Army Wife Life: June 29, 2009

This edition of Army Wife Life discussion is brought to you in partnership with Lucky Army Wives! (www.LuckyArmyWives.com)

Please leave your answers to the questions below by commenting on this post. Listen for Leah & Star's answers on Show 220: Week of June 29, 2009 using our AWTR Player in the right sidebar!

Excerpt blog post:

Are you a fairy? Do you carry a magic wand? Do you consider yourself to have many magical friends, like: the dishwasher load and unloading fairy, the washing machine loading fairy, the transfer the clothes to the dryer fairy, the clothes folding and putting away fairy, the grocery buying fairy, the dinner making fairy, the drop off and pick up the kids from school fairy, the pick up the toys fairy, the bed making fairy, the haircut appointment making fairy, the doctor appointment making fairy, the pick up the mail fairy, the pay the bills fairy, ……….the list goes on and on? Does your husband think you possess magical powers?

Man, I wish I had a magical fairy to help with all the “to do’s”. That brings us to our talking points tonight!


Discussion Point 1: If you could wave your "Fairy wand" and be any fairy in the world - which would you choose to be?

Discussion Point 2: Again, with the wand - if you waved your wand in the direction of your home...what would happen?

Discussion Point 3: What does a fairy wear - what does your fairy look like?

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I got a job!.... Yepeee!!!.... Yepeee???

Yeah, I got a job! Finally! It took me 4 months to find one... ONE.... 4 months... that's a first! (It never took that long before).

At first, I felt a kind of proud of myself to have reached my goal (at least one of them).
Being a "non-citizen" disqualifies me automatically for all GS- and most of the contractor positions (govermentjobs). That means, the only positions I can apply for "on-post" are NAF (non appropriate fund) positions.
Having degrees from an other country doesn't help either.

Anyway I made it - I surmounted these additional obstacles.

This feeling didn't last for a long time - honestly.
Being well overqualified, getting yelled at from customers on a regular basis (because they need to vent i suppose) and most of all being underpaid, troubled my joy after a few days already.

That made me think more generally:
How come, that there are jobs out there - and even worse on a military posts/bases!! - which pay a minimum wage of 7.25 $ / hour (in the state of Georgia)?

A little calculation:
A monthly income for a 100 % job based on 7.25 $ / hour =>
160 hours/months x 7.25 = 1160 $/ months or 13'920 $ /year .. pre-tax (!!)

Here a chart from the U.S. Department of Health & Human Services
2008 HHS Poverty Guidelines
Persons
in Family or Household 48 Contiguous
States and D.C. Alaska Hawaii
1 $10,400 $13,000 $11,960
2 14,000 17,500 16,100
3 17,600 22,000 20,240
4 21,200 26,500 24,380
5 24,800 31,000 28,520
6 28,400 35,500 32,660
7 32,000 40,000 36,800
8 35,600 44,500 40,940
For each additional
person, add 3,600 4,500 4,140

Technically a one person household earning 7.25 $ / hour minimum wage lives over the poverty line...c'mon... could you do it?!?
Isn't that shocking? To me it definitely is.

I found an other homepage regarding poverty in the US:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poverty_in_the_United_States

Me for my part - I'm earning a little more than the minimum wage in Georgia - I continue to get yelled at by customers and learn to not take those incidents personal (that's hard) - and try to stay positive... I got a job! right?!


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poverty_in_the_United_States

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Tonight's MESS HALL - ALL Things Grillin'

Here are the top 3 Grillin’ tips my Soldier would say are crucial to getting your meal just right:
#1) Always wipe down rungs of grill with cooking oil before grilling, this will keep your meal from sticking to the metal.
#2) it’s best to cook longer on a lower heat, then to cook shorter on a higher heat and BURN your delicious fixings.
#3) when possible create a small foil bag with wood chips to smoke in the bottom of the grill, it will add a little pizzazz to the flavor of any meat!

Pulled Pork BBQ
15 minutes preparation
6 hours to cook
• 1 boneless pork butt (about 5-6 pounds)
• For Rub:
• 2 tablespoons paprika
• 2 tablespoons salt
• 1 tablespoon black pepper, ground
• 2 teaspoons cayenne, ground
• For Baste:
• 1 1/2 cups cider vinegar
• 1/2 cup Bourbon whiskey
• 1 cup water
• 2 tablespoons molasses
• 2 tablespoons salt
• 4 Chipotle Chile peppers, finely chopped
• 1 tablespoon red pepper flakes
• 1 tablespoon black pepper
• 1 teaspoon cayenne, ground
Preparation:
In a small mixing bowl, combine all rub ingredients. Coat pork shoulder with seasonings and cover with plastic wrap. Refrigerate 8 to 24 hours.
Preheat grill for medium heat. Place pork shoulder on grill and allow to smoke using hickory chips. Make sure wood chips are soaked and drained before using. Add charcoal and wood chips as necessary to keep temperature at medium, or between 200 - 225°F. Smoke pork shoulder for 5-6 hours or until internal temperatures reach 185°F. Use baste every 20 minutes during the last few hours of cooking. Remember to boil any remaining basting sauce before using it on shredded pork.

Simple BBQ Sauce
Prep Time: 5 minutes
Cook Time: 5 minutes
Serving Description: varies

Ingredients
- 1 cup ketchup
- 1/2 cup vinegar, preferably cider or wine vinegar
- 1/2 cup brown sugar, packed
- 2 tablespoons soy sauce
- 2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce
- 2 tablespoons prepared mustard
- 1 teaspoon ground ginger
- 1 teaspoon garlic powder, or more
- 1 tablespoon canola or other mild vegetable oil
- 1/2 teaspoon liquid smoke (optional)


Directions
• Mix all ingredients together and simmer for about 5 minutes to blend flavors. Will keep, covered and refrigerated, for several weeks or more.

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CNN Salute

I thought that this was TOTALLY cool - even if it is CNN.
http://salute.blogs.cnn.com/

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Summer Book Club

I am sure a lot of you are packing up to head to the beach or the mountains for some Summer vacation!

Our July and August book club selections are great books to toss in your bag to bring along.

July is The Final Salute: Together, We Live On by Kathleen M. Rodgers. Kathleen Rodgers will be with us for the on air book club segment July 6th.

August is A Journal for Jordan by Dana Canedy. Dana Canedy will be with us August 3rd for the on air book club segment.

You can find the books on the book list at www.armywifenetwork.com. When you click on the book it will link you to Amazon. Every book you buy off of the book list through Amazon helps to support Army Wife Network and Army Wife Talk Radio.

Join us in the chat room during the live show and over on the message boards for conversations about the books. Many of our authors have joined us on the message boards!

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Resource of the Week, June 29th

Tune in to Army Wife Talk Radio, tomorrow 8-10pm Eastern
to learn more about Kiplinger's and the BBB's One-stop Guide
to a secure financial future. We'll learn more about scams, deployment
money matters, and investing for the future. See other videos and articles at
http://www.kiplinger.com/money/military/.

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Happy Friday!

Happy Friday out there. I don't know about where you live, but where we are - we had some nasty storms come through overnight. This kept our puppy awake and pacing all night. We now know that he does not like thunderstorms. In addition to that, my husband's son is living with us for a good chunk of the summer. We are nearing the end of week 1. Every time I ask him to do something (i.e. walk the dog, take a shower, etc) he asks Why or says I will but an hour or more later he still hasn't doen it. UGH! My patience is being tested. I feel like I'm in an awkward place - I'm not his mom so I can't discipline him or do what I would do if I were his mom but yet I don't want him to think he can get by with not doing what he's asked to do. His mom asked us to take him for the summer, because she knows that my husband will NOT put up with his attitude (he's 13 almost 14), like he's been giving her. He thought he was going to get to lay around all summer, sleep til noon, and play PSP all day. Then, my husband informed him that he was going to be staying with us. He sees this as punishment. I am TRYING my hardest, but don't know what to do. We bought a family pool pass to the city pool and he's all like "whatever" and is just being difficult. He thinks it's uncool to smile - look at our wedding pictures - only a couple of them show him smiling (which bothered me). Do any of you have teenagers? Can you help me?????

