Military Spouses, Bloom Where You're Planted!

Bloom Where You’re Planted
© Tara Crooks

Army spouses aren’t usually afforded the luxury of stability. We’re here one year and there the next. The friends we make tomorrow may not be there next week. Our happiness along this journey is definitely a “state of mind” but there are things we can do to bloom where we’re planted.

Uproot
Closure is important. Allow time to say goodbye and tie up any loose ends. It may not be easy, but the fact of the matter is you’ll be much better off cutting the emotional now, rather than when the moving van is pulling out of your driveway.

Especially if you have children, be sure to communicate openly and get everyone involved in the move. Plan activities during packing and unpacking and let them take part in making decisions on movement of their things.

Last but not least, have some fun and throw a going away party.

Transplant
Don’t feel like just because you’re moving you’re leaving everyone behind or saying goodbye forever. Keeping in touch with friends and family after a move can be difficult to say the least. You have to make a conscious effort. Three quick and simple ways for you to keep in contact with those you won’t see as much anymore are emails and e-greetings, handwritten notes or cards, and phone calls.


Plant Seeds
Once you arrive at your new location you’ll need to take care of the basics – housing, schools/colleges, utilities, phone, cable, internet, medical care, grocery stores, vet, dental, specialty care, church, and that’s just the tip of the iceberg. Have a list and a plan of how to take care of these details.

Add Water
Once you’ve got the basics down then you can add the fun stuff. Check out your local phone book or ask around to find a good hair stylist, nail salon, and gym. Don’t forget to throw in something to do Friday night! Where are the local movie theatres, theme parks, and really good restaurants?

Sprout
Don’t forget to get the kids involved in their new location. Those little things need nourishment too! Find local daycare, play groups, and extra curricular activities in which they will want to participate. Don’t forget the value of a same aged neighborhood kid. Those can be a lifesaver!

To help you to plant, water, and sprout check out some of these helpful resources or simply www.Google.com your new city or it’s Chamber of Commerce to find out what is available in your area. If you are near an Army post you can easily find the post’s Morale Welfare and Recreation (MWR) website and find all sorts of activities.

http://www.city-data.com/
http://realestate.yahoo.com/neighborhoods
http://www.militaryavenue.com
www.justmoved.org
Smart Moves: Your Guide Through the Emotional Maze of Relocation
by Audrey T. McCollum, Nadia Jensen, and Stuart Copans

Cultivate
To really bloom you’ll need some cultivating. And that means getting involved in your community. Meet your neighbors, volunteer with local clubs or organizations. If you’re near an Army post, check out Army Family Team Building (AFTB), Army Community Services (ACS) or Family Readiness Center (FRC) as well as the installation’s Spouses Club.

Make that effort, to get out, go places and stop feeling lost. Coach yourself each week to do something you wouldn't naturally do. This may be as simple as deciding to walk your dog every morning.

Buy a map and start exploring. Or just get on a bus and let yourself be driven around. Seeing your new place is fun and right away gives you something in common with other people. And you'll start developing your favorite haunts—a true sign of home!

Expect change, embrace diversity and keep moving. It's not easy but you must make an attempt to bloom where you're planted. Tomorrow, you may be uprooted but having that knowledge and making an attempt at happiness, is all and everything, that life is about.