MyCaa Update

Hello my fellow military spouses. As most of you know by now the DoD halted the MyCaa program on February 16, 2010. This is a popular military spouse education assistance program that was instituted to enable spouses to receive $6000 towards a degree in a portable career field. I was in the midst of this program when it was halted. I now have until April 1st to find alternate funding for my new term. I had $3000 left in my MyCaa account that I was counting on and 30 days is just not a reasonable amount of time to research or apply for other options.

Like most of the other spouses affected by this I raced to the Internet and started contacting and speaking out to any military affiliated organization I could find. Well, I connected with Blue Star Families of Virginia. This organization has been a huge help to the spouses here in Virginia. They have been working very hard to get the spouses much needed answers. They saw an interview I did with our local channel 3 news here in Virginia, shortly after the news of the MyCaa halt had surfaced, and contacted me. They asked if I would be willing to work with them and Congressman Nye on figuring out what has happened and work towards getting the program reinstated. I of course jumped at the opportunity.

This afternoon Congressman Nye gathered military spouses from our area and had a round table discussion about the MyCaa incident. I want to take just a moment to tell you what an unbelievable gesture I thought this was. I don't see this from many of our government representatives and I have been more than impressed with how hard Congressman Nye is tackling this issue and working for military spouses. It was an excellent meeting. A diverse group of military spouses showed up and together our voice was more than heard! Congressman Nye has sent a formal letter that he submitted last week to Secretary Gates asking what happened, why it was handled as atrociously as it was, and what we need to do to reinstate this amazing program. It felt good to be able to express to a government official just how badly this incident has affected our lives. The DoD continues in their statements to call this an "inconvenience", but like myself and the other spouses that attended the meeting this afternoon, the word should be "life changing". I heard stories of spouses who are now in a financial hardship because they started school and right after starting are receiving tuition bills in the mail because their MyCaa funding is gone. I can't tell you how heartbreaking these testimonies were. But thankfully with Congressman Nye standing behind us, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. His advice to military spouses - continue to contact your representatives and senators. Show them that this is not going to go away and that the DoD will have to answer for this.

I have been in the military for 13 years and being associated with the military that long, I have learned that some things are just messed up but its a part of this military life. At the same token though, there also comes a time when a line is drawn and when it is crossed you have to stand up and say NO! Not this time! I pray this issue will come to a quick resolution and myself and the other 103,000+ spouses this has affected will be able to regain their chance to empower themselves and reach their educational goals!!



HH6 Janet

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Winter Ball 2010

So there we were....getting ready for the BN Military Ball. I'd have to say, this is one of the perks of being a military spouse. I suppose it depends on the person you talk to though....I, for one, love to have a night out in style. Wasn't it one of the reasons why we married our military service member?? That uniform does something (to some of us). Yes, I love my man in uniform...saying it loud and proud! :)

Military traditions are just that--traditions. Now, I cannot say for sure when the first military ball occurred. Actually, that is something to look into...but I would say from the beginning of the military services and branches! I can definitely see George Washington and his wife being at a military ball...even before that people didn't have PARTIES---THAT HAD FORMAL BALLS!! WOW, to be in that era!! I was made for it, I think.


In any case, I am from this century. So when it's time for a Ball, my husband knows he better buy two tickets. I really can't remember my first ball, so I can't really put into words how I felt about it, but being a military spouse for the last 12 1/2 years-I have had my fair share.

It will be one of the things I will miss when transitioning into the civilian world. We don't have that much longer to go...till retirement--so I definitely wanted to attend this one.

Right now I am wondering if you have ever been to one?? Our Battalion Commander (last night) asked the spouses if it was their first ball to stand up...and many it was. He said that he was glad to see them. Being their first ball it would be a little overwhelming and most Soldiers of course don't want to go (but the Ladies do)! HE HE HE

Our BN and FRG FRST and FRG members did a fabulous job with coordinating and achieving the goal for a successful Ball! Also, the FRG had a Gown Swap...something along the lines that if you had or wanted to bring or borrow a ball gown, shoes, and/or accessories--we were to bring them in (but you didn't have to bring anything)for swapping--just come and see!! Of course there were 'contracts' so that people could be responsible and give back the items borrowed. I think that was an awesome idea!! That in itself brings down the cost.

But we had a wonderful time at the Winter Ball, lots of BN spirit. Coming together as a family in celebration- as an Army Family, as a Battalion Family, and as a Unit Family. When I think of Military Balls, I always think about the movie with Mel Gibson in We Were Soldiers--where the Commander's wife realizes their husbands' are going to war...and says, "Get out your best dress Ladies, they are gonna want to celebrate."

"A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace." -Ecc. 3:8 ---There is always a season for everything.

Yes, Military Balls are a tradition, and I am glad to be apart of that tradition.

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Army News Clips

Soldiers and Families Could Face Cuts in Base ServicesSoldiers and their Families on Army posts around the country could see cutbacks in trash pickup, lawn mowing and other services as the military tries to hold down non-war spending while escalating the fight in Afghanistan. As total defense spending rises, the portion of the Army budget dedicated to running its bases is down 20 percent this year. Budgets for individual bases are not yet final, and proposed cuts vary in size and can be as much as 40 percent at some major installations. To learn more about base funding, go to http://myarmyonesource.com/News/2010/02/Cutbacks.

TRICARE Introduces New Benefit
TRICARE introduced several new programs recently to include the TRICARE Assistance Program (TRIAP), which provides short-term professional counseling assistance. TRICARE's new Extended Care Health Option (ECHO), which provides benefits for eligible Family members diagnosed with extraordinary physical or psychological conditions. For information about TRIAP and other behavioral health resources, visit the TRICARE Mental Health Resources Center. For more information on TRICARE's new dental program and pharmacy benefits, visit the TRICARE Active Duty Dental Program website at http://myarmyonesource.com/News/2010/02/ADDP and the TRICARE Pharmacy Program webpage at http://myarmyonesource.com/News/2010/02/TRICARE.

Vets, Homeless Dogs Paired, and both Benefit
Pets2Vets pairs homeless pets with combat veterans, law enforcement/emergency personnel, and those affected by post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Pets2Vets was started by an Air Force senior Airman who, after returning home from Iraq, struggled with his own experience. He went to a pit-bull rescue facility and adopted a puppy. Through his own success, he started the group. This group has made two or three matches a week since October. The group’s objective is to assist our nation's heroes and their Families with rehabilitation through pet therapy, save sheltered pets from being euthanized by providing them with homes, and to raise public awareness of post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). To learn more about this group, go to http://myarmyonesource.com/News/2010/02/VetsDogs.

Operation Homelink
Operation Homelink provides refurbished computers to the spouses or parents of junior enlisted (E1-E5) U.S. deployed service members, enabling email communication with their loved ones deployed overseas. To date, the nonprofit organization has partnered with corporate donors to link 3,200 deployed Soldiers with their Families using Internet-friendly computers. Regardless of where computers are sent, they are provided to units that are scheduled to deploy overseas in the next 90 days. Operation Homelink does not accept individual requests for computers. For more information, visit the Operation Homelink website at http://myarmyonesource.com/News/2010/02/OperationHomelink.

Nominate a Dad
Nominate a Dad for the 2010 National Fatherhood Initiative (NFI) Military Fatherhood Award. National Fatherhood Initiative will be accepting nominations for the 2010 Military Fatherhood Award, presented by Lockheed Martin, starting on Tuesday, January 19th at 12pm, but NFI will only be accepting the first six hundred nominations. To learn more, go to http://myarmyonesource.com/News/2010/02/NominateDad

Walt Disney World celebrates the U.S. Military in 2010
As Disney Parks ask “What Will You Celebrate?” and invite guests to turn their personal milestones into magical Family vacations in 2010, America's military personnel will have more reasons to celebrate: Special offers on theme park tickets and accommodations. For information, go to http://myarmyonesource.com/News/2010/02/WaltDisney.