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Renewing My Perspective - Newbie Again!

Oh to feel so NEW again! I've only lived on post for about 6 months (though we've been military for 3 years). I hadn't realized how much of me was becoming jaded so quickly. I am converting most rapidly to a "lightly seasoned" spouse! Ha! That sounds like I'm a bowl of popcorn. Okay seriously though... my Mother, Step-Father and two youngest sisters came down for a visit about a week ago. It was wonderful. I can't believe how much my girls have grown. I hate missing so much of their lives, but I love being an Army wife. I had a BLAST answering all the questions and experiencing everything military through fresh eyes. Why do I hear cannons at 6:30AM? Why are we pulling over at 5pm and listening to this song? Can we try and MRE? What does that "hat" mean? Does that patch mean they are a tough guy? Why can't I purchase ANYTHING on post!? What kind of helicopter is that? Why do they sing the National Anthem before a movie? What does the Warrior Walk represent? Can we ride in a tank? Can we run during PT with the soldiers (those flirty teen girls, ugh)? As you can see the list was ENDLESS! We had a blast answering and explaining alphabet soup (acronyms). I didn't even realize how fluent I was becoming in "Army-Speak". My family was just so excited to live the life. They wanted to taste it, feel it, and experience living on post and being military family to it's fullest. It has really helped to rejuvenate my spirit. I never want to take for granted how unique military life is. If I'm not careful it will pass me by all to quickly. I believe it's truly something to be cherished. I want to thank my family for showing me again with fresh eyes what it's like to be the "newbie". I really need it!

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AWN's Biggest Fan!

This goofy cat above is Jay, my husband. Today my sweet Soldier was headed out to a very important event, but not so quickly that he did notice my new license plate. He was so excited to see how AWN is advertising. He thinks it's the coolest thing that I am now a "cartoon" character. (He's the real CHARACTER in our house!!!) Jay expressed to me this morning how much AWN means to him. That knowing I work for and have the network with the team gives him peace while he is working and away. He knows you girls. Maybe not personally, but he feels like you are all my sisters. You are solid, faithful, strong, supporting, loving, kind friends... sisters. He hears my stories of each of you. He laughs and prays for you when it's fitting. He loves to give his ideas for the scripts; recipes, music, questions. He really does cheer all of us on here at AWN, LAS and all of its supporters. I asked him if I could snap this photo. To capture for all of you the silly joy he has for us. This is my Soldier, our biggest cheerleader! The love of my life.

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Riding Across America For Our Military

RIDING ACROSS AMERICA FOR OUR MILITARY
Saturday, June 20, 2009 at 5:11pmOperation Life Transformed - Riding Across America for our military
HeadQuarters - WoodBridge , Virgina- June 19, 2009


Jeannie Benton, a 51 year old female, has chosen to seek pledges for Operation Life Transformed by pursuing her first cross country bike ride endeavor exceeding 3600 miles.

A dream that sat at idle over 12 years to ride across America is becoming unveiled over the next 6 ½ weeks. Jeannie Benton believed she would ride the distance one day, but she wanted to do it with purpose. It was at the health club about 12 years ago when she started getting involved in spinning and strength training classes that she realized her ability for endurance on the bike. Jeannie began doing one-day cycling events for fun and for charities and it was then that she started to dream about the idea of riding across America ! She is a special education, Para Professional of 32 years and mom of four raised children. Her ride will start June 21st from Astoria Oregon and will end on August 10th in Portsmouth , NH totaling 3625 miles across the Northern United States .

Operation Life Transformed, established in February of 2007, provides access to flexible accredited online certification programs that lead directly to virtual or portable career placement. These services are offered to military spouses and caregivers of the war wounded. We can also extend our assistance to the military sponsor including; active duty, reserve, National Guard and Veteran service members who have unmet needs due to injury, physical/mental disorders or deployment as a result of service in Iraq or Afghanistan . OLT is expecting to see over 200 students graduate with full job placement by August of 2009. In 2008, 86% of all monies donated went directly to OLT’s program.

Please join us as we she makes her arduous journey.

Learn more: http://www.operationlifetransformed.org/ra.html

Follow Jeannie’s ride: http://twitter.com/LifeTransformed

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Li'l Heroes Baby Program (July 6)

Since I have an 8 month old at home (+3 other boys)-- I will definitely be subscribing to their Li'l Heroes Benefit Bulletin!!
______________________________________________


DeCA launches Li'l Heroes Baby Program on July 6

As part of an ongoing effort to emphasize that the commissary is a benefit for the whole military family, the Defense Commissary Agency is launching an exciting new initiative effective July 6: the Li'l Heroes Baby Program.

A new addition to the family brings not only more joy, but also more expenses. As household budgets tighten, the average savings of 30 percent or more customers realize by shopping at the commissary helps families make ends meet. In fact, a family of four can save an average of nearly $3,400 per year by shopping at the commissary, based on October 2008 USDA figures for retail grocery store food purchases consumed at home.


"Customers have told us that the commissary is their most important nonpay benefit, so we want to maintain that by supporting the whole military family as much as possible," DeCA Director and CEO Philip E. Sakowitz Jr. said. "We value the sacrifices these families have made for our country, and hope that the support this program will provide will make the commissary even more worth the trip for them."

The Li'l Heroes Baby Program will be featured on a special section of http://www.commissaries.com that will offer articles from the DeCA dietitian, Lt. Col. Karen Hawkins, and the agency's home economist, Kay Blakley, as well as links to other government sources providing tips and advice to new parents.

The highlight of this new program will be DeCA's newest e-newsletter: the Li'l Heroes Benefit Bulletin. In addition to linking commissary customers to the articles mentioned above, this monthly e-newsletter will provide access to military-exclusive vendor Web pages offering special savings for readers. This information will help you learn how to make the commissary that much more worth the trip for the things your little ones need. Vendors will also be offering special thank-you gifts to subscribers.

For more information on the program, and to subscribe to the Li'l Heroes Benefit Bulletin, please visit http://www.commissaries.com/baby on July 6.


Reference: Commissaries.com
____________________________________________

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I know what it’s like to just want a hug...

Just Say It!

© Tara Crooks

A hug. A kiss. A hello or a goodbye. A smile across the room. A wink. A loving pat. A snuggle or a cuddle. Watching a movie together. Sleeping in on Sunday. Doing a project together. These are all things that are taken for granted on a daily basis when couples are together, but when they’re apart they become the things that are missed the most.

In the book The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, the languages are explained as words of affirmations, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. Using these five love languages applied to a military couple that is separated due to a deployment we see that only two of them are possible– receiving gifts and words of affirmation. Even those two can be hard for some to accomplish across the miles, in spite of budget constraints, or via email. Accomplishing the task of showing love and affection if you or your partner speaks one of the other three languages can be quite a challenge.

