Bring on 2008

HAPPY NEW YEAR'S EVERYONE! I was prepared and more than ready for 2008 to be here. I stayed up until midnight and I'll tell you the minute I saw the ball drop I was blubbering like a baby. I don't know what came over me. Maybe it was the sudden realization that I made it through the year...still in tact...all in one peice...with some sanity remaining :) Maybe it was the thought that I only have three more months to go or maybe it was just the solid fact I spent the entire year alone and it was a long one that wore on me and it's now OVER! I love it and welcome o so welcome 2008!

Click here to read the rest of this post.

Wireless

Maybe I’m behind the times, but I just became wireless in my home with my newest Christmas gift of a Wireless Router! I feel liberated to surf, e-mail, research, etc… from all over the house now. This is what I’m wondering…. I decided to take the computer to bed with me…am I sick or what? I’m not kidding.

I put it on a large tray and then put the ac adapter in a pie plate because it seems to get warm and I didn’t want the bed to catch fire! I started thinking, is this normal or am I going off the deep end?
My thinking is I can check e-mails from hubby whenever I wake up (morning, middle of the night, late night) whenever my eyes open! I can surf, blog, connect to friends or whatever so much more now!!! I really like my new found connectivity, but looking at my computer sitting on a tray with the ac adapter sitting in a glass pie plate on hubby’s side of the bed has me wondering… Someone please tell me they do this too

Click here to read the rest of this post.

Elaine (Already Home author) requests your input

Elaine Dumler, whom many of you know, is working on a new resource to be completed by early spring 2008...and she needs your help! It's the 3rd book in the I'm Already Home series you've been using over the past 4+ years. This one is entirely about the most awaited part of deployment - Coming home!

It is designed to meet your needs around reunion and reintegration back as a family, back to work, and back into the community. Here's the information directly from her:

"If you're not familiar with the format that my books take- they are a compilation of the very best of your ideas, stories and resources. This one is no different, but I expect it to be bigger because you've come to know the care I take with your ideas and that I do have the resources to share them with thousands of families. I need your ideas, stories and resources NOW! I've designed a special page on my website where I've put all the information about the book, what I'm looking for, and what you'll receive in return for contributing. There is even a 2 minute video of me talking about thebook...just in case we've never met. I know it's pretty amateurish, but it was fun to do!

By clicking this link: http://www.ImAlreadyHome.com/ideas.htm you can go to that page and even find a form there to submit an idea right now! I need them all no later than January 31, 2008 for consideration in order to meet my deadlines. By the way, please forward this on to anyone who would like to help. Thank you from all the families you will be helping!"

Elaine G. Dumler
Frankly Speaking...
6460 W. 98th CourtWestminster, CO 80021
303-430-0592 cell: 303-956-0316
Elaine@ElaineDumler.com
http://www.ImAlreadyHome.com

Don't forget to leave your ideas for our LAS readers (in the comments) here too!

Click here to read the rest of this post.

Mess Hall: What's for Breakfast?

Merry Christmas!

I thought I would post this, since this month Tara has been asking about Christmas traditions. Also, I was not available for last Monday's Mess Hall.

One of our traditions is ham for Christmas Eve, ham for Christmas breakfast, and ham for Christmas lunch sandwiches. (Any one guess what's for New Year's eve? Ok, not ham. Yes, I know I'm not very funny.)

I personally believe that Christmas is the one day that no one should work! So, the extent of my "work" is putting this baby in the oven and pulling it out. It's our Christmas Casserole and my favorite tradition.

Overnight Ham and Egg Casserole

1 pound precooked ham (diced)
6 eggs
2 cups milk
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon ground mustard
7-10 slices white bread, cut into 1/2-inch cubes
1 1/2 cup shredded Cheddar cheese

In a large bowl, beat eggs; add milk, salt and mustard. Stir in bread cubes, cheese and ham. Pour into a greased 9x13 inch baking dish. Cover and refrigerate for 8 hours or overnight. Remove from the refrigerator 30 minutes before baking. Bake, uncovered, at 350 F for 40 minutes or until a knife inserted near the center comes out clean.

That easy and worry-free. I'm going to put mine together now.

Love and delight; best wishes for Christmas 2007!

Click here to read the rest of this post.

Here we go!

This is my first post on the Loving a Soldier blog. Tara asked me join a while ago but we have been moving and I am just now getting my first blog posted. Anyway....here we go:

My name is Tami and I am currently a National Guard wife. My husband of nine years got off of active duty in January of 2007 and instead of a civilian job ended up joining the guard in a full-time position. So, basically he is back on full time active duty. We are back to the same life as before with a few exceptions---
1. We live 1 1/2 hours from the nearest post. No commissary :(
2. We live near our family.
3. We can possibly stay put here for the next 11 years until retirement (if the guard has jobs as he progresses).
4. We are now a "guard family" instead of an "army family." I've yet to figure out the real difference but that is for another post.

We have two lovely children. Jack is four and Molly is three. We have two German shepards age nine and ten we just built (over the last LONG year) and moved into our new house. We have known Kevin and Tara for something like 11 years, though I've known Kevin since 1994. Yikes! I didn't realize it was that long.

I hope that I can offer a different perspective from a guard/civilian family and all the trials that go along with it. I will be posting as I learn, as I know very little about this new life. I know all the ins/outs of the regular Army but this is very new to me. I'm learning as I go. My first comment will be that there is NO SUPPORT here for National Guard families (or recruiters, or ROTC instructors). I hope to remedy that soon by starting up my own support group for spouses living away from an installation. We'll see what that holds when the holidays have passed.

I hope I'll get to know you all better as I become more active on the blog! Merry Christmas!

Click here to read the rest of this post.

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas everyone! If you are checking the blog today - Christmas Eve - you guys HAVE to check this out with your kids! Wrena and I have been tracking Santa all morning long!Check out more at www.NoradSanta.org We've been watching him on Google Earth and on these videos. It's so much fun! ....And To All A Good Night!

Click here to read the rest of this post.

My Favorite Things

I heard the popular Christmas song this morning and started thinking of what MY favorite things were. I have listed a few of my favorite things and hope to hear back of some of your favorite things!

Spontaneous back rubs
Phone calls from overseas
Giving gifts that people actually enjoy
Baking the perfect pie
Voluntary hugs
Falling snow
Smelling fresh wood in the fireplace
Naps
Christmas Spirit
A letter in the mailbox
Flowers on my birthday

Click here to read the rest of this post.

USAA Spreads Holiday Cheer!

USAA employees send holiday greetings via video – USAA employees gathered recently to record a Holiday salute video to members of the Armed Forces and their families at the company’s headquarters in San Antonio. In addition to the video, USAA, a long-time America Supports You corporate sponsor, offered its employees the opportunity to say thank you through the company web site. More than 700 employees shared their messages with America’s heroes. One of the first employees to respond was Angelita Aronce, whose husband is due to return from Iraq any day. “Last year my soldier was in Baghdad, Iraq and initially with the extension it looked like we were going to be without him again this year,” she said. “We have been blessed since he will be home in a couple of days. Although it was difficult to be without him, I was also very proud of him. I pray everyday that all of our soldiers stay safe and come home to their families.” (Photo courtesy of USAA)

Holiday Greetings to Our Troops -- Your Dedication and Sacrifice Honors Us All

Click here to read the rest of this post.

"Stay Positive" When He Calls Home

Loved ones stay positive in wartime calls home
By Rick Hampson, USA TODAY

On the war's fifth Christmas, here's a tableau Norman Rockwell might have appreciated: the family gathered by the tree for a new holiday ritual — the phone call from Iraq.

There are the soldier's parents and siblings, spouse and children, aunts, uncles, cousins. As the phone passes from hand to hand, everyone says the same thing. "Are you OK? Stay safe! I love you." The conversation is intense and emotional. And it is less than entirely honest.

That's because the purpose of this call — like tens of thousands of real ones that will take place this holiday season between the home front and the war zone — is not to inform and enlighten, but to comfort and support. Few of the callers, here or there, tell the whole truth all the time.



Cindy Hayes, 32, is an Army wife who lives with her daughter near Fort Campbell, Ky. When she talks with her husband, Zack, in Iraq, "I don't tell him anything that would distract him. If our daughter's sick, I just say she's sick. I don't give any details, because he'll think about that while he's on a mission."

Nor does she ask about what he's doing: "I don't want to know anything. I've heard stuff I shouldn't have heard when he was home. Now, we don't talk about it at all."

FIND MORE STORIES IN: Iraq | Afghanistan | Army | Samarra | Fort Campbell, Ky | Internet phone calls | Ender
Because people separated by the Iraq war can communicate so quickly and easily, many are careful about what they say, via text messages, e-mail, video and phone — not so much to protect military secrets as to protect each other. In the military, the mantra is: "Keep it positive."

The spouse at war doesn't say he almost got his leg blown off.

The spouse at home doesn't say Junior flunked biology or Sis came home with a nose ring. She doesn't say someone's been breaking into the empty houses near the base. She doesn't say she cries in the shower so the kids won't see.

Hayes acknowledges the cost of such survival tactics. In a way, she says, perpetual discretion "compromises a marriage. You're almost lying to make sure he's peaceful and happy."

Constant contact allows some people to give too much information — and forces others to give too little. On the line to Iraq, the old Rockwell virtues — openness, honesty, spontaneity — don't always apply. Not even at Christmas.

Voices make connection

In Iraq, for the first time in U.S. military history, the human voice has become the most important link to home.

Troops who invaded Afghanistan in 2001 sometimes were out of direct contact with their families for weeks or months. Now, soldiers and Marines head to Iraq with laptops, prepaid phone cards, software for Internet phone calls and video cameras.

In 2004, according to a survey by U.S. Military Academy sociologist Morten Ender, one-quarter of the troops in Iraq called family or friends in the States at least twice a week, and 10% phoned daily. Because more soldiers have cellphones now, Ender says calling frequency probably has increased significantly among the current force of 160,000.

They log more than 11.6 million minutes a month, according to the Defense Department.

The military has installed thousands of phone lines and established scores of Internet cafes in Iraq. The USO has given away more than 2 million prepaid phone cards. The Freedom Calls Foundation provides 1.5 million free calls a month to servicemembers and families.

As a result, the spouse-at-war can remain involved at home — to hire a lawn service, pay the bills, yell at the kids.

Last month, Army Maj. Eric Karis participated by phone in his daughter's parent-teacher conference in Fayetteville, N.C.

"If there's a real problem with the kids, I'll let him step in and say to them, 'Knock it off — listen to your Mom!' " says Karis' wife, Margaret.

When Gwen Devera-Waden was first deployed in 2005, she was able to call her husband and kids in North Carolina once a week; on this tour, the Army major can call every day. Spc. Brandi Palmer, an Army reservist, calls Salt Lake City first thing in the morning to speak to her 18-month-old daughter, Camri.

"It's so reassuring to hear her little voice, and hear her say, 'Mama!' when she hears my voice," Palmer says. "It's good to know she still knows who I am."

Each type of communication has its niche. E-mail is for daily details, minor news and quick questions (Where's the checkbook?). Video conferencing is for special occasions — everything from births to custody hearings. Letters are for romance and reflection.

The phone is for the most immediate and intimate conversations.

"It's a true connection, because you can tell from his voice how he's really feeling, if he's tired or happy or what," says Jessica Kurtzman of Fort Campbell, whose husband, Josh, commands an Army company in Samarra.

"One phone call can make everything happening at the time go away, and lift the spirits," Marine Sgt. Randy Morrow says. "Anytime I can talk to my wife and children on the phone, it is a great day."

Army Maj. Christopher West of Memphis likens a call home "to saying a prayer. … Once you finish, and feel that your prayer has been heard, you feel a whole lot better."

But because of what Ender, the West Point sociologist, calls "information overload," the home front sometimes intrudes on the war zone, and vice versa.

'A hindrance, a blessing'

In a 2005 study reported in the September issue of the journal Military Medicine, researchers found that home-front issues — including family, money and legal problems — worried troops stationed in Baghdad more than combat.

Constant contact with home "is as much a hindrance as a blessing," says Army Maj. Denise Michel of Lockport, N.Y.

"It increases the inability to focus here, and doesn't allow adjustment and consistency on the home front," Michel says. "And it increases depression, worry and frustration in some (who) realize they have no control over the things they once did."

Don Williamson, an Army chaplain in Afghanistan and a father of four from Missoula, Mont., commanded infantry on an earlier tour in Iraq.

"If a soldier does call home every day" and sometimes twice a day, he says, "then spouses simply tell their soldiers everything that is going on — good, bad and indifferent."

Personally, he says, "when I call home, my wife does not need to tell me that our youngest threw a tantrum, or the two oldest are fighting constantly."

Constant contact also has a downside at home. Families accustomed to daily phone or Internet contact with Iraq can be spooked when the military cuts off communication because of an enemy attack or a U.S. casualty.

"When you don't get a call, it's all you think about," says Pat Vardaro of Norwood, Mass., whose son, Pat Jr., is an Army officer. "Your imagination runs away from you."

This fall, Vardaro went for three weeks without hearing from his son — and was in the shower when he finally called.

Nothing hurts worse than missing a call.

Cindy Hayes was in a department store when Zack, an Army staff sergeant who escorts long-distance convoys, was able to place his first call home in weeks.

She realized she'd missed the call only after she was outside in the parking lot and heard her phone's voice-mail beep. She started sobbing.

Now she sleeps with her cell under her pillow and has moved the bed closer to the window for better reception. Like a lot of other military wives, she's always checking her phone signal.

Sometimes, a call only reinforces the sense of separation. Army Sgt. Neil Conant calls his wife, Ashley, at Fort Carson, Colo., almost daily from Baghdad.

She says she loves their talks, but it's almost easier when he can't call: "If I'm not talking to him, I'm not missing him so much. It's like I don't know he's missing."

The pitfalls of constant calling have given rise to a new telephone etiquette based on a code that Jaine Darwin, a Massachusetts psychologist who has counseled military families, calls "shield your soldier."

Kristin Henderson is the author of While They're at War, a book on deployments. She says that when her husband, a Navy chaplain, was in Iraq and Afghanistan, "I was playing a role. My job was to keep his morale up. 'I'm fine — how are you?' That's all I wanted to say."

Hayes knows the drill. She'll write an e-mail and, before sending it, spend 15 minutes editing out "everything I think would upset him, things you can't let him know." Like that she was crying as she put up the Christmas decorations.

She never cries on the phone, no matter how she feels, and keeps her emotions in check. "I miss you" is OK, she says; "I miss you and I can't make it without you here" is not.

The self-censoring works both ways. Hayes says her husband broke a rib in Iraq but told her he didn't know how.

"How," she wonders, "do you not know how you broke your rib?"

The need to keep it positive, even if it's not, puts stress on the spouse who must dissemble.

Tiffany Rodriguez of Syracuse, N.Y., says that when her husband was serving in Iraq she would try to hold her breath and "go numb" to avoid crying.

Kathy Quast of Rockford, Ill., says that when she talks to son Matt, "I try to be up for him. I don't want to cry. But it's so hard not to."

Jenn Marner, an Army wife who lives in Colorado Springs, says that when her husband was deployed, "I tried to be the strong one" and kept problems to herself.

That lasted for about a month, during which she cried herself to sleep each night. Her relationship with her husband suffered. "He wondered what was going on with me. … You have people who cheat, and the worst goes through your mind."

