On an application, for 'In Case Of Emergency Notify:' I wrote 'Doctor'... What's my mother going to do?

Last week, a friend of a friend asked if I could watch her child. Her daughter, who goes to the CDC, was told she couldn’t come back until Monday, because of her allergies. That’s weird, but believable. I’ve heard some interesting things from the CDC in order to send a child home or not accept a child, so I understood and offered to watch her daughter. This was on Friday. On Monday, I took my son to the sitter, because I had a thousand things to do, as usual, to get ready for us to move into our apartment in Seoul. Matthew’s eyes were a little “goopy” just like this friend of a friend’s daughter’s were, but I didn’t pay any mind to it. Matthew’s sitter sent me a text message, telling me Matthew’s eyes had a green discharge, and she sent me a picture. I immediately called and asked my sitter if she thought I should take him to a doctor. She said she’s not sure, but since it’s green, yeah, it’d be a good idea. I immediately called Pediatrics to make my son an appointment, and, of course, no appointments were available until a month from now. I panicked, so I called my battle buddy/wife, Shawna G., and asked her what I should do. I, for some reason, could not process a thought. Matthew has been sick before. He’s needed to be taken to the doctor on an emergency basis. Why was I paralyzed by this? If it weren’t for Shawna telling me what to do and how to do it, I’d probably still be banging my head on the wall, trying to remember what the next step to take was. If only there were a manual… If “A” happens, please see page 2. If “G” happens, please skip to page 13, section 2a. If only.

So, I took Matthew to the emergency room. That was a trip, because I didn’t know what to expect. I mean, I’ve never taken Matthew to an ER. I’ve never taken Matthew to a doctor at a military treatment facility. Heck, I’ve never taken Matthew to a doctor outside of the United States. There were a lot of firsts, but I’m a mom, and you just do what you have to do and freak out when you’re done.

Two hours later, Matthew was diagnosed with pink eye in both eyes. The prescription to treat it? Ointment I have to put in his eyes, twice a day. Okay, I have a toddler. Couldn’t there be an easier way to give him his medication? I mean, really. In the modern age we live in, an ointment?! Do you know what I have to do twice a day for the next four days to get this medication in his eyes? It’s like trying to give a pill to a cat. Have you ever done that? It’s not a whole heck of a lot of fun. Matthew hates it. I hate it. We both look at each other with disgust when it’s over.

Well, a couple of days later, I got a really bad sore throat. I tried to ignore it, because when you’re a stay-at-home parent, you don’t really have time to get sick. I had this sore throat for about a week, and I figured I should probably do something about it, because it was getting exponentially worse. So, I went to the ER tonight, because just like Matthew, my PCM would not be available for a month. You know what my silver lining was? I could go to the ER, sit in the waiting room for a few hours, and read my book. I was talking to Shawna, and I told her, “I am a little excited to go, because I'll go by myself, and I'll have a chance to catch up on my book. I don't get a whole lot of alone time or even quiet time to read with Grace men around me.” Who gets excited about going to the ER? I do. Why? For the alone time. That’s a new kind of sad, but that’s okay with me. It works for me.

I got to the ER, and no one was there. Well, the doctors and nurses were there, but there was no one in the waiting room. I checked-in, and when I was half-way down one of the pages in my book, the nurse called me back. I told her my symptoms, and she left the room. I read the rest of that very page, and the doctor came in. Really? REALLY? The one time I want you folks to take your time, you’re trying to beat the Guiness World Record for seeing a patient in an ER. My doctor was really nice. Mid-exam, she asked where I got my hair colored. That was a weird moment of doctor-patient relations. How many times have you gone to the doctor, and they barely looked at you, much less “talked” with you? The exams I’ve had lasted seconds, and I’m usually cut off. I tend to be long-winded, as if you couldn’t tell, so I understand why they have to shut me up. Did I mention I’m paranoid and think every illness anyone in my family have is life-threatening? Oh, yeah. I’m THAT patient. Bless their little hearts.

The exam was over, and my doctor said the pharmacy was closed, but they’d pull my meds for me and bring them to me. How nice was that? A chance for me to read my book! Two pages later, they brought me my meds. A normal person would’ve been grateful for the promptness of their response. Not me. I’m not normal. At this point, I’m contemplating sitting in the waiting room just so I could have the quiet time and get into my book.

I have four different kinds of meds to take. My son still needs the ointment in both eyes. My husband isn’t feeling that well, either. You know what this means, right? Oh, I think I forgot to mention the best part, I’m sorry. We are signing the lease and moving into our apartment tomorrow! We get to spend our Independence Day four-day weekend sick and unpacking.

I guess the silver lining is, at least we will finally have a place to call our own, and we never have to look at this hotel again! Until we PCS out of here anyway…

Click here to read the rest of this post.

