Military Spouse Oath of Commitment

I wondered recently how many spouses have read or asked about the promise our Soldiers have to make in order to join/rejoin the Army. To hear my husband tell it, there's a lot of weight in those words. (I remember; I recited them once too.) We both did not want to flub them, and they were not taken lighly by anyone we knew. They're on par with marraige vows in my opinion. All your earnestness is behind both.

What a commitment--the military life, splitting hairs between the military and the rest of your life.

So, I thought (for those who don't know the Oath), it'd be good to read and ponder it.

ARMED FORCES OATH OF ENLISTMENT
I, (NAME), do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and

 defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies,

foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to

the same; and that I will obey the orders of the President of the

United States and the orders of the officers appointed over me,

according to regulations and the Uniform Code of Military Justice.

So help me God.
 
The emphasis is mine. This promise is that "blank check" you might have heard people talk about:
A veteran is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to 'The United States of America ' for an amount of 'up to and including my life.’

More and more, there's a sense that what is included in that "life" is a spouse, a family, a community. A Soldier doesn't stand alone. They're committing themselves and who or what makes them "them." We (the spouse, the family, the community) are called upon to back that check and are invested in that Soldier. So, I wanted to put that into words. But, how? What would that level of commitment sound like? If I was called to swear an oath or make a promise to my Soldier, what would it include?

Here's an attempt:

MILITARY SPOUSES OATH OF COMMITMENT
I, (NAME), do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and

care for the incredible Soldier I believe in commiting all that I am,

completely and freely; that I will stand by his side and boost his morale;

and that I will be candid and honest but check my attitude when he

needs my aid remembering we are on the same team through it all,

according to my marriage vows and the best life-path

we hope to have for each other.

So help me God.

That's just one attempt. It means something to me, to be able to verbalize to my Soldier that we're on the same team, that I "get" the level of commitment needed, and I understand the value of renewing that promise every now and again. I want him to know that I'm committed too. "We serve too!"

I know families (wives mainly) who struggle with feeling like "second fiddle." So there's a conversation to be had, if that's the case. Steer the conversation towards what you are willing to do to make this military life work. Talk about marriage vows, enlistment oaths, and EXPECTATIONS, especially if all this is new to you. You may end up getting to areas on which you may have to agree to disagree, but having the conversation is a start. And, that conversation can extend to your battle buddies too. How do they balance the military and married life?

Writing your own oath with your ideas might be a good exercise to explore how you feel. I'd love if you share a few or reasons why the process might be hard for you.

Remember, the object is to love the Soldier, even if you don't love the Life.
That can (and probably will) come later.