Her conclusion: "Couples need to exchange deep, heartfelt messages, not just 'keep it light.' They must walk the line between candor and discretion," she says, "and you know when you've crossed it."

'He never talks about war'

At Christmas, a single telephone call can bear the weight of a long separation — between the Kurtzmans at their family home in Maine and Josh in Samarra; the Karises in North Carolina and Eric in Baghdad; the Quasts in Illinois and Matt in Taji.

Kathy Quast knows the direction the conversation will take. "He never talks about war," she says. "He just talks about coming home."

What matters most, however, is not what is said, but that it can be said. Even that is no sure thing. Kathy Quast worries that something will happen to force U.S. commanders to close the phone lines, as they did last Christmas. She stayed home all day waiting for a call that never came.

Some soldiers will have to travel long distances or stand in long lines to get through.

Cindy Hayes and her daughter will fly to Los Angeles to spend the holiday with her family. They'll gather by the tree, her cellphone on the coffee table, waiting for a ring.

If Zack calls, it will be wonderful; if not, Cindy will have to be strong.

"I can't get mad," she says. "I have to learn to be very patient."

TIPS FOR CALLING
According to interviews with home-front families and servicemembers, here are some generally accepted do's and don'ts for phone calls with those in Iraq:

DO's

• Before deployment, work out a communication plan.

• Rehearse younger children before a call, lest they get tongue-tied, and write down your own talking points, in case a call catches you by surprise.

DON'Ts:

• Don't lie, because the soldier is coming home someday.

• Don't ask, "Are you OK?" more than once per conversation.

Lisa Jacobs, with Navy Customs in Kuwait, says she never says goodbye; it's too final. When she calls Stockbridge, Mich., she tells her folks, "I'll talk to you later."

A SHIELD MADE OF PAPER

Jessica Kurtzman felt she could not tell her husband, Josh, about her loneliness and fear when he was fighting in Iraq in 2003. She wanted his mind on his mission, not her problems. So she kept a journal, often making entries after their phone chats.

The journal served as an outlet for her feelings, and as a means for the couple to reconnect when he returned home to Fort Campbell, Ky. Among her entries:

June 20: Funny how there really is no differentiation between happy and sad crying anymore. It's all just crying. All I could do was cry when I got off the phone with him - out of relief, out of sheer missing him, out of the 50,000-plus emotions that I'm feeling.

Sept. 14: I pray these months fly by and I wake up on the day of his return as soon as possible. I hurt right now from loneliness, fear of the unknown and concern for my husband. I can't wait until it's all behind us.

Nov. 17: I miss how he looks at me. That look that just tells me that everything will be OK and that Josh just loves me and adores me as much as I love and adore him. It makes me feel safe and warm like nothing else does.

Today, Josh is back in Iraq, commanding an Army company in Samarra.

He says that "reading what she went through made me realize that her half of our marriage, during a deployment, was much more difficult than mine."

Click here to read the rest of this post.

AWTR Mess Hall 12/17/07 - Press Cookies

As promised on Monday night's show here is the Press Cookie recipe from Kevin's mama. Enjoy!

Jane's Press Cookies
1/2 cup butter
1/2 cup vegetable shortening
3/4 cup sugar
1 large egg
2 tsp. vanilla
2 cups flour
1/4 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp salt

Place butter and shortening together in mixer and cream together on medium speed for about five minutes. Slowly add sugar and beat until fluffy. Add egg and vanilla. Combine flour, baking powder, and salt in medium bowl. Add to butter mix in 3 additions. (add food coloring if you want) Press cookies onto baking sheets. Bake at 375 for 10 to 12 minutes. Careful not to overbake. Enjoy!

Click here to read the rest of this post.

Britney's Sister, Jamie Lynn Spears, is Pregnant!

I normally don't do "celebrity" gossip/news here on the blog but this one I just wanted to drop my jaw. Mainly because this is a show my daughter watches on Disney - ALOT. She's only six. We just got through reading PEOPLE a few months back where Vanessa Huggins (HS Musical) was having issues - I had to tell her that she could look at the pictures (she's totally IN LOVE with those movies) but let's not read the article when she saw it in the basket in my room. What do you guys think about this news below?

Jamie Lynne Spears, the 16-year-old sister of Britney Spears, is pregnant. The father is her 19-year-old boyfriend, Casey Aldridge, who she has been dating for a while and first met at church.

Jamie Lynn is on the cover of the new OK! which hit stands tomorrow. Inside Jamie and her mother, Lynn, have a six-page spread, spilling all about the expecting teenager.

Jamie currently stars on Nickelodeon's, "Zoey 101" and the kid's network has this to say about this --for lack of a better word -- shocking development:

"We respect Jamie Lynn's decision to take responsibility in this sensitive and personal situation. We know this is a very difficult time for her and her family, and our primary concern right now is for Jamie Lynn's well being."

And if you're wondering what Britney had to say about all of this, according to TMZ.com, she had yet to learn that she's about to become an aunt.

Click here to read the rest of this post.

10 Tips to help children celebrate holidays when a parent is deployed

Ten tips to help children celebrate holidays when a parent is deployed
© 2005 Rachel Robertson.
It seems like the whole country begins to celebrate the holidays as soon as the first snowflake hits the ground. Everywhere you look there are reminders of the season: stores decorated with tinsel and garland, strands of lights hanging from streetlights, advertisements for pictures with Santa, the smell of cinnamon and cloves at the grocery store, the holiday shopping frenzy. It is nearly impossible to not notice all of the holiday hustle and bustle, but when someone you love is absent, those constant reminders can often be painful.

Military children with a deployed parent are particularly susceptible to feelings of sadness during the holidays. There’s no doubt military kids can be resilient and resourceful, but they also face some emotional challenges during the holidays. Fortunately, with a little planning the adults in their lives can ensure a holiday season full of cheer, warmth, and cherished memories.

1. Honor traditions. It is important to determine what holiday traditions you cannot do without. Even if children aren’t old enough to help make the decisions, it is good to have them present during this discussion. Don't underestimate importance of continuity and the predictability of traditions. However, if there are traditions that your family could do without, consider skipping them for the year.

2. Start new traditions. Honoring traditions is important, but there's nothing wrong with starting new ones. Mix things up a little bit. Again, it is a good idea to involve kids in these decisions. Spending the holidays in a different location, having a potluck instead of a sit-down dinner, or even camping out on the living room floor one night may be enough of a change to refocus on the positive.

3. Celebrate with the deployed person. Even if your loved one is thousands of miles away, he or she can still help you celebrate. Send a care package with a special treat; mail a scrapbook after the holidays; or ask the deployed person to send you a homemade ornament or decoration. One year, when my husband was in the field for Christmas, he made an award winning ornament. You’d be surprised at what someone can do with a little PVC pipe and duct tape.

4. Remember what the holidays are about. Regardless of which holidays your family celebrates, this time of year is about kindness, caring, love, and peace. It is important to focus on the things you are grateful for. Teaching children to be selfless and to appreciate the joy in their lives despite the hardships is one of the best gifts you can give them.

5. Have fun! Some families decide to have a few laughs during the holiday season to ease the tension. One military family had a picture of their deployed dad blown up to life size and laminated. They proceeded to include him in all of the holiday events. He was in the family holiday photo and even had a place set for him at the dinner table. Another family decided to save their big holiday celebration until dad got home in July. It was a bit hard to find a Christmas tree in the summer so they used a ficus tree instead.

6. Document the event. Get out the video recorder, camera, and journal. Even when our loved ones don't get to be there to see everything, they certainly wish they could be. It is important to get the kids involved in this process. Not only will they have fun; it will shift their focus and allow them to process the holidays from a different perspective. Even if it is as simple as sitting near a fire sipping hot cocoa and sharing memories, both the children and the deployed person will appreciate the record of the event. As years pass those preserved memories will be treasured.

7. Take care of yourself. If you are taking care of the children during the deployment, it is imperative that you take care of yourself, too. Children are amazingly perceptive, and no matter how carefully you try to mask any gloomy feelings, they will know something is wrong. Make sure you talk about your feelings, share your sadness, spend time with friends, and do things for yourself. It's important to give children the gift of a safe, predictable, and happy home.

8. Don’t be alone. Military families near or on an installation have the benefit of having their “military family” nearby, but those that live far from a base often feel isolated. I spent my first Christmas as a military wife surrounded by civilians who had no idea how I felt. I will always remember the kind words and sage advice shared with me by a retired Marine. We were not close but he made the effort to check on me weekly throughout the holidays and shared with me how much my husband surely missed me too. That comfort from someone who knew what I was going through was priceless to me. The presence of extended family can be comforting as well. Regardless of whom you feel closest too, it is okay to ask for support.

9. Talk. Let your family know that it's okay to talk about feelings. Putting on a brave face for the sake of the children usually backfires. Often, honest conversation is the only thing necessary to lift spirits. Children need to know that a caring adult is there to listen when they have something to share or ask. It's essential that adults model positive communication. If the kids know you are sad, too -- but still able to be hopeful and happy -- they will feel much better. A family pizza night where everyone shares memories and feelings would be a great way to begin celebrating the holidays. Look at pictures of past holidays or pass a journal around to share memories to be sent to the deployed person.

10. Spread the cheer. While we often feel we have enough on our hands just taking care of ourselves, reaching out and helping someone else can really change a person’s perspective, including a child’s. Whether it's helping a new military family, donating toys, visiting a nursing home, or simply vowing to genuinely wish everyone you see a happy holiday season, this focus on helping others is not only good for you but a great model for your children, and can help bring families closer together.

Military children cope with so much: new schools, changing neighborhoods, friends who move, and deployed parents. A holiday full of laughter, shared and newly created memories, and quality family time is a truly deserved gift.

Rachel Robertson is an educator and trainer focused on child development. She is also the author of Deployment Journal for Kids, a special place for military kids to record their feelings and events when a loved one is deployed. For more information and special activities for kids going through deployments, visit www.deploymentkids.com

Click here to read the rest of this post.

AFCEA West Conference

AFCEA West Conference (www.West2008.org) at the San Diego Convention Center in February, 2008. These seminars are being provided as part of the conference and are free of charge for interested service members and families.

The seminars include:

Military and Financial Benefits Update for the Currently Serving (Tuesday, February 5th, 2:00 PM to 3:30 PM): A huge number of new financial benefits and programs for deployed service members and spouses have been created or improved in the last 5 years. Are you making the best use of what’s available today? This seminar aims to put more money in your pocket and improve your financial situation by bringing you the latest information on deployment financial programs, spouse education and employment programs, educational opportunities for military families and key legislative initiatives you need to know about.


Managing the Financial Transition from Military to Civilian Life (Tuesday, February 5th, 3:30 PM to 5:00 PM & Wednesday, February 6th, 3:00 PM to 4:30 PM): Are you prepared to make informed decisions about your civilian employer’s retirement plan? Do you know what your choices are with the TSP? Do you know what your next tax bracket will be? This seminar covers key financial issues faced by retiring or separating service members and their families as they move from the military to the private sector.

Focus on You: Career Guidance for Military Spouses (Wednesday, February 6th, 1:30 PM to 3:00 PM): Let’s face it…military spouses are probably one of the most over-educated, under-employed workforces around. Many employers are reluctant to hire military spouses…but they are missing the boat! This seminar will walk you through turning perceived “weaknesses” into employment strengths, introduce you to key networking tips and show you how to harness new employment trends to either land your own job or create your own business.

Marketing Yourself for a Second Career (Tuesday, February 5th, 10:00 AM to 12 noon): The Military Officers Association of America’s “Marketing Yourself for a Second Career” transition lecture program was founded in 1982 and today MOAA provides over 150 lectures annually on military installations throughout the US and overseas. It has a reputation as a “must attend” event for service members and their spouses three years or less away from separation or retirement. This seminar introduces the audience to the realities of the competitive civilian job market, perceptions of civilian employers regarding military personnel, networking outlines, tips for strengthening resumes, a plan for job searching, planning for and conducting successful interviews and negotiating salary and benefits packages.

Although these seminars are provided by speakers from MOAA, all ranks are welcome and encouraged to attend.

Click here to read the rest of this post.

Mommy Christmas Letter

Dear Santa,
I've been a good Mom all year. I've fed, cleaned and cuddled my children on demand, visited the
pediatrition's office more than my own doctor, and sold sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise
money to plant a shade tree on the school playground.

I was hoping you could spread my list out over several Christmases, since I had to write this
letter with my son's red crayon, on the back of a receipt in the laundry room, between cycles....
and who knows when I'll find anymore free time in the next 18 years.

Here are my Christmas wishes:
I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache, (in any color, except purple, I already have purple) and
arms that don't hurt or flap in the breeze, but are strong enough to pull my screaming child out
of the candy aisle in the grocery store.

I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventh month of my last pregnancy.

If you're hauling big ticket items this year I'd like fingerprint resistant windows and a radio
that only plays adult music, a television that doesn't broadcast any programs containing talking
animals, and a refrigerator with a secret compartment behind the crisper where I can hide to talk
on the phone.

On the practical side, I could use a talking doll that says, 'Yes, Mommy' to boost my parental
confidence, along with two kids who don't fight and three pairs of jeans that will zip all the
way up without the use of power tools.

I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting 'Don't eat in the living room' and 'Take
your hands off your brother,' because my voice seems to be just out of my children's hearing
range and can only be heard by the dog.

If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd settle for enough time to brush my teeth and
comb my hair in the same morning, or the luxury of eating food warmer than room temperature
without it being served in a Styrofoam container.

If you don't mind, I could also use a few Christmas miracles to brighten the holiday season.
Would it be too much trouble to declare chocolate a vegetable? It will clear my conscience
immensely. It would be helpful if you could coerce my children to help around the house without
demanding payment as if they were the bosses of an organized crime family.

Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is calling and my son saw my feet under the laundry room
door. I think he wants me to feed him or take him somewhere..

Have a safe trip and remember to leave your wet boots by the door and come in and dry off so you
don't catch cold. Help yourself to cookies on the table but don't eat too many or leave crumbs on
the carpet. (you promised me last year you would lose some weight with me so next year you and I
could be a cute size six...) Okay, some requests go too far.....

Yours Always,
MOM...

P.S. One more thing...you can cancel all my requests if you can keep my children, healthy, safe.
and of course, young enough to always believe in Santa.

Click here to read the rest of this post.

Dr. Stoop's Book from AWTR show tonight!

Here is the link to the book by Dr. Stoop that we featured on the show tonight. Remember when you purchase books through the AWTR booklist you are supporting our show and allowing us to keep our show free for all Army families! Thanks!!

Click here to read the rest of this post.

He's in Fort Rack

I bet you're wondering where Fort Rack is.  Well, if you have young kids, you might have guessed that's "Iraq."  He's been gone two weeks and one day, and we spent the month before he left spending time together and visiting family.  This was a very special time, and now I'm adjusting to being a Solo.  

I wanted to write about how safe I feel.  It seems odd to say that I feel safe considering my biggest protector has left the country, but I really feel the Lord is keeping us safe.   On Saturday the 8th, I braved a snow storm to go to a Chaplain's spouses' coffee.  On the way home, while stopped waiting to turn onto post, I almost got hit by someone who had lost control on ice.  I just happened to see them in time to take my foot off the brakes and roll into my turn and the other driver barely missed me.  