Easy Living?

The title asks, "Easy Living"?
And being a military wife--mid PCS mind you--I respond with,
"NO! It is not."

But, one thing that has come easy for me in recent years is Loving A Soldier. (LOL: It was definitely a learned behavior.) I got to share some Long-Lasting Love advice with Easy Living magazine this summer. Along with David and me, there were quite a few other couples who shared advice. They're not military, but they are in love and had great tips.

Here is the article from Easy Living UK, July 2011.

“We learn from the low moments”
Starlett and David

Starlett: “Being married to a soldier means we have

our fair share of challenges. David has been on four

deployments since 2001, each lasting an average of

12 months. Some couples have it worse, so you won’t

hear me complain too loudly. We try to focus on the

positive things life brings us. And David has the

right balance of being serious and funny. He’s taught

me to not take things too seriously.

We know it requires effort – from raising our two

children and navigating long-term separations, to planning the future and

making peace with bad decisions in the past.

Life is full of twists and turns, ups and downs, but we couldn’t appreciate the high moments if we didn’t

respect and learn from the low ones.”


For the full article, click the cover above, read, and enjoy some long-lasting love.

Yours truly, Star

Click here to read the rest of this post.

I'm new here, be kind

Before I begin, let me thank the wonderful people at the Army Wife Network for giving me this chance to blog here! After asking a friend of mine to pray for me-that I would have the strength to complete the tasks that I have taken on, SURPRISE! I'm going to be a blogger for Loving A Soldier. True story, bro.

I'd like to give you a little background info on myself, that way you can kind of put a 'face' to the person making these crazy statements from her computer! My name is Sarah Anne, and I'm a disabled Army veteran. I was in Kuwait (where I met my husband) and Iraq (where we spent our honeymoon), during my 4 year hitch for Uncle Sam. My husband is currently in Afghanistan, we have been married for almost 7 years, and we have 2 girls, Izzy who is 4, and Bullet who is 2. I'm using their nicknames, though it would have been EPIC to have a daughter named Bullet. I just tell people how fast she was born, that's how she got her nickname.

I am currently living at Fort Blistering...Oops, I mean Fort Benning. Sorry, the heat sometimes shorts out my brain cells. All of our duty stations have been in the South: North Carolina, Virginia, and now Georgia. One would think I would be used to the heat. One would be wrong.

To make the time go by faster while The Man is in the 'Stan, I try to keep myself as busy as possible. I'm a stay-at-home mom who is an FRG leader for 2 companies (don't ask...okay, you can ask in the comments!), I blog now, I make quilts for soldiers in Afghanistan, send care packages all over the world (I make a mean chocolate chip cookie), I am returning to school in the fall to start my bachelor's degree, and in between times I like to read, cross-stitch, cook, and ruckmarch. Yes, ruckmarch. This weight isn't going to just melt off in the heat, you know!

Click here to read the rest of this post.

If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.

I told my friend that I was going to write in a blog, but I needed to do an introductory blog first. In that conversation, I said, “I don’t even know what to say. I'm not as full of myself as I like to pretend I am.” She said that would be a great opening line.

So, hello. My name is Emily, and I’m an Army wife. (Hi, Emily…) Before I introduce myself any further, I wanted to take a moment to thank the Army Wife Network for welcoming me to the team. A few weeks ago, a post was made by the AWN giving us wives (and dudes) an opportunity to contribute to this incredible blog. I threw my hat in the mix, not expecting much of it considering there are THOUSANDS of people who saw the same post. I submitted my sample blog, and, well, to my amazement, I was selected, as well as two other ladies whom you’ve already heard from. What a pleasant surprise! I found out at around midnight my time – we are currently stationed in Seoul, South Korea – so I had to do my happy dance all by myself in the bathroom. Don’t act like you’ve never done a happy dance in the bathroom before.

So, here’s a little background information on me, my family, and how we got here. Grab a cup of coffee or a margarita – whatever you have a taste for – and get comfy.

We’ll start in the beginning. Not the beginning-beginning, like, “One day, a man and a woman who really loved each other decided to show their love for each other…” but the beginning of my Army wife life. I moved to Florida in 2004, and I met my now-husband Tom. He was studying to be a pilot, and I was studying to be a court reporter. I can’t speak for Tom, but, for me, it was instant love. During the four years we dated, a variety of events occurred that could hardly be described in one blog. The turning point for me was, one day in 2007, we were at the dog park with our two dogs, who were our children at the time. We were living in Jacksonville, Florida, which is a big Navy town. Hey, hey, don’t start booing. I can hear you, you know. Anyway, at the dog park, we were talking about something inconsequential, and all of the sudden, he said, “I was talking to a P3 pilot about flying in the military.” He went on to say that he was thinking about joining the military. Saying I was taken aback by it would be the understatement of the year. Tom was a flight instructor, trying to build enough hours to fly an airliner. The only time the military came up was when he was talking about his family’s service. At the time, airliners were hiring pilots with so few hours, it was a hiring bonanza. They were hiring pilots with less than 500 hours, and in the flight community, that’s not a whole heck of a lot. If I were him, I would’ve been like, “Sign me up! When I do start?” My husband, the level headed, brilliant man he is, didn’t think it was a great idea, not to mention the airliner he wanted to fly didn’t take pilots with such few hours.

