AWN Book Club Review- ALICE BLISS

If you have begun to read this post, and have not yet read this book, I will be here when you get back but first, open up a new page by clicking on this nice little book link to the left and order it, go to your library and request it (but you will end up wanting to have it on hand anyway for keeps) or download it to your fun little technological reading machines.

 I want you to know that I do not get paid to do this book club, nor do I get any benefit from my book reviews, so I am completely honest, I won't tell you to go out and purchase something if I think it should be in yesterdays trash....so when one like this comes along and I say read it...I mean that you will be missing out on a little treasure if you don't. I simply love reading, and do lots of it, and dearest Ms. Harrington, you have absolutely knocked this one out of the park. Congratulations.

This is a story about a young middle school aged girl, who has a daddy that deploys with the Guard, a younger sister and a mom that goes a little off the rocker trying to adjust to life without her spouse. (I think we have all had those moments...) so she finds herself trying to tackle her coming of age and keeping a family afloat all while juggling the emotions of her daddy, her hero being gone. It is a very honest portrayal of the views from a childs eyes, one that I myself have often forgotten to consider at times. My favorite thing about it is that if it were not for a few references like IPODS and certain cars, this book could have perfectly taken place 50 years ago, or in todays day. It was wonderfully detailed and painted one of the clearest pictures yet.

Here's the next best part. It does not matter if you were a military child, parent, or have absolutely no military affiliation...any person that has a relationship with their father or has gone thru those awkward early teen years can find worlds of appreciation here. (And in my case, a few walks down memory lane, and an instant need to strengthen the relationship with my own dad and call just to say I love you)

There were crushes, crazy family members, raw emotion and all the other things you need for a great page turner. After I had already begun the book, I was pleased to learn that though it has just come out this Summer, it earned rave reviews from many places including PEOPLE magazine. (And now, Army Wife Network!)

My reading it as an Army wife had me relating to Mrs. Bliss, however, it also tugged me back to my youth at the same time. There are the staples that would have anyone reaching for the tissues, and then some details that maybe only us military spouses might tear up at.....then again during deployment, I could tear up at spilled milk (don't cry over spilled milk.....yeah right, talk to someone enduring deployment when emotions are at a high point and tears flow at the most random times). This is overall, the tale or a father and daughter and their love and respect for one another.

I feel comfortable saying that this has been one of the best books I have read this year and I will sing its praises. I am warning you, shocker, do not have any mascara on because there are times where you will find yourself misting up...at least I did. I am so thankful that I had the chance to read it before many people did, and I hope so much that you will add this one to your collection, you may go back to it in a few years and read it with a totally different viewpoint then you do right now or you may lend it to an Army sister/brother that you meet along your journey.

I look very forward to hearing about your opinions of this one....

Happy Reading!

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Military Spouse Oath of Commitment

I wondered recently how many spouses have read or asked about the promise our Soldiers have to make in order to join/rejoin the Army. To hear my husband tell it, there's a lot of weight in those words. (I remember; I recited them once too.) We both did not want to flub them, and they were not taken lighly by anyone we knew. They're on par with marraige vows in my opinion. All your earnestness is behind both.

What a commitment--the military life, splitting hairs between the military and the rest of your life.

So, I thought (for those who don't know the Oath), it'd be good to read and ponder it.

ARMED FORCES OATH OF ENLISTMENT
I, (NAME), do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and

 defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies,

foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to

the same; and that I will obey the orders of the President of the

United States and the orders of the officers appointed over me,

according to regulations and the Uniform Code of Military Justice.

So help me God.
 
The emphasis is mine. This promise is that "blank check" you might have heard people talk about:
A veteran is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to 'The United States of America ' for an amount of 'up to and including my life.’

More and more, there's a sense that what is included in that "life" is a spouse, a family, a community. A Soldier doesn't stand alone. They're committing themselves and who or what makes them "them." We (the spouse, the family, the community) are called upon to back that check and are invested in that Soldier. So, I wanted to put that into words. But, how? What would that level of commitment sound like? If I was called to swear an oath or make a promise to my Soldier, what would it include?

Here's an attempt:

MILITARY SPOUSES OATH OF COMMITMENT
I, (NAME), do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and

care for the incredible Soldier I believe in commiting all that I am,

completely and freely; that I will stand by his side and boost his morale;

and that I will be candid and honest but check my attitude when he

needs my aid remembering we are on the same team through it all,

according to my marriage vows and the best life-path

we hope to have for each other.

So help me God.

That's just one attempt. It means something to me, to be able to verbalize to my Soldier that we're on the same team, that I "get" the level of commitment needed, and I understand the value of renewing that promise every now and again. I want him to know that I'm committed too. "We serve too!"

I know families (wives mainly) who struggle with feeling like "second fiddle." So there's a conversation to be had, if that's the case. Steer the conversation towards what you are willing to do to make this military life work. Talk about marriage vows, enlistment oaths, and EXPECTATIONS, especially if all this is new to you. You may end up getting to areas on which you may have to agree to disagree, but having the conversation is a start. And, that conversation can extend to your battle buddies too. How do they balance the military and married life?

Writing your own oath with your ideas might be a good exercise to explore how you feel. I'd love if you share a few or reasons why the process might be hard for you.

Remember, the object is to love the Soldier, even if you don't love the Life.
That can (and probably will) come later.

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Ugh.

Ugh.

It has officially been a day since we dropped my husband off and said our goodbyes.

I’m not going to lie, I cried like a baby. I don’t know what came over me, I’m usually more composed and more aware of the people around me, but I just lost it. It broke my heart watching him say goodbye to our children. Then it broke my heart again as I clung to him during our final moments together. Then my heart slowly kept breaking during the 25 minute drive home.

Today has been better than I thought it would be though.