I know as a military spouse myself what it’s like to write out a three page love letter and receive a two line “sounds like you are doing good, we’re all fine here” email in return. You know it’s not their fault but at the same time you wonder why you just spent forty five minutes to get a two liner back. I know what it’s like to just want a hug, and no one else can fill in for that hug because you only want it from your spouse. I’ve had bad days where I think everything would be better if I just had my best friend there with me to understand and empathize. I also know that something as simple as mowing the lawn or taking out the trash can be an amazing token of love and that doing it yourself just doesn’t have the same effect. Things as simple as having help bathing the kids, or not being the one who is always driving are the little things that are so undervalued when your spouse is home, but believe me when they are away you know how important those things can be.

Being married ten years has taught me a lot, but nothing could teach me how to deal with separation after separation, deployment after deployment. In search of a way to keep military marriages stronger and communication lines open, I spoke with several spouses on what it means to stay connected and asked them how they did it. We all agree that we need a good healthy dose of “just say it.” Just saying it doesn’t make the time apart easier but it does allow you to express love and admiration across the miles. This is something that you and your partner both have to do in order to be successful, but it can be done.

Jessica, an Army wife of five years says, “When you can’t sleep in on a Sunday together, tell your spouse about how you wish you could. I write in a journal and share it with my husband. I tell him things like remember when we ….and when you get back we can….” You’re not getting to show your quality time together, but you are making an effort to remember those times and make sure that they happen when they return.

Susan, a brand new military spouse, says, “Like most men, my husband’s love language is physical touch. I send him care packages that appeal to this sense. Then I write him love letters that tell him how much I love him and miss him and describe what it will be like to be together again. I know I can’t be there to touch him, but he knows that I want to be and I think that helps keep the spark alive.”

Craig, a soldier for twelve years, says “My wife speaks in acts of service. Normally I would be there for her to do the lawn or paint the house but when I’m deployed I can’t be there. I make sure before I leave that most of my chores are delegated out or I had hired someone to do them. Even though I wasn’t there I took the time to show her how much I loved her by making sure those acts of service were done while I was away. I’m pretty sure it scored me some points.”

There are ways to stay connected and speak the languages of love across the miles. It
might take some forethought, effort, or planning but each of us is capable of rising to this level of communication. When you can’t be there to show it, don’t just not do anything about it. You really need to open up the lines of communication and just say it.

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Attitude is Everything, so how do I change mine?

My husband has been in the field, so I have been getting some deployment practice. Unfortunately, the first week I was slogging through it, barely getting by. I know I can get through the deployment, I just want to thrive, not just survive. At the end of it I want to look back and say that I handled it with as much grace as I could. I have not been graceful so far at all, and we are only in the train up phase.

It occurred to me about half way through when my husband got to come in from the field for Father's Day, that my attitude was the problem. As soon as I heard we would have him home for a day and a half, I was happy and back to handling things calmly and smoothly. The only change was my attitude. Attitude is everything, I just don't know how to change mine.



It is so easy to get caught up in how hard and long deployment is. I need to change my focus and look at this deployment time as positively as possible. I want to take advantage of the time and make the most of it. I am going to make a list of all the things you do when you are alone, like eat cottage cheese out of the container and wear face masks at odd hours of the day. I can watch all the girly shows I want and not feel guilty. I'll leave tampons on the bathroom counter and bras on the door knobs. I want to improve myself some how, take some classes and learn something new.

I do know that I am going to have to take it a day at a time. I have learned from the mistakes I made during previous deployments. This one will be different, but I know that I can do it (I have no other choice.) It is just a year, it could be worse, he could be going to jail for 3-5. It is time for an attitude adjustment and a little perspective!

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Military Family Award Nominations Open Now!

Military Family Award Nominations Open Now! Visit www.militaryfamilyaward.org and nominate your family or a military family you know for the 2009 Military Family of the Year Award! The winning family will receive $1000 and a trip to Washington D.C.

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Stetson Salutes the Military!

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Life Calling

I have been struggling for quite awhile as to what my purpose is within the Army. I realized a couple years ago that it's not for me to be a soldier, although I have about a year left to serve on my contract. One night - a sleepless night before drill - it occurred to me. My calling is to be an Army wife (well that's a duh!) but more importantly it's to help bridge a gap of misunderstandings between soldiers, spouses, and spouses who are also soldiers. This was made more evident to me as I was at my annual training for the last couple weeks. While, at Fort AP Hill, VA I met a soldier from my battalion who is also an Army wife. Her husband had just arrived in Iraq the day we went to AT. My heart just ached for her. I remember not that long ago, how hard it was to go to AT while my husband (then fiance) was deployed. Our BC, XO, the CO, CSM - none of them understand as to what she is going through. When she asked to be excused from AT (something we can get by with in the Reserves) - especially with a two year old at home - they all laughed at her and gave her a hard time. She and I shared a tent for two weeks and got to talk a lot. Matt and I didn't have a 2 year old at home when he deployed, but he did have a 9 year old and a 12 year old. It was rough on both of them. I gave Melanie the info for AWN and hope to see her there soon. Then, the morning after I got back from AP Hill, I went to get my hair cut (I chopped off more than 6 inches!) and was talking to the girl who was doing my hair. I've started going to the Aveda Institute here in Cincinnati because it's less expensive than a salon and the quality you get is amazing because it is a school. The girl cutting my hair and I started talking and I mentioned that I just got back from two weeks of Army stuff. She commented that we had a lot to talk about. She is engaged to a soldier at Fort Bliss. So, she and I began to talk a lot about Army stuff, Army Wife life, and weddings. I gave her my phone number and the website for AWN. I hope to see her on here sometime too. There is NO WAY that this can be called a coincidence or even chance meetings. I truly believe that there was a reason I was sent to AT when I was. I feel like God has placed me at certain places so that I can hopefully be a blessing to other army wives who are struggling.

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TRICARE Behavioral Health Resource Guide

TRICARE Behavioral Health Resource Guide

TRICARE would like to remind beneficiaries about the recently published “A TRICARE Guide: Understanding Behavioral Health.” The 80-page resource is available online to all TRICARE beneficiaries at the TRICARE Smart Site at: http://www.myarmyonesource.com/News/2009/06/TRICARESmart. “A TRICARE Guide: Understanding Behavioral Health” corresponds with two Department of Defense initiatives. The first promotes awareness about post-traumatic stress disorder treatment. The other is an effort to help returning service members by providing expanded counseling services. The guide provides information on seven main topics: TRICARE and Your Behavioral Health; Understanding Behavioral Health; Covered Services, Limitations and Exclusions; Who to See for Care; Getting Care; Your Right to Privacy; and For Information and Assistance. “A TRICARE Guide: Understanding Behavioral Health” is available at http://www.myarmyonesource.com/News/2009/06/TRICAREGuide.For a free, anonymous mental health self-assessment, go to http://www.myarmyonesource.com/News/2009/06/SelfAssessment

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Military Youth on the Move!

DoD Launches New Website: Military Youth on the Move!

The Department of Defense (DoD) has launched a new website, Military Youth on the Move, to replace Military Teens on the Move. This site is a resource to reach out to military youth with creative ways to cope with issues that arise in the face of relocation, such as transitioning to a new school, saying goodbye to friends, and getting involved in a new community. Each page contains age-specific advice on a given topic, answers to common questions, and helpful links for additional information and guidance. To check out the new website, go to http://www.myarmyonesource.com/News/2009/06/MYOM.

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Welcome Little Soldier

Just in time for Father's Day...
Many of you may not know this but my entire family is military. My father is a veteran, my grandfathers, uncles, cousins; as well as my siblings. This beautiful bundle of heavenly joy is my nephew. Born just on Friday to my little brother Glenn. Glenn is an US Army MP. A wonderful young man and soldier. We are happy today because we are celebrating his first child. My precious nephew, Gage Jacob. Welcome to the world little soldier. We are so happy you are here. I had to share with you how adorable he is. He looks just like his Daddy! This is my New "newbie" position... AUNTIE!
Now this newbie has new newbies to learn! Aye yay yay!
Happy FATHER'S Day little brother!

