienced base housing or any other aspect of life on a military base. I've only had my few, limited glimpses from the outside. And I'm sure there are some out there who would disagree with me and think that the grass is greener on my side of the fence. So I'll be grateful for what I have and for where I am. I'm grateful for my weekend on base and the sense of belonging it gave me, even if it was for only a short while. And I'll continue to water my grass where it is planted, because in truth, it really is pretty green...

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