Our son is testing his limits right on schedule as he usually does when my husband leaves for an extended period of time, so I’m trying to stand my ground and maintain discipline and stability as good as I can. It’s so hard though, knowing his little heart is hurting as much as mine.

Our daughter has been her same ol’ self besides when it comes to bedtime and she refuses to let go of the recordable story book my husband recorded on for her and her brother. I really need to send him a few more to record for backups. She has played this book over and over again that it’s stalling and skipping pages already!

All in all, the emotional exhaustion and the cycle that the kids and I are going through right now, isn’t the ideal situation to be in, but I’m thankful for it because that means in a way that a lot of other military families understand, that we will be okay. These months will go by faster than we know it and when Homecoming gets here, we will link and be like, “Where did the time go?”

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Debt Ceiling Crisis: How USAA Is Prepared Help Members

Should the federal government not reach an agreement by Aug. 2 to raise the debt ceiling — and therefore not be able to pay its bills — USAA has solutions in place to help our members who might not get the federal pay and benefits they need to meet their daily obligations. Here's how we are prepared to help members who are impacted and request assistance. 

Who?	How We Can Help
Active-duty military personnel, including activated Guard & Reserves	Temporary Payroll Advance Program to eligible members serving on active duty, including those actively serving in the Guard and Reserve, who have their existing DFAS payroll deposited into a USAA checking or savings account. This is a one-time loan for payroll scheduled for deposit on Aug. 15. Waive property and casualty insurance policy late fees or bank nonsufficient fund fees and suspend nonpayment cancellations for members who are on active duty, including those actively serving the Guard and Reserve, for 30 days where legally permitt
Other members who receive government payments1	Special payment arrangements, which could include skipping a payment, on some bank products.      Refunds of fees for nonsufficient funds and overdrafts on USAA Bank products.      Waiver of credit card late fees.      Lines of credit increases.      Waivers of certain investment administrative fees.      Billing arrangements for life insurance products.

"Rest assured, USAA has continued to manage its financial resources to meet our commitments to members in their moments of need," said CEO Joe Robles. "We are also well prepared to assist our members affected by this situation — particularly military members and others who might not get the pay and benefits they need to manage their daily lives."

6 Must-Do Tips to Help Prepare — Just in Case...

In addition to the ways USAA can help you, there are things you can do now should the Aug. 2 deadline pass with no resolution. Here are six must-do tips:

1. Set up overdraft protection. This will help you avoid having your account become overdrawn or fall below its minimum balance.
2. Stash cash. Start looking now for ways to make easy changes in your lifestyle that will yield an additional $20, $50 or $100.
3. Create a spending plan. Stick to the necessities, postpone major purchases and determine what your bare-bones requirements are.
4. Be proactive. Contact your lenders, utility providers and other service providers so they understand your situation and may be flexible and provide alternative payment options.
5. Stay your investment course. These are financially uncertain times but it's still important to consider long-term financial goals versus impulsive reactions based on immediate market conditions. USAA members are encouraged to call our professional financial advisors to review long-term financial goals to help them prepare for the
   future.
6. Review your portfolio.Talk to a financial advisor to ensure your savings and investments reflect your goals. In volatile times associated with events like this, it's critical to ensure your investments are in line with the timeframe of your goals. 

Still have questions? We have answers. Read these Frequently Asked Questions.

Check out the Treasury Department's Debt Limit: Myth v. Fact. 

Call USAA at 1-800-531-8722

What is a debt ceiling?

Also known as the debt limit, the debt ceiling is the amount of gross debt the federal government is authorized to have. The current limit is $14.3 trillion, which the government reached on May 16, 2011, causing Treasury officials to utilize special strategies to handle cash and debt management responsibilities to avoid a default.

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AWTR Show 325: LIFT, Link, Love

Presents Army Wife Talk Radio

Join the AWN team this week on Army Wife Talk Radio for a conversation with LIFT Link Love. This is an amazing project from creators– and military spouses – Kristen Tsetsi & Tera Kijek.

Resource of the Week: Enlisted Spouse Training Series with Lisa Coller

Click here to download the MP3


Visit Army Wife Network and Loving A Soldier Blog!

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Running Injuries and Interviews

For those who don't know, I'm a certified music teacher. I love teaching the elementary age - they are SUCH fun! Last school year, I was a long term sub for more than half the year in a local district. I loved EVERY minute of it. I learned a lot and gained a lot of experience. In the state of OH, schools are funded based on tax levies that pass/fail. It's a crazy situation. The district I was in at the time put a levy on the ballot, and it failed. What did this mean for me? Well, they cut ALL elementary specials (Gym, Music, Art, and Library), they are going to state minimum school days of 5.5 hours, state minimum busing (no Jr. or Sr. high busing and if you live within 2 miles of your elementary school, then you don't get busing either), the buildings will be locked 30 minutes after school is dismissed, which means, no after school programs/activities, and sports/extracurricular are pay-to-pay at $495 per child per activity. The teacher I was the long term sub for had up and moved to another state, which is how I got my position. I had hoped that it would turn into something permanent, but nope. That's not how it worked. I graduated from college in December 2009 with a Bachelor's Degree in Vocal Music Education. I have been able to get forebearance on my student loans, but I'm tired of that. I want a job that is permanent - one that is mine. If it were easy, I'd be a famous opera singer instead right now, but that market is tougher than trying to be a music teacher in the area that we live in. I've sent out so many resumes and cover letters (and I HATE writing cover letters) and applied for the very few positions that have opened up. With so many schools in OH cutting the arts, it's really tough to even score an interview. Because of not having a job, I/we don't have a ton of money laying around. My wonderful husband, a reservist, happens to work from home for his civilian job. With it being summer, we get on each others' nerves a bit. So, I've taken up running again.

