Something Just for You

I haven't posted on the blog in quite some time, because I was busy doing something for myself. It was just for me, no one else. I took 3 1/2 weeks out of my life and my family's life to finish a part of my life that I started before I had kids and before I married the Army.

I was in law school when I met my husband and got married. I never took the bar exam to get my law license, mostly because the week after I graduated the movers came and packed us to move to Oklahoma for six months and then to Germany. We are on our sixth house in seven years and since you have to be licensed in every state that you live, it never seemed practical to pay the thousands of dollars and spend all the time studying. So this past winter I decided that even though we have three boys under the age of six and I am pregnant with number four, that this July was the time I was finally going to try and get my law license.



It has been tough, juggling the kids and the house and trying to study for an impossible two day exam. I have been trying to cram the information from a stack of books two feet high into my poor pregnancy addled brain. My mom came and stayed with us for two weeks to watch the kids and then my husband took a week off all so I could study, just for me.

My exam was this week, I just got home. I cannot tell you how nice it was to take a break from all of my responsibilities. I have been a stay at home Mom for over five years and this was the first time since before we had kids that I did something just for me, purely selfish. It was really nice and it totally reset my clock and refilled my emotional bank.

I think one of the toughest things about being an Army Wife is that you pick up the slack. The Army goes on no matter what. Training isn't put on hold, and deployments can't wait because the timing isn't right. So Army Wives fill the gaps, cover the bases. I know that it is virtually impossible to take time for yourself especially during deployment when you are the only parent. I learned throughout this process that it is so important to take care of yourself. You cannot take care of other people if you are not taking care of you. Take advantage of the reduced rates at the Child Development Center on Post for families of deployed soldiers. The Armed Forces YMCA also has reduced rates for child care. Join a gym that has a free nursery so you can work out. Do something just for you, finish your degree, start your degree,
something that will make you feel good about yourself.

I didn't realize how much I'd been neglecting myself. I have just been chugging along, head down taking care of kids, paying bills, cleaning the house, running the FRG, helping with the FRG, etc. I think somehow I just forgot that there was a person inside of me. I love my children and my family and they are more than I could ever ask or pray for. They fill my heart and my life, but there still needs to be a me.


I am so grateful to everyone that helped me and cheered me on. I guarantee I will not wait another five years to do something just for me.

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I've never lived on post.

Well the move is well underway. We still haven't sold our house in GA but I say "still" lightly because it's only been on the market 2 months. We have been checking into our options for moving to Sill. It's amazing the months are going by so fast and we're at this junction already. I haven't been letting myself stress thus far because I just knew there was too much uncertainty. Now we're down to "D" day and a decision had to be made by August 1st so that we can get a plan together for the move.

We had several plans - we stay here, Kevin moves on to OK and lives in a cheap furnished apartment and comes to get us when we sell the house. We all move together and rent a small place until our house sells and then buy another house. We all move together and we buy another house, refinance ours and rent it. We leave our house empty until it sells, move to MO with my mama and then Kevin rents a room or a small place in OK until we find a new house. And then....we thought "hey, we'll live on post and solve this whole issue." We're only going to be there for two years so we hate to buy a house and have to sell it again. We'd rent - but have you seen the rentals in Lawton, OK? Enough said. So...we checked out housing. We were told 4-8 months waiting so our plan to move on post was foiled. Except - our plan to move to MO and leave our house empty for selling would work. So that is where we decided.

Then today, I happened to call a lady at housing at Sill who was specifically in charge of assigning our pay grade to housing. YEAH - JACKPOT! She said that there is a really good chance we can be in by mid Sept. We WERE THRILLED!!!!!!!!! I'll keep you posted.

As for now, the movers are scheduled for the end of the month. We're ready to go - as ready as we'll ever be. It pains me to no end to leave here. I love this place. It's very VERY hard to let go.

I've never lived on post though. I have so many questions. I know it's funny - almost 11 years in the Army and haven't lived on post. So girls - is it true that you only have to pay (or give up) your BAH and it covers your rent, electricity/gas, water, and trash? What about pets? What's it like living on post? I'd love your feedback and thoughts.

Here's to continuing the journey.....

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Words to live by....

I couldn't help it....

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four people is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

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Life always has a way of coming full circle…

"A man can do only what a man can do. But if he does that each day he can sleep at night and do it again the next day."
-- Albert Schweitzer.

Life always has a way of coming full circle…

Life always has a way of coming full circle…so whenever it is in your hands always be kind and respectful. Those are the words often said by my parents…words I have come to lean on in difficult situations. You never know who you will need and you really never know the power the person next to you may have to help you out. As an Army Wife many of us are a custom to identifying power by rank and outside of the military this identification is not so easy. Over the past couple of years I have had the opportunity to meet so many women who make the mistake of wearing their husbands rank as their own. I believe this behavior makes women who do this look incomplete…and identifies their personal lack of substance.


I am very proud of my husband’s personal and professional success…but I would never feel complete without being fulfilled with my own (together we make a team). I am more interested in seeing how helpful I can be to those around me not how successful I can be at making others feel small. Self-centered people miss out on beautiful moments that make life worth living.

More importantly they could have missed out on an opportunity to speak positive words into the life of another Army Wife. Words of encouragement shared with someone who can truly relate to your situation mean so much to so many of us.
A false seen of importance is a terrible way to spend a day…when you could actually be making a differences in another persons life. Remember life has a way of coming full circle.

Tara JW

"If there is any kindness I can show, or any good thing I can do to any fellow being, let me do it now, and not deter or neglect it, as I shall not pass this way again."
-- William Penn

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My Whole World (AGAIN!)

I first feel like I need to apologize for not being around so much lately. I wish I could use the "it's summer vacation" excuse but it's just not true.

I am one of those gals with a unique relationship with my AMAZING sister-in-law. I've known her since she was 3 years old. Now she is 20 and serves this nation in the US Air Force. I'm so proud. We have a super fantastic relationship. She is so much more than my SIL.... She's my SISTER, my BEST FRIEND, my ALLY, much like a daughter, my companion, my safe place to go when I am worn down, sad, happy, and ALL OF THAT! She pretty much the most incredible woman to walk this planet and I'm so glad she is my sister, my hero! She just left today. I had her here on leave for about 2 weeks and we had a blast! We had cookouts, dress up, fancy dinners, yard work, tons of laughs, a few tears and spend lots of time talking about the future. We even made time to create our own music video! Yes, we are completely LAME :) Other than my incredible husband (and yes they are cut from the same fabric!), she is the only person I can truly be ME with and she embraces all my flaws. Makes me feel special and normal. She's "MY WHOLE WORLD" part 2! My husband being part 1! So here I am asking my self... "Self, how do we do this again?" "How do we keep saying goodbye" "When does it stop hurting". I'm grateful for our time together. She's the woman I want to be. Strong, loving, service driven, beautiful, funny, caring, and one-of-a-kind! But, BOY oh BOY I will miss her!

I already miss my Husband, more than I can put into words. But I feel like I'm saying goodbye to my whole world..... again.

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Army Wives Are Leaders!

I was visiting the Army Wives website over at Lifetime today and browsing the blog. I came across this video they had up from their "Army Wives" event at Walter Reed Army Medical Center in Washington, D.C. They talk about how these two, the Parduns, are like the real life Roxy and Trevor. That's what caught my eye ...but what made me post it here is because it is ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE WATCHING him say to the audience how Army wives are not followers, we're leaders. Then he turns to her and says "especially her". It's great to see so much love and admiration from a soldier to his spouse and vice versa. Thank you Jason, you're a sweetie!! Enjoy!

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Military Goodbyes, Meaningful Friendships

Last night, I attended a farewell party for a good friend of mine in my husband’s unit. She and her husband are PCSing to Fort Leavenworth, and several of the girls got together for coffee to wish her a great tour.

The sad thing is that this is the third such event I’ve attended this month.

In the last year and a half, I have said goodbye to a battalion of friends in Fairbanks and several good friends I’ve made here at Fort Lewis. When I tried to count all the friends to which I’ve bidden adieu, the list was longer than this blog post.

As a member of the constantly rotating military, I feel like I am continually standing in the sappy farewell card aisle at Wal-mart, choosing the perfect words to tell someone I’ve grown to love that she is special to me and that her presence will be missed in my life.

The only thing that gets me through all these constant tough goodbyes is the fact that I know that with every goodbye comes another opportunity to say hello.

Through the military, I have met some of the most amazing women I’ve ever had the privilege to know. In the short span of one and two years, these women have become my saviors and lifelines. Until I became a military wife, it took me years to develop friendships of this caliber. Now, I’m down and deep in six months or less.

It’s the beauty of military life. Though I say goodbye often, I can do it with peace, because at least when I say goodbye, I know that the time I did spend with that friend was deep, intimate and personal. Because when it comes to friendship, we military wives don’t mess around. We can’t afford to. Our farewell coffee might be two weeks around the corner.

