goodbye sen. kennedy

years ago, my friend andy's husband was killed in iraq.  she and i became fast friends one night at a coffee event, so much of our lives we alike from meeting our husbands on the exact same night to how we thought of the same things at the same time.

when our husbands left for iraq, we cried together. it was the first deployment we were experiencing, and we had a count down going. we saw our husbands for their r&r, and with one month to go (after an extension), we were ecstatic awaiting the return of our husbands, although we never forgot how dangerous it was.  

i was preparing to move back to texas (ft. hood), i had already secured housing on post, and was getting ready to just get the kids and myself there to wait. it was a week before our planned return and we were staying with my in-laws in massachusetts, and one morning my father in-law had called the house. he asked me, "does your friend andy have a son named danny?". i thought it was weird that he would call to ask me that out of the blue. "yeah", i said, "how did you know that?". i don't remember the words my father in-law used, i just remember my legs crumpling underneath me while tears formed. all i could say for a few minutes was "oh god andy! i have to go help her!".

she had already moved back to ft. hood, and i was having a hard time getting her on the phone, understandably so. when i did speak to her, she asked me to be with her for the funeral. it was to be in massachusetts because her husband, like mine, was from there. my in-laws told me that they would take care of the rest of the preparations to move while i went to be with andy. it had been days since i heard from my own husband, and just before i left for the drive to be with andy, he called. he told me he had been the one on duty to get the call that her husband had been seriously injured, and that he wasn't going make it.

i told him where i was headed, and he said he was glad i was still there so i could help her. i was with her while she made arrangements, i was with her in the line literally holding her up at times while she accepted condolences. at one point, sen. edward kennedy came in to give his condolences. he spoke to her, and his words were very heartfelt, there were no politics, just sincere regrets for this young widow and her young son who would never know his father.

he spoke to andy's mother in-law and said "i am so sorry, when we lost my older brother, i saw how it hurt my mother and then when we thought we lost jack in the war, the toll on my mother was great, i shall never forget how much mothers are hurt too".

later, as i came from getting a drink of water, i had the chance to speak to him and his wife. he asked how i knew andy, and i told him our husbands were in the same company and that they were friends too. he thanked me for my service, as a military spouse, for it was quite obvious given where we were, that we too sacrifice. he was very kind, even more so to my friend's son that day, it was that kindness i think of whenever someone mentions him. goodbye sen. kennedy, thank you for your kindness.