Then, the economy crashed, and I got pregnant.

All those pilots that were hired with a few hundred flight hours were fired. Tom could’ve easily been one of them, but he had the foresight to go a different direction. We agreed joining the military was the best route for a multitude of reasons, and he made his way to the recruiters’ office. We got married in September 2008. We had our beautiful little boy in December 2008. In July 2009, he was shipped off to Basic Combat Training and Officer Candidate School, one after the other. My son was six months old when he left, and when he came back, my son, Matthew, was just over a year old. Those six months were the longest, most challenging months of our relationship. The distance, the letter-writing, raising a child as a single mom, all of it hit really hard. I felt like we were practically strangers when we got to live together again. With all of that said and done, it was a hard-won fight, but we made it.

Our first duty station was Fort Rucker, Alabama, and we were there for nearly a year and a half. My husband trained on the UH-60 Blackhawk. If you’ve not gone through it, flight school… Well, to put it as plainly as possible, flight school sucked. I knew some spouses whose husbands went to flight school and have also deployed at some point. Those women said if they had to choose between the two, they’d choose deployment every time. How’s that for perspective?

In February 2011, we were slated to find out where we’d go when Tom was done with flight school. We were told he’d get one of his top three duty stations. Now, ladies and dudes, it’s the Army. A guarantee really isn’t a guarantee. It’s more of a “We’ll do what we can.” The mission always comes first. Our top three included Germany and two posts stateside. We got South Korea. South Korea, by the way, wasn’t even in the realm of possibility in my head. My husband, bless his heart, had to deal with me and my 10,000 questions. Every time I got an answer, 10,000 more questions were presented. That’s when I turned to the Army Wife Network. That’s where most of my answers came from. I got to a point where I could give HIM answers. Haha! How about that? If it weren’t for the kindness of spouses, like Dawn M. and Hannah R., who were in or leaving Korea and could give me some insight, I would’ve been completely in the dark, flailing my arms about, looking for a light switch.

The command sponsorship program in Korea is undergoing a major overhaul. At our Korea briefing, I was told the chances of getting command sponsorship were slim to none, so we probably shouldn’t bother applying for it and let him do the one-year tour and come back. I am of the feeling that my husband will deploy soon enough. If I have an opportunity to be with him, I am going to take it, no matter what. So, we applied anyway, and we left our home in Fort Rucker, Alabama, and headed to Washington, DC, in April 2011. I was told command sponsorship would take as little as three months and as much as a year, so I went to live with my in-laws in the interim. Tom drove us up, we unloaded the car, the second day we were there – exactly two weeks before Tom was slated to leave for Korea – we got a call; command sponsorship was approved WITH concurrent travel. I don’t know about you, but I nearly passed out. How many times do things happen way better than you anticipated in the Army?

Two domestic flights with my screaming two-year-old, a 9-hour layover in Seattle, and one long 14-hour flight later, we landed in Korea. We have been living in a hotel for two months. Holy moly. The hotel employees know us by name. Oh, and when I say “us,” I mean, my son Matthew’s name and me as Matthew’s mama. I told one of the ladies we see every day that we are finally moving out of here, and she practically had a coronary. Matthew made quite an impression here.

Here I am today. I’m a 26-year-old stay-at-home mama from the Bronx, living in Seoul, South Korea. (Who’da thunk it?) It is 2225 on Tuesday night. I spent the day with the most wonderfully incredible battle buddy anyone would be lucky to have, Shawna G. (I took the Seoul Metro for the first time by myself!) In my hour-long train ride, I got to read a book, enjoy the scenery, and explore on my way to Yangju. I will be posting about the goings on here in Korea, and I hope you stay tuned. There’s a lot more to come. (Jeez. Could this be any longer? Where's the music that plays when someone's Oscar speech is too long when you need it?)

Click here to read the rest of this post.

New "Kid" on the Block

Ok, so that title dates me a bit (and yes, I was a BIG fan). But anyway...Hello! I am so excited to be here as a new blogger and team member with Army Wife Network! I am thrilled at the opportunity to be a part of such an amazing community!