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Happy Anniversary to ME!

Today is our 9th wedding anniversary. Doesn't really seem that long. Then again many moves and many children later I guess time does fly by.

Today was a great day. I worked most of the day, got a wake up call from Ted this morning, and the absolute best part. Our adoption papers came in the mail today.

I'm not sure if I posted this before or not but Ted and I each had a daughter when we met(Miranda was not yet born, neither of us were married before)Ted ended up adopting Mackenzie and we had full custody of Miranda since she was 2 years old. Her biological mom passed away a few years back and we have always been meaning to get the adoption part done for her.(meaning I would adopt her)Mostly because I didn't want anyone to come in and try and take her away from us if something would happen to Ted. Both the girls have only known us as mom and dad. But today in the mail, were the papers from the court saying that it's official. She is offically adopted!!!!!! WOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOO

It has been an all around good day. As good as it could possibly be without Ted here.

The kids are still at Operation Purple camp. They are there until Saturday. I am off to scrub toilets. I want the house clean before the come home to destroy it again. Weird I know.

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Virtual Assistance info on AWTR - Monday July 28, 2008

AWTR is proud to introduce you to Team Double-Click’s® Licensed Virtual Assistant program. This program is an option as you look for ways to support your husband and still be there for your family. It is also a great option for growing your own business and earn additional income.

Team Double-Click® launched their ground-breaking Licensed Virtual Assistant program on July 8th, and it is a 1st in the industry!

They will be here on Monday night July 28th to talk to us about this program. If you are looking to build your business underneath the umbrella of a reputable, well-known, highly regarded company and work in a home-based business check it out!

Click here and learn more about Team Double-Click’s® Licensed Virtual Assistant program and tune in Monday night to hear from their founder Gayle Buske!

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Speaking of Saving!

For those of you that have a Harris Teeter in your area July 24-26th is TRIPLE COUPONS! The ad here reads limit 20 coupons per customer per visit. There are some good deals to be had! Stock up!

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Call For Help! Re: Financial Benefits of Deployment

All:
In the next few days I will be putting together a document for many of our listeners that has many of the financial benefits of deployment. I was wondering if any of you had anything to add.

Of course, I'll outline the obvious pay increase because of family separation, hazardous duty pay, etc. I will also highlight the "no tax" benefit.

I also have in my notes the Soldiers and Sailors Civil Relief Act.

I also wanted any ideas from you guys that you would add if you were telling a new Army wife the financial benefits of deployment - have you heard of any businesses offering anything special if your service member is deployed? In our area Comcast had a deployment special that they offered for cable customers.

Thank you for your help!

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Just do it

Has anyone ever asked you, "How do you do it?" and you reply "you just do." I was watching John and Kate plus 8 tongiht.(one of my favorite shows because I think the little kids are so cute)I often said to Ted OMG I couldn't imagine having 8 kids. 6 of which are the exact same age. I found myself thinking, I wonder how she does it. Her response I am sure would be I just do it.

Like all of us who are going through and survived deployment/seperations and when people ask us that famous question, our reply is you just do it. We don't have another choice.

We have a big family by today's standards. We have 4 kids and people often wonder and ask/say I don't know how you do it. Well, my response is you just do it. You don't have another option.

Truth is today is the first full day that the kids are at camp and they are gone for the week. I have to admit that I don't know what I'd do without each of them. They each offer a different dynamic to our family.

Mackenzie is the oldest, the most independent 13yr old you would ever meet. She hsa great things planned for herself. She has a soft heart and is quick to make friends with the kids that most would shy away from because they are different.
Miranda is the next and line and she is the most bubbly, outgoing girl you'd ever like to meet. She has a soft heart. Although she won't let you see that all the time. She loves to be in charge of her brothers. They don't feel the same way.
Tanner, our oldest boy, is outgoing, soft hearted and up for a challenge. He is alot like his dad is now. Mild tempered, soft spoken, and has the most beautiful blue eyes and dark hair.
Parker, our youngest. The most difficult child in our family(I think every family has one difficult child) He has a very soft heart and wants to be everyone's friend but he also wants to be the boss of all of those friends. My MIL tells me that he is exactly like Ted when Ted was little. Parker will be a great fixer of things. He is already taken apart and put back together almost anything he can get his hands on.

The next time you see someone and think, "how does she do it?" In all honesty she doesn't have another choice. YOu just do it. When you see someone like that think about your life. I am sure there is something in your life that someone would ask you the same thing.

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It's A Boy!!

We just found out that we will be adding another boy to our family!! He is due in early November.

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She is driven…

My mother is my inspiration model to becoming the best wife I can be. Life has never been perfect for her…but she has always had a way of turning lemons into lemonade…she is known for placing roses along with their thorns into beautiful crystal vases. When my husband returns from his 3rd deployment to the sandbox…I want our home to be a place of peace for him. I want MW to feel as I always have when I return to my parent’s home. A place that will always be a jewel to me…even as I create a jewel called home for my new family.

After watching my mother today…

I have always respected my mother as a very beautiful and strong woman. I have watched her build a successful career in corporate America…while developing and maintaining a lovely life along side my father. All of my life she has made the word “home” a jewel to me. Whether it was running home from high school with my friends or driving home with them from undergrad…you name it Momma was there with opened arms…a beautiful home ….delicious food to enjoy and excellent advice …Over the past couple of years I have been blessed to have my parents in driving distance.


After all these years she still has that magic touch…the spirit of her home reminds me of fresh chocolate chip cookies and pine scented fragrances. I have been spending a lot of time with her lately…helping her to cope with the illness of my brother. Today…I had the opportunity to watch her working on three different floral centerpieces…one of her favorite hobbies since her early retirement 15 years ago. I watched how she worked with confidence and passion. …and I thought to myself. “Lord help me to be this determined about always creating an atmosphere that my family will always want to come running home too.”

Since I have been coming to visit her in their Alabama home so much…she created a space for me to complete my work. If I have not already told you I am a business owner and in the mist of completing my MBA…so as you can imagine time can get away from me quickly. Not to worry because Momma is always reminding me of my schedule and of items to add to my husband’s care packages. I love her completely and will always respect her as an awesome woman…she is a real lady. After 42 years of marriage and life in general she still remembers to smile…without appearing super spiritual she truly reminds me of the Proverbs 31 woman.

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Grass isn't greener....

My new found friend Jason Tarter of USAA sent me an email today with this quote in his signature. I LOVED IT so much...and I wanted to share it with you guys. Certainly is applicable to military life huh?

"The grass is not, in fact, always greener on the other side of the fence. Fences have nothing to do with it. The grass is greenest where it is watered. When crossing over fences, carry water with you and tend the grass wherever you may be."

Robert Fulghum

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Tara heads to USAA

Last week was a fun week. I headed down to San Antonio on Thursday to speak at USAA. What a great time. They put me up at the Westin LaCantera - rough life huh?


I got in late on Thursday night because of some sort of delay with the plane. Something about an oxygen tank - seemed really small - but I wasn't going to complain because if their checks are that thorough.... I'm proud! We went out to dinner at the LaCantera Grille where I had the best steak - yum!

On Friday it was "business" time. I started out speaking to a group of people who are the creators behind all of USAA's employee development and training programs. They were a great group. Then I spoke to a group of new hires who were mostly from the insurance claims side of the house. What a job huh? After lunch we headed to the USAA auditorium where we set up for the larger presentation. I thought I'd get creative in my presentation and I had them do a mock AWTR show! It was fun. The topic they wanted covered was spouses, and all about them. The group I spoke to in the auditorium was all of the USAA Marketing folks. It turned out great and was alot of fun!

I have to tell you - this building is so much more than what we think about when we think of a bank. Sure, there is a bank but this building is GINORMOUS! I seriously think it takes up several miles. Someone said that it was one of the largest buildings in the world - wouldn't surprise me. I have heel blisters to prove it!!

The offices are all sorta hidden and the building appears to be one large hallway - well, several large hallways. There are vendors and different historic things in each "section" of the building. It has a very military feel to it - gate is guarded, ID's must be worn etc. There are even cafes which have what I would equate to "mall food courts" in them. (Here's a pic of the visitors entrance)



All of the employees were AWESOME! You'd be so amazed that the Senior VP of ___(insert dept here)___ is just as nice, casual, and easy going as the lady who answers the phones when you call in to customer service. Everyone has a great attitude and is so nice. I think what I noticed most was that there was a tremendous amount of pride in what they did, and a huge amount of respect for the military members they serve.

It was a great trip! Still, I am so very excited to say that this week ...I AM GOING NOWHERE!

Yes, laugh if you will but I promise you this has been the first week that I have been home that I know that I don't have to pack to leave again... at least until the house sells. Whew!

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USAA: Mission Your Money

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Household 6: Practical Ways To Save

Tonight's HH6 Segment is about practical ways to save around the house. I thought I'd share this info for you to soak up!