I believe the Lord led me to look into the rear view mirror so that I would be safe.  

But the story doesn't stop there.    I decided, after that experience, that I would not venture out the next day for church during the continuing storm.  The boys and I played outside and really enjoyed snow that NC just never gets!  (LOVING FORT CARSON!!)  

While the boys napped warm in their beds, I decided to work on some photos.  I turned on the tv to catch up on the news and saw the breaking news of the church shooting here in Colorado Springs.  This is the church we attend, and my heart was broken in two.  The shock of it all was unbelievable, I simply can't explain it.  But I realized that it was quite possible that the Lord used my almost getting hit the day before and a snow storm to keep me from church on Sunday.  (I'm stubborn, it takes that much to keep me away :)

I write all that to remind you that while many of us are without husbands in this country, we are not without protection.  It is so comforting to know that while I am praying for safety for my husband, he is praying for my safety and the safety of our three boys.  

Click here to read the rest of this post.

Christmas Shopping

While I do think this is news worthy, I decided to post this tidbit on the blog. I went to a Naval Exchange for the first time on Sunday. For the most part it was like the AAFES exchanges. There were two big differences that caught my attention, See's Candies and Vera Bradley bags.

My mom is from California, so See's Candies have always been a part of our Christmas tradition. If you haven't tried them, you have to, it is just good chocolate and fantastic toffee.

The Naval Exchange we went to had all of their Vera Bradley bags an extra 20% off the exchange price which was already almost $20 off some styles. If you are into Vera Bradley, run to your nearest Naval Exchange.

Ho Ho Ho Merry Christmas

Click here to read the rest of this post.

Operation Christmas Child

If you haven't heard of it, then go to http://samaritanspurse.org/OCC.asp?MPGID=1 and read all about it. My church has collected shoe boxes filled with little presents for many years now. It always warms my heart to see how the children in my church get so excited about sending simple things like pencils, crayons and socks to other children around the world. Today, our Christmas play for this year had a Operation Christmas Child theme. As all the children filed in with their camo pants and ID tags, I could fill my eyes tearing up. It wasn't until a blond headed little girl walked up to the microphone and said "We dedicate this year's Christmas play to the men and women serving in far away places who can't be with their families this Christmas. It is because of you that we can give gifts this Christmas" that I truly lost all my composer in the sanctuary. The play went on and was all the cuteness that a child's Christmas play should be. It's things like this that make me realize what a wonderful life I do have.

Click here to read the rest of this post.

Wreaths Across Fort Stewart, America

"It is a busy Saturday."
"It is the holidays."
"It is an hour drive."
"It's raining."

All reasons why we may have not gone to the first wreath laying ceremony at Warrior's Walk, Fort Stewart. I'm glad I was able to wrangle all (kids and husband) into the car and down to post. The ceremony was simple, but a respectful appropriate guessture in honor of our fallen soldiers and their families. I was proud of Fort Stewart for bringing the idea to fruition.

Remember the fallen;
Honor those who serve;
Teach our children the value of freedom.
~www.wreathsacrossamerica.com

Click here to read the rest of this post.

Doggy "Duty"

Courtesy: http://www.dogchannel.com/

For the first time in United States Army history, the military is sending two therapy dogs to Iraq – professionally trained and flown from the United States – to help relieve soldiers’ combat stress, according to guide dog service provider America’s VetDogs.

The black Labrador Retrievers, Boe and Budge, will provide emotional support for the troops, as they’ll be allowed to play with the dogs, or simply pet them. The dogs will work with their handlers and Army professionals to help address soldiers’ mental health issues as they arise.

“Dogs have been the unsung heroes of our war efforts,” said Major Stacie Caswell, commander of the 85th Medical Detachment. “Bringing therapy dogs will be another method that our combat stress teams can use to break down mental health stigma.”


America’s VetDogs, a division of the Guide Dog Foundation for the Blind, is providing the dogs to the Army’s 85th Medical Detachment. VetDog officials said they’ve been assured the dogs will be safe in Iraq.

A formal ceremony takes place Thursday, Dec. 13, at the VetDogs headquarters in Smithtown, N.Y., where the dogs will be handed over to the Army’s 85th Medical Detachment.

-----------------------
Courtesy: http://www.usatoday.com/
By Sharon L. Peters, Special for USA TODAY

Stressed troops in Iraq will get a first-of-its-kind holiday gift later this month: two long-eared, highly sensitive black Labrador retrievers that military officials hope will help soldiers navigate the ragged emotions of life in a war zone.

The specially selected and trained therapy dogs, Boe (pronounced Bo) and Budge, will be attached to combat stress units in Tikrit and Mosul, where "they'll be a vital part of the medical team" that helps troops struggling with stress, sleep disorders and event-related trauma, says Army Staff Sgt. Mike Calaway. He's one of two occupational-therapy assistants sent stateside to receive therapy-dog-handling instruction and return Boe and Budge to the 85th Medical Detachment combat-stress control unit.

This is the first time the military has placed therapy dogs in a combat zone, so it is unknown precisely to what degree troops will connect with and benefit from them. "We have a blank page," says Staff Sgt. Jack Greene. "We're writing on the page. We don't know what's going to be at the bottom of the page until we get there.

But at a minimum, the dogs "will be able to serve as an icebreaker and a communication link" between troubled troops and care providers, says Mike Sargeant, chief training officer for the non-profit America's VetDogs. Sergeant began preparing the 2-year-old Labs earlier this year after the Army queried whether the psychological benefits that therapy dogs provide stateside troops could be replicated in Iraq.

Therapy dogs offer affection without regard to "gender, race, disability or injury," says Sargeant, and in many settings, troubled people have come to regard the animal as "a safe haven of communication" and have opened up in ways they have not with humans. It's "too new to know just how far the magic will go" in a combat environment, he says, but he's convinced the two dogs are ideally suited to the challenge.

Boe and Budge are similar to each other in their affection for people and ability to tune into individuals' emotional states, but they have their own distinct personalities, Sargeant says. Boe is a stocky female with a playful nature who will cheerfully spend hours at someone's feet if that's what is asked, and Budge is a spunky male who's hard-wired to please.

Unlike guide or service dogs, therapy dogs aren't trained to alert people to ringing phones, maneuver them up or down stairs or pick up dropped items. Therapy dogs are trained to plug into humans and to be "completely non-judgmental," says Sargeant; that often prompts people to expose their vulnerabilities, uncap emotions and move past their difficulties.

Therapy dogs routinely undergo six to eight months of special training to ensure that, among other things, they'll keep their focus on people, no matter the distractions. Boe and Budge were put through additional paces to prepare for the sights, sounds and scents of a war zone. They've been acclimated to helicopter noise, explosions, gunfire, sirens and people from many cultures.

Also, most therapy dogs, which generally work with frail or ailing adults and children in hospitals, nursing homes, medical offices and other care facilities, are typically chosen for being "extremely soft with very low energy levels," Sargeant says, so they'll be content with prolonged inactivity. But knowing that the Army canines would be working very long days with people in their 20s, 30s and 40s who might benefit from some play or roughhousing with a dog, Sargeant wanted high-sensitivity dogs with great energy, and Budge and Boe qualified.
Both dogs know that when their therapy-dog jackets are put on, "they're on duty," Sargeant says. And no hurled tennis ball can cause them to lose their focus on people in their sphere. But when they're not working, they happily engage in raucous merrymaking.

The two dogs, born and trained on Long Island, N.Y., have spent 24 hours a day with their new handlers since Sunday, says Jeff Bressler, America's VetDogs executive vice president, and the four of them have undergone at least 10 hours of training with Sargeant every day since.
Four-footed foot soldiers Boe and Budge will fly to Fort Hood in Texas this weekend, where they'll undergo military physicals with Army veterinarians and be commissioned as Army sergeants. Next week they'll board a military charter plane to Kuwait (they'll fly in the cabin, not in crates beneath the plane) and from there journey to their respective units. Although travel in Iraq is not always direct or precisely on schedule, they're expected to reach their destinations by Christmas or soon after.

Sending therapy graduates into a war zone thousands of miles away is sweetened by the knowledge that "we know they're going on a very important mission," Bressler says.
"I know what they can give back to people," Sargeant says. "I'm going to be proud."
Budge and Boe "will be in areas that are kept safe," he says.

When the dogs' tour in Iraq ends — possibly years from now — they'll likely be deployed with the handlers they have at that time to a new locale or reassigned to a military hospital in the USA.
-----------------------------------------

So, what do you think about doggy "duty"? I personally think this is an amazing idea! The soldiers will respond so well to the dogs. I know we personally have two dogs - Lou (blue heeler, 10) and Bob (german short haired pointer, 1) and Kevin misses them TREMENDOUSLY (esp. Lou) when he is gone. I would think that if he were stressed or hurt that a dog would ease that pain.

I don't know what your experiences are but I know quite a few stories of the guys over there "adopting" Iraqi dogs and keeping them as "pets" in their camps. Kevin and the guys had this dog for quite awhile over at his camp where he was in Command. I sent packages to the dog. No kidding. He wrote home specifically asking for toys, treats, and food for their four legged friend.

Therapy dogs are doing such great work at places like Walter Reed and other hospitals around the nation. Dogs by nature are loyal, dependable, and brave - sounds familiar huh? Sounds to me alot like a soldier and his/her family. I think it's a great idea and a great pairing - soldier and man's best friend.

Click here to read the rest of this post.

That's MY alma mater...(so proud)

Michigan Tech Offers In-State Tuition to US Military Families Everywhere
For more information on this story contact:
Email: Jennifer Donovan
Phone: 906-487-4521

December 14, 2007—Starting with the first summer term of 2008, Michigan Technological University will offer in-state tuition to out-of-state students who are the offspring or spouse of a person on active U.S. military duty. Michigan Tech’s Board of Control approved the new Military Family Education Award at its December 14 meeting.

The award is meant to recognize and thank the military men and women who are serving their country.

“Our military men and women are putting their lives on the line for us every day,” said Michigan Tech President Glenn D. Mroz. “We hope that offering this educational assistance to their families will give them one less thing to worry about.”


The innovative idea arose earlier this year, after the son of a military man stationed outside Michigan was denied in-state tuition at a public university, even though he had graduated from a Michigan high school while his father was stationed in the state. Michigan is one of only three states that don’t automatically grant in-state tuition to Michigan residents stationed elsewhere or to non-residents stationed in Michigan.

“As far as we know, Michigan Tech is the first university in the country to offer this kind of award,” said John Lehman, assistant vice president for enrollment services.

U.S. Senator Carl Levin praised Michigan Tech for making the bold move to become the first state university to establish a policy granting in-state tuition to immediate family members of persons on active military duty anywhere in the world.

“We are deeply indebted to our men and women in uniform for their bravery and sacrifice,” said Levin, a Michigan senator who is chair of the Senate Armed Services Committee. “Michigan Tech’s decision to offer in-state tuition to the children or spouse of anyone on active military duty is a good way to show support for our military families.”


Retired Major General James A. Pocock, president of the Michigan Council of the Military Officers Association of America (MOAA), commented: “The MOAA applauds Michigan Technological University’s initiative in expanding in-state tuition status to children and spouses of all active duty service members. By going above and beyond what other universities offer, Michigan Tech demonstrates its support and appreciation for the contributions of America’s servicemen and women.”

Students will be eligible for a Military Family Education Award if a parent or spouse is on active military duty at the time the student applies to Michigan Tech. If a parent or spouse goes on active duty after a student is admitted, the student will be eligible for a Military Service Award at the beginning of the next semester.

Military Family Education Award recipients will have to qualify for admission to the University. Once a student receives the award, he or she will continue to receive it until graduation, providing a satisfactory record is maintained, even if the family member’s military status changes.

Students with a parent or spouse on full-time duty with the National Guard for more than a year also will be eligible for the Military Family Education Award.

There are more than 1.3 million men and women on active military duty in the U.S. Air Force, Army, Coast Guard, Marines, Navy, National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration and United States Public Health Service Commissioned Corps, and the National Guard and Reserve. “We welcome and encourage their children and spouses to apply to Michigan Tech,” Lehman said.

Michigan Technological University is a leading public research university, conducting research, developing new technologies and preparing students to create the future for a prosperous and sustainable world. Michigan Tech offers more than 120 undergraduate and graduate degree programs in engineering, forestry and environmental sciences, computer sciences, technology, business and economics, natural sciences, arts, humanities and social sciences.

Click here to read the rest of this post.

Allergies Schmallergies

So I thought I'd post an update on how it went at the allergist the other day. In true Mandie fashion it wasn't too surprising but it was interesting. It's amazing how much you learn about yourself during deployments, and the key to it all again...is Laughter.

I got up at an ungodly hour in the morning to get all the way into downtown Savannah by 7:45…the fog and traffic are never a good mixture. I'm all nervous when I walk in cause I'm thinking…ya know I'd be that one person who has a reaction to this and I'll bet I end up in the hospital by the end of the day.


Side note: I did gain 10 lbs whoohooo! I know that all of you probably want to ring my neck right now but I've been working dag gum hard to gain that weight…healthy weight. Of course it all goes to the one place I'd rather it not go but hey, I guess beggers can't be choosers J

I walk into the room and I'm lying on my stomach when I hear the two nurses outside talking…they are have a brand new student do my test…what the heck! I'm thinking…ok I know everyone has to start somewhere sometime but on ME…oh gosh here we go. They walk in and start drawing the little diagram on my back. I'm like ok…this can't be that bad…what the heck was I thinking. They started pricking me and it wasn't so bad on my upper back but on my lower back…oh my…it was quite tender. I immediately felt my back start swelling and itching. They finished and the girl was like ok you have to wait 15 minutes. I was like ok whatever. AND THEY LEFT ME! Ok 15 minutes is a long time…what if I had passed out or something…I mean hello. But I made it barely. I laid there FREEZING with my back itching, burning, stinging yeah you name it I was feeling it.

The doctor came through the door and the words out of his mouth were "Oh wow we have an interesting skin test." Ok keep this in mind…he had just walked through the door…he wasn't even anywhere near my back yet. I'm like geez. So he starts reading and measuring the whelps off my back to the nurse. Afterwards she rubs my back with alcohol and lotion and says she's going to get me some Claritin and something else and I just asked if I could take a Benadryl…so I did. I took one of my quick dissolve Benadryl strips…I'm like what the heck the Claritin is going to take like 45 minutes to take effect. At this point I haven't even seen my back yet. I get up and I go check it out in the mirror. Wow o Wow was it bad…very very bad. I was red and it looked like I had been stung about a bazillion times by ants. I should have taken my camera so I had proof of how mutilated it looked.

The doctor came back in a few minutes later and he sat down in the chair next to me and we started going over the results. And then he showed me the blood results from a few weeks ago and was comparing those to the skin test. So yeah…a "normal" person is supposed to have 1 or less allergens in their system…guess what my magic number was. Oh yeah come on give it your best guess… NOPE you're wrong (probably)…my allergen number was 863! That's right 863! I was like is that humanely possibly…well obviously it is cause I'm still walking and breathing but still…holy cow! By George we have a definite problem here. So here's what all it turns out I'm allergic to:

Mold (severest allergy): Go figure right…so no wonder I was so sick earlier this year living in the house with black mold…not only would it make a normal person sick but yeah I'm allergic to it. Just my luck right.