Source: Army One Source Family News

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Approved Spouses Unaffected by Career Program Pause

WASHINGTON, Feb. 24, 2010 – A week after announcing the temporary halt of the Defense Department’s Military Spouse Career Advancement Account operations, the head of the program assures participants with approved financial assistance that their enrollment will be unaffected.

“For those of you who have currently approved financial account documents, your documents will be honored,” said Tommy T. Thomas, deputy undersecretary of defense for the Pentagon’s office of military community and family policy. “We encourage those spouses who were in the process of developing their career plans to continue to do so.”

The halt, announced Feb. 18, came as a result of an unprecedented six-fold spike in enrollments during January. Since the soft launch in March 2009, more than 136,000 military spouses have applied for the MyCAA program. Currently, 98,000 are enrolled in courses or have been approved for tuition assistance.

“These applications were overwhelming the system intended to support the program and almost reached the budget threshold,” Thomas said. “We are looking to ensure the viability of this valuable program.”

The overall program, including all procedures and financial assistance documents, is currently under review, Thomas said, adding that he expects to announce the program’s long-term strategy soon.

The MyCAA program provides military spouses with opportunities to pursue portable careers in high-demand, high-growth occupations through training programs, job readiness counseling, and employment assistance.

While no new financial assistance applications are being accepted, counseling support will remain available at local installations. Spouses also can receive assistance using other government resources such as Military OneSource and the Post-9/11 GI Bill. Spouses are encouraged to continue to pursue career counseling and the development of their career training plans, Thomas said.


By Carmen L. Gleason
American Forces Press Service

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Permission slip! Sign it and post it

Army Wife Network gives permission to __________________________________, Army Wife to _________________________________________, to rant to an interested 3d party, to rave about your husband’s service to no one in particular, to wear the same thing twice in a week, to dress up just for you, to eat cereal for dinner, to make a birthday cake (and eat as much as you like) in honor of your deployed husband, to save Christmas dinner for July, to take a mental health day, to check email one more time, to wear his deodorant while he’s away or to wish he had a Field Exercise coming up, and to make any other allowances as necessary to make it one more day.

Download and sign your copy today!

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HH6: Organizing Bathrooms and Kid's Bedrooms

If you have been in tuning in to Army Wife Talk Radio then you know we have been bringing you handy tips and tricks for becoming exceptional family managers. We have discussed time and scheduling and we have now moved on to taking care of our homes and property. On AWTR we talked about creating SOP's for our home and I also gave you some other tips to get started on your way to a more organized home. We started by talking about efficient ways to organize your attic space.
Well now let’s move on to bathrooms. Here are some tips and tricks to keep your bathrooms clean and organized:

* Use a silverware tray to keep small bathroom drawers neat and organized.
* Use plastic totes to store each family members’ bathroom items.
* Mount a magazine rack to the wall to hold magazines and other reading materials.
* Over the door shoe bags behind the bathroom door can help to organize rollers, brushes, and washcloths.
* Color code towels so each family member has their own color and now their own towels. Now when you ask the kids to hang up their towels you will know who the culprit is when you see one not hung up.
* Store bath toys in dishpans under the vanity or a mesh bag that can hang in the shower so toys can drip dry.
* Install hooks for hanging bathrobes and damp towels.
* Make sure your hooks and towel bars are where the kids can reach.
* Store prescription medicines on higher shelves and kept in clearly labeled containers, out of the reach of small children. If you have a linen closet you can even hang a spice rack to hold medicine bottles.

Now we will move on to our children’s bedrooms. Older children should be able to apply these techniques to their rooms themselves but our younger ones may need a little bit of help.

* When storing kid’s items make sure to put the most frequently used items lower to the ground do they are easily accessible.
* Divide kid’s closets into two parts, one side for hanging clothes and the other side for storing items on shelves. Have two rods on the hanging side – a high one for off-season clothing and the low one for the frequently worn items.
* Buy assorted sizes of plastic bins so kids can organize and store their belongings.
* Make sure children’s books are easily accessible. Help them organize their books by topic or alphabet and give them a sense of pride in their growing library.
* Hang hooks or pegs at child’s eye level for hanging coats, hats, and backpacks.
* Assign most-used items to the easily accessible drawers. For younger kids you can use pictures that you attach to the drawer so they learn where to put things and where they belong.
* Regularly remove outgrown clothing from drawers. Drawers should never be so full your kids can’t open them.
* Avoid toy boxes and trunks. Small items fall to the bottom and you have to empty the contents to find them. I am a huge fan of those new toy organizers where there are three shelves and each shelf holds three buckets. Great way to organize toys and keep clutter under control.

Next month on AWTR we will be continuing our journey with home and property and talking about organizing the master bedroom, home office, and garage. Stay with the Loving A Soldier Blog for more valuable household tips and advice on managing your home and family.

Warmest Regards -
HH6 Janet

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Where did February go?

I'm laying in bed with my laptop this morning. I was hoping to get a call to sub today, but I didn't. In a way, that's ok because my arm needs to air out before I go to physical therapy this afternoon. I see that today is Feb. 24, and I'm just curious - where did February go?


In January, I had my arm operated on for tendinitis. Basically the tendon in my right wrist was popping in and out of place while smacking a nerve and keeping it beat down. I think that once the doc got in there, he was thankful I chose the surgical option. He had to tack the nerve up in place while also "reconstructing" my tendon. In the pre-op area, they gave me a local anesthetic then a nerve blocker, which left a monstrous bruise for a few weeks. Then I got the general anesthetic. I was home 2 hours after the surgery started. My hand surgeon and his nurse are my newest BFFs.

The day after surgery, my wonderful husband was helping me take a bath. All was goo, until I got up and out of the tub - then I felt dizzy and light headed. I sat down on the toilet and Matt said the next thing he knew, I had passed out. I came to and he was calling my name as well as smacking my cheeks - lightly. He was more scared than I was. He called the doc, who then asked me all kinds of questions that I answered. He said that I seemed ok and it could have been the warm water, the pain meds, and low blood sugar (I was still getting sick from the anesthesia leaving my body). I had to see the doc a few days later anyway to switch the soft cast for a hard cast anyway.

I went in to get my hard cast, and he's looking at my arm. I knew and he knew that I had drill coming up. He said he wanted me to stay home this month (January), and so I had him fax a note to my platoon sergeant. Well, I'll be darned. My platoon sergeant called the doctor and said we can't let her miss, because we have SRP and it's all paperwork, etc. To make a long story short, I had to go to drill - even though I couldn't wear my ACU's because I didn't want to have to drag someone to help me in the bathroom every time I needed to go (I'm right handed, by the way). A couple days before drill, I ended up having to get a new cast because I fell - in the kitchen - and my casted arm landed on a chunk of cheese that I was using for dinner. When I went to get the new cast, the nurse also took out my stitches. She saw what she thought was a stitch and kept poking at it, while I kept getting queasy. I felt like I was going to pass out again. That's when she realized (and I forgot to mention that my arm was covered in purple marker from where the doc had marked where he was doing the surgery) that it wasn't a stitch, but that was where he had tacked the very scarred and irritated nerve. I just layed down while she continued on with the cast. I love Susan, the nurse. Her dad was in the Army and her husband was an Air Force Officer. My hand surgeon is also a former Air Force Officer, so they kind of know the ropes for military life. They were irritated with my platoon sergeant and his attitude towards them, as was I. I ended up wearing PT's all weekend at drill.

Two weeks later, if that, it's February. My cast came off on the 8th. The doctor looked at it and sent me to physical therapy - which is in the same office. Woo Hoo! Now I get to wear a splint that I can take off to do my exercises, take a shower, and to let my arm air out. Physical therapy takes a lot out of me somedays. Monday night, after getting back into the chat room after my internet crashed, I couldn't type much because my arm was SO sore from therapy. It's a slow go. The tendon is getting caught in the scar tissue and the nerve is so stinking sensitive. It's a slow go.