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YEAH!!! It's about time, but 4 children too late...

In case you did not already know, I am so glad that this subject of paternity leave has been approved. From reading the article, it looks like my DH can request for up to 10 days of leave to be re-credited....since our fourth son was born in October 2008. Hope this is good news for all the pregnant spouses out there!!! BTW, CONGRATULATIONS!! :)


Paternity Leave

What is it?

The Army's new paternity leave policy gives fathers additional time to be with their families when a new child is born. The policy, which was signed into law under President George W. Bush on Oct. 14, grants married Soldiers up to 10 consecutive days of non-chargeable administrative leave after the birth of a child. Paternity leave must be taken within 45 days of the child's birth; deployed Soldiers must take the leave within 60 days after returning from deployment. Leave not taken within the established timeframe will be lost.



Single Soldiers who father a child out-of-wedlock are not eligible for paternity leave.

What has the Army done?

The Army recognizes the importance of families being together during significant events such as the birth of a child. It has developed a flexible paternity leave policy that allows male Soldiers to support their spouses during the joyous, but possibly stressful, time of adjustment following the arrival of a new family member. It also provides Soldiers returning from deployments uninterrupted time with their child to begin building bonds that will last a lifetime.

The policy allows Soldiers who have taken annual leave in connection with the birth of a child since October 2008 to request up to 10 days of leave be restored/re-credited to their leave account. Soldiers must provide documentation to support their claim (e.g., DA Form 31 or LES) and submit it through the unit S1 or Personnel Administrative Center.

What continuing efforts does the Army have planned?

The Army will continue to promote this new benefit to the Army community through in-house, installation and electronic media outlets. Soldiers and officers are encouraged to take advantage of this valuable family bonding opportunity and supervisors and commanders at all levels should approve paternity leave whenever it is feasible.

Why is this important to the Army?

Paternity Leave provides greater stability and predictability to Soldiers and their families. By providing a benefit that is increasingly more common in the civilian sector, the Army is building on its reputation as an organization at the forefront of changing societal trends.

Resource:

Ref: ALARACT Message 062/2009, released 10 Mar 2009

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What's this about military tattoos?

I learned something today watching the news and through a bit of research and I figured if I didn't have a clue maybe someone else out there might be enlightened as well.

When someone says the word "military tattoo" or "Army tattoo" to me I think of something that looks alot like the one below.

Or perhaps I might reference the policy on soldiers and their tattoos - Army Regulation 670-1.

So when FOX news started talking about a military tattoo taking place I was at very least, confused. (author note: see Tara watching FOX news on Sat morning thinking that a group of soldiers getting tattoos together made the news - I was like "what?")

Did you know that the military tattoo is a (can be a) traditional ceremony?

The military tattoo has evolved into a farewell ceremony from a 17th century British military tradition. British soldiers would resort to the Dutch bars to drink between battles with the French in Flanders. British military leaders would send out a drummer to march through the streets. The drum cadence signaled bar owners to “doe den tap toe” (tattoo is derived from that Dutch phrase) or “turn the tap off.” The drummer led the Soldiers exiting the bars back to the barracks. The procession of soldiers back to garrison was transformed over time into a ceremony of evening entertainment. (reference http://www.drum.army.mil/)

Usually the tattoo ceremonies include a band, or drummer, as entertainment. The modern version of the tattoo, each outgoing leader makes a few requests from the band. After the musical selections, the leaders have a chance to say a few words.

Here are a few ceremonies I found highlighted on Google.

Robins AFB






Fort Drum, NY

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Get Another Free Banner or Free Jumbo Card

Get Another FREE Banner for your 4th of July Party
or Send a Free Jumbo Card to Your Loved One Overseas!

Military families can always get free banners at BuildASign.com/troops.
You deserve it!

We have given away over 30,000 welcome home banners
(over $2 Million in retail value) to friends and families of troops!
Help us continue to give back by forwarding this message to your friends.

We appreciate all of your kind words and inspiring stories!
Here are a few recent stories we would like to share:

"Thank you so much for the FREE banner for my brother's return from his 2nd tour in Iraq. My whole family was so thrilled with the quality, it had his picture, the flag, the USMC logo and his name. It was so beautiful, it was the best way to show how proud we were of him. We were a sight to see; his mom, wife and sister jumping for joy holding that big beautiful banner that we so proudly carried with us from NYC to Albany to see him return. We saw quite a few families of returning Marines that had ordered these beautiful banners and a few others came up to us and asked us where we got it. We told them about your wonderful FREE BANNER program and to go on line and order one right away!!! Your generosity shows us that there are good companies out there that do understand the sacrifice our service people endure for us all. THANK YOU. "
- Yvonne S.

"I also took advantage of your incredibly generous offer of a free banner for my son who is a US Marine. He returned home from his second deployment in February. It was amazing to drive down Freedom Road the day before his return and see all of the BuildASigns on the highway. They were EVERYWHERE!!! If I had to guess, I would say there were over 100 signs that you and your company so generously provided to our heros. My sign has traveled from Houston to Jacksonville, North Carolina and back twice. My son is re-enlisting and will soon be stationed in San Diego.....and yes, you guessed it...my sign will now be traveling to California!! So I can personally confirm that your signs can travel completely across these United States of America in tact and in perfect condition. My sign hangs on my front porch every day of the year except when it is traveling with me to welcome my son home. Thank you so much for your show of support of our troops."
- Laurie G.

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Books on Bases, Smiles on Faces

Information from Military One Source:

Blue Star Families Kicks Off “Books on Bases, Smiles on Faces”
June 18th, 2009 by Casey S.


An exciting new program for military children is set to launch this summer. Blue Star Families, a non-profit organization of military families, is partnering with Kids In Distressed Situations (K.I.D.S.) to present Books on Bases, Smiles on Faces. This program is designed to make a positive impact on military children through book donation at Department of Defense schools, base libraries, and military-impacted public schools. Thousands of books will be donated across the country in the hopes of reaching as many military children as possible.


Blue Star Families will host a kickoff event in Virginia Beach, Virginia on June 22 as part of the White House Summer of Service initiative with the goal of encouraging summer reading in military children. The kickoff event will include a book reading from special guest readers, as well as a number of craft activities. Each child in attendance will receive a free book from the Books on Bases, Smiles on Faces program. Additionally, other non-profit organizations have been invited to participate and will have the opportunity to encourage volunteerism with their organization as well as promote the programs they offer in support of military families. Organizations expected to participate include: Armed Services YMCA, Fleet and Family Support Centers, Virginia Governor’s Advisory Board on National and Community Service, Navy League, Operation Homefront, and United Through Reading, amongst several others.

To find out more about the Books on Bases, Smiles on Faces program, please visit www.bluestarfam.org. If you are interested in attending the kickoff event in Virginia Beach with your children, you can e-mail programs@bluestarfam.org for more details.

Also, Military OneSource has age-appropriate reading lists with descriptions of the books. Each age group list features books in categories such as “easy fiction,” “more challenging fiction,” “easy non-fiction,” etc. Military OneSource has a large and growing online library, with books for children and adults.

BlogBrigade

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International Law versus Army Recruiters

A U.S. District Court in Oakland last week declined to hear oral arguments in a case pitting international law against U.S. military policy. Judge Saundra Armstrong announced Tuesday that she would decide the case based on briefs and other documents presented to the court for that purpose. “No matter the outcome,” Arcata counsel Brad Yamauchi says, “we’re going to appeal to the 9th Circuit and possibly the Supreme Court.”