Eat at home instead of eating out.

Make gifts with stuff around the house instead of buying gifts.

Re-gift (make sure the person you’re giving the gift to did not give you the gift originally).

Buy a bag of popcorn kernels for $2.00 and get way more popcorn than the microwave popcorn bags—plus it doesn’t burn when you air-pop it.

Rent movies instead of buying them or going to the theater.

Reduce your land phone line to the most basic package ($19.00) and use a cell phone for any long distance (provided you have a cell phone).

Take advantage of your “flex” account at work to save on taxes.

Maximize your deposits into your 401(k) or 403(b) to take advantage of matching funds.


Walk to the back of clothing stores to find the sales or closeouts.

Shop “out of season” to take advantage of drastically reduced items. The only risk you take is knowing if you’ll fit into everything once that season arrives.

Make holiday gift purchases throughout the year so that you are not so financially strapped during the holiday season.

Instead of going out, dust off those games and stay in for game night.

Go to the grocery store no more than once a week and stretch it to 1 1/2 or two weeks if possible to avoid all the extras we buy.

Instead of meeting a friend for lunch, meet them for a walk.

Borrow books from the library rather than buying them. The library can also order books they don’t have from other libraries. Libraries also lend CD’s, videos, and DVD’s, saving on rentals.

Make your own gifts or cards.

Take in free events around town.

Turn off cable TV or reduce down to basic—shut off the TV and play games or have a conversation.

Get rid of the gym membership and exercise at home or with family or friends—walk, bike, roller blade, skate, etc.

Reuse freezer or sandwich bags by just washing and reusing them (unless they had raw meat in them).

Invite friends over for dinner instead of going out.

Concerts—the schools around town have lots of free ones and they are really good!

Plan your errands so you pick up all things at the same end of town to avoid extra gas usage.

Get involved in church activities as they are usually free and a great way to meet people.

Make extra chili, soup, stews, etc, on the weekend and freeze in single meal containers—perfect to grab for lunch at work instead of eating out.

Keep yourself on a weekly budget—$10 spending money each week.

Stay away from convenience stores: prices are always higher.

Always look around for a better price or deal when buying a large purchase like furniture, car, home, etc.

Fix or repair broken items or clothing instead of buying new.

Buy in bulk to save money—toilet paper, paper towels, light bulbs, etc.

Buy at garage or rummage sales.

Always ask yourself if it is a NEED or a WANT.

Cut all expenses that aren’t used enough—gym memberships, magazine subscriptions, cable, internet, cell phone.

Create a loose change bowl. Once full, put into a savings account and repeat.

Family vacations: camp out or stay with relatives to save on motel costs.

Ride, bike, or walk, instead of driving for a short distance.

Give plasma.

Do a pharmaceutical study to bring in some extra income.

Get a part time job.

Stop drinking, smoking, or gambling.

Cut coupons, but only use them on products you normally use.

Grocery shop without the kids.

Pay with cash instead of credit cards.

Shop after Easter, 4th of July, and Christmas to get the best deals, but don’t shop for fun.

Plan your purchases—don’t impulse-buy.

Use public transportation or carpool.

Only run dishwasher, washer, or dryer when FULL.

Turn off lights, radios, and computer when not in use.

Sell things like baseball cards, family jewels, antiques, guns, etc.

Turn your thermostat down and grab a blanket or sweater.

Use a fan instead of the air conditioner.

Do NOT use pay day loans.

Take a vacation at home: use time off to enjoy the home you pay for and improve your daily living environment rather than pay for airline and hotel costs while your home sits empty. Schedule day trips into the countryside as an alternative.

Have a garage sale and get rid of all your clutter. It will open up space in your home, like adding an additional room without having to pay for it.

When you are depressed, pray and give thanks. It is cheaper and more effective than a shopping spree.

Use public parks.

Grow your own food.

Have your tires rotated regularly—saves on wear and tear, and many places do it for free.

Get together with some friends who wear the same size clothing as you do and have a clothes swap.

Save the gift bags you receive and reuse them when needed.

Make your own wrapping paper out of brown mailing paper and paint.

Compare prices at different stations, pumping gas yourself, and using the lowest-octane called for in your owner’s manual.

Consider purchasing a used car from an individual you know and trust. They are more likely than other sellers to charge a lower price and point out any problems with the car.

Every two years get bids from 5-10 insurance companies for your auto and homeowner’s insurance needs.

You can accumulate more than $100 a year by selecting a free checking account or one with no minimum balance requirements or extra fees. Request a complete list of fees that are charged on these accounts, including ATM and debit card fees.

To avoid late payment fees and possible interest rate increases on your credit cards, make sure you send in your payment a week to 10 days before the statement due date. Late payments on one card can increase fees and interest rates on other cards.
Make certain to get a rate quote (or pre-approved loan) from your bank or credit union before seeking dealer financing on auto loans. You can accumulate as much as $1,000 in finance charges by shopping for the cheapest loan.

Since pharmacies may charge widely different prices for the same medicine, call several. When taking a drug for a long time, also consider calling mail-order pharmacies, which often charge lower prices.

When you get paid, have $_____ automatically transferred to your accumulation account across town at a different bank.

Save your loose change.

Source: http://www.familylifecredit.org/

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The Truth is….

Honestly…I miss my husband…I never knew it would feel this way. We were both open and realistic about what this deployment would mean to us. But there is nothing like actually moving through the experience for the first time. Right now…I feel breathless trying to type the words…to put it in elementary terms I feel like a goldfish in a small bowl. There are so many things I miss about our day to day life together in our home…far away from web cameras and cell phones.

Deciding on whether or not we will have dinner in the dining room or on dining trays in the family room. Listening to the shower water flow as he gets ready for work and I rest on the edge of the bed watching the news. Our quiet moments just relaxing on the balcony watching the airplanes pass us by. Laughing at one another as we race to discover the next plane flowing through the sky like little kids. Listening to his wise counsel about personal and professional situations we both face…somehow we still share special moments of this sort and believe me such moments are a treasure deep inside my heart.


I am certain that we are two halves that make up one heart. I will never forget the day he wrapped his arms around me in the kitchen and said “Tara you are not only my wife…Baby you are my best friend…” I was so honored to know he felt the same way I did about him. What else can I say…? I simply miss my precious gift from God. I will wait with loving arms for his safe return home to me and the boys. Below you will find the words to a song that I have dedicated to him. I plan to sing it to him over and over again when he returns home!

A New Day Has Come
By Celine Dion

A new day has come
A new day has come
A new day, oh oh
A new day, oh oh
I was waiting for so long
For a miracle to come
Everyone told me to be strong
Hold on and don’t shed a tear
Through the darkness and good times
I knew I’d make it through
And the world thought I had it all
But I was waiting for you
Hush, now
I see a light in the sky
Oh, it’s almost blinding me
I can’t believe
If I’ve been touched by an angel with love
Let the rain come down and wash away my tears
Let it fill my soul and drown my fears
Let it shatter the walls for a new sun
A new day has come, oh
Where it was dark now there’s light
Where there was pain now there’s joy
Where there was weakness, I found my strength
All in the eyes of a boy
Hush, now
I see the light in the sky
Oh,
It’s almost blinding me
I can’t believe
If I’ve been touched by an angel with love
Let the rain come down and wash away my tears
Let it fill my soul and drown my fears
Let it shatter the walls for a new sun
A new day has come
Let the rain come down and wash away my tears
Let it fill my soul and drown my fears
Let it shatter the walls for a new sun
A new day has come, oh
Hush, now
Well I see a light in your eyes
All in the eyes of the boy
I can’t believe
If I’ve been touched by an angel with love
I can’t believe
If I’ve been touched by an angel with love
Hush, Now
(Ahh, ahh)
A new day
(Ahh, ahh)
Hush, now
(Ahh,ahh)
A new day

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Only Army Wives Understand Hibernation

Not long ago, my husband returned from another overseas deployment. As our third deployment in four years, our family has gotten quite used to the wave-goodbye, run-leap hello portions of deployment and redeployment, and we’ve established routines that work for our family during the reintegration process. One of those routines post-deployment includes the very mature practice of completely shutting the entire world out, placing a metaphorical “Do Not Disturb” sign on our front door (although I once almost placed a real one there when certain dense neighbors didn’t quite get the hint) and locking ourselves in our house and refusing to answer the phone or check our e-mail for at least two weeks. Oh, and telling the rest of the world to get lost.

Oh, hibernation.

I love the hibernation period. It’s the time I get to spend after months and months of husband-less existence to just bask in my best friend’s presence and laughter and joke with him all I want before emerging into a world that doesn’t see a whole lot funny in wartime and deployment. It’s my time to stay in my pajamas all day with a guy who couldn’t care less if I wore a trash bag for a dress and order pizza because I forgot how to cook in his absence and just be with the one I love as he integrates with the child I love in the house we love in the place we have come to love because the military chose to place us there.