Not only have I been dealing with my arm, but I've been substitute teaching - even when it's snowing. I quit taking pain meds so that I was well enough to drive myself to work. There are days that I take a lot of ibuprofen because of the pain, but at least it's not the Percocet.Not only am I substitute teaching, but I work for 2 school districts that rarely close school for snow. We got hammered a few weeks ago and I was subbing at the ONLY district that was open in the entire area. It was crazy. I was driving, one handed, down the interstate while it's snowing like crazy - and you couldn't even see the lines on the roads. Then the next day, after being on the local news, they cancelled school too. It's been a busy month. I just can't believe that the last day of the month is Sunday already.

On top of all of this, my best friend is getting married in April. She was my maid of honor and I am her matron of honor. Her shower is coming up in 2.5 weeks, then 2 weeks after that is her bridal tea, then 2 weeks after that is her bachelorette party, and her wedding the week after. I feel like I should just move in with her for the month of March. To top it off, I am helping my FRG plan the dining out, which is next month. It's no wonder February is gone!

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It's the Little Things

As I sat listening to briefings this morning, I noticed my BlackBerry flashing. Worried it may be an issue with the girls' school, I checked the message. What I discovered was a quick note from my husband - many time zones away. This particular meeting is one we both attend on a monthly basis - strange that my volunteer position coordinates with his job on occasion. He knew right where I was at that moment and sent me a silly message that actually required me to stifle a giggle as I read it (must present a professional appearance)! The fact that he noticed the meeting on the official calendar and took a minute out of his day to send me that message really had a huge impact. A moment to know he was thinking about me, a smile on my face from a tender, silly message. I have reflected on it over the course of the day and it reminds me that we are a great team. Working together to succeed in the 'big things' and staying strong as a family - and remembering that sometimes it's really about the little things.

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Happy (Early) Birthday, Dr. Seuss!!

Today Mommy and I went to a birthday party celebration held in honor of Dr. Seuss at one of the local libraries. It was lots of fun! There were people dressed up like the Cat in the Hat, crafts to do, stories to hear and even snacks to eat!

As some of you might already know, Dr. Seuss' birthday is March 02. In honor of his birthday, I thought I would share with you a link to some recipes for green eggs and ham. Maybe your family can eat that special meal next week to celebrate the birth of such a wonderful storyteller!

http://www.seussville.com/titles/greeneggs/recipes.html

You can also check out the rest of the website for great games, activities and other great information about Dr. Seuss!!

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First few weeks...

Right now, my husband is packing up in Kuwait and heading out to Iraq. Ugh so many emotions and thoughts running through me. The past couple days have been beautiful here, (sorry to those still stuck in snow !) so I was able to sit outside and just relax and write a few letters to him. Its beautiful days like today that make me sit back and wonder what he's doing at that moment, and if he's thinking about me too.
When we first started dating, we went to this one spot in the park and sat and talked for hours. It was the night I learned a lot about him, and the night I fell hard for him. Everytime a pretty day like that one comes by, we try to go back to our spot and learn something new about each other. I haven't gotten up the courage to go by myself yet, but I'm working on it. It hard being in our house, driving his car, seeing his parents, and seeing our friends by myself. I'm still learning how to handle it all. I have to will myself to not google whats going over there sometimes. This one day in particular I lost the battle. Needless to say, that won't be happening again.
All in all, I'm not doing as bad as I thought I would, only because I don't have time to lay in the dark and cry all the time like I thought I would. I miss him like crazy, but I'm learning that life goes on, oddly enough, when he's not here. I already have my countdown going until he's back, but I haven't put my life on hold. I'll just enjoy sharing all the crazy experiences I had when he's back.

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Army Wife Life February 22, 2010

This edition of Army Wife Life discussion is brought to you in partnership with Lucky Army Wives! (www.LuckyArmyWives.com)

Please leave your answers to the questions below by commenting on this post. Listen for Star and Tara's answers on Show 254: Week of Feb 22, 2010 using our AWTR Player in the right sidebar!

Excerpt blog post: There are a few Army posts that might be appealing to our soldiers but absolutely do not bring out the stars in our eyes! Some hints that you’re most likely heading to one of these less than stellar locations: your soldier continues to go in early and work late – avoiding any potential questions from you concerning PCS-ing – although his replacement has arrived, has a nameplate, and is hovering outside your soldier’s door; your soldier offers to take you shopping – for shoes AND a new handbag - when you ask “have you got those orders, yet?”; and/or your soldier begins extolling the value of spending quality time with the family, growing one’s own vegetables, and taking up knitting to while away the long evening hours.

Don’t get us wrong, Pearl & Mercedes have enjoyed every post location to date; however, there are a few Army post locations that make us wonder why in the world we didn’t marry a sailor so we could lounge in our beach chairs, snap our fingers for a fruity cocktail, and enjoy balmy evenings dancing on big ships! We’re not pushing direct fire on a few Army posts – rather, consider this a heads up that you might have to become extremely creative concerning self- and child-entertainment! Scrabble, anyone?


Discussion Point 1: My favorite post assignment has been: ________________

Discussion Point 2: I would love to move to: ____________________

Discussion Point 3: My favorite board game is __________________

Discussion Point 4: There are only a few things I REQUIRE at a post….and they are……

Discussion Point 5: Seriously – this was what was missing the last place I went….

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Anyone else noticing a TREND?

What a bummer! First, the DoD takes out the MyCAA program and now this? US ARMY shuts down FREEDOM TEAM SALUTE program! Are you kidding me? It's not a good day for military support programs!

http://www.freedomteamsalute.com/

Thank you for your interest in the Freedom Team Salute (FTS) Program. We have been proud of the accomplishments of FTS—however, due to the Army’s multiple competing missions and demands on resources, FTS will cease operations at the end of February 2010. In order to allow time to process commendations before the program ends, FTS will stop taking commendation requests after 11 February 2010.

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Find Your Escape...

I promised a happier post and here it is! This is something that my husband and I have thought a lot about lately. As we prepare for him to leave, we want to make sure we have things that will help time pass a little easier for us here! Of course there will be the everyday things like school, church and family get-togethers....surviving. But we both want something to do that will bring a little happiness into our lives while we're apart. So after a little brainstorming we came up with something that will not only help pass the time, but we will also be able to share it with one another!

I am a photographer and though my husband won't call himself that, he does it as a hobby. We've decided that we will be taking a picture a day (atleast). It can be anything at all. But it has to something that we put a little thought into. Something that means something to us, if it stirred a certain feeling, provoked a certain thought or just reminded us of each other. We'll be posting the pictures on a blog that we can share with each other and our families. We know he won't be able to post everyday but we'll be able to share all of the pictures with each other when he gets back! It's a passion of ours that we can share, not just with each other but with our families too! I can't wait to see the world through his eyes! It might seem like a very small thing, but to us it will mean the world.

This could have been many things for me. Writing, drawing, sewing. Photography happens to be our favorite escape from our everyday...but what's yours?


So as husbands prepare to leave, think if you have something that you like to do to take your mind off the stress? Something you do that erases the worry, even if for a second?

My advice to you is find your escape. Find what you love to do and just do it. I truly believe that it will benefit you, your family and the overall well being of those around you. We all need something in our lives that help us escape for a moment. Find something that brings you joy and share it with your soldier, it might be just what he needs to escape from his everyday too!


God Bless, Cindy

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AFAP Conference 2010: Power of Change

AFAP just celebrated 25 years in the making. Did you know that programs like BOSS were invented by AFAP people? AFAP was designed to help the community to be better by taking ‘normal folks’ within the community to develop and create a solution for the problem(s) presented to them.