I am prepping to run the Army Ten Miler in October. I'm following the Focus-N-Fly training plan.....at least I have been until about a week ago. I'd known for a bit that it was time for new running shoes - I hadn't bought new ones in about a year. Running shoes for my extremely flat feet are never inexpensive. They're typically $100. I figure it's better to pay $100 once a year for shoes than to be paying the $40 co-pay we have for each doctor and/or physical therapy visit. It's craziness. I know that because when I was enlisted in the Reserves, I had tons of ankle and foot issues and got to know my orthopedic doctor VERY well, as well as my physical therapist.

When I first enlisted, they had us do the water test to find out what kind of shoes we needed for our feet. Well, they told me I needed shoes for a normal arch. I just went a long with it. I never really took notice that I had flat feet. I thought my feet were normal (I guess because my entire family had feet like mine, except my mom). I remember my mom talking about how I would walk on the insides of my feet when I was a kid. Now, as an adult, I realize that's a sign of having flat feet. After several years in the army and numerous injuries, I went to my doctor who recommended orthotics in my shoes and more physical therapy. After the last MRI on my ankle, she said that the ligaments and tendons in my ankles are so stretched, worn, and weak from being injured so many times that the only thing she could do was prescribe physical therapy and that I needed to invest in good shoes.

I went to the local running store that we have and was, for the first time, properly fitted for running shoes. I just wasn't prepared for the cost. Not only did I end up spending $100 on shoes, but an additional $45 for inserts to help. Has it been worth it? You betcha! I can honestly say that I haven't been to the ortho doc since the fall of 2008/winter of 2009. This year, I just put off getting my new shoes a little too long. Now, I'm sitting here with a strained calf muscle - which has slowed down my running. GRRRRRR! To add to that, I'm having a hard time wearing shoes that aren't my running shoes - and I had an interview today.

I had a little crisis in my head this morning as I was getting ready for my interview. I had my skirt and blouse picked out, but what shoes would I wear. Hmmm... I knew flip flops were a NO GO from the start, not that they were really comfy or matched my outfit anyway. Running shoes weren't on my list because, well, they didn't match my outfit either. I endured just a little bit of pain and wore heels for the hour and a half of driving time and my interview (which was an hour itself).

I'm hopeful about this job. I have the experience necessary. The interview took an hour, including a tour of the school. Please keep your fingers crossed that when they call in the next few days, that I'll have a job. Let's also hope that I get over this running injury before too long as well.

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From the horse crap, comes the flower.

Living in Seoul is a challenge. There are a myriad of functions our apartment has that is completely out of left field to me. I can answer the door from the bathroom using a control panel over my toilet paper; my toilet has two different kinds flushes; and my new best friend is a massaging bidet. The down side is, all of the control panels are in Korean, so who knows how to use any of it? Certainly not I. (On a side note: This weekend, my son, Matthew, pressed a button on the control panel in the bathroom, which set off the loudest alarm humanly possible. I'm not fluent in Korean, but I'm pretty sure the Korean who was screaming in between the loud sirens was warning us that we're being invaded, and North Korea was at our door. As it turns out, it is an emergency button. A pretty crappy one, I’ll say, considering no one came to help us. I had to call the realtor to ask her if our apartment was about to explode.) Anyway, I figured out how to use the bidet because of the pictures accompanying the corresponding buttons. (Really.) There’s “central vacuuming” in our wall, but no central air conditioning. There’s no dishwasher. Well, I take that back. I’M the dishwasher. The sink has a spinning basket that accumulates left over food so you can dry it before you put it in the trash, as opposed to a garbage disposal. Our microwave is also an oven. Or maybe our oven is also a microwave. The only thing that fits in it is a small meat loaf. The vestibule has nothing but closet space… for shoes. Not a single place to hang up your coat. We have to use transformers for our fridge, washer, dryer, my blow dryer, toaster, and an assortment of other things. The heat comes from the floor; we have marble walls, so we can’t put a nail in the wall to hang up a picture; and, oh, no one speaks English.

When we venture out into town, basic things like ordering food or telling a cab where to go are complicated, at best. Those are the little things we took advantage of in the states. You don’t have a true appreciation for living in a country where everyone speaks the same language as you until you’re not. Oh, and the television. Did I mention the television? I miss American television. We watched a lot of Korea’s Got Talent and Korean infomercials before we got Netflix and Hulu. Those are the two shows we didn’t need to speak Korean to understand, but that greatly limits what we can watch. Reality shows, Dr. Phil, Army Wives, I miss it all. I’m not ashamed to admit I love television. When my husband first told me we were being stationed in Korea, one of my first thoughts was, “How am I going to watch TV?” My friend, Kristine B., actually contacted a friend of hers who is here to ask her for me. I was THAT concerned about it. Hey, some people play video games; some people do crossword puzzles; some people read; I watch TV. I’m a passive learner. I used to like keeping the Discovery Channel on in the background in the hopes of absorbing some knowledge via osmosis.

With all that being said, I love living in Korea.

I love my toilet and its control panel. The toilet seat heats up. Heating from the floor means your feet are never cold, and if your back hurts, you can just lay down on the hot floor. Our air conditioning is remote controlled, so I don’t have to get up. Well, I do to find the remote, but once I find it, I’m set. Hardwood floors are easy to clean. I love the clothes drying rack that comes down from the ceiling. The oven/microwave means one less thing on the counter. The fact that I can see who’s at my door without getting off my couch is gold. Central vacuuming is awesome and way better than sweeping. I’d have to sweep all day, every day to keep this floor clean.

I love how friendly the Korean people are. I love that my husband and I can go out to eat, and after we brutally botch up their language and order food, our two-year-old can (more like “will”) go sit down and eat with other people or run around the restaurant and some random, kind Koreans will play with him and watch him for us, because they love children that much. I love the sense of community. My husband and I went out to eat Galbi yesterday. Galbi is a beef short rib dish that is slap-yo-mama good. Someone in the table next to us saw us struggling, and they called up a friend of theirs who spoke English, put my husband on the phone, figured out what we wanted, and spoke to the waiter for us. As it turns out, they didn’t make the Galbi we wanted. They made the “gruel” version, which is a soup called Galbitab.