Dust (severe allergy): Well one can only dust so much right?

Grass (severe allergy): Oh darn I guess Daniel will have to do all the yard work when he gets home..shucks J

Cats (severe allergy): I already knew this one but it was kind of funny seeing the actual numbers…my feelings aren't hurt too badly…not too big of cat person.

Nuts: So yeah turns out I'm allergic to nuts (peanuts, pecans, walnuts, etc.) and I never even knew it. Now I don't eat nuts often enough to really know I guess but still…it's good thing I don't like peanut butter J

Corn: eh what can I say about that one…should have known though…it runs in my family.

Daisies: sigh…they're so pretty. Oh well at least I'm not allergic to roses or tulips!

Cattle and horse hair: I guess it's a good thing I don't live in the country anymore….mmmmmm.

Tuna: not affected by this one really. I hate tuna but I'm glad that's it though for the seafood cause I love me some seafood!

Fire Ants: (severe severe allergy): yeah those little boogers sent me to the ER on my latest trip cause they got me 5 times on the foot while I was outside washing cars.

Yellow Jackets, hornets, wasps, honeybees, etc. (severe allergy): so pretty much every flying insect known to man…I'm allergic to.

Ok so now that we've got the run down on just about everything…I have to go back in about 2 weeks for an insect skin test. So here's the killer…the insect skin test is where they put the direct venom on your skin ummmmm hello! So yeah, the doctor tells me that they sometimes have to send people to the hospital because they react too fast to it…I'm like hello…have I not told you that I'd be that person! So now I'm fretting this visit. But after that, I have to take allergy shots for the next three years of my life but the good thing is it apparently desensitizes you to where you don't deal with this for the rest of your life J

In the meantime, I'm going to invest in a HEPA filter for our house. Oh and the doctor was like just clean your house often just don't go neurotic or anything. I chuckled at this going oh if only my husband were here he'd be on the floor rolling right about now. I'm already at the neurotic part…I'm a clean freak! This coming from the girl who is up still at 4:30 am vacuuming and dusting and cleaning the house.

And the doctor told me to avoid insects…but see I have a problem with that. I can avoid them all day long but somehow they hunt me down! I swear I'm not joking! The spiders just seem to like me. This is where it gets interesting too because see Daniel and I had this as one of our understood marriage vows…his job was to kill the spiders! And now where is he…yup avoiding his duties as my husband that's what! Iraq what? Just a lame excuse (hehe). So now I have this regiment I follow when I come across a spider and I'll share it with you…it is as follows:

1. Scream, shout, do the little "oh my gosh" there's a spider dance.

2. Slowly back away while still keeping your eye on it

3. Gather composure…take hands from the top of your hand down back to your sides, take a deep breath in let it out, take a deep breath in let it out, take a deep breath in let it out! Never letting your eyes leave the little sucker.

4. Grab the nearest hard soled shoe and the raid…(note: flip flops WILL NOT WORK!) trust me I've learned from experience.

5. Take one last deep breath in and let it out while looking at your support group which has now gathered around looking at me like "what the heck are you doing" but their tails are wagging despite the fact that I'm off my rocker.

6. With one quick motion, smack the heck out of the booger yelling "die die die die spider!" Yes, it really does help and is quite liberating. Then quickly spray a continuous flow of raid at it yelling "no mercy"

7. Step back and pat myself on the back for having killed the spider, a job which I was not originally supposed to be doing, and getting congrats from the three doggies who are now excited because I'm excited J

8. Do the little happy dance cause I killed the spider

9. Go grab wads and wads of toilet paper and pick it up just barely and quickly throw it in the toilet and flush….if necessary flush again just to make sure there's no chance it's going to come back to life and crawl back up.

10. Sigh of relief


I truly am pathetic…oh boy. So when am I going to get a break…oh wait…April that's right. Well at least that isn't too too far away at the moment. I say that and tonight when I went out to the garage to throw the garbage out…I hear a hissing and rattling noise…yup you guessed it. RATTLESNAKE! I just stood there and laughed. ONLY ME! I'll be calling animal control to have them come pick it up. It was funny cause I didn't panic I was just like yup figured that's what it was…only me.

Hope everyone enjoyed my story. I enjoyed telling it and it's just another chapter in the life of Mandie or really the life of Mandie during deployment. Isn't it funny how the men in our lives suddenly seem to bring calm and security in our lives when they are around? One thing is for sure though; you never know just how strong you really are until you are faced with doing it alone!

Click here to read the rest of this post.

Your local elementary school penpals

I was thinking about our recent conversation about the letters to "any soldier" and I wanted to share something I experienced the year my son was in Iraq. The children in the 4th and 5th grade classes I was teaching art to, really enjoyed writing letters and drawing pictures for my son and his buddies. It gave them a sense of connectedness with what was going on in the world, and a sense that they, as Americans were at war and could make a difference for those fighting that war. I know that there are many civilians that would be willing to step up if we engaged them. My focus in life has often been children. We have mentioned that children are not as aware of the war in the way past generations have been. There is limited access to helping programs, and everything is politicized rather that our country pulling together.

For those who have a loved one who would enjoy getting some REAL mail (kids only do real) this may be something you can go to your local elementary schools for. Give the teachers and children an outlet . You offer to mail the cards, letters and drawings (so you can have the laughs first). Have the teacher call you about when to pick them up. Perhaps you can have a photo of your soldier in that classroom for the year. I know the 4th and 5th graders I had, prayed for my son daily and sent several packages of cards and letters which were shared around with his friends.

These letters included requests for pet scorpions, a newspaper that a creative young lady illustrated and filled with articles, jokes and a note of appreciation. At the end of the newspaper, she asked that if they liked her newspaper, would they please send it along to the General. (I am very interested to see where that kid goes in life!) They drew pictures of what they thought being a soldier was like. I explained that the soldiers were probably too busy to answer lots of letters, but my son wrote one letter to be read to the whole class. The highlight was my sons return ,and school visit in uniform, neither he nor they, will ever forget it. Just an idea that really turns out so good for all involved.

Click here to read the rest of this post.

Dear God,

...why, oh, why did I have 2 kids with birthdays around the holidays?

Seriously.

Not only do I have all of the holiday shopping, cookie baking, class holiday party baking, buying of the sprinkles for the decoration of the trees at the class holiday party, church pageant, church choir presentation robe coordination, 14 hour drive home, packing for the 14 hour drive home, and not forgetting the 1001 things I'm sure I will forget to make it all happen...

But now, I have to add birthday party planning, treat bag making, classroom party cupcake making, thank you note writing, and buying gifts with checks sent from family members too stumped to buy gifts themselves to the list.

Oh, wait a minute.

It's coming back to me.

2 deployments.

Ah, yes.

That was the reason. Okay, I remember.

That explains why I have December and January babies.

And the reason my kids get birthday gifts wrapped in holiday paper.

Click here to read the rest of this post.

NORAD TRACKS SANTA LIVE ON CHRISTMAS EVE

North American Aerospace Defense Command’s NORAD Tracks Santa Operations Center will be ready to kick into high gear beginning at 2 a.m. MST Dec. 24, 2007. During the 24 hours the center will operate, approximately 800 Santa tracking volunteers will cycle through answering telephone calls and e-mails from children around the world who wish to get a fix on Santa Claus’ whereabouts.

The NORAD Tracks Santa Web site, www.noradsanta.org, went live Nov. 16 and has already garnered an amazing 330,000 unique visitors from 167 countries.

This year, the public and children can participate directly in the following ways:

• Children and parents can countdown with the NORAD Tracks Santa Web site at www.noradsanta.org where there is a different activity occurring in the North Pole Village every day. On Dec. 24, children will be able to closely follow Santa’s progress around the world. Information will be available in English, French, German, Italian, Japanese and Spanish.

• Children can also receive updates on Santa’s Christmas Eve journey by calling the traditional “NORAD Tracks Santa” telephone hotline at 1-877-HI NORAD, or by e-mailing NORAD at noradtrackssanta@gmail.com. The NORAD Tracks Santa Operations Center will be operational for 24 hours beginning at 2:00 a.m. MST on Dec. 24.

Click here to read the rest of this post.

It's time for him to come home

Yep, it's official. Sure, I can list a million reasons - like the fact that cereal just won't do it for dinner, Lean Cuisines are so OVER, and now we've moved on to peanut butter and jelly sandwiches - or the fact that his tshirt no longer smells like him but like two rather toasty stinky dogs and some baby slobber.

But, tonight it was OFFICIAL. We reached into the spare change can and there was barely the .75 cents needed for Wrena's Friday ice cream treat at school. We're down to .14 cents. You see, Kev is the only one here that puts his change in that can, so he has to come home so that we have ice cream money because the school is "anal retentive" about it being EXACT change. A buck just won't do!

So, I'm calling the Pentagon tomorrow to explain why the man must come home on emergency leave - or maybe he should just come home for good. Perhaps I should call my FRG leader first and explain - I'm sure she'll understand. They'll send him right home --- RIGHT?

Ha ha ha ha ha!!!!

Click here to read the rest of this post.

Field Problem - So what, about rank?

This is my problem: rank and its associated weight, roles, and courtesies confuse me. I am a new Army wife. I don’t want to take too long to get up to speed, so can you give me your “Army wife” take on how to deal with rank I don’t recognize, soldiers out of uniform, and other army spouses? These things seem to come naturally to my husband. But then, there are nuances that he doesn’t even have to deal with like “becoming friends” with the commander’s wife. Could you please attempt to help and get me straight? Thanks! Madelyn, Fort Meade


Dear Madelyn:
Discussions about rank with people you do not know can be the equivalent of discussing sex education with your parents -- or it at least can feel that way. Discussion about rank with your husband can leave you feeling either dizzy and confused or still largely uninformed. While your husband and others seem to be “in the know,” we propose that they did not get there over night. They had to pool their resources and ask questions, just like you.

Where did they all learn it? Soldiers have classes on rank, customs, and courtesies in Basic Ttraining, Reserve Officer Training Corps (ROTC), or Officer Candidate School (OCS) to name a few places. Spouses learn from soldiers, other spouses and from their own experiences over time. At one point, they started from zero knowledge and they added to that by getting involved with Family Readiness Groups (FRG), taking Family Team Building classes, learning from their mistakes, and maybe from books. Check your local Base or Post Exchange or Military Clothing Sales Store for books suited to your learning style. Star here: “I brush up, once in awhile, by reviewing my husband’s Army Officer’s Guide. There is an enlisted soldier and NCO equivalent.”

In the mean time, let us bring you through some basics and see if we can answer your specific questions. It is important to start off thinking of rank as a necessary structure within a military organization. It is necessary; it is not evil and most soldiers are getting a fair shake by it. In those cases where you hear ugly things about abuse of power and lack of recognition, “believe none of what you hear and only half of what you see.” It, the rank structure, is necessary like employees, managers and executives are necessary in the corporate world. For the Army, the structure breaks down like this (from bottom, up): enlisted members, non-commissioned officers (NCOs), and officers who include Warrant Officers.

Rank is a function of time served, experience gained, education level achieved, and choice. This last one we mention because it is not uncommon anymore to meet an NCO and officer with the same number of deployments, years served, and with the same level of education. But, in some part of their history, they chose different paths. However, they are both soldiers just with different rank and roles that play out in what and how much they are responsible for. Boiled down, that difference is what helps other soldiers determine which customary courtesy to render i.e. the salute for an officer or standing “at ease” for an NCO. Either way, the courtesies rendered are meant to uphold military tradition and communicate respect.

In this watered down world though, courtesies are rendered sometimes haphazardly or with less of a “snap-to” than exhibited in say a movie about WWII. This could be a reason why someone new to the organization has such a hard time figuring what is right vs. wrong. Using your husband’s protocol can be a good guide to “how much and when.” Watch who he addresses as “sir” or “ma’am,” “chief,” or “sergeant.” Pay attention to the persons he salutes. And, get to know with whom he just “hangs out.” (These are the people that you will want to recognize and address at the exchange or at the chapel on Sunday. All others, you should be respectful and personable towards, because you do not know who it is you are addressing and when you may see them next.) Following along should keep you out of trouble with him and the military; that is to say, as long as your husband has his own career interests at heart and is following the correct protocol himself.

Professionalism and respect are qualities that should help you to develop a relationship with the commander’s spouse or any other military spouse for that matter. And, opportunities for developing those relationships will present themselves through volunteerism and the organization’s social events.

Here are a few tips to make the grade in these situations:
Always introduce yourself.
Inquire about the person’s name and their association with the unit.
Focus on the goals of the event whether it is social or professional, like an FRG meeting.
Come and go with an open mind.

Introducing yourself and asking for an introduction keeps all guessing aside. You know to whom you are talking and that will help guide the decisions about what and how you say things. There is not much worse than complaining about the new battalion commander to his own wife, just after you stated your name and your husband’s name. It is also beneficial to keep in mind that everyone is busy, so unless you are attending to “forced fun,” then your mind should be at the meeting’s task at hand like when and where the next FRG elections will be held. This will keep you in good accord with all the busy FRG members regardless of their spouse’s rank.

Developing friendships is just a bit harder. In all cases, be friendly with everyone and as said before, “Come and go with and open mind.” But, let this bear on your choice of friends -- you may enjoy the Battalion Commander’s wife’s company, but your husband (if he is a specialist, for example) and hers would be hard pressed to find anyone that would approve of a relationship between them, outside the office. You can do it, but some factors make it hard for you to do family get-togethers or a couple’s night out. The best advice we can offer in this situation is for you to get doing the things you like and find individuals there and also work with your husband to form relationships with his battle buddies and their spouses.

In closing, we want to ask you to remember how you feel at this very moment. You are not the first, nor will you be the last, that has been less than thrilled about trying to keep these matters in check. Remember to be compassionate to the next person that asks or looks confused. Also, in any case that you and your husband are still confused, defer to the senior ranking and their example. We truly hope this helps.

Here are some other sources of good information on the traditions of rank and military courtesy.

Chapter 4 Customs, Courtesies and Traditions, FM (Field Manual) 7-21-13 can be found at http://www.globalsecurity.org/military/library/policy/army/fm/7-21-13/chap4.htm

Army Family Team Building online training at http://www.myarmylifetoo.com/

Discussion Forums like the ones at CinCHouse.com, http://forum.cinchouse.com/groupee

Recent (winter 2007) talk on the subject: http://www.milspouse.com/relationships.aspx and http://www.cinchouse.com/column.asp?postid=1045

Have other questions? To submit your Field Problem™, e-mail FromTheField@FieldProblems.com. Please include your first name, location, branch of service, and years in/associated with the military. Questions may be edited for length and clarity. Field Problems™ reserves the right to read on the air and/or publish on its Web site or in any other form the emails and letters that we receive. By sending us a letter or email, you agree to these terms.

© 2007, Crooks and Henderson. Field Problems TM is a self-syndicated column by authors and military spouses Tara Crooks & Starlett “Star” Henderson. Field Problems™ is just one solution to the challenges encountered by military families in Crooks and Henderson's kitbag. See http://www.fieldproblems.com/ to read more about their real-time FP Chat room and mobile workshops or Field Exercises™ customized to solve your or your organization's Field Problems™.

Click here to read the rest of this post.