Much like Lean Six Sigma approach, I’d say AFAP is similar. Whether the Army likes it or not…they are a customer service entity. We had to define the problem, analyze why it’s a problem, and find ways to improve it. At the conference, delegates are actually calculated and placed within a group. You can have active duty (married), single soldiers, retirees, DA Civilians, and Family Members from all ranks. Well-rounded think tanks—I’d like to call them…so that they may represent the entire community.

You know those AFAP comment cards you filled out before the 8th of February, 2010? Every single one of them was read—depending on the category they fell under. So what did we do with them?

First we analyze all the issues submitted and brainstormed which are our top 2-3 issues to concentrate on…believe me- two or three is enough in the little time allotted. These two or three issues become our most important and top priorities to discuss for our community and/or in general -the Army itself. Our group actually took a day and a half to just decide on our top two!! (I know our facilitator was very nervous!)

Once we had our top two selected the ball started to roll. One of the advantages of being in the AFAP conference is being able to request ‘Subject Matter Experts.” Yep, you got a problem with AAFES you can request the AAFES Director to come in and interrogate them. Make them come to you.

In our case, one of our issues was the cleanliness of our community in general, mainly the role of building coordinators, so the subject matter expert was the infamous CSM. Ok, we didn’t actually interrogate him, but we were able to find out the whole process of who, what, and when selects building coordinators, and figure out where the breakdown or where (the issues) are being made at (in hopes to repair the issue). It’s a great ‘tool’ to have the subject matter experts to come in and discuss the issues at hand.

Next, we discuss and put forward our recommendations to IMPROVE the situation. Now the whole point of the AFAP conference is one tiny little sheet called the “Issue Report.” This paper has to be in (their) correct format-free from blemishes. It’s like turning in a 300 word paper in APA style (except on steroids) –it’s that tedious.

If the ‘Issue Report’ is not clear and concise—it’ll just get thrown out. We have to make it clear enough that anyone outside the military community can comprehend the issue, know why it’s an issue, and think that our recommendations are AWESOME!

At the end of the three-day conference, the ‘Issue Report’ are briefed to the CSM and Lt. Col.---to see if they like your recommendations or not…but at least our voices are heard right? So hopefully most of the recommendations put out will in fact improve our community. Who doesn’t want that? Well, another AFAP conference down—now I know why people only do it once! But, I suppose if I do it again, does that make me an AFAP junkie?? It’s definitely an experience and anyone can volunteer to attend. Hey, maybe I’ll see you next year’s AFAP conference.

Go here to view photos from the AFAP Conference 2010.

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as mystery leaves,it's shared experiences that remain.

this year will mark 10 years that i met and fell for my soldier and this past year marks the first time that he has been home for 2 years in a row. every year he is home, he has either just come home from being deployed or we are getting ready for him to deploy and we are always in the honeymoon phase.

it's because of this that aspects of our lives are still mysterious to the other. i was reading one of my favorite authors a while back. she described an incident where one day she is folding laundry as her husband is "indisposed". their dog managed to pop the door open to the bathroom thus giving her and her husband a good view of each other as they went about their activities. the shame and horror that passed between them was foreign to me so i laughed and laughed feeling very smug. until it happened. granted it wasn't me on the throne, but it was still highly embarassing and i wanted to apologize profusely but knew he just wanted it to be forgotten. i don't feel so smug anymore. as much as i have divulged awful, shocking, humiliating experiences to her i can't really talk about it to my best friend here, because as much as it scarred me, i can't bring myself to put that out there.

it seems as if the normal things that happen within couples, we are still experiencing due to the fact that he is home every other year. i am in shock to how much we are still learning about each other, and even after the awful humiliating things that pass, those same experiences bring us closer. i used to think some mystery in a relationship was good, and it is. what i wasn't prepared for though was not being in control of which mysteries get drug out into the light of day or the look on his face as i walk in on him midswipe.

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MyCAA accounts are Shut Down??

Another military spouse (a friend) posted the link from FaceBook to the Army Times. The title of the article is Spouse tuition aid shuts down without warning. So here I am spreading the news, in case you were wanting to use MyCAA in the upcoming registration. ---As far as I can gather, it's a temporary freeze on the accounts, but that still leaves me to pay out-of-pocket $654.00 USD.

Like most people, I just can't give away six hundred and fifty bucks, but thank God for a savings account. Yes, I know ultimately I am the one responsible for the payment, but when you have a 'recruiter' I mean a college university representative saying...Yes, apply for MyCAA --once you get approved, it will pay for the class...so here sign up for the class on-line.


And like the article stated, I also called MyCAA and they basically told me the same thing...gave me other resources for financial aid---all of which will not help me fund this current class I am taking. A very expensive lesson learned; all $654.00 dollars.

Oh well, don't get me wrong, I think it's still a fantastic opportunity for spouses to advance their degrees, but when MyCAA gave me no warning at all of the freeze and leaves me and other spouses hanging...they are putting PLENTY of military spouses in debt rather than helping by advancing their education.


So if you were planning on using MyCAA funds to help your education advancement, I would suggest to look elsewhere--at least for now...

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Here we go...

It's been a while ladies. A long while. I have a lot of emotions flying around so I thought I would jump back in and share some of them here. There have been babies, schools, promotions, moves, deaths, more moves and...life since the last time I wrote.

I'll try to keep this short. I'm very tired and there's a good chance I'm not going to make any sense. Right now, it's late at night and my baby is wide awake. My two other babies are sleeping in my room on a blow up mattress because of double ear infections. My sweet husband is asleep in our bed. He's still here, sleeping in our bed.
We're getting ready for his deployment. It's coming up so fast, much faster than I thought it would. There's still a lot of training between now and then. Oh the training. So much training. It's bittersweet. I'm grateful for the training. The training that will get my husband through this deployment and back to us safely. The training that takes up our precious time with him. The training. I'd like some training myself right now.

My husband and my brother are both deploying together this time. That again is another bittersweet fact. It brings me both comfort and sadness. I'm grateful to be together with my sister-in-law in this. She's a strong woman and I feel truly blessed to have her. So many of you ladies have gone and are going through this, God bless you. I need my Heavenly Father right now. I'm going to need him as I try to explain to my kids why daddy is leaving and for how long. I'm going to need Him as I help pack the bags and wave goodbye. I'm definitely going to need Him.

You ladies are strong. I hope and pray to get through this. I'll post something a little more upbeat next time. I needed to get this off my mind. God Bless, Cindy

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The Gratitude Project!

SUPPORT OUR TROOPS AND GOD BLESS THEM ALL!

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Valentines Day Quotes

As I searched the internet today to find the best quotes for a little project I was making for my husband of 30 years. I was thinking that not only would I give him these, the thoughts of people on marriage, but I would write him a note, about how we have lived these together. I thought I would share some in case you are like me and have waited until the last minute!

Successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
German Greer

There is nothing nobler or more admirable than when two people who see eye to eye keep house as man and wife, confounding their enemies and delighting their friends.
Homer

Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots.
Hoosier Farmer

The best proof of love is trust.
Joyce Brothers

I am my Beloved's and my Beloved is mine.
The Song of Solomon

Love is not a matter of counting the years ... But making the years count.
Michelle Amand

"Marriage is not a noun; it's a verb. It isn't something you get. It's something you do. It's the way you love your partner every day."

Barbara De Angelis

"Marriage is our last, best chance to grow up"

Joseph Barth quotes

The love we have in our youth is superficial compared to the love that an old man has for his old wife."

Will Durant quotes (American writer and historian, collaborator of his wife, Ariel Durant. 1885-1981) For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. Ephesians 5:31 Married couples who love each other tell each other a thousand things without talking. Chinese Proverb May you have a wonderful Valentines Day, even if your beloved is far away.

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Article on raising Military Kids, and Family Traditionss

http://military-tributes.com/raising-military-kids.php

A good, short but sound article on raising military kids at Military Tributes.com I thought it may be helpful to those who are raising little ones!