A little bit about myself...I have been married to my Hero for almost 10 years now. He is currently serving his first deployment to Iraq and I miss him terribly! Our journey with the Army National Guard began 4 years ago when my hubby stated that if he didn't join the military, it would be something he would always regret. It was a dream of his and I was not one to stand in the way of a dream, especially one so honorable. I backed his decision wholeheartedly and we've not looked back since! While it's not always an easy life, and being a National Guard family presents it's own set of challenges, it is a life I love.

Together we have two beautiful children, ages 7 and 4, who keep me very active! They are my biggest reason to stay focused and positive during the long separation from my husband.  I am also an elementary school teacher and am taking Graduate classes on the side. I guess you could say I like to stay busy!

When I started writing my own personal blog, I never envisioned where it would take me. I have met so many amazing military spouses who inspire me every day. It's so comforting to know there are other women (and men) experiencing the same situations and feelings as I am. Knowing I am not alone, especially while my husband is away, makes some of the challenges just a little easier to handle! While I consider myself and our family new to the military world (and to the blogging world!), I hope that my blogs can encourage and relate to other spouses and provide a little of that comfort which I have found.

I am so excited for this opportunity to be a part of the Loving A Soldier blog and Army Wives Network and I am honored to be given the chance to share my "voice" with you all!

Click here to read the rest of this post.

AWTR Show 321: USAA Military Spouse Community

Presents Army Wife Talk Radio

Join the AWN team this week on Army Wife Talk Radio for a conversation with the team from USAA Military Spouse Community. USAA debuts a new community specifically for military spouses and our questions about finance.

Resource of the Week: USAA Home Circle

We’ll see you in LIVE CHAT starting at 8pm Eastern.

Visit Army Wife Network and Loving A Soldier Blog
Click here to download the MP3

Click here to read the rest of this post.

Intro

Hi everyone !

My name is Lexi Isham , I am a Air Force wife but soon to be Army wife . My husband is going from blue to green , and its going to be an adventure thats for sure . I am excited for the things to come for our little family. I am a stay at home mom , I go to school, take care of a two year old and sell scentsy. I love writing in my blog and writing on here . I also love helping other people .

I live in Alaska as of right now but am leaving soon as my husband goes off to play army and gets "deblued" as he loves to say . I am from a small town in ID originally , I love the country and I hate the city. If i had a choice i would stay in the country the rest of my life lol .

My husband and I met in aug of last year and by the middle of sept we were married and moving
to Alaska . We have a very hyper at times loving , great two year old who is an amazing child . I love him to death .

Click here to read the rest of this post.

Healthy Cookies and Tasty Banana Bran Muffins

For this month's Mess Hall recipe, we tried out 2 recipes. One was for Bev's Chocolate Chip Cookies and the other was for Banana Bran Muffins. Read the review on Army Wife Network.

Click here to read the rest of this post.

WINNER! Country Crock & Wounded Warrior Project

Last week we announced our contest with Country Crooks & Wounded Warrior Project: See the blog post & comments by clicking here.

And our winner is.....

AWN Fan Mandi who wrote: 

My favorite 4th of July tradition is my anniversary. When we walked out of the building we went though sparklers, and at the end of the line we we given roman candles we wrapped our arms around each other and shot the roman candles off. No each year we go watch the fireworks and at the end of them we shoot our roman candles off just like we did in our wedding. It feels as if every year we are renewing our vows. The years he's been deployed I've shot two roman candles at a time, one in his honor.

Mandi, please email info@armywifenetwork.com with your full name and address so that we can ship you your prize. Congratulations!

Click here to read the rest of this post.

my deep breath.

My husband leaves again soon. This will actually be our 3rd combat "rodeo" but the feelings are still the same as with the first two. I get butterflies and goosebumps at the same time when I get deep in thought about this tour. Butterflies because he loves his job, and he’s good at it, and it’s so amazing to see the man he’s become in the eyes of the men he leads everyday. Goosebumps because all the fears are the same and in addition to my husband going, I’ve also gotten attached more than ever to the guys he’s serving with. They’ve become my big brothers and are like uncles to our children.

So ......phew....here it is... my deep breath...for me and for all of them. I’m ready for this deployment and I’m ready to see how our family grows from it. I have a feeling it’s going to be the most interesting yet and I feel blessed to be able to experience it for a 3rd time. Hooah!

Click here to read the rest of this post.

Junes AWN BOOK CLUB Review

Home is Where the Army Sends You - Fort Bragg North Carolina

This months book club choice was one for the kiddos. Well, actually- now that I think about it, it is technically a children's book, however, one that I found useful and informative as an adult and BONUS, it was much more fun to read then info packets!

The title is:
"Home is Where the Army Sends You"
By: Melissa Davis
Illustrated by: Juli Dorton

This particular book is based upon a young daughter of a soldier and her family. It puts PCS moves into a really fun and positive light, which is wonderful for something that we all know can be a little scary, doing the packing and most importantly, moving to a brand new location.