No matter where the Army sends you, there is always going to be nervousness and reservation. New things are scary. They are supposed to be, I guess. We are creatures of habit, and the Army likes to shakes things up. If you go with a bad attitude, it’ll effect not only your time at your duty station, but your family’s as well. I mean, you know how it goes… If mama ain’t happy, no one is happy. Take your experiences for what they are – experiences. If it weren’t for the Army, I wouldn’t be here. I never even left the country before moving here. Korea wasn’t in my top 10 places to visit. I don’t even think it was in my top 100, but I am glad I am here. My husband isn’t deployed. My family is together. My son can experience a new culture and way of life. I learned more things about myself from living here than I expected to. Like, for future reference I now know that my son can cry and scream at the top of his lungs for three hours straight on a flight, and I won’t rip my hair out and arrive bald or leave him at the lost and found. I now know this about myself for a fact.

Cheer up. It could be worse. Bloom where you are planted. From the horse crap, comes the flower, right?

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Fairytale Expectations

My fiance just got back from a month long ROTC camp and I was so excited to see him! I honestly thought this month was going to be easy, boy was I wrong.

As the weeks went by without any word from Joseph, I spent a lot of my time daydreaming about the day when I would finally be back in his arms. I would think about seeing him for the first time at the airport, working together to finish up last minute things for the wedding (Only 17 more days to go! Thats right...I'm counting!) I would dream about cooking together, watching a movie curled up on the couch with a big bowl of popcorn, running errands together, going on a walk, and the list goes on. These are all things that I truly enjoy doing with the love of my life but things I completely take advantage of when he his home.

I have to admit, when I daydream about these things life seems completely perfect. My daydreams put me right into the middle of a fairytale that you might see on TV or read in a book. We never fight in these dreams, we are living in the moment and we are never stressed about anything else that may be going on in our lives, we are ALWAYS holding hands or showing some sort of affection towards each other. Every event in these dreams unfolds perfectly. I'm sure you can imagine it's a bit of a shock to the system when I come back to reality only to discover that my fiance is not sitting on the couch next to me and I still have yet to hear from him for three weeks straight. But I have to tell you, these dreams keep me going. They remind me of what I am waiting for, what my heart aches for.

I'm sure that you can also imagine that when these events actually start to unfold in my life, they are nothing like the fairytales I have dreamt. As much as I wanted Joseph's homecoming to be as perfect as these fairytales, it wasn't. I was actually running late when I went to pick Joe up at the airport and his flight was conveniently early. I made it in time to see him walk off the plane but my hair was a mess, the last time I applied makeup was 10 hours earlier, and I was frazzled from a busy day at work and crazy traffic on the highway. We have thankfully been getting wedding stuff done but not without a few disagreements (that's my positive spin on having an argument) and not without me nagging a bit now and then. Needless to say, I do not live in a fairytale nor do I want to. I am so blessed to have such a wonderful, crazy, hectic life. I am so excited to marry Joseph and more than likely make my life a little more hectic, definitely a little more crazy, but oh so wonderful with my best friend and soul mate. We are ready to start OUR fairytale. It may not be the one you catch on TV or the one you read in a book, but it's ours and I am ready for the ride!

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Army Wife Network and Conduit join forces to give away iPad

Army Wife Network, the social networking leader of Army spouses, has joined forces with Conduit, the fastest-growing network of Web and mobile app publishers to give away an iPad to one lucky winner! After proudly sponsoring the AWN Field Exercise™ at Fort Knox last May, Conduit has once again decided to give back to the AWN community of followers.

Together, Army Wife Network and Conduit are hosting a contest to promote the new Army Wife Network Community Toolbar, which has nearly reached its 1,000th download! In an effort to reach out to new battle buddies this summer, AWN would like to invite fans to download the new toolbar. Once the toolbar reaches 1,000 downloads, contestants should join AWN staff, Star and Janet, during the very next AWN chat session via the toolbar for the chance to win. Chat sessions are weekly on Wednesday at 9:00 a.m. EST, and Friday at 2:00 p.m. EST.

To download the toolbar, simply go to http://armywifenetwork.ourtoolbar.com/. Use it to find your favorite AWN resources, chat, check email, time zones, weather, andother interactive empowerment tools. You need those tools to track the progress and make sure you’re in the chat room for Giveaway Time!

Army Wife Network is the internet’s leading website for Army Wives, by Army Wives. We boast the only internet talk radio show designed specifically for military spouses – Army Wife Talk Radio – in its sixth year of broadcasting. To find out more about AWN’s history and interactive empowerment tools please visit our website at http://www.armywifenetwork.com/.

With Conduit, global brands including Major League Baseball, Time Warner Cable, Univision, the Chelsea Football Club, Fox News, iVillage, Groupon, Travelocity, and TechCrunch are marketing themselves online – along with hundreds of thousands of small and medium-sized organizations in more than 120 countries around the world. Join the Conduit Network at http://www.conduit.com/.

###

For more information about this topic, or to schedule an interview with Army Wife Network founders Tara Crooks and Star Henderson, please call (888) 866-5041 or e-mail info@armywifenetwork.com.

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Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

Living in Seoul, there really isn’t a “need” for a car. It’s more of a want. Yeah, there are subways and taxis and buses, but that’s simply not convenient enough for folks like me. I grew up in the Bronx, and I’ve always taken subways and buses, but when I got my first car – which, by the way, is the car I currently have – there was no looking back. I mean, why walk that extra twenty feet in the parking lot of (insert major department store name here), when I can park a space closer? If I had to take the subway, I’d have to walk at least fifty feet, and we just can’t have that.