Thankful

You all know how I am about lyrics to songs and how they speak to me. Well, I recently purchased Josh Groban's new Christmas CD. There is a song (track 6) on it called THANKFUL. If you have not heard it, I recommend it - HIGHLY. It is one fo those songs that just really speaks to you and takes you somewhere beyond the music. Not to mention, the man has a BEAUTIFUL voice. It is a very "ahhhhh" song - you'll find yourself in a very peaceful place while you're listening. The words really are applicable to our military journey. The last verse especially true, I think, for our community. It's true too....it IS up to us to be the change. And...there IS so much to be thankful for.....I thought I would share.......

Somedays, we forget to look around us,
Somedays, we can't see the joy that surrounds us,
So caught up inside ourselves,
We take when we should give,
So for tonight we pray for,
What we know can be,
And on this day we hope for,
What we still can't see,
It's up to us, to be the change,
And even though we all can still do more,
There's so much to be thankful for,

Look beyond ourselves,
There's so much sorrow,
It's way to late to say, I'll cry tomorrow
Each of us must find our truth,
It's so long overdue,
So for tonight we pray for,
What we know can be,
And everyday, we hope for,
What we still can't see,
It's up to us, to be the change,
And even though we all can still do more,
There's so much to be thankful for,

Even with our differences,
There is a place were all connected,
Each of us can find each others light,
So for tonight, we pray for
What we know can be,
And on this day, we hope for,
What we still can't see,
It's up to us, to be the change,
And even though this world can still do so much more
There's so much to be thankful for.

Click here to read the rest of this post.

No mail for "Any Soldier"

I was reading in the news today about a dilemma that has come up now during the holiday season. Many people have attempted to send holiday greetings to our deployed and injured soldiers by addressing letters and packages to "Any Soldier". These items are not being delivered because of security issues. I understand the policy even though I have thought it was a shame that it needs to be that way.

I remember as a high school student organizing letter writing campaigns for our Desert Storm troops. In that you can read 1)my age 2) I have always loved my country and had the utmost respect for our soldiers. We always addressed our letters to "Any Soldier". We received many letters of appreciation in return. Thinking back on that time, I can't help but be nostalgic for the seemingly innocent times when no one even gave a second thought to the practice.

Today I also read some of the comments that followed the news story. Many people were very upset by the policy and the fact that there is even a need for the policy. Others seemed personally offended. Although most active and prior service comments I read seemed to understand the reason well, there were some veterans who complained and shared that sometimes it was the unexpected letter that helped them get through tough times.

This really just got to me thinking. I have never questioned the new policy....I see the logic behind it. Just thinking about my husband....I suppose surprise letters of appreciation would be nice. However, when I think about some nut case getting the bright idea to send tainted letters (remember the anthrax scares in Washington D.C.?) it does not seem worth it. Also, I remember my husband coming home so upset one day several years ago after leaving the recruiting office. Now you have to understand my guy is a soldier through and through and not much gets to him......but he was delivered a letter from an anti-war protester personally attacking him for being a "baby killer". Shortly after, the protesters took up residence in front of the recruiting office. It was such a tough day for him. I don't know if he ever thinks about that day anymore...but I do sometimes. I was so hurt, angry, and indignant on his behalf....I don't want him needlessly exposed to hate messages. Unfortunately, I can see that some misguided people might get the idea to send such messages to our troops. The varied opinions I read today frankly surprised me. My first thought was to come here to my "peeps"......yes I really said that. :-) and see what you guys thought about it. So....what are your thoughts?

Click here to read the rest of this post.

Wii Wish You A Merry Christmas

So, the hot new toy this season is the Nintendo Wii. I KNOW nothing about games. My daughter set out to do her Christmas list and letter to Santa after Thanksgiving. I conquered the entire list. Last week she came home to tell me that she had written him a follow up letter at school. There were the normal things - Hannah Montana doll, HS Musical II DVD - check. There were sweet things like - Please bring me my daddy and if you can't bring him be sure to take care of him and his soldiers. Awww....She even said "his name is....CPT Crooks and he's in Iraq" I didn't have the heart to tell her he's among three gazillion other soldiers...and oh yeah, he'd been promoted. (Note: he's always CPT Crooks to us - sheesh they stay that rank forever!) Anyway, at the VERY end of this little conversation she says to me, "Oh! And Mama? Santa is going to bring me a Wii." I blew it off for a second and then I said WHAT? A wee? What is a wee? She proceeded to explain. Well I told her that Santa would probably be doing nothing of the sort because that just sounded too expensive and he had to save his money because he had so many other children to take care of. Then I said that I thought he had already taken care of her list that he already had received. You see where I am going here? Well she PROMPTLY and EMPHATICALLY tells me that Santa doesn't BUY toys he MAKES them and that it doesn't matter how much they cost at the store. DUH! (DUH is what I was thinking) Man, she's too smart for her own good huh? LOL!

Well, my sister (21) tells me that I HAVE TO GET HER ONE - I JUST HAVE TO! They are so cool. If I will go stand in line at Circuit City at blah blah blah -- that's all I heard. I AM NOT, I REPEAT, NOT standing in line at Circuit City for a 300.00 video game with a screaming baby and a six year old that by the way thinks it's from Santa anyway right? I told her she could do it. She laughed. Well, last night during my sleepless hours I woke back up and decided I'd check out eBay. I searched the web and to no surprise they are sold out everywhere. On eBay these suckers are going for 700 and 800 bucks! INSANE!

I finally bid on one I felt comfortable being a reputable seller - it scares me to no end - and by the way no where NEAR 800 bucks! I guess it pays to be online late late at night and bidding because I didn't do too bad. I guess we're getting a wii for Christmas. Though I will say - at that price it is something for the "family" not just for her and it's staying in the living room because it's too pricey to just let her have a free for all in her room with it. That's her gift. The main shebang! (and about 150 dollars more than I wanted to spend on Christmas this year) I did good with everything else so I guess I can't complain.

Do any of you have a wii? Now that I said I was going to get it my husband wrote me today and said it sounded cool but he was really against video games because he would rather her be outside. I agree, but I read up on it before I bid on it (and talked to my mom and sister) and it looks like something fun, interactive, and better than sitting in front of a tv like a lump?
Here is some feedback I found on the web - but of course there is bad and good out there both. I thought maybe one of you could lend me your thoughts......

Fromhttp://hubpages.com/hub/Wii-Women---or-Why-I-Wii

Why I think the Wii is cool
It prompted me to get up off the couch and actually move!
It made my husband and me play a game for the first time in our years of marriage
After playing it I wanted to go out and actually play the real sports (tennis, bowling, golf etc - not sure about base ball - the pitching interaction needs some work. Nintendo - please take note)
It gets your heart rate up (not sure if you can actually lose weight but for a person who does not exercise this was quite a new feeling! I felt energized! Like I could tackle the dirty dishes in the sink and fold laundry even at 11:30 pm!)
We took it to a party and far from being an isolating experience, everyone got into it - including some 60 something year olds who initially scoffed at this ‘video game'. Everyone was trying to see the ‘fitness age' of each other.
It's interaction - it's really nicely designed. The feedback the controller gives you, the sound effects, the interface (even though the graphics can't compare with others) is well thought out. - The possibility that the controller may change the way we interact with computes in the future - just the way the mouse did.

Click here to read the rest of this post.

Another Holiday Chuckle...

Click here to read the rest of this post.

University Announces The New Center for Military Spouse Studies

AJU is proud to be chosen to participate in the Military Spouse-Friendly Schools initiative, led by the Department of Defense Office of Military Community and Family Policy (MC&FP).

In addition to participating in the program, AJU also released a web site helping military spouses take advantage of the programs offered. Please visit the site at http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?e=001UvlJ--lHLBxSmpOBpMH9dHqEI1pbRReKaM7-U74oF8t4dfnhFeV8GK2G8w2qm9lNqnAzY7zdrt3TcfXrs0W5KoB9kFBfl8P-ZGLT4qDOv3dhJV0XscxXSd2gZ49g7eB5

Click here to read the rest of this post.

Conga- Rats! (you know, rats all in a line dancing??)

HOOAH to Star for keeping up with me in the chat room tonight! Kudos to the LAS Bloggers - Heather, Sarah News 6, and Janine (and Star too) for sharing with us! :)

Here are our BIG WINNERS! If you missed the show - IT WAS A BLAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1 - The Ultimate Guide To The Perfect Word Betty
2 - A Paper Hug Book & Card Package Sarah, News 6
3- Autogaphed Help I'm A Military Spouse Kattarina
4- Better Than Ever - 7 Secrets To A Great Marriage Heather
5- Portraits of The Toughest Job In The Army Sailor Princess
6- The No-Cry Discipline Solution Janine
7- Back From The Front Crystal
8 - Fat Is Not Your Fate Liz
9- Operation Celebration Book & Card Package Heather
10- I'm Already Home...Again Nikki
11- Under The Willow Lavendar Soap & Mary Kay Lip Stick Package Sarah, News 6
12- CamoSock Nikki

Click here to read the rest of this post.

Give Me Strength

Give me the strength to.........

1. Get to the mountain of laundry without crying.
2. Send out all the Christmas cards on time.
3. Make a million cookies, send them out, all without eating or breaking them.
4. Wash all the dishes in the sink.
5. Clean out the main closet so it looks like one and not a junk yard.
6. Get a family picture done with all of us at least looking at the Camera.
7. Find a good recipe for Christmas dinner that EVERYONE will eat.
8. Clean the oven and find all the broken pieces of my Pyrex that burst.
9. Finally walk across the street to meet my new neighbor.
10. Sort through boxes of my oldest sons clothes and switch my youngest sons clothes with those.
11. Sort through the toy boxes and throw out as much as I can without the kids noticing.
12. Get to the gym at least for an hour three times a week.
13. Get to my church duties on time and to finish and follow through.
14. Get my kids to behave COMPLETELY before my mother-in-law comes, which includes eating all their food, not having accidents, accepting my decisions, going to bed on time, and staying happy and smiling all day long!
15. Accept reality and come to terms with the fact that I'm probably not going to get to everything and if I do, know that along to way another chore will replace the one I just finished.

Now all I need is a nap, that list tires me out just looking at it!

Click here to read the rest of this post.

$35 Special

I went to the post office today, joy of all joys, to send a friend some Preggie Drops, which are fantastic when you are pregnant for morning sickness. I also needed to buy stamps for Christmas cards. With a 4 1/2 year old, 2 1/2 year old and a 13 month old anything is an adventure. I had C in the backpack, S on my hip, and holding H's hand. S had a wonderful time sitting on all of the benches and low shelves. Fortunately H is now old enough to hold a spot in the line while I run after S. We managed to get everything mailed and purchased. Everything was going swimmingly until some older lady behind me belches "Geez you've got three of them, ugh." I chose to ignore her, until she told her companion, "She's got one on her back and one on her hip and then there's another one." I yelled back, "they are beautiful children, not rabid dogs." I am really sick and tired of people commenting on my children. "Are they all yours?" "Wow there are three of them." Those are the two I get the most. It drives me insane.

So, I get everybody back across the street and into their car seats and wouldn't you know it, when I turn on the wind shield wipers, I have a blasted parking ticket.

$35, isn't that special.

Click here to read the rest of this post.

Are You Enjoying the Book?

I hope everyone is enjoying our December's book club selection as much as I am. I love the 'Chicken Soup' books anyway...and this Chicken Soup for the Military Wife's Soul is just full of stories that are not only touching , but so easily relatable to my own life. It seems that every time I sit down to read I come away with a new favorite story.

So far, though, I have two absolute favorites. My first one is the first story in the book. It is the one about the old man in the commissary looking for his wife's brand of soap so he could smell her. I could relate to that feeling of just wanting to catch a whiff of my beloved's scent. I also loved the reminder that no matter how tough and capable of soldiers our guys are......they need us and they have a spot in their hearts that only we can fill.

My second "very favorite" story chronicles the waiting that a young wife and mother endures while her husband is away fighting. Her constant companion is a picture of a young girl looking longingly out into the sea. I admired her quiet strength and patience as she went months and months with no word from her husband. On homecoming day, I felt her hope, fear, and dread mount as family after family reunited and left together. I cried as she turned to walk back home alone......I cried even more when she heard a familiar voice ask her if she would like to walk home with her husband.
Jeez...I am crying now.

Just so you know...not all the stories are tear jerkers. There are funny ones too. If you haven't started reading this month's book yet, it is not too late. I promise that you will be glad you took the time.

If you are reading along....which stories have you enjoyed the most? I would love to hear which ones touched you...made you laugh or cry. Is there a particular one that you really identified with?

Click here to read the rest of this post.

Support Your Local American Legion....and Let Them Support You

The American Legion Post and the Womens' Auxiliary in Pembroke, GA is hosting a Christmas party for the spouses and children of deployed soldiers in the Pembroke and Ellabell area. The festivities begin at 7:30pm Thursday, December 13. Dinner will be provided and my sources tell me that Santa just may very well stop by. If you would like to attend please call 653-4958 or 653-5878 to RSVP.

***I spoke to one of the members of the American Legion. She is helping the Women's Auxiliary (the spouses of the American Legion members) plan and host the party. She cracked me up because she said even though she is a veteran, she generally ends up with the wives. I said "Well yeah, that is where the fun is." She laughed.....I'm not sure if that meant she agreed or not. ;-)
I hope those in the area will come and join us. As if Santa wasn't enough of a draw.........I'll be bringing my famous BLT dip.

Click here to read the rest of this post.

WIN tomorrow night AWTR Christmas Party!

Tomorrow night's show is featuring AWTR Loving A Soldier Bloggers - Heather, Sarah News 6, Janine, Star and me! We're celebrating Christmas AWTR style! Join us in the LIVE CHAT ROOM during the show (click on the CHAT AVAILABLE green button during the LIVE broadcast) to WIN prizes! Put your Christmas thinking caps on! We're talking about Christmas traditions with our families and giving away some fabulous prizes! It is going to be TONS of fun!

Enter the chat between 8 and 8:15 to be assigned your "number" to use as you answer Christmas trivia. Star Henderson (CrooksandHenderson) will be giving those out. Deadline is 8:15pm. Ask Star for your number so that you can be ready when it's time to start! We'll give away prizes DURING THE GUEST INTERVIEW of the LOVING A SOLDIER BLOGGERS! You'll know when it starts! You must be IN THE CHATROOM to win and LISTENING TO THE SHOW to get the questions! Answers must come in the form - Your number - The answer. For example - I ask "what is the host of AWTR's name?" and you are number 5, so you would quickly type in 5-Tara for the WIN! First person to answer, gets the prize.

There are 12 questions - hence 12 prizes - for the 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS!

1 - The Ultimate Guide To The Perfect Word
2 - A Paper Hug Book & Card Package
3- Autogaphed Help I'm A Military Spouse
4- Better Than Ever - 7 Secrets To A Great Marriage
5- Portraits of The Toughest Job In The Army
6- The No-Cry Discipline Solution
7- Back From The Front
8 - Fat Is Not Your Fate
9- Operation Celebration Book & Card Package
10- I'm Already Home...Again
11- Under The Willow Lavendar Soap & Mary Kay Lip Stick Package
12- CamoSock
* Each package contains a "The Heart Of America" CD courtesy ACM Records & an AWTR post it pad
** Prizes must be claimed no later than WED DECEMBER 12th 5pm EST via email to tara@armywifetalkradio.com. When you email you will recieve a reply - if you do not ge a reply, we did not get your email!
*** Participants are only eligible to win 2 Times during the Dec 10th show.