I especially like the part about traditions. What traditions, so you have in your family that your kids count on? Our family did a nighttime walk around Christmas time, bundling the kids up warm and pulling them in the wagon to look at Christmas lights. Do you have a special food, activity (like maybe movie night) or holiday?Maybe a special day,like Saturday morning means pancakes? If you do, lets share so that we can all have more ideas to draw on!

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stepping back

Our deployment is coming to an end, but lately things have been a little tough. Nothing serious, just the usual fighting over little things and end of deployment nerves. I was talking to my sister the other day and she reminded me of something. She reminded me how when my husband and I got married, things were so simple, and we didn't expect anything of each other besides what we already have, which is love. We just saw each other and loved each other and that was enough for us. After she pointed all of that out it was like a light bulb went on. Love isn't complicated, people are, and things have been a lot better now that the both of us have backed up a little and kinda blacked out everything else besides how much we truly love each other.

So I encourage any of you who are having a tough time right now to just take a step back and remember what it was like before life got busy. Before deployments, or pcsing, or kids, or car troubles, or money issues, or anything besides the way your spouse looked at you when you first met or the way their words sounded as they were pledging the rest of their life to you. Just close your eyes and remember how simple it all was and how good it felt and cling to that when things get hard. It really makes a world of difference.

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High School Students and Substitute Teaching

I graduated in December with my degree in music education. I love teaching and I especially love teaching music. Well....it's the middle of the school year and there aren't many music teacher jobs open - actually there aren't any. For the time being, I'm subbing at the two schools where I did my student teaching.


I got a phone call at 6 am asking me to sub for the special education teacher. I said, ok. I LOVE working with kids who have special needs. When I got to school today, I was horrified with everyone's reactions when they found out who I was subbing for. Everyone apologized and said good luck. I then found that the students I would be with are more of the students with behavior issues. The aide said we lock our purses up in the filing cabinet - which mine was....until the aide left. She had an appointment and had to leave during the last class of the day a little early. She had to unlock the filing cabinet, but I was in the room.

Apparently, while I was helping some of the students who were trying to do better, some of the others got into the filing cabinet and stole my wallet. Not my whole purse, but my wallet. The thing that has my life in it! I honestly can't say for sure it was one of those kids, but I have my speculations. During this last class, the students were obnoxious (and that's putting it mildly). The aide from one of the other special ed. rooms came in to help me out and they were just blatantly rude to her and didn't care. Anyway, after school I was wrapping up some stuff, writing the teacher a note, and getting ready to leave. I went to get my purse and my wallet was gone.

In my wallet was my drivers license, my debit cards, my checkbook, my military id (which I had just had made), my new social security card, my Macy's card, my Target card, a credit card, my insurance cards, a gift card for Joseph-Beth bookstore, my video store cards, various pictures, etc. I right now have just pennies in my accounts, so I wasn't really worried about that. I was more pissed because I literally just got that new Military ID within the last month - at our January drill.

What really stinks is that because I'm a reservist with the nearest base/post being 90 minutes away, the 1 and only reserve center that does IDs has an appointment only policy and it takes them forever to call back with an appointment day and time. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm seriously stressed about all of this. My head hurts now.

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The Hurt Locker

I watched the Hurt Locker recently , mainly because I had heard it was up for an Academy Award. I have to say that the impact was deep. I learned quite a lot about why our men who have been in combat struggle with the return home, and the adrenaline addiction that I kept hearing about. My son told me that of all the movies he as seen so far,this one is more true to life than most.

Not understanding the title of the movie (maybe i'm too old?) I turned to the urban Dictionary and found 4 definitions for Hurt Locker:

noun. a period of immense, inescapable physical or emotional pain

oun. A figurative place where someone is said to be or will be, if they are getting or expect to be getting hurt

A place where you might find yourself after a long night of consuming alcoholic beverages.

A place where damaging things and evilness is hidden

In it, graphically portrayed, was the incredible tension that comes from being in a life and death situation day by day. I can't really imagine it, even with the movie, but to never know who to trust and to never have a time that is significantly safe, makes me wonder how I would ever be able to fully trust and relax even when it was over.

My heart tore at the scenes of family back home, the discussions between husband and wife, and the heartache of knowing that you " should" want one thing, when another seems to encompass everything that could ever be important. It also showed how and why the closeness between soldiers, truly is a brotherhood.

The scene that impacted me most, was that of a returning soldier standing in the cereal isle of the local grocery store. 500boxes of cereal, didn't jive with the hardships he had just come from. When I told my son that, he said " Mom , that is what we fight for, so that all of you back home can have those 500 boxes of cereal, and all the other things that this country offers, our way of life." Ah, yes. Thank you.

I can't recommend the film exactly. If my son was there now, or my husband, I might want to steer clear of it. But for me, right now, a window into the Hurt Locker, taught me some lessons I won't forget.

If you have seen it, how true to life do you think it is? Do you think it is helpful for those of us on the homefront in understanding our soldiers emotions when returning?

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My life lesson...

Hello Army Wives!

It’s me again….:-)

Army wives understand the concept of “Chosen family” so deeply. With this exciting life of living all over this amazing globe...many of us and/or our close friends have had to leave our dearest family members back home…to start over a million times with our soldiers. My understanding of the term “Chosen Family” began back in the 90s!! :-) Before I became an Army Wife…however the lesson I learned still holds true for me today! Below you will find my life lesson...


When I was a student working on my undergrad degree...I had a very kind and wise mentor. Sadly, while she was away from her family…her brother passed away. She told me that because she was away from her family…her support system was special and different. You see her support system was filled with friends that were in no way related to her family.

She knew I was very close to my family and did not place a lot of faith in many friends. She told me about her experience living far enough away from family that she had to form a unique bond with friends. She found comfort in the family she created through her support system of chosen family (friends). She wanted me to understand the importance of forming such bonds for myself. At first I honestly had no interest in doing so…moving forward with her advice would cause me to grow in a very new direction in my life.

Part of growing and developing as a whole person…meant I would have to take a chance. Sooooooo…I began the new process of trusting my new friends more and more. Now over the years we have become family…yes…a very special family…we chose to love and care for one another without selfish intentions. Through many of our most challenging hours we have stood strong for one another. Sharing with each other things we could never share with anyone else!

Today, I am more than thankful that I listened to my college mentor. I wish she knew today just how much her advice has impacted my life. These days my chosen families still stands strong!!! God has a million ways to bless us…chosen family happens to be one of the most beautiful gifts He created! If you do not have one…I hope you will form one…kind and loving people are all around you. Do not be afraid to reach out to them!!!


Wishing you every kindness~
Tara JW

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FEBRUARY POST WITH THE MOST : Ft. Riley, KS

FEBRUARY POST WITH THE MOST : Ft. Riley, KS
http://www.rileymwr.com/



Bataan Death March Qualifier
2/20/09 @ 730 am.
SOLDIERS only!!!!!!
Visit the Fort Riley FMWR site to see official rules and to register

Send a Sing-A-Gram
February 9-11 from 9am-6pm
The cost is $20 which includes delivery of balloons, candy, and song!
Embarrass a friend or show your sweetie how much you love them!
Delivery to Manhattan, Junction City, and Fort Riley
Call: BOSS at 785-239-8147 to sign up or ask questions

Sweet Heart Dinner and Dance
February 13, 2010 6:30 – 10:30 pm
Riley Conference Center
Social hour with hors d’ oeuvres start at 630
5 course dinner served at 730
DJ and cash bar available
Cost is $15.95/person or $30/couple
Call 784-1000
Tickets are available but seating is limited

Sweethearts Bowl
Feb. 14 – 11am til close
The cost I $25/lane and includes 2 hours of glow bowling with shoes, 1 large 1 topping pizza, and a pitcher of soda
All couples coming in will also receive 1 red rose and a small box of chocolates.
For more information call: 785-239-4366

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Back from leave

Well, my love finished up his training before deployment and had 8 days of leave before I had to drop him off again. This trip was absolutely perfect. We slept in, had the pillow talk that was so missed, ate good food, and just enjoyed every moment of our time together. I tried so hard to not think about the upcoming deployment, but every once in a while it would just randomly pop back into my mind. I have always been the more emotional one, I know that, he knows that, everyone knows that. He is such a man's man. He just takes things in stride and doesn't really show much emotion, so I really have to dig to find out whats going through his head. I think what broke my heart was hearing him describe how much he would miss me. I knew he would miss me, of course, but I had no idea just how much. It made me even more sad to know he would be far away from home missing me. I would MUCH rather him just be able to skip the missing part and just be far too busy to even think about it. I can't imagine him missing me as much as I miss him. It physically hurts at times. I just want this year to go by very fast for us both so we can continue the fun we had together on leave. I'm already counting down the days.