It’s one of those very special and very intimate times, and one of the things I thank God and the military for every day. Yes, they may take my baby away, but each time they return him, I get an amazing cave experience to look forward to. That experience is my Hawaii vacation in places like Fort Wainwright, Alaska.

Of course, the rest of the world doesn’t always see hibernation through the same gracious glasses.

During our three “hibernation” periods after each respective deployment, at least one of my civilian friends has made an off-handed remark about my withdrawing from the real world. “Oh, he’s coming home again. Guess I’ll talk to you next month!” one friend replied sarcastically on the phone to me when I called her to tell her that my husband had just returned from his last deployment. Another replied, “It must be nice to have friends who only need to talk to you when your husband is away.”

I can imagine that it’s really difficult for civilians to understand the kind of life we lead — the kind of life that would take a husband or wife away from his family for six, 12 and 16 months at a time. A kind of life that would forge incredibly strong bonds with friends on the home front in order to make it through deployment. And a kind of life that would require some solid, quality integration time, minus friends and household visitors, once the hardship of deployment is over. My married friends’ only experiences of husbands’ absences include business trips to L.A. and training camps in Columbus. Sixteen months alone, then, must seem unfathomable. So must, then, spending two weeks ignoring the outside world. I try to remember when my civilian friends don’t understand the details and routines of redeployment that they can’t understand, because they haven’t lived it. And that maybe, just maybe, they need a little extra grace as they give the same to me as I take a hiatus from the real world to cave up with my hubby for two entire weeks. After all, it really isn't normal for good friends to ditch each other for two weeks at a time for a guy. At least, not after that guy has a ring on his finger. :)

The great thing about my military friends? The only question they ask during hibernation is why the heck I’ve emerged from my cave to head to the grocery store when my husband has only been home for two weeks.

That’s why I love Army wives.

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"Invisible Women"

I can't be the only one feeling this way...here's a little pick-me-up for another
weekend where the laundry will get done, the dishes caught up, rooms vaccuumed, and beds made...all by invisible women. (And this doesn't just apply to those of us who have children; as HH6s supporting the military, we are often thought of as the invisible ranks, but let it be known sometimes we're the girders for the bridges of peace and the foundation of a great and grateful nation!)



© Nicole Johnson, Fresh Brewed Life, Inc. 2006
http://www.freshbrewedlife.com/

It started to happen gradually…
One day I was walking my son Jake to school. I was holding his hand and we were about to cross the street when the crossing guard said to him, “Who is that with you, young fella?”

“Nobody,” he shrugged.

Nobody? The crossing guard and I laughed. My son is only five, but as we crossed the street I thought, oh my goodness, nobody?

I would walk into a room and no one would notice. I would say something to my family, like “Turn the TV down, please.” And nothing would happen. Nobody would get up, or even make a move for the remote. I would stand there for a minute, and then I would say again, a little louder, “Would someone turn the TV down?” Nothing.

Just the other night my husband and I were out to a party. We’d been there for about three hours and I was ready to leave. I noticed he was talking to a friend from work. So I walked over, and when there was a break in the conversation, I whispered, “I’m ready to go when you are.” He just kept right on talking.

That’s when I started putting all the pieces together. I don’t think he can see me. I don’t think anyone can see me.

I’m invisible.

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I’m on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I’m thinking, “Can’t you see I’m on the phone?” Obviously not. No one can see if I’m on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all.

I’m invisible.

Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more.

Can you fix this?
Can you tie this?
Can you open this?

Some days I’m not a pair of hands; I’m not even a human being.

I’m a clock to ask, “What time is it?”
I’m a satellite guide to answer, “What number is the Disney Channel?”
I’m a car to order, “Right around 5:30, please.”

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude – but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again.

She’s going…she’s going…she’s gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England. Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself as I looked down at my out of style dress; it was the only thing I could find that was clean. My unwashed hair was pulled up in a banana clip and I was afraid I could actually smell peanut butter in it. I was feeling pretty pathetic when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package and said, “I brought you this.”

It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn’t exactly sure why she’d given it to me until I read her inscription. “To Charlotte, with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.”

In the days ahead I would read, no, devour, the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I would pattern my work:

• No one can say who built the great Cathedrals—we have no record of their names.
• These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished.
• They made great sacrifices and expected no credit.
• The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, “Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.”

And the workman replied, “Because God sees.”

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece just push into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, “I see you Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one else does. No act of kindness you’ve done, no sequin you’ve sewn on, no cupcake you’ve baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can’t see right now what it will become.”

At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn, pride.

I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who will show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don’t want my son to tell the friend he’s bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, “My mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for 3 hours and presses all the linens for the table.” That would mean I’d built a shrine or monument to myself. I just want him to come home. And then if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, “You’re gonna love it here.”

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we’re doing it right. And one day it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

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Free Welcome Home Banners

Hello again today Ladies! I came across this, it was posted on another site but thought I would share it with you.
You can purchase welcome home banners(customized) and you only pay shipping. The cost is about $10. The banners are 3ft x 6ft(I believe)
https://www.buildasign.com/TROOPS
It's taking about 3-4 weeks to get them unless you pay for faster shipping. Make sure you order them to put up for when your soldier comes home!

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Talk of green-mostly grocery shopping

Tami's talk of green got me thinking about our daily life and the expenses that are associated with it. I wanted to see where some of you stand on a grocery shopping.

1. Do you clip coupons? If you do, do you use a website or local paper or combination of them both?

2. Do you buy organic? Do you see the benefits of buying natural/organic or do you think it's hyped up?

3. If you could pass one thing on to your children when it comes to grocery shopping/eating, what would it be?

I'll answer my own questions in order.


1. I do clip coupons. For years I thought they were a waste of time. Recently I found a website that is www.thecouponclippers.com They have coupons on their site that you order and pay a small handling fee for and then are mailed to you. Using this service exclusively(I don't print online and I don't' get the Sunday paper) I have saved on average $60 per grocery shopping trip.

2. We recently started purchasing what we can organic. My 7 year old started taking meds for ADD and some studies link diet to ADD. Some studies also link the hormones and additives that are put in most foods to ADD. I used to think it was all hype but I have to say my kids love most of the stuff and it is much healthier for them. If you are a large family(our is a family of 6) consider purchasing meat in bulk. I am in the process of ordering a half of a cow. It will cost us about $900 but it will last 3/4 to a full year. Plus I get to have the meat packaged how I want and the cows aren't injected with antibiotics/hormones and aren't fed animal by products

3. If I could pass along one thing to my children it would be that they know how to eat healthy. I didn't learn that growing up. It's hard for me to eat healthy and I struggle with my weight because of it. Mostly buying organic has helped that a little. I want my kids to know that you can purchase healthy foods and still be on a budget that won't break the bank.

Have at it, what's your take on it? Given that everything has shot up in price(it seems almost overnight)what do you sacrifice for something else? We sacrifice going out to eat so we can purchase healthier items for at home

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My Army Life Too

Many of you know about the www.myarmylifetoo.com site. But did you know all that it offers? I recently became interested in becoming a AFTB instructor. I wanted to go through each class and see what it covered and then take the instructor training. After some searching online I found that you can complete the training (and print a certificate)online at My army life too. I did know about the site and I did know that you could search for volunteer opportunities on it but I didn't realize all the fantastic resources that are available. If you haven't checked it out, please do so. I am sure there is information that you can use. Or know of someone who can!

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Military Spouse Job Search

Phew! What a week! I am coming across more and more resources for spouses that I ever knew about this week. Some are by accident and some took some searching to find but here is one of the newest things I found.

It's called Military Spouse Job Search. One their website they have this little blurb about themselves.
Military Spouse JobSearch is designed to enhance the employment opportunities for spouses of US Military members with employers committed to hiring military spouses and to connect employers with a talented, global, diverse workforce.
What a fantastic resource!!!! Their website is www.militaryspousejobsearch.org I did a quick search for my area and came up with a few new leads for jobs.

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Our Military Kids

I came across this article on cinchouse.com and thought I would share it with you.
Less than six weeks after the Federle family moved to Columbus, Ohio, for Dad’s full-time National Guard job, he was deployed to Iraq.

Nancy Federle and their four sons were three hours from the closest family, had no friends nearby and had little to occupy them during what turned out to be a 16-month deployment to Iraq.

And Federle soon realized she needed a male role model for her sons, then ages 5, 6, 8 and 9.

The discipline and respect they could learn in Tae Kwon Do was the answer, but the family didn’t have the funds to enroll all four boys.
Grassroots organization Our Military Kids came to the rescue. The group paid for classes and uniforms for all the boys. The organization raises money to fund extracurricular activities for children of deployed National Guard and Reserve members.

“I think it’s the best thing in the whole world,” Federle said. “This got them involved in something and gave them a goal to reach as they tested for each belt. When my husband would call, the boys would be so excited to tell him about class and send him pictures of them in their uniforms.”

Dad benefited from the program as well.

