Pearls and Fine China might seem like odd advice for today's military spouse. But it's the core of the best advice I've ever gotten.
During my husband's first company command, we had a wonderful Battalion Coffee Group. Everyone was welcome at these very casual gatherings, sometimes lunches and sometimes dinners. Usually around food, women gathered to share stories, laugh and do a little venting. There was a fabulous variety in backgrounds and perspectives. A couple ladies worked outside the home, some were stay at home moms and a few were students. We were all dealing with the Army.
At one lunch, sitting around the table after eating, we were talking about the upcoming Easter holiday. As the youngest (and most recently married) spouse, I was looking forward to hosting my family for a holiday for the first time. I was especially excited to use the various wedding gifts of fine china, serving dishes and gorgeous Vera Wang silver.
One of the ladies turned to me and told me to "use that silver and china whenever you feel like it, and sometimes when you don't". She went on to explain that the one aspect of military life that you can count on is that you never know for sure what's around the corner. For the first several years of her marriage, her fine china and "sexy, night out clothes" were put away for a time when they had a chance to go out or have a big dinner party. Finding herself in a funk, she threw herself a dinner party while her soldier was away training. She made her favorite dinner, got dressed up, put on her favorite jewelry, and ate dinner by herself with her fine china and a favorite wine. As much as she laughed about it, she said it got her out of her funk. The other ladies smiled and laughed and agreed.
I didn't think much about it at the time. It was a fun afternoon and a lovely lunch. I didn't appreciate at the time the value of the lesson those Army-wise ladies shared. There is so much uncertainty in our lives. Why wait for a special occasion to enjoy the things that make us feel good? For me, it's wearing the pearls my mom gave me. It's sitting down to a dinner served family style- even if it's just me and my toddler eating. It's candles around my home, even if they have to be strategically placed out of my toddler's monkey hands.
What gets put away for a special day in your home?
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1 comments:
I love this story! I have worked in the fashion industry as a fashion editor for an international magazine. My life before being married to a soldier was filled with fashion week in NYC, champagne, and of course ridiculously expensive shoes. Once married I haven't been able to dress the way I used to when I was working full time. Once in a while I look at my shoes and it takes me back to the City or particular event.
Since my hubby has been gone for training, I know wear my favorite and most uncomfortable jimmy choo shoes to hang around the house. It may be silly for some but it reminds me of the job that I loved so much and the world I was once part of. I love my new role as an army wife and I made the promise to myself that I would never buy sweatpants or fall in a rut- so far that's been working!!
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