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PCSing Questions

We have arrived at Fort Carson! We've actually been here for a few weeks and have finally found a house to live in. Boxes are unpacked and toys are scattered around the house. Now it's time to figure out our way around this BIG city, make new friends and enjoy our surroundings!!

For some of you more seasoned PCS'ers out there, I have a few questions for you!
1. When you have packers/movers/unpackers at your house, do you feed them? Talk to them? We were blessed with great packers, movers AND unpackers and got to hear MANY interesting stories from all of them!
2. When you're PCSing, do you eat most of your meals out at restaurants? We did and let me tell you, after about 3 days of eating out I was ready for some of Mommy's home cooking!!
3. What is the first thing you try and discover about your new duty station?
4. What is your family's secret to staying sane while staying in temporary lodging? Thankfully we were only in temporary lodging for a week but it seemed longer than that! P.S. Word to the wise, if you ever have to stay in temporary lodging at Fort Carson, do your family a favor a request a remodeled room. We had no idea such a room existed until AFTER we checked out!
5. Do you have any money saving tips you use when you PCS? Between eating out, staying in hotels, driving to your new duty station, things sure can add up!

I can't wait to hear your answers!

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Army Wife Life February 8, 2010

This edition of Army Wife Life discussion is brought to you in partnership with Lucky Army Wives! (www.LuckyArmyWives.com)

Please leave your answers to the questions below by commenting on this post. Listen for Star and Tara's answers on Show 252: Week of Feb 8, 2010 using our AWTR Player in the right sidebar!

Excerpt blog post: To sustain our military force, the Army has armed all recruiters and applicable personnel (generally the dubious spouse!) with a catchy slogan: "Re-enlist Soldiers, Re-Up Families". True to its word, the Army has been pumping money into the Army Family Covenant Quality of Life efforts for over two years. Many posts have upgraded housing, built new gym and dining facilities, and dramatically improved the barracks. We know, we know! The Army must invest in infrastructure to compensate for its generally out-in-the-middle-of-nowhere geographic locations (give a shout-out for Ft. Irwin)!

We’ve been around a while – although we’re nowhere near as old as some of the housing at Ft. Leavenworth – and we’ve decided we’re qualified to give the more famous (and infamous) posts “star rankings” (somewhat akin to those given to the Army leadership). New spouses - consider this a “heads up” when your soldier begins extolling, say, the three-wheeling opportunities at a certain Ft. Polk for which he’s recently received orders; spouses with a few moves scratched into your dining room table – tell us if you agree or if we’ve totally missed the more compelling features of Ft. Leonard Wood!


Discussion Point 1: Ft. Leonard Wood or Ft. Polk?

Discussion Point 2: I don't care where we live as long as I get a house_______________(on post / off post!)

Discussion Point 3: Forget CONUS assignments - I am trying to get to my spouse’s Hooch in Afghanistan!

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Trying to Wrap My Brain Around It

This past weekend, I ended up in a weird place - mentally. DH has been home from deployment since May 2008 - and everyone came home alive. I thought that only 1 or 2 people had come home with injury - boy was I wrong.


DH had drill (or Battle Assembly as they now call it) this weekend and I went to the FRG meeting. It was just me adn the FRG leader - which was ok. The weather had been awful and it was nice to get to know her too. I like making new friends. While I was there, I got to see DH and a couple of the guys I met while they were going through deployment stuff. It was there that I heard about one of my husband's soldiers.

My husband is a platoon sergeant in charge of about 27 guys. He's kinda like a dad with 27 kids. One of his guys had been cross-leveled and deployed to Afghanistan with another unit. This kid is 24 year old. About 2 weeks ago or so, his convoy was targeted by a suicide bomber. He and the other guys survived the blast, but some civilians didn't. He has 2nd and 3rd degree burns on his arms and legs, two busted ear drums, a TBI, and is completely deaf in his right ear. He's in Bagram seeing doctors and specialists. There was even a news story about this one. To add to all of that - even after the blast these injured soldiers still managed to move their buddies out of harm's way and get the area secured.

Laster that afternoon as DH and I were on our way to pick up DSS, we got to talking about how blessed these soldiers are to be alive and how we were thankful that when they came home from Iraq a couple years ago that everyone came home alive. That then led to me saying - and I'm also thankful that everyone's ok too. DH looked at me and said no...that's not true. I had only known of 1 soldier who left Iraq early and was at Walter Reed. Since then, this guy has disappeared. The VA is calling the reserve center to look for him and no one has seen or heard from him - that's a little scary. Another one of DH's soldiers is living at the VA hospital that is next to the reserve center. Another soldier is on 80% disability and unable to do the work he did before.

I had NO idea. DH never said a word to me until now. Two of these soldiers were hurt on the same night in 2 different blasts. DH looked irritated when talking about this one because he had been held back to be the acting first sergeant. My husband could have very easily been one of these soldiers. I'm sure there are more he hasn't told me about. He doesn't talk about that kind of stuff when he talks to me about Iraq. While I'm glad he's talking to me about it, I'm still trying to process it. I am so glad that everyone is home alive, but at the same time it's another Army wife out there dealing with this. I am blessed that it's not me - but it could have been. What do I do? What do I say? Is there something DH and I can do for these soldiers? I'm just trying to process it all. To add to that - it just put me in a weird place.

We had to stop the conversation because DSS was getting in the truck (he's 14) and I know that DH wants to protect him from this kind of stuff. When DH got the orders, DSS asked why he had to go back. It's already been tough on the kids, so we don't talk about it with them.

DH & DSS were going to see Avatar in 3D on the IMAX, so I went to see Dear John. After, I was thinking....maybe I should have chosen a different show. With the conversation we had just before going to see this.....I sobbed through the whole thing. I had read the book years ago - and cried through that - but I just sobbed. I was watching it and I could identify with some stuff. In the scene where John & Savannah are together (intimately - in the barn) while he's home on a pass before deployment, she's crying after being together - I remember that. I then start thinking about how deployment has changed so much for us. I've always been emotional - but now I'm even worse. Sometimes in church on Sundays, certain hymns - I jsut start to cry - and I can't help it - the tears just come.

I'm just trying to warp my brain around everything. It's put me in a weird place for a couple few days. I LOVE being an Army Wife. I wouldn't trade this for anything else. At the same time, I'm trying to mentally deal with all of this. How?

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Dining Out Decor and such

I've been with my husband for 4 1/2 years and we've only been married since May. He's a Reservist, so getting involved with the FRG has been harder - especially with us being dual military (sometimes my reserve weekend falls on the same weekend as his). I've finally stepped up to get involved. Now I am helping with the dining out, so I need some suggestions for what kind of centerpieces to do for the tables and other decor so that it doesn't look plain. Any ideas or suggestions out there?

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Fonder Heart, Crazier Brain?

Yesterday afternoon I stopped at the Commissary to grab some things and I found myself in the health and beauty aisle. Without thinking, I grabbed my husband's brand of body wash, popped it open and inhaled deeply. The next thing I knew I was clutching the bottle with tears running down my face. I rushed out of the aisle and quickly paid for my purchases.