See you tomorrow night!

Click here to read the rest of this post.

Mrs. Clause Must Be A Military Spouse

Mrs. Clause Must Be A Military Spouse
by Candace Lindeman

Faced with the prospect of spending another holiday alone, military spouses might recognize a kindred spirit this Christmas season: Mrs. Clause. She must be a military wife! (Yes, we know there's not an "E" on the end of Santa Claus, but given the military's penchant for "clauses" we enjoyed the humor! We hope you do, too.)

1. Mrs. Clause supports her spouse. Because she works tirelessly as part of “Team Clause the general public defines her by his job. We military spouses realize, though, that she is so much more!

2. Mrs. Clause will move anywhere to be with Old St. Nick. This is perhaps the most convincing evidence. Who else but a military spouse would follow her husband on assignment to the freezing North Pole?

3. Mrs. Clause makes the best of every situation. Her generous and kind spirit makes even the coldest of places warm and inviting. She could do wonders with post housing!

4. Mrs. Clause worries about her husband’s dangerous job. When Santa is off flying around the globe, Mrs. Clause keeps her concerns and tears to herself. But we all know she has more than her fair share of gray hairs! Perhaps she has installed a Web cam on Santa’s sleigh so she can see him on Christmas Eve.

5. Mrs. Clause keeps the home fires burning. Imagine her leading a family support group meeting for residents of the North Pole. In turn, she’s surrounded by love and good will.

6. Mrs. Clause understands that the mission is first priority. Even when Santa is home, he is so busy at work that Mrs. Clause hardly sees him. Like all members of our special society of spouses, Mrs. Clause understands that, though she may be last on Santa's schedule, she is first in his heart.

7. Mrs. Clause is frugal. Santa's salary is not published, but I suspect Mrs. Clause clips coupons to support a household of hundreds of elves and eight reindeer (plus the newest addition, Rudolph). Let's not even start on her heating bill!

8. Mrs. Clause knows how to keep her mind occupied. To stay busy, Mrs. Clause pitches in with the toy making (although it really is someone else’s job), bakes hundreds of cookies (we all know how Santa feels about cookies) and volunteers her time (she is just as generous as her husband).

9. Mrs. Clause is underemployed. To take her mind off of her husband's safety (and to help with the bills) Mrs. Clause probably has a paying job, too. Although we know her for her kindness, Mrs. Clause is also a smart, independent self-starter. Since she has to work seasonally and values family life above all else, however, I doubt that this job fully uses her considerable skills and training.

10. Mrs. Clause is married to a genuine hero. For Mrs. Clause and military spouses alike it’s worth all of the sacrifice to be married to someone you truly respect and admire.Mrs. Clause assists Santa and encourages him in his meaningful work. Just as Santa performs his duty selflessly with an attitude that could best be described as … well, jolly, Mrs. Clause also knows how to accentuate the positive. Surely Mrs. Clause is one of us, part of the special breed called the military spouse.

Click here to read the rest of this post.

Male Spouses

Upon researching about our "discussion" here on the blog a few days ago I found a good article at MilSpouse.com (Military Spouse Magazine's website).

Male Spouse Challenges
by Theresa Sullivan

The Challenge
On the other side of the coin, many male spouses are not comfortable getting too chummy with female spouses for fear of the appearance of impropriety, McDowell says. “There are predators out there who will hit on wives while their husbands are gone,” he states. “Overcoming that is a challenge.”
McDowell notes that infidelity on the part of deployed wives is another concern for the male spouses at home, especially among the younger men. “Fear of their wives cheating on them is their biggest concern,” he says. He sees this as a “maturity factor.”
Johnson realizes the “need to be sensitive and accommodate.” She notes, “When you walk into any group, you want to feel connected and accepted.”
Gender differences create major roadblocks in connecting and forging friendships through spouse groups, however. “We should not assume that ‘one size fits all’ for military-spouse groups,” says Lani Leary, Ph.D., a psychologist and thanatologist. A military spouse herself, Leary says, “Groups that meet to talk and discuss feelings may not meet the male spouse’s need for camaraderie and activity.”
McDowell sees it as a Mars/Venus thing. When it comes to support groups in which women are in the majority, “the Army speaks Venus,” he states.
Johnson says, “It takes a strong commitment on the part of the husband or father to want to get involved.”
Different Needs
Despite the best efforts of both the service and the male spouses, the chasm exists because, according to Leary, “Males are most often supported in different ways than females.” She suggests putting support into “action-oriented activities and ways of being together” instead of the female-oriented model of “support through verbal exchange.”
Although McDowell took the training to be a Care Team member, which is a military-family support system mobilized in case of a death, he warned his group not to come to him if the unthinkable were to happen. “They would find me lying on the kitchen floor in a pile of beer cans. That’s what guys do,” he says.
McDowell does acknowledge a need to “identify and pattern some programs for people who will resist you 100 percent, like the typical guy.”
The Differences
According to Leary, women benefit more from emotional support groups, whereas “men benefit from ‘maps’ that can tell them what is going to happen, what is needed and how to competently complete the journey.” In designing support for male spouses, this could translate into “checklists during deployments to help them cope with change,” she says.
Because males as a group prefer to deal with endgame wins vs. the discussion and sharing that females engage in, Leary suggests an e-mail group that would address the problems and challenges of male military spouses “like a business.” She says, “An online—anonymous and non–face time—chat group for men sharing remedies and best practices” would serve as a gender-friendly support tool for a male spouse.
Having been both active duty and a spouse, McDowell knows what it takes to be successful at both jobs. He says with authority, “It’s a whole lot easier getting shot at and mortared on a daily basis than to stay at home and worry about her getting shot at and mortared.”
McDowell accepts the “terms and conditions” of his wife’s deployment. He acknowledges that he knew what he was getting into when he married her. “She accepts the responsibility,” he says. “That is why my wife is my hero.”

Click here to read the rest of this post.

Have You Guys Seen This?

Several of my friends did these and showed them to me, lol, so I had to do one too! SOOO CUTE!

http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=1249563147

Click here to read the rest of this post.

A Happy Birthday to me!

I was going to reply to Tara's post, but I am so excited about my "good news" that I'm about to bust, so it's only right for me to write the whole story out so that I can share it with yet, one more person. So it's been kinda tough lately with Tuesday being my birthday and Christmas coming up, yada yada...so when I got the newsletter for the FRG Christmas Party I was excited, but not jumping for joy. I know I probably should be, but our home post is an hour and a half away from where I live (if you didn't know already, my fiance is in the Reserves) and so I don't get to make it to many functions and I don't know a single person who would be there. Today, while doing some Christmas shopping I got a call from my fiance asking if I was going to be at the Christmas party. I kinda did the whole, "yeah, I guess...I don't really know any body, but I guess I'll go," pity party partly for myself and partly for him to encourage me to come out of my hermit stage that I've been in for the past couple weeks. Encourage me he did, because he advised me that if I went, I would be able to see him via a teleconference that they are having for the families. I started crying right there in the Gap. I have not seen my fiance in what seems like forever, four months to be exact, but when you are so used to seeing him every day...well, you all understand. We do not have web cam and he has been able to email me just one picture of himself, so this was a big, BIG deal for me. To even catch a glimpse of him would be the best birthday present I could ask for.

Click here to read the rest of this post.

Lifting Spirits

Ok. We're done. We all feel better now right? (Ok, don't answer that) I KNOW this is a really rough time for so many of us and I know we need to get it out. So we did. And we should have. And I am glad we did and I hope that we feel comfortable enough here to do it again if we need to. But .......Now, we only have one choice right? Well, we have two or three choices but only one will work right? So what are we going to do? We're going to DRIVE ON!

At the risk of sounding stupid, THIS TOO SHALL PASS!

So let's lift our spirits. This made us feel good, so good, to share with a group of us that can totally relate and I don't believe in going through life only with rosey glasses because we do have to share the downs as much as the ups - but we also have to LIFT EACH OTHER UP and so let's do it!

Here - here's what I do when I am "down and out" with the Army and this life - I ask myself the "pros" vs. the "cons" - usually at that moment I have a pretty nice list of cons - but most of the time, well to this point ALL OF THE TIME the pros outweigh them I just have to REMEMBER what the PROS are!! LOL

So - here's the question - what are the pros to being where you are RIGHT NOW?

Ask yourself -
What have I learned? Why am I stronger? What have my children learned? Why are they stronger? If you can't answer that - tell us all something sweet that you appreciated or that made you smile today. Or list the benefits of your "service" to the Army - what's in it for you? Whatever you want to do - just something to lift your spirits. Most of the time if we all write them down we'll find ones we didn't think about that someone else will mention.

This will work. It has to. :)

--------------------------------
I have learned to communicate better with my spouse. I have a greater respect for myself because I did not realize how tough I really am. I think that Wrena has learned she has a great daddy despite his location and how to appreciate what she has because other children don't have all these luxuries - like a mama who stays home, a room full of toys & clothes, and wonderful friends! I have met (and worked with) some of the greatest people through my journey in military life and with AWTR. Lastly, today kissing the cheeks of my baby girl made me smile and smelling her sweet baby lotion smell made me glad I had her in my arms. :)

Your turn....

Click here to read the rest of this post.

Surrounded Yet Alone

So I thought I'd share my latest. I had a wonderful Thanksgiving with my family and my husband's. I helped my mother in law cook away that morning and we had a great time sharing and laughing together. However, by the time all the family showed up I suddenly felt completely alone. I was able to talk to my husband later that night and he asked me what I missed the most. I told him just having him present, in the same room with me. I was surrounded by family and friends but they all seemed to be paired off and while they all talked to me and I them it was like being in my own little bubble, it wasn't complete.
I was going to let Thanksgiving be my cue as to what I would do for Christmas. Well, I have decided to stay down here at Stewart, in my house, with my dogs, with my memories and pictures of us all over. I want to stay here in my world! Now, most of you probably understand this completely BUT my family on the other hand....not so much. I have caught nothing but grief since the moment I said I wasn't going to be there for their Christmas parties. Excuse me for venting a bit, but why can't I?! Why is it that all of a sudden everyone wants me around and everyone to "take care of me" and "include me" in their holiday festivities when they sure didn't seem to care any other part of the year. Don't get me wrong, my family is very supportive and loves both Daniel and I very much and I know they are just trying to help but seriously. I get nothing but grief when I say "I just want the holidays to come and go quickly, cause the quicker they come and go the quicker my husband comes home. Then the real holidays begin!" The typical response I get is, "well you can't postpone Christmas, you will just have to celebrate next year." Well why can't I? Whose going to stop me? I guess I expected too much, I guess I expected them to be different. Don't know why. I guess I expected more compassion and understanding from my own family. But then again, the soldiers and their families are at war, no one else. That's my take on it these days. If it doesn't directly affect someone's life on a daily basis then they don't care...as long as it doesn't affect their schedules and their holidays and their plans. I'm sorry I didn't mean to turn this into a venting session.
I want to know all of your thoughts on what you're doing for Christmas? Are you staying and doing your own Christmas or are you spending it with family? My mom is coming down to stay with me and giving me the best Christmas gift, taking me "after" christmas shopping :) I want Christmas to be a normal day to where I don't have to think about it....If I stay held up in my own house maybe it will pass me by without too much hoopla.
Don't get me wrong though, I'm in the holiday spirit. I sing Christmas songs all day long, watch the ABC family christmas movies every night, make Christmas cookies and presents for the family. I love this time of year, it just isn't complete this year is all. The part that makes it bright is half a world away.
I've included a picture of my kiddos. I decked them out in their holiday apparel and sent a picture to my husband. He died laughing and so did I because their expressions are priceless.



Mandie S.

Click here to read the rest of this post.

Handwritten Letters

In one year I have only gotten one single piece of mail from my husband. I saw the envelope and recognized the handwriting instantly. I couldn't even wait to open it until I got back up to my house. I stood there, next to the mailbox and tore into the envelope. It was a card he had written in for me. I remember standing there smiling as I read it and I remember the feeling I had walking back up the driveway of my house. I proudly put the card on the refrigerator and read it at least another dozen times, each time smiling thinking how sweet and thoughtful he was. He actually read a card that made him think of us, bought it, wrote me a note, addressed it, and mailed it off! I felt like the luckiest woman on Earth.

Well that feeling has long worn off because I haven't received anything else since. It seems that this day in age, email and IMs are supposed to be "good enough". Well, what if they're not? What if I really want to open my mailbox and see a letter sitting in there from him? Even if it says "I'm thinking of you. Love, Me" Is that asking too much?

And if I tell him that I would like more letters, will they mean as much when I receive them if I know he only wrote it because I complained? Anyone else missing the pre-email, pre-IM era just a little?

Click here to read the rest of this post.

Watch for your USAA Magazine!

I honestly couldn't be more proud - Check out this quarter's (Winter 2007) USAA Magazine. It comes in your mailbox free if you are a USAA member. On page 7 - FYI - Matters of the (Military) Heart - see Crooks & Henderson!

Kudos for Lynda Green for our picture - she was such a great photographer with which to work.

Double Kudos for the team at USAA! Thank you for featuring our programs but more than that, thank you for supporting military spouses and our mission!

Click here to read the rest of this post.

See Your Soldier - Illinois Families

Really cool for our IL families! Sent to me by a listener.

http://www.seeyoursoldier.uiuc.edu/\

Parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, wives, and children who had not seen their loved ones in person in months have gotten the next best thing, as more than 630 family members have participated in free, private videoconferencing sessions that allowed them to see and talk to soldiers stationed at Camp Al Asad and Camp Taji/Cooke in Iraq.
We are now accepting registration for the See Your Soldier event for January 8 and 9, 2008.

Click here to read the rest of this post.

"I want my Daddy"

Everytime Grace (our three year old) gets upset and cries nowadays and I ask her why she's crying, her response is always "I miss my Daddy". It never fails. I'd say it's honestly 9 times out of 10 that I get that response from her.

I am almost to the point of frustration with this response. I am trying to figure out if it's a copout or her being dramatic or if she is really this emotionally hurt after this long with him being gone. I've tried the "Daddy misses you too" and the "Daddy will be home soon" types of comebacks and nothing seems to work. I hesitate to even ask her why she's crying nowadays because I know I'll get that inevitable response.

It's so frustrating because there's nothing I can do about it! If she skins her knee, I can put a band aid on it and kiss it and it's all better...I can't do that when she asks for her dad!

Grace is obviously a Daddy's girl. R&R almost made things worse on this front because ever since he was home (and gave her non stop love and attention) she's been longing for that same person, and apparently I'm not it!

Is anyone else becoming frustrated with this same predicament?

Click here to read the rest of this post.

Out of empathy?

Do you ever get the feeling that people are just out of empathy?

The first deployment my family and my husband's family called me almost every day. Now, I'd be lucky to hear from them once a month unless I call. I do call my mama every day but honestly - it never seems as though anyone truly feels my pain of not having Kevin around.