I got my license here in Korea very early on, just in case something happened to my son or if I just wanted to drive in circles around a parking lot. (Oh, you do that, too? It’s fun, isn’t it?) I drove in Seoul to the commissary once and vowed to never be behind the wheel of a car again. Well, while we are here, anyway. If you think driving in New York City is scary – and it is – try driving in Seoul, for Pete’s sake. It’s got New York City traffic, small town drivers, and ridiculous driving laws. One of the points mentioned in the driving manual is to not splash pedestrians. Pfft. Really? How about don’t HIT pedestrians?! They’re everywhere!

So, last week, my husband allowed me the privilege of driving my own car to run errands while he had to take the gasp! bus to work. I needed to buy entirely too much crappola from the PX and commissary to take a taxi, and I decided I was going to muster up the courage to drive around town. And I did. Of course, it’s monsoon season here in the land of the morning calm, and the rain was unforgiving. There were times where I couldn’t see ten feet in front of me. I’m not exactly what you’d call a confident driver. I didn’t get my license until I was 23 years old. By that point, I was – and still am – acutely aware of my mortality.

I drove to drop my son off at the sitter, and then I headed to the PX and commissary. I went in through the wrong gate, because there are a thousand gates on post, and I know where three of them are. I had to make a u-turn at the hotel on post, and I was stopped by a soldier, asking me what my business was at the Dragon Hill Lodge. I told him I just needed to make a quick u-turn. Well, that certainly wasn’t going to happen. When I mentioned to him what my “business” was, I saw a swarm of black SUVs and the entrance blocked off. I asked what was going on, and he quickly replied that he couldn’t say. Okay, I’ll make a u-turn somewhere else. No biggie. I’m just nosey is all.

I did all of my errands, picked up my son, and got home safely without killing one person! Hooray! I plopped on the couch and started to poke at my phone. I checked out the Facebook page for USAG-Yongsan, and they had an article about the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Admiral Mike Mullen. I decided to click on it and take a read. Apparently, that swarm of black SUVs on post was Admiral Mullen! He was hosting the Change of Command Ceremony for the outgoing general of USFK (all of South Korea, that is) General Walter Sharp. I was so excited. I felt like I almost met a rock star. Yep, you can make fun of me all you want, but I think Admiral Mullen IS a rock star. I was so close to him, I could’ve thrown a rock at him. Not that I would have. I’m just saying I could have.

Most days are good; that day was particularly good. I drove around Seoul solo without getting into a single accident; I ran my errands without a toddler in tow; and I could’ve thrown a rock at Admiral Mullen. Life is good.

(On a side note: My husband, bless his little heart, decided to read my blog posts for the first time. He said, “I like your blog. You make our lives sound interesting.” I love you, too, honey.)

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AWTR Show 324: E-Mealz

Presents Army Wife Talk Radio

Join the AWN team this week on Army Wife Talk Radio for a conversation with E-Mealz.com. Looking for a new way to freshen up your meal planning? This is a show you don’t want to miss.

Resource of the Week: National Resource Directory

We’ll see you in LIVE CHAT starting at 8pm Eastern.

Visit Army Wife Network and Loving A Soldier Blog
Click here to download the MP3

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Picture A Hero - Giving Thanks

Here recently before my husband had his R&R, my boys and I were able to attend a promotion, Picture A Hero, on Ledward Barracks, Schweinfurt. I didn't get word about it until the day before (partly my fault), but in any case, there was a note put out that the first two days were slotted for upcoming deployed Soliders & Families, so I planned for early Sunday A.M. before church.

Picture A Hero is a non-profit organization that was created to offer individual and family portraits to members of the United States Military who are preparing to deploy. Soldiers and their families receive the images in digital and print format, at no cost.

Well, getting all boys ready for church is a task, but getting them up earlier on Sunday for pictures proved to be too much for this one parent of a two parent household.

I told them in advance that we were getting pictures taken before church so that we can send them for Daddy (downrange). Anyway, we probably waited for about 10 minutes before the photographer started taking photos with her camera. With only one or two photos in the session my 4 year old son decided to have a meltdown (if front of the Garrison Commander & Family --of all people). UGH.

So, we just left. Funny thing is, my boys will take pictures for me- any place, any time, any where, but not this day and not for anyone. I did manage to take some photos at church with my camera and they were content in doing--which irritated me to some degree. Well, my motto for that day was, "If you don't succeed the first time, try and try again."

Well, I only had one more day to do it (before they head out of town). I came in the next day in the afternoon, and it was busy. Oh my! The photographer said the first two days were slow, but these last two-BUSY! Well, we waited. It was about a 20 minute wait (not to bad overall)...

This time, she remembered us from the previous day and she already knew my boys needed 'special' attention (as usual). Well, she immediately took us into the small kitchen (in the Yellow Ribbon Room) and gave the boys a snack (THANK YOU!)--that made a huge difference in their countenance.

So she did some photos of the older two, while the younger two were distracted by bubbles. ;) Needless-to-say, we got our pictures...but the only way we could keep my youngest in the photos was to feed him one chip at a time.

The photographer and her family were professional, kind, loving, and all things knowledgeable when it comes to children's crisis. Even with all the above the kicker is that it (the photo session) was all FREE. The photo session with the photos saved on a disc were free.

I just wanted to say to the Picture A Hero organization a BIG Thank You for coming overseas, your professionalism, your kindness, and your appreciation for helping military families with your craft.

I know that many of the families here in Schweinfurt, Germany were pleased with the end results. Yes, making memories through family photos is great, but free family photos is fantastic!

Again, thank you so much Picture A Hero - your service to the Military Members and Families is invaluable.

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It's a girl!