At the heart of the case are local ordinances from Eureka and Arcata, two northern California cities, which would prohibit U.S. armed services recruiters from initiating contact with youths under 18, anywhere within city limits. The U.S. Department of Justice first filed suit against the towns, claiming that these Youth Protection Acts fail under Article VI of the Constitution, which makes federal law supreme over contradictory state or local legislation.



In response, the cities filed countersuits claiming that current military policy violates the Convention on the Rights of the Child’s Optional Protocol on Children in Armed Conflict, which the U.S. ratified in 2002. (This is a separate but related treaty to the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child (CRC); the U.S. has not ratified the main CRC.) “When the government enters into an international treaty or protocol, that becomes the law of the United States,” says Yamauchi, also citing Article VI. The cities claim that the U.S. military is in violation of the Protocol’s prohibition on the recruiting of children for military service. Current federal law allows representatives of the armed services to educate high school and college students on military career options, alongside other educational and vocational recruiters at job fairs and the like. To actually enlist, however, one must be 18, or close to 18 with parental consent. This countersuit constitutes the first time since the 2002 ratification of the protocol that the federal government’s compliance with the treaty has been legally questioned.

Judge Armstrong’s decision to forgo oral arguments is widely considered favorable to the federal government’s case. “[I]f anything, it is a negative sign for us because we obviously have the steeper hill to climb,” admits Eureka City Attorney Sheryl Schaffner. However, Armstrong’s decision, which could come at any time, is not likely to be the end, nor is it safe to guess how the 9th Circuit might rule if the case is appealed.

That this case exists at all is evidence of the threat that international law presents to our American way of life. Should the full CRC be ratified, not only federal law, but even state, local and individual family decisions will come under the authority of the United Nations when children are involved. The Parental Rights Amendment is the only guaranteed method to permanently stop international law from interfering with family and state laws.

Full article, please read here.

_______________________

Question: What is your take on this topic??

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Army Wife Life: June 15, 2009

This edition of Army Wife Life discussion is brought to you in partnership with Lucky Army Wives! (www.LuckyArmyWives.com)

Please leave your answers to the questions below by commenting on this post. Listen for Tara & Star's answers on Show 218: Week of June 15, 2009 using our AWTR Player to the left!

Excerpt blog post:

To clap for and give kudos to those of you out there with the time, energy and heart to commit to volunteering. You are most likely your FRG leader's dream come true! Pearl and Mercedes find the volunteer discussion to be somewhat akin to the “stay-at-home mom vs. the working mom” discussion. There ain’t a right answer! Similarly, there are many "camps" of Army wife thinking when it comes to shelling out time and energy for, well, self-satisfaction (and the periodic pretty coin that absolutely does not work in the Vegas slot machines!). We argue that you have to volunteer for intrinsic satisfaction”.

Their thought is basically we are busy women, who love to be even busier. If you’re not already running yourself ragged in an effort to change the world, visit the Army Volunteer Corps website – you’ll find all sorts of opportunities to positively impact the world. That brings us to our talking points tonight!


Discussion Point 1: Do you - or - Don't you....volunteer, that is?! If you do volunteer...where is your favorite spot to share your energy and talents?

Discussion Point 2: Do you consider this statement to be TRUE or FALSE - of you: I am best at volunteering my neighbor as the neighborhood “Welcome” chairperson. I drop off the pretty pink flamingos on her front porch and hand her the address of the latest folks to move in.

Discussion Point 3: Volunteering isn’t without its funnier moments. In looking back through the volunteer annals, we laughed (albeit while cringing a bit) about the reasons some Army wives volunteer……….any non-attribution stories you can share?

Discussion Point 4: What is your very best volunteer motivating advice you give a new spouse?

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Deployment Lessons

Thanks Terri Barnes over at www.deploymentlessons.org for this wonderful "lesson" today!

Just as “Necessity is the mother of invention,” I have learned that deployment is an incubator for the seeds of faith, creativity, determination and strength. It may get a little hot in here, and I may be covered in dirt and — shall we say — “fertilizer,” but the end result, I pray, is growth. Ramstein, Germany

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How/Where did you find your battle buddy?

Finding Your Battle Buddy
© Tara Crooks

Some things are just easier with a friend by your side. Navigating the military journey is definitely one of them. I’m sure you’ve heard your soldier talk about his “battle buddies” that he has bonded with through his service. He doesn’t have to be the only one that has someone who understands what he does all day or that will “have his back” should he ever need protecting. The same can be true for you. You can find your very own battle buddy with whom to share your journey. I’ll tell you how.

Right now it may seem impossible. Finding friends takes effort, time, and it’s like dating – necessary but not always something you look forward to doing. Yes, I know, you have a life to live and the Army is a whole new world with plenty of red tape and complications of its own. Putting yourself out into the mix of the social scene of your post does take some guts, even for the most outgoing and seasoned spouse. The good news is that you can learn to put yourself out there.

I’ve got some tried and true suggestions for ways to meet people and get involved. Some you can even do in your pajamas! You might not believe me now, but I guarantee once you find your battle buddy life will seem so much easier and you’ll wonder how you ever made it on your own without someone who understands this crazy life you lead.

The most basic advice has two main components; 1) Visit the welcome center. It is most likely in the Army Community Services (ACS) building on your post. 2) Ask a lot of questions, but mainly ask for a post and community phone book and map.

That’s pretty easy advice to get you started. There are a lot of things that you can do with that information you just gathered.

Neighbors
Don’t underestimate the power of an instant community and a great neighbor. The Army as a whole is its own community; most likely you’ll have something instantly in common with those that live around you.

The Unit
Every unit has a Family Readiness Group (FRG). Admittedly, some are more functional than others. Ask your husband if he has turned in your information, and ask him to get you the name and phone number of the leader. Call him/her and ask to be added to their distribution list.

Spouse OrganizationsCheck to see if there are any spouse organizations available on your post or in your community. Most locations have an Enlisted Spouses Club (ESC) or Officers’ Spouses Club (OSC) at the very least. Read your local newspaper's calendar of events. If you live near or on an Army post,
local support groups may list their events in the paper.

Religious Organizations
Check the Yellow Pages for your new area to find locations and phone numbers. Call the group for information about meeting times and activities for you and your children.

Volunteer
All Army posts have a volunteer coordinator. Usually this person is located in the Family Readiness Center (FRC) or ACS building. They have tons of opportunities available. If you do not want to volunteer on post or are in a civilian community, volunteer at hospitals, churches, or for local organizations. You can find those with a simple www.Google.com search of volunteer opportunities in your area.

Professional Development
One place you’re guaranteed to be in the presence of other people is at work or school. Check out the local job listings even if it’s just to find temporary or part time work. You could also see if there are any local colleges that offer classes in which you might be interested.

Online
Personal connections can’t be beat, but you can always find support online. Who knows you might find someone that is actually local to you. Visit military message boards and blogs to find out more about this life and how others are integrating themselves into Army life.

Live Life
Believe it or not, there are normal everyday things you can do and meet people in the process. I’ve heard some pretty bazaar stories of how people met, and I’ve had some pretty interesting experiences myself. Work on your to do list by grocery shopping or taking your dogs to the vet.

You never know who you might meet. Check out the YMCA for sports or search for a pottery class in your area. Go out for a night on the town and do some sight seeing and shopping. Go for a cup of coffee at the local coffee shop.