What is there to do? What will it be like? Just think.....when your spouse brings home those orders, you have a moment (or perhaps in my case, about a week)of panic or frantic googling to learn about the new area so think about what school age children must feel. Grant it, I do know as a teacher that some children love the moving process and smoothly transition to new places but I have to give it to Melissa Davis for this book. Brilliant idea.

It is a more wordy book then in your typical children's literature, so this one would be wonderful for older kids to read on their own, or perhaps families to sit down together and read it. Shoot, maybe they will pick up a new tradition for their next "Surprise".

I do not want to spoil the story for you so I will tell you a bit about what the book does, and then let you order a copy and read it for yourself.

The story spans an entire day of the Applebottoms family. (Who couldn't love a family named The Applebottoms?!) Kristy and her brother know that they will be moving (so that part isn't the surprise, springing that one on the kiddos at the last moment might not go as swimmingly as just the location.) but they are unaware as to where. Dad arrives home with many clues about the state, which in turn are actual facts and really neat things about North Carolina, Fayetteville, and Fort Bragg. He brings home a tiny little keepsake as a clue and then the family begins their guessing game.
You know that Mrs. Davis is an educator, because she doesn't miss a beat by not only turning this anxious situation into a game, but also a lesson about NC. I have lived at Fort Bragg for a few years, and I learned a few things myself!(I must admit, I also really enjoyed the illustrations. They are so detailed and colorful.)

I found this to be a very uplifting, positive book. It helps families to make this an exciting time together as a group. At the end, there are facts listed about the state and questions that might help with family discussion about the move or just the book in general.

If you are not going to NC, or have not been there, pick this one up. I have a sneaking feeling that by the end of it you will be crossing your fingers that you head there! If you are already there or on your way, this is a must have on your shelf. It is very well written and relatable. I can only hope that in the future we have a book for every state (dare I say CONUS and OCONUS) from this author to look forward to.

To order, click the link at the very top of the page! ENJOY!

Click here to read the rest of this post.

Running

So, I am training for the Army Ten Miler again. Last year, the awesome ladies from Army Wife Network and I did the Ten Miler together. This year, I think there's two of us running it. I've started training again. I kind of, sort of, really stopped running after the Ten Miler last October. I did my first race of the season this weekend. It's the Hyde Park Blast in Cincinnati. This is an awesome race because it's not a typical 5K - in fact, it is actually a 4 mile race (with some really steep hills - especially in the last mile). This year is the 10th anniversary, so all the retailers on Hyde Park Square are having all kinds of awesome activities and sales. After the race, those of us who competed, received a tumbler - one of the hard plastic cups that's like the Starbucks ones you buy. Plus, the shirt we got for doing the race was a really awesome tech shirt (a non-cotton shirt that soaks up your sweat and is better for you when running). The cool thing about this race is that your registration fee went to support 2 different charities: The Wellness Community and The Cure Starts Now. I didn't know much about either group until this weekend. The Cure Starts Now is a charity that is raising money to research cancer to find a cure, mainly, pediatric brain cancer.

Let's take a step back into my childhood. When I was about 8 or 9 years old, I had a best friend who got sick out of nowhere. We'd been on a church retreat one weekend and I got sick and then a few days later she got sick and her mom called my mom about it. Then Rachel wasn't getting better at all. So, after tests and doctor's visits, they found out that she had a cancerous brain tumor. The next period of time is kind of a blur for me, but when we were 10, Rachel passed away from the cancer. It's been 18 and a half years at this point (which is weird for me to say), but that is a thing in my life that I will never forget - watching her go through treatments and seeing her family go through ups and downs with it. Even now, when I go back home, I always make a stop at the cemetery. That is why I'm SO super psyched about this particular charity (that and the Ronald McDonald House).

Aside from those charities, I'm super pumped about the Wounded Warrior Project. I've decided that training and running for the Ten Miler - for me, personally - is going to be a fundraiser for the Wounded Warrior Project. If you don't know much about them or haven't heard of them, check out their website. While my soldier has come home from his last two deployments with minimal issues, I know that there are SO many soldiers out there who come home with PTSD, TBIs, and physical injuries of all kinds. I'm a HUGE fan of the Wounded Warrior Project, and will gladly run 10 miles in support of them.

Before I forget, my time in yesterday's 4 mile race was 49 minutes and 54 seconds (that's a pace of 12 minutes 29 seconds per mile).

Click here to read the rest of this post.

I will put the toilet seat down, promise!