We moved into our apartment in Seoul last week. That, in and of itself, was an adventure, and I’ll spare you the details for now. I’d like to write a nice, long post about it. One that will bore you to tears and inspire you to finally do the dishes or fold the laundry or get that wisdom tooth removed finally.

In honor of Independence Day, I wanted to talk about our deployed soldiers, and how we can support them. Yes, we all have our own soldier at home, and we pledge our allegiance to our country every day when we go to sleep alone because our soldier is in the field, or when we wake up at o-dark-hundred to make them coffee (or if you’re a REALLY good wife, breakfast [I don’t fall under the “REALLY good wife” category. I barely wake up when he leaves]) or when we’re explaining to our kids why Dad can’t be there for their birthday. I’m talking about the soldier that is, for a lack of a better term, forgotten about. Not all soldiers are married or even have families who support their decision to be in the military. It’s a strange thing to type, and even stranger to read back to myself, but it is a fact of life.

Several years ago, before my husband even joined the military, I signed up to join a website called SoldiersAngels.org, and I adopted a soldier. It is a non-profit organization which supports deployed soldiers, sending them care packages and such. To be an “angel,” you have to commit to send “your” soldier at least one letter per week and one care package per month. At the time, I didn’t know much about the military, but what I DID know is that everyone deserves to feel remembered and cared for. “My” soldier was single, deployed in Iraq, and from what I gathered, rarely received letters, much less a care package. We wrote brief letters; I sent him care packages; and, bottom line, I truly hope from the bottom of my heart that he knew at least one person cared about him and what he was doing was/is important.

Well, last week I decided to do it again. “It” meaning adopting a new soldier, people. Stick with me here. Anyway, I paid $30.00 to become a Lifetime Member. I then got the name of my soldier. Insert gasp, shock, and awe here. I was assigned a female soldier on her first deployment. Her name is Abbey. I was so excited to be assigned a female soldier; to hear me talk about it, you’d think I had just given birth to a 20-something soldier. I have not encountered many female soldiers, but the few I have interacted with were rock stars. She mentioned in a brief bio that there’s no PX where she is. So, I ran to the PX – and when I say “ran,” I mean I took a cab. I am far too lazy to walk, much less run – and got her toiletries, a phone card, and some cookies. I tried to get her some stationary, but the PX here in Yongsan is a barren wasteland. I’m pretty sure all that was left in the PX was a roll of toilet tissue and a Q-tip when I left. And I think people were fighting over the Q-tip. I decided to send her my unopened stationary that I got in the states before I came here and some stamps I happened to have just picked up at the post office. I included a card in the package, giving her some basic information about me and thanking her for her service. Once I get to know her better, I plan on sending her more and more often.

With that being said, there are over 1,700 soldiers waiting to be adopted by “angels.” Oh, and if you are overseas, it's free to ship APO-to-APO. Check the website out. I mean, you know what they say about a box of chocolates.


“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

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Social media/networking:Friend or Foe?

I may be forbidden from writing blogs for AWN after this one. After having it all typed out, I found I did what I usually do, acted like the Energizer Bunny and just kept going and going and going..... Hopefully though it keeps your attention.

If you missed this past week's Army Wife Talk Radio(AWTR) show hosted by Star and Tara from Army Wife Network(AWN), you missed one heck of a show. Luckily for you the show can be found on the main AWN website.

This weeks show featured guests Augie Ray and Josh Salmons from USAA's social media team. During the broadcast we learned much about the rise in social media as well as the role it is currently playing on our culture. We even found out that quite possibly Martin Luther(yes that Martin Luther) could have possibly been one of the first ever folks to use social media(kinda-you'll have to listen to the show to understand).

It was very clear the AWTR team had many more questions they would have liked to ask and have answered. I will admit, this show was my personal favorite. Maybe it is because social media and social networking has been such a key aspect of my life. Really it's been a big part in all of our lives to some extent or another. But it does not come without both highs and lows.

Blogging has become a very real part of our lives. We either write the blogs or read the blogs. From celebrities, to news personalities to the average Joe/Jane. There is something about the connection we feel from reading what others write.

Most of us in the military community by now should have heard about the MIL Blogging community. It is a community of people who blog about all things military. Both current and past service members partake in this community as do politicians. Another integral part of this community is the MILspouse community. I am routinely fascinated by the abundance of MILspouse's who are sharing their lives and stories through blogs.

Just like all blogs, some of us MILspouse's blog about random things, some of us blog about helpful ideas such as PCS moves, dealing with deployment, getting command sponsorship, etc etc. I have found the blogs that seem most popular are the ones that the writer really let's folks into their life through their writing. I surmise that not only are people interested in reading about someones personal life, but we can typically relate to an individual. I know for me I found much solace knowing I wasn't the only one who dealt with Army life like I do. My empathetic heart breaks every time I read a blog and I know exactly what a MILspouse is saying. But miraculously as quick as it breaks, it is put back together when other MILspouse's chime in to let the author know they aren't alone. And a byproduct of that is I am told I am not alone too.

I find blogging to be very therapeutic. It is one of the GREAT things about social media. Facebook is yet another GREAT thing but I would assume it is classified as social networking. Without social networking, I wonder if I ever would get a handle on this life.

As great as social networking(facebook) is, it is also a very ugly thing at times. The ability to put out there the thoughts we have at any given moment on any given subject allows people a very close look at who we are. I know I lost a long time family friend because of what started as a political disagreement.

Theorists are beginning to think social networking is hurting relationships. Where else can you be in constant contact with an ex? And we can't forget about Farmville and all those other time consuming games that distract us.

Just about 8 weeks ago my "friends" list topped 800 people. I would say that approximately 65% of them were people I actually knew well enough to call "friend". The rest were made up of a mixture of acquaintances, friends of friends or random people I have come to know as a MILspouse. It was great getting all the attention I was getting from so called "friends". People would chime in on subjects ranging from what I ate for breakfast to my daily dilemma's that could include which shirt I was going to wear or which diapers I prefer for the baby. Yes, I was one of those every 3 minute status updaters.