On post ask where you can find the Morale, Welfare, and Recreation Building (MWR). There you can find out about children’s groups/classes, hobby or craft classes, or even scope out the post bowling alley. I’ve even heard of people meeting someone while they were at a doctor’s appointment.

Once you’ve made a friend you’ll have someone to attend events with, ask questions of, and generally feel like you’re not alone in your new surroundings. Even if this person is as new to the Army as you, you’ll still have a battle buddy to trek the journey with you. Remember, some things are just easier with a friend by your side.

Author note: So where did you find your battle buddy? Any suggestions for others?

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Catch this video from Fort Bliss, TX Field Exercise

More video from the event on our YouTube page: www.youtube.com/armywifetalkradio

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To All the "Tough" Daddies

With Father's Day impending on us I wanted to share this video. Seeing the soldier daddies and all their little girls at then end is just so sweet :)

Tough Little Boys
I want to send out a big "Happy Father's Day" to my Army Veteran Daddy! I love you Poppa!

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Volunteer Picnic

My husband and I are continually surprised and impressed with how much Fort Stewart provides! Today, and carrying on through the evening, is our Annual Volunteer Picnic. Our Major General Cuculo will be handing out beautiful certificates to all of our posts volunteers. I think this is something very special. Whether the volunteer has served 2 hours or 600, they will all be recognized for their contribution to our community. It always warms my heart to see soldiers and family members enjoy a fun and joint event to celebrate their hard work. Army life is not always easy, but events like this help us to all be one big family, and it really helps to make our time serving all worth it. For me it's not really about the certificate, but rather about sharing a meal with our unit and brigade. I've been fortunate enough to volunteer side by side with my husband and some of the other medics and soldiers of the 3ID. I know I'm partial but these are the finest soldiers I've ever met. They have given their time to our FRG, BOSS programs, and even to the Special Olympics. Watching them with smiles working with small children, lending a hand to counsel and support one another... these guys are really amazing. Today is a special day for all of us. Volunteering really does keep our post running. I hope if you are not already, you will consider serving in your area too.
A big thank you to All at Fort Stewart for loving on your soldiers and volunteers so much!

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PCS Hint

In this age of privatized housing it is likely that you may be moving into brand new quarters. Do not I repeat do not preheat the oven without first checking to make sure the Styrofoam, plastic, and manuals have been removed. It is very smelly and very messy if any of that stuff melts.

Of course I speak from experience.

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I've Landed on the Moon

I was so excited for our latest PCS, we are closer to family and closer to the beach. I grew up close to where we are stationed now, so I just knew that the transition would be super easy, of course I was wrong. I had my first I want to go home moment when I was walking around the Commissary. Even though the Commissaries sell the same stuff and generally look the same, somehow they all look different. I was trying to find the frozen chicken and couldn't and I just wanted to go home, back to some place familiar. Perhaps the Flat Daddy company should market Flat Friends that you can take with you when you PCS to ease the transition.

I know that in a couple of months I will be zipping through town,knowing exactly where I am going. It took me two hours to drive a forty five minute trip the other day because I got lost in the training area. I know these things take time. I just hate feeling like I've landed on the moon. Everything is so new and so different, I feel strange and foreign in my new surroundings. I wish I could fast forward a little bit past the uncertainty and confusion, but with a deployment coming I am trying to hang on to every second.


I am just feeling sorry for myself, and once I get involved in some things I will feel better about all of this. For now though, I am going to try and make our new home as comfortable as possible.

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Summertime = Safety

Many of you, who have children, are probably on summer break already, but here in Germany, DoDDs schools will end this SY this week. I wanted to blog about Summer time, because it is my favorite season- (well next to Fall time) LOL.

During the Summer months, children are more exposed to danger (inside and outside) the home. For me, having four boys, ages ranging from infant to pre-teen, I have to check from small choking hazards to online predators. This day in age, I feel that we have so MUCH information that is provided for us (i.e. internet) that is boggles the mind! And yet, I feel that we ‘forget’ or don’t preoccupy our minds on the most basic of information: safety for our children.

As many can account, Army posts are notorious for Child abuse/Child neglect concerns. Mostly because we see children (under the appropriate age) hanging around the streets-well into the night. Safety concerns that I have seen personally are that of children playing outside unsupervised (age appropriate), Car safety (children playing in the street and car drivers NOT going the speed limit), bike safety, and the list goes on and on…


The number one cause for death in children is unintentional injury-related death (accidents).

From Safe Kids USA: Preventing Accidental Injury:
• An estimated 42 percent of all childhood injury deaths and 40 percent of all childhood injury-related emergency room visits occur between May and August.
• The vast majority of unintentional injury-related deaths among children occur in the evening hours, when children are most likely to be out of school and unsupervised.
• Among children ages 14 and under, it is estimated that 40 percent of deaths and 50 percent of nonfatal unintentional injuries occur in and around the home.

This is just a friendly reminder to have a wonderful and SAFE Summer! I have included the websites I used for research below. Please feel free to visit them.

American Academy of Pediatrics

Safe Kids USA

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MSCCN Answers: What is Direct Sales?

AWN: Many of my military girlfriends have their own businesses selling various products. Can you explain exactly how Direct Sales works?

MSCCN: This is a great question! I myself have a direct sales business that I do from home and have tried many over the years. What I love about my business opportunity is that it gives me freedom, a sense of accomplishment, and stability in an otherwise turbulent lifestyle. For my family, direct sales and independent contracting was a great way to earn income without the pressures of a traditional job.

According to the Direct Sales Association, “Direct Selling is the sale of a consumer product or service, person-to-person, away from a fixed retail location. These products and services are marketed to customers by independent salespeople. Depending on the company, the salespeople may be called distributors, representatives, consultants or various other titles. Products are sold primarily through in-home product demonstrations, parties and one-on-one selling.”

Above you will find the “book answer” to direct sales. I think of direct sales as a way for an individual to start up a business at a fraction of the cost of a traditional business. This is probably why you will find that many military spouses turn to direct selling. For me it gives a sense of a constant, something that will always be there no matter what, and the freedom to do it anytime. Most direct sales businesses can be done right out of your home from almost anywhere in the world. You are also able to help yourself and others by sharing useful products!

What to know right up front, there is usually a financial and time commitment involved with running your own business. Please assess that you have adequate time and financial resources for the business that you are considering. Research the company and direct sales with the better business bureau and the direct sales association. You also want to ask up front if there are monthly fees, sales quota’s, and understand the commission policy.

How do you choose the right business for you? Ask yourself what you love to do and would do with joy for free? Then research business opportunities that allow you to tap into something that you are passionate about. Know that most business opportunities take time to grow, need attention, and have to work for you! Think of a business venture as a marathon, not a sprint.

Find out more at www.msccn.org

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An Amazing Trip!

I have to admit last week was by far the easiest trip and Field Exercise planned/setup to date. I have to send out a huge thank you to the incredible team at Fort Bliss, TX! I hope that everyone had a very good time. I know I did.

I always walk away from these events in a daze of amazement. I wonder what it is that we do that gets people to the event because frankly, I've seen many events with very low turnout. I wonder what it is that we say so differently than anything else we're told along our journey. The only thing I can come up with is that it's "Army wife to Army wife" and that is just what makes the difference. We do speak the truth and we do offer it up very honestly and bring up some points that maybe aren't covered in some of the briefings that we attend. I won't lie, I know the lure of fabulous prizes is probably what gets people motivated to sign up - but I hope they walk away with much more.

It was amazing to see people meet people in their unit for the first time at our event. To have a woman tell us that she found a battle buddy right there at her table. To provide an opportunity for a woman with six deployments under her belt to network and empower the women with their first deployment on the horizon. That's what this is all about - and it is so enlightening and inspiring to see it actually WORKING!!