I was supposed to write this blog as Army Wife Network's(AWN) newest team member, instead like a lot of men, I kept putting it off and in the time since I was supposed to have this completed, AWN actually added yet another great team member. The boss(no not my wife, the AWN boss) kept asking me nicely to get it done. The more I put it off the more she seemed to have to nag me even though I am constantly on the computer. You know, kinda like that broken railing that your husband says he will fix and never gets to. Finally however, here we are.

If you aren't really sure who I am, well this blog will help me introduce myself(I'm long winded so bare with me). My name is Wayne Perry, I was born in 1978, I have 2 children(Kyle-10 and Quinn-2), I have been married to my better half(literally my better half) since June of '06. Kyle is mine from a previous relationship and my wife and I have custody of him(a father gaining custody speaks about the fire I have been refined in I would think).

These days I am a full time stay at home dad. After nearly 15 years of working on and off doing landscaping(5 years owning my own lawn cutting business) my back began to give me problems and my wife and I discussed our options. We decided we would see what she could do since she was college ejimukated and all I gots is myself a good enough diploma(GED). I had earlier on in my adult life worked with handicapped adults and children and for about 2 years helped run a youth center back home in Florida, but without any kind of formal degree the pay was barely above minimum wage.

My wife first had an idea to work on a cruise ship. We decided that the long hours and time away from the family made that a horrible idea. So instead she decided to join the Army.(This is where you laugh because of our reasoning for her not going to work on a cruise ship)

From the day she walked into the recruiters office to the day she left for boot camp was only about 5-6 weeks. And there we were, thrust into a whole new life. Neither of us grew up with any family members who could share much about living the military life so everything has more or less been a surprise, and boy does this life offer surprises.

We have for the most part always believed in having only one primary income so one of us could stay home to tend to the chitlins, so thus a new life for me was born. I went from being the typical on the go, come and go as I please, help with the kids once in awhile bread winner guy to "holy crap I am a single stay at home parent since my wife is gone!" I had been a single parent for 2 years before I met my wife, but I would say with every ounce of me that this is way more challenging(that's a WHOLE LOT of ounces so you know).

The biggest challenge adjusting to this new life for me was not being a stay at home parent or the primary guardian of the kids, the biggest challenge was adjusting to not having my wife around any more. To say I have struggled with it would be an understatement. From the day we got married to the time she left for basic there were only about 6 nights we spent apart. I had no idea how dependant I had become on her companionship. I had figured this thing would be a breeze. Man was I ever wrong.

Just a few weeks into her being gone to basic training I began looking for ways to get plugged in and for people to talk to who knew what I was going through. Long story short I found some facebook pages created to help us military spouse's and leaned on them for my support and information. After a few weeks I was fortunate enough to find AWN and really begin to learn this life. More importantly through AWN and the other facebook pages I found out that I was not alone in how I was struggling with a spouse absent.

At first there was much apprehension when some random guy began appearing on some of the pages. But it didn't take too long for the ladies to realize I was just like them, only with anatomical differences. Yet still I wasn't quite comfortable with my role, so instead of pissing and moaning about it I decided to create my very own facebook page for MILspouse's. From there I began blogging about my adventures as a spouse married to someone in the Army. And because I am the wanna be comedian that I am I took on the moniker of TheArmyWife(DUDE).

The page I had created and the blog I was writing in many ways created a personality. I have always been one to try and help folks where I can and the best way I know how is my transparency through my own struggles. This allowed me to gain some credibility as a decent person and more importantly put me in contact with some cream of the crop Army Wives.

Like most stay at home parents I do what I can to socialize my kids and keep busy. The baby and I go to play group twice a week, we go to the parks, we do all we can to fit in. But no matter how hard I try there really is no fitting in. I have some pretty strong feelings about calling women up for play dates so more or less if it's not in a large group setting it's just me and the baby.

When moving to our first duty station our oldest son stayed with my parents for the school year while we adjusted to this life(OK, while I adjusted to this life). It may have been a good thing he did because less than three months after reporting here my wife deployed to Afghanistan. With him not being here I was able to find my groove and learn the ropes. It's been a struggle but we are finally on the right track.

Right about the same time my wife deployed a couple cool gals helped me get something going for us male military spouse's(I like to call us military MANspouse's-it sounds just a lil more masculine and the first 3 letters are big cuz we are guys and bigger is always better). While there isn't much of a difference between a female MILspouse and a military MANspouse, the difference's are ginormous.

Every time I hear a female MILspouse say "there's nothing to do", I cringe, because there is a plethora of opportunities to get out of the house and resources available. Unfortunately the majority(I really want to say ALL but I won't), the majority of the resources are female centered, catered or dominated. While I love knowing there's others out there like me even though we have different parts, I really don't want to go chill with a lady unless it's my wife(and I doubt the deployed husbands want me chilling with their wife either). My boundaries are very high, probably too high, but all the same I like it this way to give no misconceptions of my motives.