One day I woke up and just decided I needed to "defriend" some folks. First I started with those who used profanity and were regularly vulgar, as well as the naysayers. That got rid of quite a few. Then I started getting rid of the random women that I became "friends" with through the similar life we live. I asked myself "if my wife wants to know who 'so and so' is, how do I explain she is just some random woman". By this point I was down to about 500 "friends". I kept "defriending" anyone who I didn't believe positively impacted my life. This didn't take out too many more and then I was told some of the most impactful words regarding social networking I have ever heard.

A wise person said "if I won't have lunch with someone alone, then they don't need to be on my friends list".

Currently I sit at roughly 150 "friends". Everyone left is someone who either has been an integral part of my life or is currently. Or they have the same blood running through their veins that I do mine.

Life has become much simpler for me since I did this. While I wouldn't call a great majority of those people I "defriended" foes, I can't really call them friend either.

Another area where social networking has been both friend and foe has been through the plethora of MILspouse pages. Before I had the wake up call about "friends", I was likewise adding every decent MILspouse page I came across. I found them to be a great resource to get answers to my questions about this life as well as entertainment. But I also found they caused great animosity. I was regularly baffled and disgusted by some of the topics being discussed. I don't think it does anyone any good to hear a snip-it of someones personal life and offer up advice that possibly should be best answered by a professional. Likewise, I really don't need to know about people's sex lives.

I wrote a detailed blog about the not so good side of social network over sharing on my personal blog-TheArmyWife(DUDE)@blogspot- back in March titled "REALLY!?! No.. no...really?" This blog goes into much detail about some of the more inappropriate topics I have seen discussed. Some people just lack serious couth when sharing. It is my opinion that as a MILspouse whether we like it or not we are held to what should be a higher standard because it is also my opinion that we are in fact a direct reflection of our soldier-spouse. If nothing else, do we really want our spouse's CO or XO knowing intimate details of our life when we share things on a completely public "page"? That same thought process should also be given towards our blogs. I spill my guts in my blog about me and me alone. I do my best to not share intimate things about my marriage and I never share things that would make my wife look like anything but the angel she is(someone tell her I said that...OK?).

As many downsides as there is concerning social networking, the upsides are remarkably higher. I know a lot of people really don't care to see me update pictures of our son, but my family back home does. I know a lot of people don't really care that "I am taking the kids to the park" or "the baby giggled when he passed gas in the pool and laughed when the bubbles came up", but I know my wife in Afghanistan does find comfort in knowing we are regularly doing things.

As a MILspouse the most significant thing outside of keeping in touch with our deployed/away spouse and keeping close with the family we have left behind is the availability to have REAL questions answered as we traverse through this military life. Questions like "what is a DLA?" or "the BAH has been lowered, will that effect me?" or simply a question like "what's Fort Lost-in-the-woods REALLY like?". Without social networking we may not know Fort Leonardwood is one of the hidden gems that just needs some polishing.

Without a doubt the best place for an Army spouse to gain information and knowledge from is another Army spouse. I thoroughly enjoy sharing information with my wife that she think she knows because it's what she's been told, only to know that somehow she was misinformed. Not because I like proving her wrong(crap... I am losing my brownie points for that angel remark a bit back), but really, if not for other Army spouse's, when we PCS'd for the first time, we would never have known about a DLA. It's not exactly like the Army wants to scream from the rooftops "FREE MONEY!".

Whether or not social media and social networking is a "friend or foe" is up to the person using it. This stuff is a tool, and if you don't know how to use a tool properly, watch out. You don't bang a metal hammer on metal, you use a mallet.

If life is like a jigsaw puzzle and our attempt is to put it together before we die, then military life is like one of those super duper advanced 20,000 piece jigsaw puzzles where the picture seems to blend together. I am extremely thankful for AWN because if military life is that jigsaw puzzle I just mentioned, then AWN is the person/people who put all the border pieces together for us.

That last sentence may sound a little biased because I am a team member, but I assure you, I am just like you fumbling over the pieces trying to figure this thing out. If not for AWN and the contacts I have made, I may have just gotten up from the table and left the puzzle where it was.

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Just Saying Hi

I am really excited to be able to blog at Loving a Soldier! I am new to blogging so please bare with me as I find my path as well as my voice.

I have spent a lot of time reading through the posts and getting to know some of you so I wanted to start by introducing myself. I am technically not an army wife, not yet anyways. I am getting married the first of August to the love of my life and I am so excited!! I basically spend my days at work and the evenings doing wedding stuff so I am even more excited for the vacation after the wedding with my husband, is that bad? I graduated in May with my masters in architecture from the University of Kansas (Rock Chalk Jayhawk!). I am really blessed to be working at an amazing firm in Kansas City and to be a part of a great project.

Joe and I have been dating for 6 years. We met at church when we were both in high school. He is currently in the Army ROTC program with only one year left of school! I know it sounds really silly but I am really excited to finally not have to live my ife in semesters and revolve everything around a school schedule.

Joe joined the ROTC program about two years ago. We were both already in college pursuing a degree (Joe is going to school for elementary education) when the economy really took a hit. Very few students graduating with a degree in architecture were getting jobs and schools were being forced to make huge budget cuts and had to let a number of teachers go. Needless to say, Joe and I were very concerned about our future and what was going to happen when it was our turn to walk down the hill and graduate.

Joe has wanted to join the military for as long as I can remember. I'm pretty sure the reason he didn't join right out of high school was because of me, although he will never admit it, so I wasn't really surprised when he came to me and told me he wanted to join ROTC. He told me that he didn't want to live his life without me so this was a decision that we had to make together. This was his way to attempt to secure a future for our family. I knew right away that I couldn't keep him from his dream and from his passion so I told him I would support him and stand by his side through the crazy journey (a journey which I know nothing about).