I had an awfully fun filled week last week. After the FE we took a moment to tour Fort Bliss. I can't help but say again "I'm so thankful" that I get to tour all of these posts and see/feel what people are talking about when they tell me where they are going to or came from. Neat to know that I have seen some places even my husband hasn't been. Fort Bliss has nice on post housing - the strange thing I noted was the cactus and the rocks for yards. I had never seen that before. They had a very nice PX with alot of vendors and a nice food court. I was most impressed by the Centennial Club. What an AWESOME resource to have in your backyard! Great for events, and lunch, and so much more!

What did I come back with? Well, in true Tara fashion I found out that the PX carried Vera Bradley - don't worry girls I didn't buy them out - but I did come back with a nice little "token" to remember Fort Bliss. The biggest thing though was the smile on my face knowing we brought 300 Army wives a night of relaxation, networking, fun, and resources!

Thanks for an amazing trip!

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What if?

...I am worried about our time together.
(DJ is coming home from pre-deployment training for "one last time",
one last hurrah.)

What if I feel like a broken desert, if deserts can be broken, and if you could even call it a feeling. Mostly I'm just numb.

I keep having fantasies of passionate romance, being spoiled, a glorious week away, and undivided attention. I'm trying to be realistic and practical. I don't want to be setting us up for failure, but I keep wondering how I'm going to make it through this year he'll embark on soon after our short final visit.

The only answer I keep coming up with is one that puts undue pressure on this week, wanting it to compete with the impact that a year away is having and going to have.

I want something wonderful for both of us, something as GOOD as a year away is BAD. Me serving/loving/sweeping him and him serving/loving/sweeping me away all in one week, but I'm afraid my fantasies are hurting and not helping.

And then I'm also afraid that the opposite might happen, and I ask myself, "What if I can't handle the "heat" or attention or togetherness"?

Arrrrgggghhhh, deep breath.

I know you all know how I feel. What about you; what are your "What IFs"?

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Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

Why is it that sometimes ending a friendship is harder than breaking up with a boyfriend or divorcing a spouse? Recently I parted ways with a long time friend who had gotten herself into some unsavory activities. Some people don't get hints or take kind but firm words.

There are "Rules for Engagement" and NATO has rules on how to treat a prisoner of war, where are the rules for ending a friendship? I wanted a clean break and I'm afraid my former friend doesn't get the hint. I'm starting to feel a little stalked.

Everything in this life has a season and so did this friendship. I enjoyed the good times and I'm going to miss her but the separation is for the best. Now if I can just get her to understand this, I'd be doing myself such a big favor !

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PCSing and the human resourses

I wanted to remind everyone during this PCS season to not take the personal side out of researching your new duty station. Sometimes in today’s world of quick answers we come to rely on technology to gain an understanding of a new area. Don’t misunderstand - the internet is an awesome resource and can answer some really great concerns. Just a note of caution, don’t underestimate the importance of human impressions and experiences. After you have found what you think is the best school, pick up the telephone and call the school, I have yet to find a school secretary not willing to share. It is my experience that the school secretary is the best resource for what’s going on at the school. I would recommend you take full advantage of technology when researching, but follow up with a human contact! span class="fullpost">

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My 1st Change of Command

I have officially attended my very first Change of Command. Boy was it no ordinary Change of Command either! (Not that any are less then another.)

Sonja, our resident Foreign born spouse blogger, and I went to the Garrison Commander C of C. It was really a wonderful event. A beautiful morning set the scene over our gorgeous "ROCK OF THE MARNE" field in front of the Commander's Building. Fort Stewart's mascot, Rocky, watched on proudly. The whole event lasted roughly 1 1/2 hours with kind speeches of the outgoing Officer and his family, and introductions and welcomes to the new. Coins and awards where offered, while rich tradition and regulations abounded. The live military band always makes my heart bleed red, white and blue. This was really a "HOOAH" event. Not to mention, we are blessed to have a General who is so much fun! Business when necessary I am SURE, but light-hearted and witty with the crowd. He seems like such a gentleman, and made everyone feel welcomed fully.

Perhaps I am a dork-fish (as many of you who listen to our live shows on Monday nights know I am), but I love to be a part of these occasions. I love being an Army wife! I mean that with all of my heart. I nearly teared up a couple of times listening to the wonderful and encouraging things that leaders shared and said to another. Watching a commanders wife tear up, planning to leave a post where she has invested so much of herself and her life, her family. We all know this feeling... do we not? It touched my heart. I felt for her. I also was excited to think of the next exciting step on their journey too. What fun for them! (Side note: My Soldier and I are from Ohio, just as our leaving commander is. We were excited to read that in the program. Go Buckeyes!)

Fort Stewart is a lovely military community and I'm honored to be a part of it. My husband and I have been immensely blessed to come here as our first Army installation. I'm also honored to be able to attend such wonderful events, with such a wonderful friend, among incredible leaders of our nation.

If you have not attended a Change of Command do not be afraid. I know the idea can be intimidating. Especially for us NEWBIES, but get out there and EMBRACE that newbiehood! Hooah Girls!

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Proud Army Mom

It’s been a while since I updated on my son in Basic Training.

I’ve been hearing a lot about how different it is to have a child in the military as opposed to having a husband serving. I totally agree, it is different, in a lot of ways! I think the one way most of us get stuck on is how different it is when they deploy. I think this is because of the difference we have in the relationship with our children. Everyone would agree the role of a mother is different than that of a wife.
Another way I think it’s different is the since of pride I find I’m having in my son. I’m quite sure no other son in history has accomplished basic training with as much enthusiasm and competence as my son! (JK) ☺ As a wife we live the military life everyday, I’m the other half of my husband and I consider us a team, of course I’m proud of what we do, again – it’s just not the same! At any given opportunity, I change the subject to launch into a story of how my son is just about finished with his “red” phase, and will be graduating on the 23rd of July. Last week, in his second week of the hardest part of training, he called home to let us know, most of the soldiers in his platoon had the flu, how he didn’t score as high as he wanted on his first diagnostic PT test…………….there I go again!
With that being said – he sounded great, I also received a letter from his Company Commander – a standard letter sent to all parents to let them know the basics of Basic Training, that it can be a challenge, and he may call home and be very down on his experience. He also may say he doesn’t like his Drill Instructors, etc…. The letter goes on to say Basic Training is, demanding, stressful and rewarding, that they will prepare him for combat. That it includes rigorous physical training, close order drill, individual tactical training, and rifle marksmanship training. Most importantly, the letter gave my sons address and all the information on Family Day and Graduation!
As my son explained, the next phase in the training will allow for a little more time to call home and a little less supervision from the Drill Sergeants. He also, shared his experience in the gas chamber, he noted that the Drill SGT’s were very particular about doing everything with attention to detail or you had to do it over. He explained how one of his Drill Instructors talked “a lot” without saying anything and again the hardest part for him is keeping his patience with the younger trainees. I understood him to say that there were a few trainees that wanted to quit and the Drill Instructors would actually talk them threw the rough spots and the trainee always changed his mind.
All-in-all it sounds like he’s having a very positive experience.

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Let's get ready!

Growing up in New Orleans, I'm very familiar with hurricane season. (and hurricane parties too, but that's a whole other post ) Until Katrina, neither my family or myself thought too much about Hurricane Season. It was just part of life living in southeastern Louisiana. It was known as the "5th season" in our house.

Of course, we sprang into action when a hurricane turned our way. We ran out and got our supplies (batteries, water, canned food, etc) and bought our plywood to board up our windows.