Later that night I sat down to watch a movie about a woman who had a crazy stalker. I was shaking my head, thinking "how crazy is that guy," watching him dance to a song in a little closet filled with pictures of the woman. At that moment I looked up and Flat Daddy, and felt slightly crazy. I mean, I have two of my soldier's dirty brown t-shirts zipped tightly in a plastic bag, so I can smell him. I was sniffing his body wash in the grocery store crying. I am guilty of leaving the clothes he left on the bathroom floor so I can pretend he is still here and occasionally I slip some of his clothes in the laundry basket so I can fold them. I have not danced with Flat Daddy, but the thought occurred to me. Once, when I was making one of my kids' beds, I hugged his Daddy Doll tight and occasionally I have conversations with the various Daddy Dolls that inhabit our house.

I know I am not a stalker, but I still feel a little crazy sniffing his aftershave and sleeping with his t-shirts (this is a rare treat, heaven forbid I lose the stink from the shirt.) I think deployments are making me crazy! If he was here I would be using barbecue tongs to put his PT clothes in the laundry, but in his absence I am sniffing the armpits of his dirty t-shirts to feel closer to him. I know they say that absence makes the heart grow fonder, I guess you can add that it makes the brain a little crazier.

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Time Out

I need a time out, five minutes to step out of this deployment. I feel like the quarterback in the last 15 seconds of a major game signaling time out, frantically trying to pause the game. I am overwhelmed, exhausted and stressed out, I need to take a knee. My children sense this in me and instead of backing away, giving me some space, they seek reassurance that everything will be okay, needing hugs, wanting attention. I love them and I want to help them, but I am being swallowed up by this deployment, weighted down by stress and sadness. If I could just step away for a couple of minutes, freeze time like the main character in a bad sitcom, I could catch my breath. I need a minute to collect myself, find my cool (I lost my cool about two months ago,) readjust, maybe change the game plan. Instead I feel like the fire hose is on and I can't take a breath. I know I will make it through, but it hurts so much. I need a break from the hurt. Everything reminds me that he isn't here and our children are hurting and sad. My heart is heavy.

Time out please, Ref, over here, time out!

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ARMY WIFE

This was shared with me by a friend (Thanks T!) - and I knew immediately I had to share it here. This piece is a beautiful reminder of who we are, what we do, why we do it and that There's Strong and then There's ARMY WIFE Strong!

ARMY WIFE
Lots of moving...
Moving...
Moving...
Moving far from home...
Moving two cars, three kids and one dog...all riding with HER of course.
Moving sofas to basements because they won't go in THIS house; Moving curtains that won't fit; Moving jobs and certifications and professional development hours.
Moving away from friends;
Moving toward new friends;
Moving her most important luggage: her trunk full of memories.

Often waiting...
Waiting...
Waiting...
Waiting for housing.
Waiting for orders.
Waiting for deployments.
Waiting for phone calls.
Waiting for reunions.
Waiting for the new curtains to arrive.
Waiting for him to come home,
For dinner...AGAIN!



They call her 'Military Dependent', but she knows better:
She is fiercely In-Dependent.

She can balance a check book;
Handle the yard work;
Fix a noisy toilet;
Bury the family pet...

She is intimately familiar with drywall anchors and toggle bolts.
She can file the taxes;
Sell a house;
Buy a car;
Or set up a move...
.....all with ONE Power of Attorney.

She welcomes neighbors that don't welcome her.
She reinvents her career with every PCS; Locates a house in the desert, The Arctic, Or the deep south.
And learns to call them all 'home'.
She MAKES them all home.

Military Wives are somewhat hasty...
They leap into:
Decorating,
Leadership,
Volunteering,
Career alternatives,
Churches,
And friendships.
They don't have 15 years to get to know people.
Their roots are short but flexible.
They plant annuals for themselves and perennials for those who come after them.

Military Wives quickly learn to value each other:
They connect over coffee,
Rely on the spouse network,
Accept offers of friendship and favors.
Record addresses in pencil...

Military Wives have a common bond:
The Military Wife has a husband unlike other husbands; his commitment is unique.
He doesn't have a 'JOB'
He has a 'MISSION' that he can't just decide to quit...
He's on-call for his country 24/7.
But for her, he's the most unreliable guy in town!
His language is foreign
TDY
PCS
OPR
SOS
ACC
BDU
ACU
BAR
CIB
TAD
And so, a Military Wife is a translator for her family and his.
She is the long- distance link to keep them informed; the glue that holds them together.

A Military Wife has her moments:
She wants to wring his neck;
Dye his uniform pink;
Refuse to move to Siberia;
But she pulls herself together.
Give her a few days,
A travel brochure,
A long hot bath,
A pledge to the flag,
A wedding picture,
And she goes.
She packs.
She moves.
She follows.

Why?
What for?
How come?
You may think it is because she has lost her mind.
But actually it is because she has lost her heart.
It was stolen from her by a man,
Who puts duty first,
Who longs to deploy,
Who salutes the flag,
And whose boots in the doorway remind her that as long as he is her Military Husband, She will remain his military wife.
And would have it no other way.

--Author Unknown

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Dear John~ gone so long

When my “Johnny” comes marching home, he’ll have me to come home to, for better or worse. Each deployment has been greater than six months and this is our fifth. As if that weren’t enough, there have been separations for annual training, schools, TDY, and ill-fated PCS timing. How many days, exactly: I know I’m not alone when I say, “I can’t count that high” or “I’ve stopped counting.” But each time we rolled out the red carpet upon his return.

We'll give him a hearty welcome then, Hurrah! Hurrah!
The men will cheer, the boys will shout
The ladies they will all turn out
That joyful day when Johnny comes marching home
Twill be so good to have 'em home
They've been so far and gone so long
What a joyful day when Johnny comes marching home

“So far and gone so long”: Yes, the other side of the country and for days, into months, and years. Our HEA (happy ever after) is stuff dreams are made of, books and songs and poems are written about. It’s been a true military romance that adds a chapter with each passionate good-bye and returning embrace. But it’s one story, one military couple, and one tough, gritty lifestyle that has been paid for with tears, sweat, and bended knee again and again, and sooner or later, again. Furthermore, it’s only one way to write the story.

I’ve been around enough to know that’s only half the stories. In fact, more personally, that only accounts for half my husband’s romancing or his story as it were. Rumor has it that he was a recipient of a “Dear John” letter that broke his heart during his very first time away from home. An Army girlfriend turned and did a “Savannah” on him. In years since, we’ve witnessed girlfriends and wives fall by the wayside for other soldiers. DH has signed leave paperwork knowing full well the turmoil a soldier was going to have to endure on his R&R. Some fellows of his have gotten more than “Dear John” letters on deployment; they’ve gotten divorce papers. That’s the cold, hard, ugly truth. It happens.

Knowing this, it was with intent (on seeing the motivation behind the letter writers) that I picked up Nicholas Sparks’ "Dear John" in paperback a few months ago. For me, I viewed it as a case study. I’m not a natural fiction reader. (And I’ve only recently learned of military romance as a category). I prefer non-fiction, but the military scenario hooked me and with the reality of “Dear John”s being on my heart, I cracked the cover. The story of John and Savannah did not disappoint me. (I had no basis or expectation for HEA.) I was swept away, enthralled, heart-broken, and floored.

It read like Real Life. In this case: Ugly and Cold but Untrue. (I double checked: 1. Soldiers—Fiction. 2. Long-distance relationships—Fiction.) I won’t go into specifics. I fear I’ve spoiled it already for those who haven’t read it, but not any more than the given title I hope. My experiences lent themselves to seeing how Savannah and John couldn’t make it work and even understanding it. It did not anger me as it did one Amazon reviewer who felt they wasted their time. It saddened me to know that this fiction book played out a non-fictitious theme still being played out centuries after the first “Dear John” letter.