“My husband said it made him feel so much better to know the kids could do things and we were not financially strapped,” she said.

How to apply:
Unlike most things military, the application for an Our Military Kids grant is less than one page.

The parent or guardian must fill out the form and provide a copy of the service member’s orders, the child’s military identification and a form from the activity that lists the cost.

The applications are generally reviewed and returned within one to two weeks. Checks are sent directly to the source of activity, such as the soccer league or the piano teacher.

“When I filled out the application, it was absolutely no hassle, no second-guessing,” Federle said. “They paid for their uniforms and paid for the school. It’s just a wonderful, wonderful program. We could have never afforded to pay for it.”

This year the program has also begun giving second grants to children facing multiple or extended deployments. Also, grants are now available for toddlers. Previously, children had to be in kindergarten to apply.

To qualify, applicants must have a parent in the Reserve or National Guard. That parent must be serving overseas, the deployment must be for a year or longer and there must be two months remaining in the military tour at the time of application.

For a second grant, applicants must wait six months after their first grant to re-apply.

The maximum grant awarded is $500, meaning the organization will pay up to $500 for a single activity. Applicants cannot do several activities that add up to $500. For example, if piano lessons cost $100 for the year, the organization will send $100.

To apply, visit www.ourmilitarykids.org

Kruzel said every child who receives a grant also receives a letter thanking her for doing her part to support the family and the nation while the parent is deployed. The child also receives a patch.

“We do hear from a lot of parents that they really appreciate the child being recognized,” Kruzel said. “They can tell their children that they’re doing their part for our country, but to have someone else recognize them, it makes them feel special.”

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Feeling the pinch of "Green."

Okay, I am meaning this in two ways....

1. EVERYTHING is so dang expensive I can hardly stand it.

2. Oh, the pressure to go "green!"

Now, I am by no means a cheapskate but I do have a reputation for being quite frugal (I always say, I'll never HAVE money if I spend all my money). I take my kids to do free stuff when I can and I often pack their lunch instead of stopping at McD's (except when they are giving away little pet shop toys:). I am an expert at free stuff around here. I buy passes and "frequent user" cups at the places I go a lot. Read: the zoo and Silver Dollar City. I manage my errands on a "loop" so I don't have to make extra trips and if I need something I am only going to use once I try to borrow instead of buy it. That is how I ALWAYS am but now I find myself trying to save MORE money. We all know gas prices are ridiculous and more frustrating, unpredictable, but have we really looked at the price of a dozen eggs or our kids favorite snack lately? It is crazy. For those of us who can't shop at the commissary it can almost put you in heart failure. So, I've added a few more things to my save money plan and I thought i'd share them.

1. I've gotten some really nice clothes for my kids at yard sales and resale shops. Even better, I've done an exchange with a friend who had an older boy with my daughters outgrown clothes. We both win.

2. Use freecycle. Sign up for this in your area and you can find all kinds of stuff free (we got a guinea pig with all the accessories) and they will come get your unwanted stuff if you set it outside...

3. www.craigslist.org. I just sold three items that didn't sell at my garage sale for a $100.00 and sold my Ford Expedition within a day. Meet somewhere nuetral like a parking lot and everyone stays safe.

4. For the first time in my life I am sticking to my grocery list and not over-stocking my pantry. I also read the grocery store adds and use coupons. Wal-mart matches prices so if grapes are 99 cents a pound at Price Cutter, I just tell them and they match it. Too bad they don't match commissary prices.

5. I also gave up on keeping my house at 67 degrees in the summer. We set it at 75 only after the temperature outside whent to 85....if it dips at night, we open the windows and my hubby closes them on his way out to work.

Now the being "green" thing. I have always tried to do my part to recycle (I'm a biologist at heart) and I am not a 100% a global warming guru. I do believe we could all do better to conserve energy and make our world a cleaner, safer environment for our children. Sooooo......

1. I use my fabric grocery bags--they hold way more anyway. Walmart sells these great mommy bags in the automotive department that i use for produce. They are net bags and they are pretty nifty.

2. Recycling isn't offered where I live but I bought 4 recycling bins at Lowes and when they are full I take them to the center near the gym where I workout.

3. I only do full loads of clothes and dishes.

4. I planted a huge garden with a friend. We take turns weeding and picking and we both have way more produce than we can handle. We are going to can beans, applesauce, beets, and etc to save for winter.

5. And the grand finale---crazy...we bought a Saturn Vue Hybrid car to replace my Ford Expedition. This one was HARD because I loved my big car, but with spending over $450 a month in gas just for my car, it seemed kind of crazy to keep it.

It may seem like a lot but it's all part of our routine so it doesn't seem like extra work. I'd love to hear if anyone else has tip for saving money or saving energy. Personally, I find it really rewarding when I find a new way to do it.

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Field Problem: New GI Bill Benefits

Dear Tara & Star,
I was told that recently our education benefits have changed through the passing of a new GI Bill. Do you have a list of the new benefits? I am an officer and already have my degree; however I was told that I might be able to transfer my benefits to my spouse to go to college. Am I even eligible and is that possible?

Dan; Fort Hood, TX; Active Duty Army; 10 years

Dear Dan:

What a treat to have a soldier write in; we’re so used to addressing spouses. Yes, you heard correctly, on June 30, 2008, President Bush signed the new GI Bill into law, ensuring today’s veterans get the educational benefits they deserve. Congressional Quarterly called the bill “one of the most significant pieces of legislation enacted by the 110th Congress.”

The new GI Bill (Chapter 33 - Post-9/11 Veterans Educational Assistance Act of 2008) or so-called "GI Bill for the 21st Century," boasts the most comprehensive education benefits package since the original GI Bill was signed into law in 1944.

On June 22, 1944, President Franklin Delano Roosevelt signed into law one of the most significant pieces of legislation ever produced by the United States government: The Servicemembers' Readjustment Act of 1944, commonly known as the GI Bill of Rights. By the time the original GI Bill ended in July 1956, 7.8 million World War II veterans had participated in an education or training program and 2.4 million veterans had home loans backed by VA. Today, the legacy of the original GI Bill lives on in the Montgomery GI Bill. (Source: http://www.gibill.va.gov/)

The Post- 9/11 GI Bill is a new benefit providing educational assistance to individuals who have served on active duty on or after September 11, 2001. The bill is to provide $63 billion over 10 years for increased college aid. The new benefit provides full in-state tuition and fees for enrollment in a public college, a monthly housing stipend and $1,000 per year for books and supplies. Additionally, the benefits could be transferred to a servicemember's spouse or children. Unlike the Montgomery GI Bill, the new GI Bill will allow you to use this benefit for up to 15 years after your last discharge or separation from active duty.

You mentioned you were an officer and had already attended college. To qualify to use the new GI Bill, you must have served a total of at least 90 days on active duty in the Armed Forces. However, the amounts of benefit you receive under this program are determined by the actual amount of accumulated post 9/11 service you have.

To be eligible for the full benefit, you must have three years of active duty service after 9/11 or have been discharged due to a service-connected disability.

If you are an officer who graduated from a service academy or received ROTC scholarships, you also qualify for the new GI Bill benefits. Make sure to note that the ROTC/Service Academy obligated active-duty service time will not count toward the three years necessary to qualify for the full benefits.

As of publication, the details have yet to be released on how to transfer your benefits to your dependents. Under the old Montgomery GI Bill there was limited transferability, so this is a new feature. No matter what, you will have to be approved by the Department of Defense (DOD) for eligibility to transfer entitlement to your spouse and dependent children. So our suggestion is for you to contact the DoD or your local Education Center for more information.

We were able to find various other resources for you as well (see below). Good luck to you and your spouse as you pursue your new educational endeavors.

VA education benefits hotline is 1-888-GIBILL1.

For a quick bulleted review of the new GI Bill, visit http://education.military.com/money-for-school/gi-bill/new-gi-bill-overview#9.

Learn more about the development of the new GI Bill: http://www.gibill2008.org/

A PDF handout about the GI Bill benefits: http://www.gibill.va.gov/S22/S22%20pamphlet%20version%201.0.pdf

The US Department of Veterans Affairs: http://www.gibill.va.gov/


Have other questions? To submit your Field Problem™, e-mail FromTheField@FieldProblems.com. Please include your first name, location, branch of service, and years in/associated with the military. Questions may be edited for length and clarity. Field Problems™ reserves the right to read on the air and/or publish on its Web site or in any other form the emails and letters that we receive. By sending us a letter or email, you agree to these terms.

© 2008, Crooks and Henderson. Field Problems TM is a self-syndicated column by authors and military spouses Tara Crooks & Starlett “Star” Henderson. Receive this and other Field Problems: SOLVED c/o Crooks and Henderson right in your inbox by signing up at www.FieldProblems.com. Field Problems™ is just one solution to the challenges encountered by military families in Crooks and Henderson's kitbag. Ask about workshops or Field Exercises™ customized to solve your or your organization's Field Problems™.