I tend to deal with difficult situations by gaining as much information about the topic as possible. For whatever reason it makes me feel as if I have more control over the situation even if I know that's not the case. That's how I came about Army Wife Network. I found the podcast on ITunes and started to listen right away. I may be new to this army wife life but AWN has already taught me so much! The most important thing I have learned from AWN is that the army life is not something you simply have to deal with, but it is something I can embrace, make my own, and learn things from that a lot of people would never have the opportunity to learn and I'm excited to share my journey as I do just that!

I hope everybody has a great week,

Andrea

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AWTR Show 323: Social Media and the Military

Presents Army Wife Talk Radio

Join the AWN team this week on Army Wife Talk Radio for a conversation with USAA’s Social Media Team. We’re discussing how social media has changed our world.

Resource of the Week: The Boobie Brigade

We’ll see you in LIVE CHAT starting at 8pm Eastern.

Visit Army Wife Network and Loving A Soldier Blog
Click here to download the MP3

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AWN Book Club July Book

I am very excited to announce that Julys featured book will be:

ALICE BLISS: A Novel
By: Laura Harrington

If you enjoy reading, it doesn't matter if you are a military child, mother, spouse, or no military affiliation at all but if you have any kind of relationship with your dad, you MUST read this book! It has earned rave reviews from many magazines and I can tell you, it is AMAZING. So far, one of the best I've read in the past few years.

Pick it up here and join me in letting me know what you think about it!

You will NOT be disappointed!

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Please air conditioner, just work....

Another hot, sweltering day in middle Tennessee and wouldn’t you know it, the home air conditioner has decided it just doesn’t want to play in the heat. We have had a couple of issues with it the last couple of months and I have always been able to finagle it somehow to work in hopes that it will hold out until my husband is de-mobilized and comes home in August.

I sit here very cautiously today with my breath held that the news we received last week will truly become reality and my husband will be home next week! Their mission has been completed earlier than expected and he is supposed to start out-processing this week. I would love to be super excited at this point but we have had so many things said, done and been disappointed in the last two years that it is hard to be excited until it actually happens. I know you all understand, as about the only thing guaranteed with this Army life is change and sometimes literally at the last minute. But, we always manage to pull through it and gain new understandings sometimes along the way.

There is excitement and the desire to return to some kind of normalcy but there is also the very stark reality that there are some very unknowns headed our way. Unfortunately, my mobilized Reservist husband is not coming home to a job waiting for him. His previous employer down-sized dramatically and he was laid-off prior to being mobilized and deployed. I am confident something will work out quickly for him though and am trying not to stress too much until then.

Well, looks like I did it again….it’s now only 82 degrees in the house! Please air conditioner; keep working until my husband gets home next week.

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Featured Fan Friday

 We love our fans and want you to love them too. So each Friday we're going to feature one of our Facebook ones. Grab a cup of coffee or tea and let's get to know each other!

Your Name: BRIDGETTE SPURLOCK
Tell us about your soldier & your family: I'm married to the most amazing man!  We are both originally from NE Arkansas.  We met just before he joined the Army, after 8 years we are still going strong.  We have 3 amazing children ages 5, 3, and 23 months. Not only is my husband an amazing soldier, but he is also a licensed minister. We love reaching out and helping our community both military and civilian.
Where are you from: NE Arkansas
Where are you currently stationed? Where have you been stationed prior?: Currently he's in Osan AFB, South Korea and we are in Colorado. Before South Korea, we were at Peterson AFB, Hickam AFB, Fort Shafter, and Schofield Barracks.



Tell us three interesting things about you: I run my own business and I homeschool my children. I have a desire to reach out to those in need and help them. I write articles for a faith based newsletter called SISTERS.

What is your favorite color?: Yellow and Pink (it's a tie between them)


What is your favorite food?: Salads

Do you have a battle buddy? If so, where did you meet them? Tell us about him/her: Kinda. My battle sister in a Navy wife. We met in Hawaii, she was the first person I met in our church there that was from the south. She helped me understand the culture and when I thought the Army life was hard I saw her life. She is one who can look me in the eye and say "put your big girl panties on and deal with it" without me getting angry. LOL...anytime I'm struggling I call her and she sets me straight. I do the same for her too.
What is your passion?: 1) My children 2) My husband 3)Helping others in need
 
Do you have a quote you live by or just love? If so, what is it?: "No Matter What" (NMW) The story behind this:  We decided that we were done having kids. We were at a church conference and my husband had to leave immediately for a meeting. I told him something was wrong but I would be ok and I could handle it - just go. I'm that strong minded. Plus I wanted him to relax with the other ministers because he was leaving in 2 days. Well I checked my calendar, the only thing that could be wrong would have been a miscarriage. I texted him and let him know what I thought it was and I was going into the nearest town to double check. Well it appeared I was miscarrying. Before I could let him know what was going on. He sent me a text saying "I love you no matter what happens."  The "No Matter What" stood out. It just reminded me that circumstances, situations, distance, nor anything can come between love unless we let it.  Nothing is coming between us. No Matter What....
How did you learn about AWN?: I found it on Facebook one day while searching for a local Army Wives group.

What is your favorite AWN resource?: My favorite resource is the Wall on Facebook, because anytime I have a question there is someone there to answer my question.

Why do you think AWN is important to Army Wives?:

It's a GREAT importance because sometimes when the men are gone, the wives are all we have. We have a secret sisterhood that keeps us bound. When one loses a spouse, we all morn. When one receives a promotion, we all rejoice. We are there for each other, that is what a network is for and AWN goes above and beyond that!!!

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