To sit here and say to ACS, the Army, the MWR or to the government that "we need more things for military MANspouse's" would be ludicrous. There just aren't enough of us. Out of the 350,000+ marriages in the Army only 36,000+ are men married to female soldiers. This doesn't mean we don't need things for us guys. It just means we can't ask for the government to bend at our will. I am a VERY FIRM believer in what President John F. Kennedy once said, "Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country." And this is why I took it upon myself to start something for us guys. Here at our current post there are 502 military MANspouse's that are "dependants" married to female soldiers and another 402 that are dual military families.

As weird as this sounds I have a passion for men. This comes from a deep rooted belief in men's ministry through my Christian beliefs. The better way to say it than "I have a passion for men" may be to say I have a passion for fathers and husbands. I know what having other men in my life has done and I strongly believe in the bible verse that says "As iron sharpens iron, man sharpens man".

You may think that I became an AWN team member only to reach the guys. However this is not the case. Going with that bible verse I shared I also believe "as iron sharpens iron, MILspouse sharpens MILspouse". I believe I have something to not only learn from other MILspouse's, but to share as well.

Another thing I aim to do is share my story and the story of the men who are MANning the Homefront(which is the name of the group we have going here for us military MANspouse's). One thing you must realize about me, while I am "still a guy", I am not the typical guy. I am emotional, I am sappy, I am someone who thinks with the heart, in all inward appearance you may think I was a chic(hopefully I don't upset any feminists using a word like chic because chic and dude are as common in Florida where I grew up as y'all is). I am expressive, open and share my thoughts and feelings(1 reason I didn't enlist is because if I don't like ya or your idea, well I will tell ya). Thinking with feelings and emotions is not something many men do and rather than hide from who I am, I embrace it. I have no problem telling people I love Delilah(the lady who plays sappy dedication songs on the radio-and yes I have talked to her. Not once, not twice, but THREE times and I am very proud of that).

But when push comes to shove, I am still a guy.

I don't plan on changing the name of the Army Wife Network. I don't expect the military to all of a sudden begin catering to us guys doing this life. I am a military spouse. I face the same adversity every other military spouse faces. The only difference is who I have to lean on is a small minority. 91% smaller portion of the pie than that of what the female MILspouse has to choose from.

I promise while I am a team member with AWN I will treat all with the respect they deserve. If nothing else I like to believe I have strong moral integrity. But I am still a guy. I may say something stupid. It may take me a few reminders to get something done. But I will do my best to impact the world around me.(Heck who knows, maybe I will be the Army Wife(DUDE) of the year one day)

And yes, I will put the toilet seat down when I am through.

Click here to read the rest of this post.

Featured Fan Friday

 We love our fans and want you to love them too. So each Friday we're going to feature one of our Facebook ones. Grab a cup of coffee or tea and let's get to know each other

 

Your Name: My name is Nancy Lachut

Tell us about your soldier & your family: I am married to my highschool sweetheart.  We just marked our 26th wedding anniversary, and hope to celebrate during his deployment R&R soon.  18 years of army life has taken us to Fort Drum, NY; Fort Eustis, VA; Mannheim, Germany; Fort Riley, KS; Fort Leonard Wood, MO; Fort Sill, OK; and Fort Knox, NY.  My soldier also has served an unaccompanied tour of Korea.  He has deployed to Afghanistan, Iraq, and Africa.  During these years, we have enjoyed having a family of three incredible children.  Our older two have their Bachelor's degrees, and are married.  Our oldest daughter married her highschool sweetheart, and our son-in-law serves in the navy.  Our son is also married, and will begin a doctoral program in August.  Our youngest daughter is still at home, and after being homeschooled K-8, just completed her freshman year of public highschool.  All three have excelled academically, and each has a special area of passionate interest ranging from sports, photography, theology, computers, and music performance.  Despite the instability the military lifestyle can hold, maintaining a stable family-life has been paramount for us. Our roots and stability are in our family.  We have been blessed to see many things, visit many places, and make friends all over.  Our children worked through the challenges of being army kids, and turned those experiences into positive facets of life.  They have an appreciation for other cultures, both stateside and abroad, and are extremely well-rounded.  I enjoy bragging on my kids, and they prove over and over again, just how cool military kids can be.

Where are you from? I grew up in South Arkansas.  My husband was born in New York, but moved south as a young child.  I spent the first 26 years of life living in the county I was born in.  We currently make our home in Kentucky, and are looking to stay and settle here long term.  The delight of moving every few years has faded.  We will always enjoy traveling, but are looking forward to putting down roots.

Where are you currently stationed? Where have you been stationed prior?