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Inspiration….just what we all need….

Inspiration is something we all need…it is the feeling that helps to provide each of us with the edge we require to make it through difficult times. I wanted to take this time to share some inspiring quotes that have given me the edge I have needed to make it through this very uncomfortable separation from my husband. With that being said…I hope you enjoy them as much as I always do!
Enjoy~
Tara JW

This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; the being a force of Nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.
--Fritjof Capra
Pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work.
-- Aristotle

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.
-- Aristotle

Motivation will almost always beat mere talent.
-- Norman R. Augustine

Imagination is the highest kite one can fly.
-- Lauren Bacall

Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.
-- James Baldwin

I don't know anything about luck. I've never banked on it, and I'm afraid of people who do. Luck to me is something else; hard work and realizing what is opportunity and what isn't.
-- Lucille Ball

The great advantage of being in a rut is that when one is in a rut, one knows exactly where one is.
-- Arnold Bennett

Having once decided to achieve a certain task, achieve it at all costs of tedium and distaste. The gain in self-confidence of having accomplished a tiresome labor is immense.
-- Thomas Arnold Bennett

Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there.
-- Josh Billings

He who kisses the joy is it flies lives in eternity's sunrise
-- William Blake

Action springs not from thought, but from a readiness for responsibility.
-- Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Character may be manifested in the great moments, but it is made in the small ones.
-- Phillip Brooks

Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars
-- Les Brown

We got to roll with the punches, play all of our hunches, make the best of whatever comes your way. Forget that blind ambition, learn to trust your intuition -- plowing straight ahead, come what may.
-- Jimmy Buffett, Cowboy in the Jungle (song)

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Tara's Cycle of Deployment

**PLEASE FEEL FREE TO REPUBLISH in FRG newsletters etc. but make sure you credit back to www.ArmyWifeTalkRadio.com or www.LovingASoldier.com. Thanks!!
Ok so there is this really long cycle of deployment that the DoD and all the psychologists publish. Theirs is very technical with all stages and fancy words.

Here’s mine - please comment and add yours too!

• Pre-deployment - Freaking out over the thought that you will be spending more than 30 days without your spouse, feeling like you can’t go on, irritated that you have to fill out paperwork and have someone tell you “you’re going to make it” because you don’t care about even thinking about it happening. It’s not fair, you don’t like it, and you’re in denial that he is actually leaving.

• Deployment – HOLY CRAP he left. How did that happen? You’re not going to make it. How will you ever survive? Coming home from dropping him off to his laundry, coffee cup from breakfast, and change still sitting on the dresser. You won’t move it for weeks. Followed by 4 days of crying and locking yourself in your bedroom with a box of oreos, a glass of milk, stash of tissues, his tshirt, sappy movies, in your pajamas. Your life is on hold – you sleep with the phone next to your ear and the Dominos man knows your order by heart. Day four he calls and you wake up and realize you haven’t brushed your teeth in four days. You need to get it together.

• Sustainment – You got it together. You’re on a schedule. You found a battle buddy. You can do this. You will do this. You find things to do. You clean up the house and put all his stuff away in it’s place. You are taking care of the house, the car, the kids – who has time to realize you’re lonely? You start functioning like a well oiled machine. Well, for the most part. There are moments of intense “OH MY GOD” or “I AM SO ALONE” feelings – like when confronted with a friend whose spouse is home, or a sad song on the radio, or when you miss the one time he gets to call that week. That’s usually about the same time that the washer breaks and floods your floor or one of the kids breaks their leg. But you’re strong and you know this and you start counting down the days to R&R leave.

• R&R - Now this really needs it’s own “pre”, “during”, and “post”, don’t you think? Pre - freaking out over him coming home – figuring out how you’re going to get in an appt for your highlights and waxing between going to the grocery store to find all of his favorite things, cleaning the house, and worrying if he is going to love you the same way as when he left. During – read as “HONEYMOON” or “HELL” it’s really depending on the situation and circumstances. Post – repeat DEPLOYMENT.

• Re-deployment - Somewhere between pre-R&R and “OH THANK GOD”. You’re thanking your lucky stars he is coming back to you unharmed. You’re worried about how he’ll transition. Will you have to deal with effects of his deployment? If so, how? what? This time is usually coupled by several vacation or leave plans, an impending PCS, and/or retirement – just to keep you on your toes! Nothing phases you though, you have your soldier home. Happy, Happy, Joy!

• Post-deployment – Ahhh this is about three months later, about the same time you realize that for the last month you have given up your “me” time. You developed a schedule during deployment that has been mashed to smithereens and you haven’t watched the Bachelor or Grey’s Anatomy in weeks. Your children aren’t sure which one of the parents to listen to and have figured out how to pit you against each other. You have spent WAY too much time with your relatives lately. The impending PCS is getting on your nerves and stressing you out. You start to fall back into a routine that is what is supposed to be “normal” but who knows what “normal” is anyway? Then you stop and think about how lucky you are to wrap your arms around your guy tonight. You smile when you see your children climbing all over their daddy. You have a complete family at the dinner table at night. You get to go out on dates. You have someone to help hold & entertain the children. And at 5pm (or 7 or 8pm ha ha ha) you can actually EXPECT to see someone walk in the door. You realize that “me” time is worth the trade, and also that this is why God gave us DVR.

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Where oh WHERE have I been?

Yeah, I figured you would wonder where on Earth I had gone? We've spent the last week finishing up our "world travels" (ha ha ha ha) at Disneyworld in Florida. Whew! What a week. It's been nuts. Those parks are SO MUCH FUN but the July heat will zap the life right out of ya! We had a week planned - four Disney parks and Sea World to take advantage of their military freebie - but we never made it past the Disney part because we were exhausted. It was a blast though. We're glad to be home, and in our own beds. Here's a few pictures from our trip.

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Army Family Covenant

There are different mission levels based on your soldiers status. I found this out when I registered for CYS this week and was able to get the kids sports camps for free!!!

MISSION LEVEL 1-families of deployed military and DoD civilians

* 16 hours free hourly care per child per month starting 30 days before deployment and 60 days after return
* $2.00 per child per hour for any hourly care beyond 16 hours
* 20% Reduction of fees for full day and part day care(proof of deployment must be received by the 24th of the month prio-discount given in whole month increments)
* 4 coupons per child to be used toward CYS SKIES classes(2 school year coupons and 2 summer program coupons)
* 2 coupons per child to be used for CYS team sports

MISSION LEVEL 2-familied of military and DoD civilians serving under the following orders :Temporary Change of Station(TCS), Permanent Change of Stations(PCS)unaccompanied tour and Temporary Duty(TDY) 90-179 days

* 16 hours free hourly care per child per month during length of tour
* $2.00 per child per hour for any hourly care beyond the free 16 hours
* 2 coupons per child to be used toward CYS SKIES classes(1 school year and 1 summer program coupon)
* 1 coupon per child to be used for CYS team sports

MISSION LEVEL 3- Rear Detachment Cadre(as identified on REar Detachment Availability Report)
* 5 hours free hourly care per child per month during designated support assignment
* $2.00 per child per hour for any hourly care beyond the free 5 hours
* 2 coupons per child to be used toward CYS SKIES classes(1 school year coupon & 1 summer program coupon)
* 1 coupon per child to be used for CYS team sprotsThere are also categories for Wounded Warriors and Familied of Fallen Warriors.

EACH POST DOES VARY A LITTLE for what services you can receive. But I wanted to make sure that if you are near a post and your kids would use the programs that we all knew about them. I had no idea until I went there that we were even eligible for free sports/summer camp programs. Plus the free monthly child care. I might put the boys there a couple hours every other week or so just so the girls and I can do something fun together. The girls are old enough that I can leave them home when the boys and I go out. Even grocery shopping in peace is a wonderful treat.

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Weeds!

There is nothing I HATE more to do when my husband is away then to weed! Bring on the mowing, trash, toilet cleaning, even the "dog duty", but weeds weeds go away NEVER come again another day! I think I pull these nasty buggers daily! With all of the rain lately in our area anything that grows is starting to get out of hand. I'm constantly in our small landscaped yard with these prickley, ugly, sometimes green nastiness! I'll gladly give this chore back to my husband upon his return from war. "Here you go babe... fight the war on these crazies!"

I know there are some real summer lovers out there, but I'm a fall girl. Bring on the beautiful changing leaves and the cool breeze that kisses the skin. I'm all about pumpkins and cider. It's the perfect season... and it means I'm one season closer to HOMECOMING. So bring on the FALL because I hate WEEDS and I want my hubby back! :) Don't worry gals... I will conquer these WEEDS!

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Learning Life Lessons Through Military Life

I wasn’t commissioned, and I didn’t enlist, but on May 22, 2004, I joined the Army. My uniform was my white wedding dress, my oath of office, my wedding vows. And though I’d heard an awful lot about becoming an Army wife before I walked down that aisle, when I said “I do,” I really had no idea just how much I would be “doing.”