When you use the military health system -- I know they have a word for what I am trying to say but I've racked my brain and can't come up with it - basically it's when they're so "over it" when it comes to hearing people complain of something that is so common in their line of work. For instance, things related to deployment - stress, weight gain, lack of sleep, depression. They ask you at every appointment if you are having any of these issues. My first thought is to say DUH! Of course I am stressed, gaining weight, not sleeping, and depressed - I have a newborn baby and my husband is deployed. When I answered their question- and I quote, "you mean anything wrong other than having a new born baby and my husband has been deployed over a year?" - they looked at me as if to say DUH right back. Maybe what they really were thinking (I'm pretty sure I'm right here) is WHO'S HUSBAND ISN'T DEPLOYED LADY??? MANY WOMEN ARE IN YOUR SAME SHOES!! But does that go to say that my feelings should not be validated because so many others are like me too? Should I not ask for help or treatment because I am right along side a growing number of military spouses? Because others have the same feelings I should just 'suck it up'? I see so many times that people are so NUMB, literally NUMB to you saying to them that you are not yourself that it's almost as if they don't even hear you!! I'm a VERY positive person. I am very energetic. I am very goal oriented. Lately, I am tired. I am frustrated. I am quick to snap at my children. I am worn out. I'm sad. I'm lonely. So what? So are 100's of other women. So I should just get over it right? WRONG!

Are we even out of empathy with ourselves? Many times we (as Army wives) just think that if someone else is doing it just fine then we should be too. The thing is that we are all usually only holding our *&%$ together long enough in the "real world" just to get home and break down again. So when you do see a wife it's probably at her prime for those few hours. Know what I mean? If I go out to an event, you do see me at my best. You certainly don't see what you'd see if you lived with me. Think about it. I'd wear makeup, a smile, and a nice outfit. You wouldn't see my giant red pimple on my cheek, my hair back in clips, drool and slobber down my left shoulder, and my pajamas....would you? So if you were comparing yourself to me - you'd think I had it all together and then you'd feel like WHY DO YOU NOT IF I CAN? I almost think we are SO HARD on ourselves that we knock ourselves back down before we even get back up.

Are we that hard on others? Do we not have time to hear someone complain about their hubby being gone or that they're lonely, depressed, or overwhelmed because we feel it too so we're numb? I hope not. I notice though that civilians (lately in my "world") have been more sympathetic to me and my family than military has been because we are all literally so "tired" we can't even think about taking on someone else's pain. That's hard.

I'm not necessarily BLAMING anyone or intending to FIX anything, just sharing some thoughts......it's just sad. We've done so many deployments and so many around us are going through the same things that our systems, our families, even ourselves are simply out of empathy.

We need to support each other. Our families need to know that we need their support. Our systems need to support us - even if we're the fifteen spouse they've seen that day that says she is overwhelmed and lonely they still should take the time to listen and extend a helping hand. Most importantly, we need to give OURSELVES a little empathy (and perhaps a BREAK)!

(and yes, here is where you insert - "Tara, please eat your own words!")

Click here to read the rest of this post.

Old School

Eighties version: Old School

Nineties version: Old Skool

Army version: Wearing your husband's rank.

If you have been a military spouse for any length of time, you've heard it said, right? We, as wives, should not wear our husband's rank. There are so many interesting ways I could take this post based on that, but here's where I'm going...

Old School: It is assumed that the (insert officer's rank here) will run the FRG.

Old School: An enlisted spouses club and an officers spouses club.

Old School: Support systems will be run purely by volunteers (namely, military spouses) and their level of responsibility is directly proportionate to their husband's rank.

New School: The person most qualified and willing will run the FRG. Maybe they will even be paid.

New School: A spouses club.

New School: Support systems will be run by paid individuals. Social groups will be run by volunteers.

Why has this come to my mind right now? Well, last weekend, my husband was promoted to (insert rank here). And when I was a young military wife, my first experience with a wife of a (insert rank here) was enough to make me wonder if I had been transported back to the movie Stepford Wives. (note: if you are too young to remember Stepford Wives, you are definitely of the Old Skool age).

Now that I'm the wife of a (insert rank here), I just know there will be expectations and preconceived notions. The problem is that I'm a New School gal and I feel like I don't know how to fit into the Old School world. I don't want to be constantly fighting the system. I've been there, and done that, and it doesn't work well. But I want to be who I am - and I want to do my best to work with other spouses to make "living the life" good for them too. And that means being Janine, not a (insert rank here)'s wife.

So, what do you think? Is the Army still Old School? Can it be New School? Will wives always first be regarded as (insert rank here)'s wife instead of Sarah Smith or Jennifer Jones? Or does the structure of the military mean that the world of the military spouse must work in the same tradition?

Click here to read the rest of this post.

Share Your Thoughts!!

Here at Loving A Soldier we welcome your feedback. In fact, we thrive on it. How do we know anyone is relating to or even reading our posts if you don't tell us?

Please join in the conversation by clicking on "comments" link under each blog entry. All comments are moderated. We love it if you register so we know who is commenting. Be sure to check back often because sometimes we even write back!

Have a favorite LAS author? You can now read posts BY AUTHOR by clicking on their name under "View Posts By Author" on our left navigational menu.

Happy "journeying"......Thank you!

Click here to read the rest of this post.

AWTR Listener & Family on CBS Evening News

AWTR listener Christina Moorhead and her family will be featured on the CBS Evening News tomorrow night at 6pm. Christina and her family were one of the wonderful volunteers from AWTR that offered up their "homecoming" for the world to see. We're so proud to have a wonderful story across the airwaves!

Thanks Christina!

Click here to read the rest of this post.

Simply for a good belly chuckle!

Click here to read the rest of this post.

Happy Hanukkah!

Hanukkah began Tuesday Dec 4th. The Jewish Festival of Lights is an eight-day commemoration of rededication of the Temple by the Maccabees after their victory over the Syrians. Because it usually falls in December, Hanukkah has become increasingly compared to Christmas in recent years, even though the two holy days are vastly different within their religions. Still, some Jewish families have started their own family traditions that become part of the family’s observance of Hanukkah, just as Christian families have done with Christmas.

Does your family celebrate Hanukkah? If so, what are your traditions?

Click here to read the rest of this post.

Thank Goodness

Thank goodneess for friends (like Tara) who validate the emotional dumping I do now and then! When I wrote the post "Running on Empty" it was the end of the day and I was typing how I was feeling at that exact moment. Then I woke up this morning realizing I had pretty much COMPLAINED about something that everyone else is feeling too, but they're "sucking it up" so to speak. Why can't I just shut my mouth and not complain?

I suppose that would sort of defeat this whole forum, though. We're supposed to talk about the aspects of being an Army wife...the good, the bad, and the ugly. So I was so happy to find when I checked the comments that two of you validated how I felt and that made me feel better. I mean, SOMEONE has to say what we're all feeling, right? I guess that one was me.

So here's the next thing for you....

Am I the only one who's husband does not always reply to emails right away? Boy that's frustrating when you go to the computer in the morning because you sent him an email last night and you just know there's one sitting in your inbox from him. Only to find that everyone else on Earth has emailed you...but not your hubby. Booo!!! At least this doesn't happen all the time or I'd be writing a whole page about it! Ha ha ha!! I just want to reach through the computer and say "Hey! You! Just hit "reply" and type a few words, will ya? It won't throw off your schedule for the whole day!!!!!" Oh well.

Click here to read the rest of this post.

eBay an Army wife?

So I was in superhero post mode tonight thinking about all the things I do around here, with my business etc. etc. I FINALLY made time to go online tonight and list my Juniper Fiesta that had survived the "cabinet catastrophe". I really couldn't afford to replace it all because it's retired and so I am going with the new EVERGREEN color and eBaying what I have left of JUNIPER to some lucky gal who wants to complete her collection! While on eBay posting my listing I started to think about this GREAT IDEA. Why couldn't I eBay myself? I mean really? They have listings up there for COUPONS for God's sake! Seriously - charging a .41 cent stamp, and people bidding 5.00 and more for a 10% off coupon to their favorite store. I guess if they saved 200.00 and it only cost them 5.00 it's worth it huh? Well, why not - why couldn't I eBay myself? I wonder if there is a rule against eBaying out your "services" as a talk radio host, military life consultant/writer? You can eBay a business....

If I were to eBay an Army wife (like myself) what would I type in to describe her? No one would believe the things they were bidding on were real because no one in her right mind would do all the things we do for anything less than ........MILLIONS!

It's a crazy idea - but what if it was a great fundraiser thought? What if we put something up for bid signed by all of us, or made by all of us, or something to raise money for our network?

I don't know...sometimes I just have very random thoughts and unfortunately this week you are really having to listen to them! ha ha ha ha

Still, I think we should work on her description. Seriously.

If you were writing it what would you include?

Manages household duties (in the absense of any other human being over the age of 18) to include multiple specimens under the age of 18, four legged units, neighbors, friends, and even family (including mother in laws??). Manages finances. Worries enough for the entire world - just leave your worries with her. Selfless spirit - if you ask her to do something and look at her with puppy eyes she will pretty much cave in about 3 minutes and do anything for you for nothing more than a smile. Simultaneously takes on more than any one normal human should be able to accomplish in 52 weeks and accomplishes it in 7 days. Daily challenges her children's memories of their missing daddy by drilling them on his location, age, weight, height, and favorite things to do.

There is a ton more....please....share your ideas for our listing. LOL!

Click here to read the rest of this post.

I am a super hero!

Did you know I was a superhero? Well I didn't really either but tonight I deemed myself - MOM SUPERHERO! My super hero title you ask? I am the one armed master. Yep, the one armed master. I bet a few of you can relate. I was cracking up at myself. Sometimes that is a side effect of being the one armed master. You do some pretty funny stuff.

Take a normal day for instance. I woke up this morning and headed to the nursery. I picked up my daughter. With one hand I made a bottle, got breakfast for my six year old, let the dogs out to go potty, made my bed, fed the baby (can you picture me one hand feeding or better yet the should-be-patented chin balancing bottle act?), brushed my teeth, packed a lunch, and drove Wrena to school. OH WAIT -I did get to use two hands for that! LOL! I arrived back at home and during the day I was able to accomplish tasks one handedly that most would not be able to complete with two. In a single day I went to the doctor's office, fed the baby, picked up a prescription, shopped at the PX, visited the vet, grocery shopped at Kroger, cleaned the house, made dinner, made bottles, typed a blog comment, replied to several emails, started bathwater, fed the dog, and even took a picture. WOW that IS amazing. I didn't even realize I did all of that until I typed it all out.

Ok, you know why I'm laughing. I'm laughing because somehow I manage to still accomplish tasks while holding the baby in my left hand and doing things with my right. MOMS ARE AMAZING!!!!! Look at all that we can do with only one hand/arm ......

Muwahhhhaaahhhahhhhh the one armed master strikes again! I hope I made you smile. But now, I think the one armed master is deliriously tired, especially her right side! LOL!

Click here to read the rest of this post.

Running on empty

We are now 11 months into a 15 month deployment. Only 4 months left to go, right? Well, the word "only" is a relative term in this case. 4 months may as well be another year away it seems so long. Now, I realize I shouldn't complain-and I'm not really-because there are some of you who are 1 month in with 14 left to go, and I'm glad I started mine sooner.

HOWEVER, I feel....how do I say this?....done. I feel done. I'm done raising two girls alone, I'm done going to bed alone, I'm done making all the decisions, I'm done with this deployment. I swear I must have some internal timer that just starts ticking really loud after 11 months. By this time last deployment we only had 21 days until Paul came home. Here I am this time around and we still have 4 whole months to go. At this point I don't see how I'll ever make it through.

I get to a point each day where I just cut myself off emotionally. To my family, my friends, and my children. I get so drained by the day-to-day demands and the fact that the light at the end of this deployment tunnel still seems so unreachable. Then I start to feel guilty for not just putting on a happy face for my 3 year old. I know she can tell I'm getting grumpy and that my patience is wearing scarily thin. I start to nit pick at everything she does wrong or too slow. Then I catch myself doing it and by the time I try to correct myself I'm just to darn grumpy to bother! And then I feel guilty for that too...

I just don't remember getting this way during the last deployment (12 months in 2005). How do I fill up the tank so to speak? I feel like I'm running on empty...

Click here to read the rest of this post.

Army "husbands"

I was just going to reply to Sarah's post but I thought my input might warrant it's own post instead of just replying....

MY THOUGHTS ON YOUR DILEMMA...

Sarah, you made some SERIOUSLY good points. I would say to you that as long as you know you are "doing the right thing" and he is "doing the right thing" then the two of you have nothing to worry about. To be on the "safe" side I'd do a few things. I'd make sure that you each know each other's spouses and that both of your spouses know you two are friends. That is the only worry I would have because I don't know your hubby, his wife, or the trust level and strengths of the marriages. Barring that issue is, well, not an issue.....I would make sure that just personal talks were not all you were involving this spouse in - ask him to participate in all the things you would ask your "Army wife" friends to participate in - you know all those activities that you are involved with. Sounds like you have friends and children's activities in common so build on those that love, trust, and respect you and they'll KNOW that you are in it for a friendship/support and not for an affair. Now, I will be the first to tell you that people get the wrong idea no matter WHAT you do but all you can do is KNOW that you are doing the right thing and stand with confidence. It's when you are defensive or not confident in your choice of the friendship people start to stir. Know what I mean?

PERSONAL STORIES/EXPERIENCES...

Year before last during Kevin's first deployment to Iraq my neighbor, who happens to be a male spouse of a female CPT who was deployed, and his son and Wrena and I stuck VERY close. We made our own little "makeshift" family. I AM SURE that there was alot to be said about us but like I said above - everyone stayed in their lanes and we functioned as a pretty good little military spouse family. LOL! I cooked, picked up the kids, watched them when he worked late, and he mowed my lawn and fixed the sink and three thousand other things I asked him to do around here! LOL! We're still very good friends (his wife and I too) and they made it through the deployment. I know that she had a great attitude towards our friendship, knowing me beforehand, when she left she said to me "just take care of my boys for me". I couldn't let her down. I am sure there were times Kevin heard more about him and his kid than he did me a and Wrena missing him and wishing he were home. I am sure there were times that Kevin wanted to scream because I had someone doing "his job". Thankfully, and this is where I say be sure to know where you stand to keep the "drama" out of it, both of our spouses were very good at knowing that each of us was truly trying to cling to another spouse and make it through this deployment by helping each other share the load and the burden of being left behind. Yes, it did build a strong bond between us as friends, but I would think that anyone -- female or male -- put together through a stressful and sometimes grueling experience would become closer no matter what.

My very best friends, and Kevin's too, are Tina and Luke (b/c you've heard me talk about them before). They were a dual military couple. Now, Luke has gotten out of the Army to go to school and Tina is still in. In January Tina deploys. Our friendship is nothing short of amazing. Tina and Kevin are truly more alike and Luke and I are definitely more alike. Tina and Kevin can sit and have a three hour conversation all calm in their corner and go to bed at 9pm. Luke and I can talk until we're blue in the face - most of the time over a drink and screaming over each other's sentences - but we love each other anyway. Kevin and Luke are best friends and have so much in common. They love to go hunting, to the range, make beer ...all those "guy" things. Tina and I are great friends too - we LOVE to SHOP, craft, and all sorts of fun "girl" things. All FOUR of us LOVE to ride our motorcycles and hang out together. We never have a dull moment. We've spent time together from laughing to crying - they even came down to be in the room with me when I delivered Chloe this past July during deployment. No one will EVER understand our friendship. Sometimes I wonder if we even do. We joke that we are each other's "back up" if anything happens to any of us. Their family (Tina's two sons) is my family and ours (Wrena and Chloe) is theirs. We hang up the phone and say "I love you", because we do. I expect no matter where they move or we move we will always be very close.

