On an application, for 'In Case Of Emergency Notify:' I wrote 'Doctor'... What's my mother going to do?

Last week, a friend of a friend asked if I could watch her child. Her daughter, who goes to the CDC, was told she couldn’t come back until Monday, because of her allergies. That’s weird, but believable. I’ve heard some interesting things from the CDC in order to send a child home or not accept a child, so I understood and offered to watch her daughter. This was on Friday. On Monday, I took my son to the sitter, because I had a thousand things to do, as usual, to get ready for us to move into our apartment in Seoul. Matthew’s eyes were a little “goopy” just like this friend of a friend’s daughter’s were, but I didn’t pay any mind to it. Matthew’s sitter sent me a text message, telling me Matthew’s eyes had a green discharge, and she sent me a picture. I immediately called and asked my sitter if she thought I should take him to a doctor. She said she’s not sure, but since it’s green, yeah, it’d be a good idea. I immediately called Pediatrics to make my son an appointment, and, of course, no appointments were available until a month from now. I panicked, so I called my battle buddy/wife, Shawna G., and asked her what I should do. I, for some reason, could not process a thought. Matthew has been sick before. He’s needed to be taken to the doctor on an emergency basis. Why was I paralyzed by this? If it weren’t for Shawna telling me what to do and how to do it, I’d probably still be banging my head on the wall, trying to remember what the next step to take was. If only there were a manual… If “A” happens, please see page 2. If “G” happens, please skip to page 13, section 2a. If only.

So, I took Matthew to the emergency room. That was a trip, because I didn’t know what to expect. I mean, I’ve never taken Matthew to an ER. I’ve never taken Matthew to a doctor at a military treatment facility. Heck, I’ve never taken Matthew to a doctor outside of the United States. There were a lot of firsts, but I’m a mom, and you just do what you have to do and freak out when you’re done.

Two hours later, Matthew was diagnosed with pink eye in both eyes. The prescription to treat it? Ointment I have to put in his eyes, twice a day. Okay, I have a toddler. Couldn’t there be an easier way to give him his medication? I mean, really. In the modern age we live in, an ointment?! Do you know what I have to do twice a day for the next four days to get this medication in his eyes? It’s like trying to give a pill to a cat. Have you ever done that? It’s not a whole heck of a lot of fun. Matthew hates it. I hate it. We both look at each other with disgust when it’s over.

Well, a couple of days later, I got a really bad sore throat. I tried to ignore it, because when you’re a stay-at-home parent, you don’t really have time to get sick. I had this sore throat for about a week, and I figured I should probably do something about it, because it was getting exponentially worse. So, I went to the ER tonight, because just like Matthew, my PCM would not be available for a month. You know what my silver lining was? I could go to the ER, sit in the waiting room for a few hours, and read my book. I was talking to Shawna, and I told her, “I am a little excited to go, because I'll go by myself, and I'll have a chance to catch up on my book. I don't get a whole lot of alone time or even quiet time to read with Grace men around me.” Who gets excited about going to the ER? I do. Why? For the alone time. That’s a new kind of sad, but that’s okay with me. It works for me.

I got to the ER, and no one was there. Well, the doctors and nurses were there, but there was no one in the waiting room. I checked-in, and when I was half-way down one of the pages in my book, the nurse called me back. I told her my symptoms, and she left the room. I read the rest of that very page, and the doctor came in. Really? REALLY? The one time I want you folks to take your time, you’re trying to beat the Guiness World Record for seeing a patient in an ER. My doctor was really nice. Mid-exam, she asked where I got my hair colored. That was a weird moment of doctor-patient relations. How many times have you gone to the doctor, and they barely looked at you, much less “talked” with you? The exams I’ve had lasted seconds, and I’m usually cut off. I tend to be long-winded, as if you couldn’t tell, so I understand why they have to shut me up. Did I mention I’m paranoid and think every illness anyone in my family have is life-threatening? Oh, yeah. I’m THAT patient. Bless their little hearts.

The exam was over, and my doctor said the pharmacy was closed, but they’d pull my meds for me and bring them to me. How nice was that? A chance for me to read my book! Two pages later, they brought me my meds. A normal person would’ve been grateful for the promptness of their response. Not me. I’m not normal. At this point, I’m contemplating sitting in the waiting room just so I could have the quiet time and get into my book.

I have four different kinds of meds to take. My son still needs the ointment in both eyes. My husband isn’t feeling that well, either. You know what this means, right? Oh, I think I forgot to mention the best part, I’m sorry. We are signing the lease and moving into our apartment tomorrow! We get to spend our Independence Day four-day weekend sick and unpacking.

I guess the silver lining is, at least we will finally have a place to call our own, and we never have to look at this hotel again! Until we PCS out of here anyway…