Four years, three moves and three deployments later, I’m starting to get the picture.

No, military life hasn’t exactly been the one big military ball I had pictured in my head. (I mean, really, I’m sure Cinderella didn’t miss all four wedding anniversaries with her Prince Charming!) But it has offered me endless opportunities for deep, meaningful relationships and valuable personal growth.

Although spending five of the last seven years in a long distance relationship with my husband, Matt, has, let’s face it, made me cry, it’s taught us so much about communicating in clear, direct and loving ways when body language and make-up make-out sessions are out of the picture.

Although raising our now 2-year-old son, Connor, by myself for the first eight months of his life and several months in between has been at times overwhelming, it’s taught me so much about the responsibility and privilege of imparting knowledge and life experience to God’s most precious gift: children.

And although frequent moves have perhaps inhibited my ability to get “a real job,” this crazy moving military life, in return, has offered me tremendous opportunities to create my dream job — a job where I spend my time hanging out with and encouraging other military families.

Today, four years into this manic military life, I am the CEO of Behind the Blue-Star Banner Services and work from home as the Editor in Chief of Good Catch Publishing. And, in between deployments and PCS moves, eat a whole lot of ice cream and, on bad deployment days, bags of Cheetos. I’m a firm believer that military spouses are No. 1 on the list of Most Amazing Creatures on the Planet (we have to get some kind of title for living this life willingly!), and I can’t wait to start laughing with and learning from all of you, Cheeto fingers and all.

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AWTR July 2008 Newsletter

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Hello out there fellow Household 6s!

Happy July and Happy Independence Day! I simply cannot believe it is already July. A year ago today when I was writing the newsletter I was telling you about how it would only be a few weeks until the birth of our new baby girl, Chloe. It seems like that was just yesterday.

This month is a fun, informative, and busy month at AWTR. We start off the month by featuring our BEST OF AWTR – replaying the interview with fellow military spouse Luke Flatebo. Luke is a male spouse with a unique perspective and an important message for all of us. July 14th we return with a live show featuring Kim and Jason of KimandJason.com. They are a hoot! Kim and Jason will teach us how to have FUN with our lives and cure our “adultitis” as they like to call it! July 21st we’re joined by our Patriot Sponsors USAA for a very informative interview. We wrap up the month on July 28th with all of us taking a “time out”! Yes, “Mothers Need Time Outs Too” authors will be here to tell us how to enjoy our families more! You can’t beat that!

In the spirit of these hot, dog days of summer (July 3d - August 11th), I thought I’d take a fun approach to my “news” this month. As you all know we feature different “AWTR Segments” every month on our show. We have Post with the Most where we discuss information about posts and towns local to our listeners and then vote on which post has the “most” for Army Families. Then we have AWTR Mess Hall where we share our wonderful one pot meals, stress-free desserts, or just “what’s for dinner” to help out our fellow Army wives. We have AWTR Book Club where each month we feature a book from our AWTR Booklist and we all read and discuss. Lastly, we have AWTR Household 6 where we feature our household tips and tricks from cleaning to balancing our checkbooks. So, for this month I thought I’d tie all four of those AWTR segments with something that celebrates these times of having fun in the sun. I hope you all enjoy!

AWTR Post with the Most: Posts should have open swim hours, swimming lessons, and perhaps lake activities. If you’re not sure what is going on on your local installation or in your local community, finding out is a simple GOOGLE away! Hit www.google.com and search “Fort Hood MWR” for example to find the calendar for Fort Hood. If you are looking for local events, simply search “Water Recreation Cincinnati" or "Cincinnati Festivals" for examples to find the calendar and happenings for Cincinnati. (Just be sure to replace your post or city with the ones in the examples.) Good luck and HAVE FUN!

AWTR Mess Hall: It's never too late for a flag cake. Check out this recipe from KraftFoods.com. Of course if you’re not up to baking a cake, lemonade is always an easy sell! There are recipes for a variety of lemonade drinks, cakes and pies too.

AWTR Book Club: With July comes a patriotic spirit: stay inside where it's cool and curl up with your children and a patriotic book like Our 50 States: A Family Adventure Across America or One Nation: America by the Numbers. Check out the AWTR Booklist for all sorts of military spouse and military children’s books!

AWTR Household 6: Chances are no matter where you go, you'll have to brave hotter temperatures than most of the rest of the year! Remember SAFETY! Check out the Center for Disease Control and Prevention for some tips and education on how to best prevent heat-related illnesses! Keep your kids and pets cool for maximum fun this summer season.

Your “Household 6”,
Tara E. Crooks
Tara@armywifetalkradio.com

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AT&T, 2ThumbZ let their spirit r-r-r-r-ring

AT&T LAUNCHES FIRST MOBILE CONTENT PORTFOLIO FOR
UNITED STATES ARMED FORCES

DALLAS, JULY 2, 2008 — We honor freedom in our yards and in our homes, on our cars and even in our wardrobe, and now AT&T is providing customers with a unique way to give tribute to those who have fought for our independence, just in time for the 4th of July holiday. AT&T Inc. (NYSE:T) today announced a program with 2ThumbZ Entertainment, Inc. to launch the wireless industry’s first comprehensive portfolio of mobile content tailored to the United States Military. The impressive selection of content consists of ringtones, Answer Tones™, 3D graphics and animations, and videos tailored to members of the U.S. Army, Navy, Marines, Air Force, and Coast Guard.

AT&T customers, including Armed Services personnel and their family members can now show their patriotic spirit and support with elite military division insignia featuring exclusive designs from 2ThumbZ. AT&T is providing a text message shortcode to allow fast access to the content portfolio. AT&T customers can text USA to 386 and receive a link to view the entire collection of more than 300 military-themed products. The collection will also include special photos that highlight the skill and precision of the military’s premier air demonstration squadron, the USAF Thunderbirds. A portion of each Thunderbird photo sale will be contributed by 2ThumbZ
to military charities supporting active duty personnel and veterans of all service branches.


“We are proud to offer exclusive content through our partnership with 2ThumbZ that conveys the honor, strength and spirit of these elite military units,” said Mark Collins, vice president of consumer products for AT&T’s wireless unit.

“This is the very first wireless military portfolio that includes divisional insignia for many top units including the 82nd Airborne division, 1st Infantry division, Marine 2nd division, Army Rangers and the USAF Thunderbirds,” said Mark Baric, chairman, 2ThumbZ. “We are truly privileged to work closely with all branches of the U.S. Armed Services and AT&T to build this portfolio that salutes America’s bravest.”

“The publication of the US Military content by AT&T allows their customers to express support of U.S. troops”, stated, Gen. H. Hugh Shelton, USA (Ret.) 14th Chairman Joint Chiefs of Staff. “Downloading this content sends a clear expression of gratitude and support for our soldiers across all military branches, which will resonate not only with them, but with their family and friends as well.”

For more information on the “America and USA Military” AT&T portfolio, text USA to 386 from any AT&T wireless device or visit www.att.com/mediamall.

For more information, contact:
April Borlinghaus
Phone: 512-495-7166
E-mail: aborling@attnews.us

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I'm finally home!

Well, After spending a wonderful month in Salzburg, Austria - I am home! Getting home was such an ordeal! I am vowing to never fly on US Air again. We had to get on the buses from Salzburg to get to Munich around 5 am on Tuesday. The 2 hour ride wasn't bad at all. Then, we get to Munich. I didn't fly with the group and had to go to a different terminal to get to my airline.


Then, as I was walking to my terminal - the airline workers were on strike! Something I learned in Europe was that employees will strike at any time without any notice. It's usually only for maybe 2 hours - never more than a day. The check in counter didn't open until 945 (my flight left 3 hours later). After checking in, they were unable to print my second boarding pass for some weird reason. Then, I had to go through 10 million security checkpoints (or so it seemed) to get to my gate. Finally, I get on the plane. Then, we sit at the gate for 45 minutes because of a delay of some sort. The actual plane ride was pretty uneventful. I get to Philadelphia and had to go through customs. This took about an hour - my second flight was leaving an hour and a half after I arrived in Philly - so that little 45 minute delay really kind of messed it all up. Customs was ridiculous to get through - there were so many people trying to get through and not enough people to get them through. I finally make it through and I re-check my bag. I thought, oh I'll just have them print my second boarding pass at the gate. Well, that didn't get to happen because of yet another security checkpoint. Then I had to go all the way back to where I re-checked my bag to get the second boarding pass. This was at 15 minutes before the plane was supposed to leave. I get to the agent and she informs me that I had already been bumped to the 954 pm flight. I was pissed.

I go through security, taking my time, etc. I get to my terminal and plug in my lap top to talk to my man. He's tracking the flights here at home and informs me that my original flight had been delayed and was just leaving. I could have made that flight. I was even angrier at this point. We talk for awhile and then I go to get some dinner. After dinner, I then made my way back to my gate. Only to find out that my next flight had been cancelled. After some talking and dealing, I ended up on a flight to Louisville - 2 hours from home. Oh, to finally get home that night!