Tell us three interesting things about you: I love a variety of music.  I enjoy Trans-Siberian Orchestra, the Irish tenors of Celtic Thunder, David Garrett's violin stylings, and the Christian music groups Casting Crowns and Skillet.  I want to learn how to quilt as my mother does.  After years of raising a family and being an army wife, I am now needing to decide what I want to be when I grow up.  My dream job would be to own a quilt shop and have the knowledge and ability to teach others the art of quilting and fabric crafting.

What is your favorite color? I LOVE COLOR!  I cannot limit to just one.  My eyes are happiest surveying a flower garden, taking in vibrant fall leaves, and perusing a quilt store. I love the green grass and trees of Kentucky, yet I love the subtle hues in the desert southwest.

What is your favorite food? My favorite food is brownies, but not just any brownies.  Brownie Mallow bars and Knock You __ Brownies.  As far as real food goes, my absolute favorite are the smoked bbq pork ribs my husband makes.  Day-to-day cooking can get mundane, but I love to COOK.  Jaegerschnitzel, Thai spring rolls, and a variety of other dishes garnered from years of military living are my kitchen delight.

Do you have a battle buddy? I am fortunate to have several battle buddies.  I have no sisters by birth, but I have met many through the army.  Several are current or former army wives, and I have a few that are 100% civilian.  I find having both is an incredible blessing.  There are things that only another army wife can understand, and there are times when I need to talk to someone who knows nothing of army life.  An added battle buddy is my oldest daughter.  As a navy wife and army child, she understands a lot of the trials and joys - and she knows me.  She is a great encourager, and though we are many hours apart, she's always a phone call away.

What is your passion? My passions are my Lord, my husband, and my family.  They make life a joy.  I might not always be happy, but with these, I never lack joy.

Do you have a quote you live by or just love? If so, what is it?
I have two Bible verses than I rely upon daily.  (1) . . . all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose . . Romans 8:28-39   (2) . . for I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope . . . Jeremiah 29:11-13 

The Lord has carried us through difficult times.  These verses remind me that He is in control, and everything will be good in the end.

How did you learn about AWN? I cannot remember where I first heard about AWN.  I vaguely remember something about it when we were at Fort Sill, but did not become familiar with it until recently.  I signed up for, and attended the Field Exercise held recently at Fort Knox.  How incredible it is!!  Every new army wife needs to be plugged into AWN.  It is an unmatched resource for all things needed to know, and the new that continually pops up.  Right now, of all things, my favorite resoucre is AWN on Facebook.  With my husband deployed, facebook is one thing I take a break for to keep up with all that's going on in the world.  Noteworthy info is regularly posted, plus there are items often posted in which I might be able to lend a thought or bit of advice.  AWN is an excellent resource for those just entering the life of a military wife, or those who have years under their belt.  AWN is a place where wives from both extremes can share experiences, points of view, and share in a special sisterhood.

What is your favorite AWN resource:
Why do you think AWN is important to Army wives?

Click here to read the rest of this post.

WIN! With AWN, Country Crock, & the Wounded Warrior Project

Reflecting its commitment to wounded warriors and their families and caregivers, Country Crock® has partnered with Wounded Warrior Project™, an organization established to raise awareness and provide aid for injured service members. As part of the alliance, Country Crock has committed $100,000 to the non-profit organization.  In addition, has created a specially marked tub of Country Crock that will be on shelves through the end of August. 

Country Crock® has customized a patriotic kit, just in time for the 4^th of July and we're going to give it away to one lucky AWN Fan! 

The kit includes all of your 4^th of July and summer picnic essentials: an eco-friendly tote bag, a picnic blanket, sturdy plastic plates with utensils, corn on the cob holders, a patriotic cup, an American flag for your yard or picnic area, a “corn pen” so you can keep track of your grocery lists and last but not least, a specially marked tub of Country Crock to enjoy on corn on the cob and other vegetables this summer and beyond!  

Enter to WIN: Simply post a COMMENT to this blog telling us about your favorite 4th of July tradition.   

Readers can also show their support by visiting www.countrycrock.com to donate to Wounded Warrior Project.

One entry per person. Winner will be chosen by random draw of comments made prior June 26th 11:59 Eastern time. Winner will be announced on our blog - Loving A Soldier - on Monday June 27th as to allow time for shipping prior to the holiday. 

About Country Crock:

Country Crock soft spreads, with 70% less saturated fat and 30% fewer calories than butter, provide country-fresh taste and a better nutrition choice for families.   Every tub contains 0g Trans fat per serving and no partially hydrogenated oils, and Country Crock makes good habits more delicious when paired with vegetables. Country Crock® Original Spread contains 70 calories, 7g fat and 2g saturated fat per serving. Butter contains 100 calories and 11g total fat (7g saturated fat) per serving.

Click here to read the rest of this post.