Then Katrina came along.. and our thoughts completely changed. Katrina took so much away for my family and many families like ours. My family still living in Louisiana have changed their outlook and are much more prepared if another " big one" comes their way.

But for military families living in "hurricane alley " (East Coast and Gulf Coast states) they probably don't have much experience dealing with hurricane preparedness and I don't think the Army does enough to help them get prepared.

Here are some tips for Hurricane Preparedness for Military Families (courtesy of USAA ) :

• Contact the installation Command Post or your unit's Command Section for any particular directions for military personnel, including hosting programs at other military base communities for temporarily displaced military families. Be alert to guidance provided by the Office of Emergency Management serving your area.


• Ensure your unit's Disaster Preparedness Officer, the installation Command Post, or designated Point of Contact knows your anticipated evacuation location, and develop an evacuation and family communication plan.


• Build a communication network in advance with neighbors, friends and relatives, and clarify how you will provide updates on your family's status.


• Create a record of your possessions, including purchase prices, dates purchased, serial numbers and receipts. Keep the inventory in a safe location. Consider consulting with your local JAG office for guidance on keeping these records safe during a major hurricane.


• Check to ensure your property, renters and auto insurance coverage levels are adequate. Also, keep in mind that flood damage is not covered by a homeowners insurance policy. A separate policy to protect against this risk is available through the National Flood Insurance Program.

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Army Wife Life: June 1, 2009

This edition of Army Wife Life discussion is brought to you in partnership with Lucky Army Wives! (www.LuckyArmyWives.com)

Please leave your answers to the questions below by commenting on this post. Listen for Tara & Star's answers on Show 216: Week of June 1, 2009 using our AWTR Player to the left!

Excerpt blog post:

It struck me like a snowball from my ski! My children might not be missing their mittens, but there are some Army wives who are frostbite victims. Before pounding away at you with our expertly formed and aimed snowballs, we’ll concede that Army wives are the busiest women on the planet. Not only do we meet the marital base level requirements clearly inked in the prenuptial (not!) – Cooking, cleaning, laundry, errands - but many of us also do double duty for deployed and/or workaholic spouses. We’re single parents, social committee chairpersons, fundraising experts, car mechanics, etc. And, some of us can add a part- or full-time job outside of the home to the mix as well. Not surprisingly, a lack of time for self-care (wine and cheese for Pearl!) can result in the loss of that snow angel spirit and, in turn, lead us to a frigid place (not to be confused with frigidity!). Suddenly, you’re missing a mitten!

That brings us to our talking points tonight!

Discussion Point 1: When faced with the truth you've lost a mitten you’re most likely to lose: a. your sense of humor; b. your reasoning skills; c. your mind/level head; or d. your manners.

Discussion Point 2: Missing mittens (misbehaving, bad moods etc.) attract all sorts of unwanted attention...describe one situation (WITHOUT NAMES) in which you found yourself surrounded by lost mittens!

Discussion Point 3: Do you think mittens or scarves are more important...why?

Discussion Point 4: What do you do to "keep the frostbite away" in this Army life?

Discussion Point 5: (more of a statement than a question LOL) Do you need to borrow some of the Army's red tape to help keep your mittens attached?

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Read To Live! (Letter from a K¹² Expert)

Letter from a K¹² Expert
"Read to live." – Gustav Flaubert, 19th century French author

So often we hear about the importance of reading and reading achievement that we forget about the simple enjoyment of sitting down with a great book and purely enjoying a story as it unfolds on the pages before us. As summer is fast approaching, my letter to you focuses on uncomplicated gratification and joy that comes from curling up with a good book.


The house I grew up in, and that my parents lived in for more than 35 years, is being sold this summer. As a result, many childhood mementos and photos are slowly being dispersed among my siblings and me. Recently, I was surprised to see how many pictures there are of me with a book in my hand, fully engulfed by what's on the page rather than what's going on around me. Age 6, a family vacation to Cape Cod, I am sitting on a dock reading. Age 8, I am lying in the grass in the back yard, Freckle Juice in hands, feet propped up on the swing set before me. Age 10, a rainy, warm, summer day in upstate New York, I am reading under an umbrella while sitting in a lawn chair in the middle of the driveway.


My favorite though, and the one that means the most to me, is a photo of a typical Saturday afternoon of my childhood – my mother and I together on the couch, each of us with a book before us, again oblivious to the lurking family photographer. Odds are good we had just returned from a trip to the library, and we were both eager to spend time together while immersed in our own texts.

I fully attribute my passion for reading and teaching others to read to my childhood experiences. Seeing older siblings and parents reading for pleasure; taking family trips to the library or getting to go one-on-one with my sister or my mom; books as gifts; extended bedtimes because, "Well, really, she's reading. She's not running all over the house or otherwise making noise; she's reading. Let's encourage that! These events all left lasting impressions on me that shaped who I am today: a reader.

With summer coming, now is a great time to take the pressure off reading for achievement or reading instruction and shift the focus to reading for pleasure and enjoyment. I've spoken, written, and presented endlessly on the importance of being able to read, but this summer, I'm encouraging you to focus on being readers. Books at (or even just below) your students' reading levels, on any topic they're interested in—whether fiction or non-fiction—will allow students to be successful with the text. The books I read as a child weren't always on par with my reading level, but they did hold my interest and kept me going back for more.

Read what your student is reading. When as I was a child—and even now that I'm an adult—my parents both would ask me what I was reading and whether or not they'd like it. Typically they'd pick up my copy when I put it down for a stretch, and this meant a shared conversation about the content or our thoughts and opinions about the text or the author.

Finally, get caught reading for pleasure; bring a book with you wherever you go. While nothing beats interacting with your children and talking with your children, modeling for them that reading is pleasurable and a desirable activity is a great way to instill a love for reading.
The quote from Flaubert is one that I use often; only recently did I learn that it was a part of a larger quote. "Do not read as children do to enjoy themselves, or, as the ambitious do to educate themselves. No, read to live. I hesitated in presenting the expanded quote here. But as I thought more and more about it, I realized that making reading a necessary part of life, like breathing, has a wonderful side-effect: reading for enjoyment or education becomes as simple as breathing as well. Surrounding your student with a love of reading and with the opportunity to read can only result in a budding love of reading that is well worth the effort and support.

With most sincere wishes for a happy and healthy summer of reading.

Kristen J. Kinney
Senior Content Specialist
Primary Reading and Language Arts
For more information on K12, click here

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payment due...

A little while ago my husband and I talked over our "chores", among others: paying bills.

We agreed very fast, that (after living here for a year and starting to understand the system) it would make sence that I take that part over from him.
It would only be logic:
1. I don't work (at least not for money),
2. I will have to take this chore over anyway - latest when he deploys,
3. I am the one who budgets and plans financially.

All these reasons weighed more than my genuine "i-dont-like-to-pay-bills-feeling/attitude".
I really don't like to pay bills, especially for all that "boring stuff" like electricity, mortgage/rent, water/sewer/trash etc. I know, it's necessary ... but I would have so many better ideas how I could invest that money - save it, plan great summer/fall/winter and spring vacations for the two of us, invest it in our future/retirement...

Anyway, a day after we talked my husband brought that topic up again. He told me, that if I didn't mind he would really like to continue to pay the bills.

I thought: "yeppeeee"!! Answered: "Sure!! not a problem".

He explained to me that, paying bills gives him such a good feeling. The feeling of (finally) being able to pay bills on time, being able to make the end of the month and to take care of his family...

Here we are... from two different worlds.... I learned my lesson.

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