Not all the ladies turn out. A salute isn’t always rendered for a job well done. Some take themselves out of the mix for a myriad of reasons. The sacrifice of time and youth is too much. It doesn’t make them all wrong. Some “Savannah”s go on to other good causes and grow up and “show up” for different relationships, ones that are in a whole other romance category. That is the lesson that I came away with.

A friend that I lent the book to had her own take. She, being the lover and wife of an airman, was angry. She’s also a hopeless (sorry) romantic who’s betting Hollywood will save the day and John and Savannah will make this a true military romance and not just another bad news story, a casualty of 9/11. I pray not. Life is messy. Military life is messier. And I’d be lying if I didn’t end by saying that once or twice I’ve contemplated a more simple life, one of a teacher or a grocer’s wife. As a couple, we’ve even fantasized about a “Dear Army, We’re moving to Canada” life.

So, while I didn’t expect it to be a controversial book when I shared it with my
friend and others, upon further thought, it makes sense. "Dear John" is a controversial fiction book whose story hits real close to the non-fiction dealings of a controversial life. I have no want, basis or expectation for the movie to be any different.

Written in effort to show AWN's support of the new Romance Roll Call blog the above was my "guest blog entry". Romance Roll Call is written by military writers for fans of military romance, in all its forms. Maybe the blogger has military experience. Maybe they write military romance. Maybe they’re a spouse, looking for a way to connect with other military spouses. Romance Roll Call exists to focus on our military romance genre.

If you’re interested in blogging on Romance Roll Call or have a military themed novel that you’d like to promote, please contact Jessica Scott (jessica AT jessicascott DOT net) for scheduling.

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Household 6 Tips: Time Management

Hi All, this is Janet, your Army Wife Network Household 6 coming at you with some more Family Manager Time Management tips as promised on Army Wife Talk Radio! On the show we talked about how you can get a lot done by grabbing and using small increments of time rather than trying to block out a large chunk of time to accomplish something. Taking 5 minutes here or there several times does start to add up and before you know it you have finished your task!! I know, you are probably saying, "What can I possibly do with 5 minutes of time". Well I have a few answers for you!

What you can accomplish in 5 minutes:
1. Sort through a junk drawer
2. Clean out your medicine cabinet
3. Sort through clothing one drawer or shelf at a time
4. Purge through a basket of magazines and catalogs and toss old ones
5. Remove clutter from one surface area in your home
6. Wipe fingerprints off a few doorjams and light switches
7. Check the batteries in your smoke detector
8. Throw in a load of wash
9. Fold a load of laundry
10. Sew on a button
11. Empty waste cans and take out the trash
12. Vacuum a room
13. Sweep the front porch
14. Water Plants
15. Check the air pressure in your tires or check your oil
16. Call to make an appointment
17. Sort Mail
18. Pay a few bills
19. Answer an email or two
20. Purge your email inbox or clean up computer files
21. Add new contact information to your family phone book
22. Make a To-Do List (Daily Hit List)
23. Put DVD's or CD's back in their cases
24. Pick up some toys or clutter in your family room
25. Do some crunches, push-ups, or leg lifts
26. Take some vitamins and drink a big glass of water
27. Moisturize your face
28. Write a Thank-You note
29. Give your kids a hug!
30. Give your soldier a kiss!

Those last two are my fav's, lol! So lets get crackin ladies and make the most out of the MINUTES of our days!!! Good Luck!

HH6 Janet

P.S. Stay tuned for more tips and tricks here on The Loving A Soldier Blog and AWN!

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Military News: Patriotic, active kids suffer less deployment stress

Military News: Patriotic, active kids suffer less deployment stress (Click the title for the link)

As I read this report, I was thinking about what Paula and I have always believed, and the premise on which we wrote our books for military kids... patriotic kids cope better.

When we named our books We Serve Too! This was the very thing we wanted kids to know!

When kids know that the sacrifices they make are for the good of the country, and that their parents are making a difference in the world, they can accept the ups and downs of deployment and reunion.

Help your kids by letting them know that what your family does is important, the sacrifices are appreciated by your nation (and despite what some would say, this is the truth)!

Thanks to you and your families, our Military kids can stand proud and know that they are part of the honor and defense Military Families provide. You are the best of America!

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Army Wife Network Newsletter, Feb 2010

You can sign up on the sidebar for blog updates, show announcements and newsletters right to your inbox. Or for February's newsletter, just click below. Anywhere!

Enjoy this month's newsletter as we contemplate our passion and Tara spreads some loving care package ideas; Enjoy, Star Henderson

Our downloadable newsletters are in a printable format in order that you may distribute--easily--to your spouse clubs, family groups, your chain of command and concern, and others within your Army Wife Network. They are two-sided, single sheets, which offer the best resources, URLs, and articles we gather each month.

They are created and copyrighted by Army Wife Network,
but they are YOURS to personalize and circulate.

There are small editable text boxes for you to update your local network on calendar events and contact data.

You can brand it with your name as subtext to the Army Wife Network name.

Send the issues home with the service member, post them on unit bulletin boards, email them to your distro list, or post them to your Web site. Tell us the ways you've found best to get the word out. We can share that as a "hot tip" in our next newsletter.


Happy Valentine's Day fellow Household 6s!

Love is in the air! Though, come to think of it it's every day that love is in the air for us, isn't it? A fellow Army wife once said that our Army lives are full of passion. "Military wives live lives full of passion. The goodbyes with teary, long kisses; homecomings that make your heart skip a beat just like you were dating again; the first kiss after a deployment; having your heart ache with loneliness; getting really angry when something breaks and your man isn't around to fix it....

Strong emotions make you feel more alive than most people ever feel when they get into a marriage rut."

Check out what else she has to say on our blog!

The hardships of being married to the military have become a feeding ground for mainstream media lately. It's disheartening that the media only covers the hardships, deaths, and destruction of war. While it is a war to the American public, it is life to a military family, and life must go on. Admittedly, there are hardships, but there are many strong marriages out there amongst military families. With all things in life there must be both positive and negative or things just won't work. It's hard though with all of the vultures flying around, to not wonder if your military marriage might end up as just another statistic. Just remember, it doesn't have to be.

When things get tough, the tough get going! Staying connected means staying in touch and making an effort to make your communication meaningful and purposeful, if you're apart or if you're together. We Army wives discover new and exciting ways to stay connected to their spouses every day , even if they aren't making the nightly news.
We invite you to share with us this month on Army Wife Network. We've got some great stuff for you to get your marriage sparks flying! Start with some relationship advice in our relationship column area and then head over to pack up your Valentine's care package .

Have a super month!

Your "Lipstick 6",

Tara Crooks

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Thank you Mr. Thank You man!

Driving into work on post today, there was the normal line of cars waiting to get through the gate. I was maybe 5 – 10 cars deep. Not too bad for a Monday morning. As the line slowly crept forward, I noticed a man kneeling on the side of the road with a sign, just on the outside of the fence. He looked much like a homeless man with the sign we sadly have become a costumed to, “will work for food”. He had on a big bulky coat, braving the 30 degree weather. Something caught my eye other than the fact that his sign was fluorescent green. There were two simple words hand written on both sides. Simply, Thank You! My eyes immediately began to tear up. I was ready to discard this poor soul on the side of the road, engulfed in my own little world of getting to work on time. The mere fact that this one man was willing to take time out of his day, in the cold, just to say Thank You to our brave men and women warmed my heart and humbled me at the same time. Its people like that that make what our heroes do it worth it, at least to me. So I say to you Mr. Thank You man, THANK YOU! Thank you for supporting our troops!! Thank you for waking up early and standing outside of our gates to make sure your voice is heard. Thank you for kneeling on the cold ground like our deployed Soldiers do. Thank you for simply being there. Thank YOU!

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