After all this - I have decided to never fly on US Air again.

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There is nothing like a good recipe…

There is nothing like a good recipe to bring family and friends together…Remember that pound cake your grandmother gave to your mother…who passed it down to you. Or that baked chicken that nobody makes better than you…Maybe it is the way your sister bakes that holiday ham or the way your brother grills the steak….


It could be the way your best friend scrambled those eggs the morning after the big party in college….Who knows for sure how it happens…it just does good recipes bring family and friend together…this holiday season is different for me I am missing my husband…yet I have gained new friends in each of you.


With that being said…I want to take this time to wish each of you a very wonderful Independence Day weekend! I am always in search of savory recipes to make my holiday tasty. I think it is time I shared some fun recipes with my new friends! My hope is that you will enjoy them this weekend or the next time you need a recipe like theses.
Wishing you the very Best!
Tara JW



Greek Pasta Salad
• 1/2 cup olive oil
• 1/2 cup red wine vinegar
• 1 1/2 teaspoons garlic powder
• 1 1/2 teaspoons dried basil
• 1 1/2 teaspoons dried oregano
• 3/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
• 3/4 teaspoon white sugar
• 2 1/2 cups cooked elbow macaroni
• 3 cups fresh sliced mushrooms
• 15 cherry tomatoes, halved
• 1 cup sliced red bell peppers
• 3/4 cup crumbled feta cheese
• 1/2 cup chopped green onions
• 1 (4 ounce) can whole black olives
• 3/4 cup sliced pepperoni sausage, cut into strips

In a large bowl, whisk together olive oil, vinegar, garlic powder, basil, oregano, black pepper, and sugar. Add cooked pasta, mushrooms, tomatoes, red peppers, feta cheese, green onions, olives, and pepperoni. Toss until evenly coated. Cover, and chill 2 hours or overnight.

Texas Grilled Steak
• 1 1/2 pounds flank steak
• 1 tablespoon oil
• 1 tablespoon Chili Powder
• 1/4 teaspoon Oregano Leaves
• 2 tablespoons lime juice
• Flour tortillas
• Salsa
• Shredded Cheddar cheese
• Sour cream
Brush steak with oil. Combine the next 3 ingredients to make a paste. Rub paste over steak and refrigerate overnight. Broil or grill and slice thinly to serve. Wrap steak in warm flour tortillas. Serve with salsa, Cheddar cheese and sour cream.

Banana Banana Bread
• 2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 cup butter
• 3/4 cup brown sugar
• 2 eggs, beaten
• 2 1/3 cups mashed overripe bananas

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Lightly grease a 9x5 inch loaf pan. In a large bowl, combine flour, baking soda and salt. In a separate bowl, cream together butter and brown sugar. Stir in eggs and mashed bananas until well blended. Stir banana mixture into flour mixture; stir just to moisten. Pour batter into prepared loaf pan. Bake in preheated oven for 60 to 65 minutes, until a toothpick inserted into center of the loaf comes out clean. Let bread cool in pan for 10 minutes, then turn out onto a wire rack.

Icy Blender Lemonade
• 1 large lemon, peeled and seeded
• 1/2 cup white sugar, or to taste
• 3 cups cold water
• 6 ice cubes

Place the lemon, sugar, cold water, and ice cubes into the container of a blender. Blend until smooth, and serve immediately.

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Field Problem: Combat Loneliness

How do you combat loneliness?
Stephanie; Fort Hood, TX; dual-military; 2 years

A little background for our readers: Recently we held a Field Exercise™ workshop about deployment survival tips on Fort Hood. There we allowed ladies facing their first deployment to ask questions of ladies who have survived multiple deployments. We pronounced this question a “zinger” because of its deep emotional sting, but we were very proud of the audience’s good (and plentiful) answers.

To those wondering, like Stephanie:

We’re going to outline some ways to get through the loneliness, but first let’s talk about that term.


Know your enemy

Dictionary.com says, “Loneliness is when you are destitute of sympathetic or friendly companionship or support.” So really, loneliness means that you have no one, when in fact, you do. You have a soldier to love; unfortunately you’re apart and so in creeps loneliness. But, it doesn’t have to be that way and you can shift your focus.

We want those who feel destitute of companionship and support to hear this, “You are not alone.” Neighbors, co-workers, family members, church goers, children, veteran wives, support organizations, people you don’t even know yet stand ready to support you and are looking for companionship too. Let them fill the void while your soldier is gone.

If meeting new friends is intimidating, start slowly and meet our new friends through reading their books. Two recent Army Wife Talk Radio guests included Sarah Dawalt, author of 365 Deployment Days and Michelle Cuthrell, author of Behind the Blue-Star Banner. Both are spouses who just like us had to combat loneliness and get through their first and subsequent deployments. They’re both on the FP booklist along with others you are bound to connect with.

Also, we find comfort in telling ourselves just how lucky we are to have our lives, to have someone worth missing, someone who we are so passionate about. Not everyone does. You can use positive self-talk as your tool too. Tell yourself, “I’m not alone,” and “I’m so very lucky to live this passionate life and have someone to miss.” These inner dialogues will kick-start your strength and attitude to take on these next challenges.

Keep busy, counting

Tara says, “There’s one thing deployments can’t stop and that is time.” Tomorrow and redeployment WILL eventually come, so know that this is a temporary state. Have fun counting down the time.

Here’s some silliness to set an example: 299 loads of dishes to do, 299 loads of dishes. Put them away, count down a day, 298 loads of dishes to do. You’ve got to do the day to day things to keep the stress of piled dishes, laundry, or mail from becoming insurmountable. Just remind yourself that that chore brings you one moment closer to the one you love. Or you can keep score and imagine the face your soldier (or Tara’s husband recently) when he hears he has 299 poopy diapers to change before you’re “back on dootie duty.”

Some of you need something more visual. Visit our blog for a deployment counter a.k.a. the Donut of Hope. http://www.armywifetalkradio.com/LovingASoldierBlog/DonutofHope.xls Many ladies swear by their online deployment ticker. If you haven’t tried one, it may be just the thing to affirm for you that time does march on.
You can count down days, weight you lost waiting, or the money you saved toward an awesome reunion vacation. There’s something to suit your taste; we promise. Just search “tickers” and/or “counters.”

Learn a new skill

From belly dancing to knitting, we heard it all. Learning a new skill creates confidence AND it helps you keep busy. It also brings you into contact with people with similar interests. A lot of tension can be broken by laughing (at yourself and with others) because a new knit sweater has three arms instead of two or because you’re the only one who brought an authentic grass skirt to belly dancing class.

You can also further your skills in areas such as personal fitness, higher education, or money management. If you don’t use this time to better yourself, for the benefit of your relationship, you are missing out. Make a list of those things your soldier doesn’t particularly like to do, but you love; start doing those things. Or maybe you have figured out what you’re currently trained to do is not particularly suited for the military lifestyle. Use the time now to explore and set your feet on a new path. Negotiate a budget to do this with extra deployment money and keep your soldier informed of all the good you’re doing.

Plan your life together

Scrapbooking and journaling are two ways of getting your ideas for the future down on paper. Build a binder to put clippings or notes in about Your Dream Vacation, Your Dream Home, or Your Ideal Retirement. You can open up the lines of communication by exploring these binder chapters with your deployed soldier. Tell him anything goes, gather his ideas, and then start working to meet in the middle. Focusing on the future brings hope to both fronts. It will be good to have these things to talk about in the ninth or tenth month of deployment when you feel all you have done is complain about how long the grass is or mouthy the kids are.

It’s very, very hard to feel lonely when you’re planning for and shaping your future with the one you love.

Even once you’ve implemented a few of these ideas, every day will not be easy. You’ll feel the urge to let the blues overcome you. In that moment, call one of your new friends and throw a “Whine & Cheese” pity party. Give yourself an allotted time and just do it. Get all the ugly out. But then, turn your eyes on the prize and focus on all the days you can and will do well.

Have other questions? To submit your Field Problem™, e-mail FromTheField@FieldProblems.com. Please include your first name, location, branch of service, and years in/associated with the military. Questions may be edited for length and clarity. Field Problems™ reserves the right to read on the air and/or publish on its Web site or in any other form the emails and letters that we receive. By sending us a letter or email, you agree to these terms.

© 2008, Crooks and Henderson. Field Problems TM is a self-syndicated column by authors and military spouses Tara Crooks & Starlett “Star” Henderson. Receive this and other Field Problems: SOLVED c/o Crooks and Henderson right in your inbox by signing up at www.FieldProblems.com. Field Problems™ is just one solution to the challenges encountered by military families in Crooks and Henderson's kitbag. Ask about workshops or Field Exercises™ customized to solve your or your organization's Field Problems™.

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