So where am I taking you down this journey? Well, a few places.... (see below AND Business!!)

This new deployment of Tina's has opened up a dialogue between Luke and I that we have never been used to having before. I can totally relate and understand things that he is going through right now during "pre-deployment" phase that he has never gone through b/c he has always been "on the other side". He's a guy though right? I can't be his friend right? Because Tina is leaving and Kevin is deployed......you know what I say to those that question our friendship? (not that I really know anyone who does but I am sure they exist!!) WHO CARES???!!! I know that I love my husband with every ounce of my heart and soul and I know I AM doing the right thing by supporting Luke as he enters "Army husband" world. It's hard....and he needs to have some connections. I also know that Luke loves Tina and would give anything for her to be home with him. I know that this is a very hard time for him but I trust us both to be able to have a meaningful relationship despite our anatomy! (ha!) Besides if you ask him I get him on the phone and "make him talk like a woman". LOL! He'll ask me how I do certain things or deal with certain situations and helping him actually somehow helps me too! It's therapy baby!!

One night during one of our neighborhood get togethers both of these gentlemen (and I use that loosely! ha ha ha) expressed a concern EXACTLY like what you posted. They didn't have anyone to turn to. Things WERE different for them because there are so few male spouses. Resources are automatically catered to women because they are the majority of the ones "left behind" and frankly they said, it's lonely out there.

BUSINESS...

As for Army "husbands" vs. Army "wives" the reason that we as a website cater to AW is b/c there really isn't a market out there for podcasting and resources for AH b/c they are only 6% of the spouse populations and MOST of that 6% is dual military.

Ironically, you posted this post and just today Luke and I were booking the date for him to appear on our show. He wants to come on and say a few things to us as spouses. He's been on the single soldier side, the married and dual military side, and now ...he faces it as a spouse of a servicemember. He said to me the other day - he didn't think he'd ever say this - but that we have the hardest job. THIS is the hardest thing he's ever done in relation to the military. So, he's booked for Feb and we'll all get to meet him. I asked him to come on and blog and be our "resident" male - to "represent" LOL - but also to help us see the other side and offer some "perspective" to AWTR and our blog. I haven't convinced him so far but maybe seeing your post, this post, and some of your replies will. (hint, hint)

I hope I helped a bit Sarah - but as my hubby always says just "do the right thing" and you can't go wrong! Good luck and KUDOS for helping out a fellow spouse!!

Click here to read the rest of this post.

It's Possible To Have Male Friends!......Right?

As Army Wives, unfortunately, we have a lot of time alone (and by that I obviously don't mean the nice relaxing in hot bubble bath kind, lol). We use the term "Army Wife" frequently because, as we know, the majority of Army spouses are female. But what about the men? What about those male spouses who rarely get any attention? What the heck am I talking about, you wonder? Well here you go:
We live at Fort Stewart on post, and I am the community mayor for our housing village. So while every single solitary person who lives in our housing village might not know who I am, the people on my street do (because I have a lovely brown sign in my front yard that says I'm the mayor, lol). So while at a soccer evaluation for my son, a man that I recognized from my street came over to me and asked if I was the mayor. I said yes and we had a conversation about the neighborhood and some concerns of his and so on. And he told me that he's a spouse. So we spoke several times afterward, as did he speak with my husband, because our kids ended up on the same soccer team. It was OK to talk with him while my husband was here, but when he deployed, somehow having a conversation with this man, who had become my friend, became wrong. And why is that? Why is it that no one gave a second look to my having a conversation with this man anywhere as long as my husband was present, but the minute he's not right there in between, I'm getting stares from every angle? And was it all in my head? If so, then WHY!?!? Why is there such a stigma on having a male friend if you're a female? I mean, come on, I get the whole "affair" scenario. But for goodness sake, why does no one give the benefit of the the doubt?
Think about it: here is a man, with a son and a daughter, both under 10. The mother is deployed. It's their first deployment. So when the daughter is screaming for her mother, how does a dad comfort her? Or if she has questions that she's only comfortable asking a female? Then what is he supposed to do? And he's not allowed to ask another woman for any sort of advice, because according to the court of public opinion, he's trying to start an affair. And if the other woman actually SPEAKS with him, well then she's just another of those cheating wives.
So as Army Wives, we have a sisterhood, but Army Husband's are left out of that, and if you really think about it, they don't have the same camaraderie that Army Wives do. Therefore, they end up not having a support system during deployments.
And another bit of food for thought: On the show, Army Wives, they have Roland their buddy yes? But what did the show do? It went and had his character cheat!! That's not fair!
So, I guess my question is, why can't Army Wives and Army Husbands be friends without the ridiculous rumors, whispers, stares, reactions, accusations, etc? Give me your opinions, please, because I'd really like them :)

Click here to read the rest of this post.

All Coming Together

PHEW! I can relate to the busy part. At our house we have a week of running nonstop and then a week of nothing much. For example, last week was a normal week, now this week we have two holiday performances, two events for cub scouts, Ted has a couple of work functions also. Now next week goes back to being normal followed by another crazy week. I'm not sure why it falls like that but for some reason it does more times than not at our house.

I am currently readin the Yada Yada prayer group books. For those of you that haven't read them I encourage you to. They are a fast reading book. I have just started book 3 and I believe there are 7 books in the series.

I'm trying to take in the holidays this year. With Ted having this new job and us not really knowing how the deployments will work and how often they will be I am trying to enjoy every minute of this process. Although at some points it's hard cause the 4 kids are about to drive me batty.

I really feel like God is pulling things together for us lately. Did you ever have that? Where you just sit back and go OMG this is really working out? I'm having moments like that lately.

I was thinking about Tara's holiday tradition comments and I have to say that we don't really have any. I guess we do but it's nothing special. I have learned after moving around so much that I love to be home with my family on Christmas morning. I don't want to go any where. We open presents, play with the kids and just hang out all day. Lot's of times we just stay in our PJ's all day. I love that.

Try to stay in the moment as the Holidays draw near. It's so easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of it that we miss it. I've done it many times. I'm trying to enjoy the process, even the frustrated shopping process.

Click here to read the rest of this post.

Holiday Busy-ness!

Wow, I didn't realize how long it had been since I'd blogged on here! I've been so busy that it's just nuts! Things all seem to happen at once don't they? I mean, when I'm already feeling overwhelmed by something (like, say, a first deployment?) then 10 more things just HAVE to follow it.
It seems like ALL the AFTB levels of training have come up at once (because of necessary rescheduling) and now here I've had to do that, and then of course the holidays (where for Thanksgiving I had friends over here and for Christmas the kids and I will be heading home to Texas), and that doesn't even include the holiday shopping! And then there are just the basic days where I have no time for anything that isn't my absolutely required life, lol. And then, finally, the most wonderful of the busy-inducing life, having my husband communicate with me at all hours and rediscovering a friend that I thought I had lost. Those things really take up time! But it's good, because (as short as this may seem to some) I'm already down with my first month of deployment and time hasn't started standing still yet.
Anyway, I have another blog I'm going to post later, but for now, I just wanted to let you know I was alive and kicking! And I'll do my best to be more active on here, although I can't make promises for now with the holidays in full swing!! I hope you're all doing fantastically well :)

Click here to read the rest of this post.

Some Blog Talk Radio Help & a Favor too!

Rate Our Show! Please give us a rating - start with this week's show and comment every week! Visit http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AWTR/2007/12/04/AWTR-Show-138-Week-of-December-3-2007 and simply rate, comment, and send it! We appreciate your honest, constructive, and valuable feedback!

How do you sign in as a listener for LIVE CHAT on Monday nights?

Before you go visit our chat room, show, or anything go straight to bare bones http://www.blogtalkradio.com/ not www.blogtalkradio.com/awtr and at the top it says USERNAME PASSWORD and there are boxes - beside the boxes it says "or register", click on "or register". Fill out the form, make sure you check your junk mail folder for the confirmation email...and viola! You've registered with BTR. Now, go play with your profile etc. and make sure your name and all of your info is updated and you can even add a picture.

On Monday night at 8pm EST go to www.blogtalkradio.com/awtr and login - then go to the CHAT AVAILABLE flashing green box and click on it to join in our chat!

Good luck!

Click here to read the rest of this post.

Share your traditions!

Our talk next week on the Dec 10th show is about military family holiday traditions. We thought it would be fun to get everyone together to share their stories about what they do around the holidays.

Traditionally, (ha) we have our Loving A Soldier bloggers participate in the show. We do have a few of them calling in, however, we would like to have ONE LUCKY ARMY WIFE call in and share with us that is not one of our bloggers. Are you a reader of our blog? Do you leave us comments and participate in discussions? Would you like to share your story on the air? If so, email me tara (@) ArmyWifeTalkRadio.com and let me know you're interested. I'll pick one person to come on and share with us as a guest.

Of course, anyone who wants to call in that night as a "caller" is welcome to call and share. (there might be prizes involved too - hint hint - we'll call them early Christmas presents) Heck, why not share here too? Let us know what you do for the holidays....what are the traditions around your house/family?

Click here to read the rest of this post.

What would you change?

This week in an internet interview on Moms Talk Radio, blogger Annette Yen from QuietMom asked me....

If you could change anything in your life what would it be and why?

I found this to be a very simple, yet profound question that I really had to think on. I thought I'd ask all of you too. I wanted to hear what you'd say.

If you could change anything in your life what would it be and why?

Here is what I told Annette....

If I could change anything in my life RIGHT NOW - it would be to have my
husband home. I love him serving in our military, and being a military
family but I do not like us being at war. That is not to say I agree or
disagree - that is for another topic - but I would like him to be home.

I wish my grandma and grandpa were still with us. I know now I have a lot
more to learn from them and their experiences and see more value in the
stories and things they used to share with us. I miss them.

Other than that? Can you make me 160 lbs or even just taller would work? Or
put 27 hours in the day?

Click here to read the rest of this post.

USAA offers advice for military families

The new Financial Readiness Digest features answers to real financial questions from military members and their families. The answers, which are provided by June Walbert, a Certified Financial PlannerTM with USAA Financial Planning Services and Lt. Col. in the U.S. Army Reserve, are also featured in her “Ask June” column on military.com.

Getting Off the Investing Starting Line

Like losing weight or going to the gym, once you decide to invest, you’ll find the time. Remember these five easy steps from USAA:

Speak the language. The more you learn about the different types of investments, the less fear you’ll have about getting started.
Know what you’re working toward. Your goals will help you pick the right asset mix for you — among stocks, bonds, and cash. It makes a difference whether you’re saving money for retirement or your first home.
Max out your savings plan. Automatically investing through your 401(k), 403(b), or TSP retirement plan is the fastest and easiest way to start investing. Take full advantage of these tax-deferred investments.
Stay diversified. Asset allocation and index funds are great places to keep the proper balance between stocks and bonds as you near retirement.
Go easy on individual stocks. Stocks may sound sexy, but limit the number you own unless you have plenty of time to research and monitor your holdings on a regular basis.

Help for Spouses of Deployed Servicemembers
Q: At times, we military spouses are at a loss. Our soldiers are deployed more often and for much longer periods of time. We can no longer raise our children and keep on top of our bills with just our soldier's income. Those of us who have both children and a job spend so much on childcare that we would be better off staying at home. It is extremely hard to keep a job when we are the only ones who can take the kids to the doctor, school, etc. Most employers understand at first, but their patience often wears out quickly.

Do you know of a legal and honest home-based job that is available so I can be at home with my children? I am not looking for a "get rich quick" type job, but I would like to be able to at least help with the bills and occasionally take my children out to eat. There are so many scams out there; I'd love to get your opinion on any good opportunities.

The hardest part of our lives is being without the love of our life, so it would be a win-win situation if we could make money from home to help our deployed spouses. During my husband's second deployment, I was the FRG (Family Readiness Group) Leader and spent most of my time helping other families. Compared to his first deployment, the time seemed to go so much faster. Even though I wasn't getting paid, I was doing something that made a difference in my and other families lives. Thank you for listening and any advice you offer will help not only me but countless other's lives.

Proud wife of an Army Sgt. and proud mother of a son who is a Private First Class and will be serving in Iraq at the same time as his father.
- Lori, Ft. Hood, TX

A: Thank you so very much for all that you have done and will continue to do! A husband and a son serving overseas...it is hard for me to even imagine the strength and courage it takes you and so many others like you just to keep going during these difficult times. You're a real trooper! It's going to require creativity and a dose of patience, but you can figure out a way to add to the family's bottom line!

I checked in with our friends Tara Crooks and Star Hendersen at fieldproblems.com and armywifetalkradio.com. They said working from home requires a lot of discipline and perseverance. And, that it might take longer than you think to really get going. Please see their full article and several helpful links at http://www.fieldproblems.com/fparchives.shtml.

There are no perfect answers, but here are some thoughts:

Daycare. With so many spouses asking the same question, maybe there is an opportunity to provide the same help you need to others. You would be able to stay home with your kids while making a little money and offering your kindred spirits a cheaper price than they can get down the street.
Share the burden. Would it be possible to get together with several of your friends who are in a similar situation and essentially trade babysitting service with each other? Consider tapping into your Family Readiness Group. This might provide a reliable schedule and allow all parties to gain employment outside the home to earn a little extra moolah.
Ask for help. Maybe this is the perfect time to reach out to your immediate and extended family. Would it be possible for them to "rotate" to your house to help out with the kids? In many cases, family can provide the level of trust and caring you need?and if you build a calendar, they can each offer a little time which will add up to a lot of relief for you, and, at the right price!
Work from home. An increasing number of employers offer the flexibility of working from home. In many cases, this is an option to employees that have already proven themselves as reliable and valuable.
My sister is a great example of making this work. She's a stay-at-home mom, and very involved in everything that's kids (Boy and Girl Scouts, PTA, Teacher Appreciation Day, all sorts of sports, etc.). Like you, she wanted to come up with a plan to add to the family's coffers. After a couple of experiments, she landed on something that works for her. She attends trade shows, fairs, dog shows, and conventions peddling super comfy footwear. She has a blast, takes her kids with her when possible and makes a decent income.

Again, I wish you the very best. Talk to your friends and family, together you may be able to do a lot more than you can on your own! Good luck.

Survivor's Benefit Plan vs. Life Insurance
Q: I am retiring from active duty Army in October of 2007. Do you recommend the Survivor's Benefit Plan (SBP) for my spouse? I have to decide between SBP, term and universal life insurance within the next month. I have to decide on SBP, term or universal life insurance within the next month.
- Patrick, Newport News, VA

A: Congratulations on your upcoming retirement and thanks for your many years of service! Retirement is quite a milestone and with it comes a big decision with respect to how you protect your spouse and your family's lifestyle—should you participate in the Survivor Benefit Plan (SBP)? First, let me say that I think SBP is the deal of the century and that most service members should choose the maximum SBP coverage. The protection that SBP provides is difficult and expensive to duplicate through life insurance coverage and I, personally, think protection should be your main focus!

SBP typically protects your spouse (or children and others with financial interest) by continuing a portion of your military retirement should you pass away. You can choose SBP coverage of up to 55% of your full military retirement pay. The annual SBP cost of living adjustments makes the benefit hard to duplicate with life insurance. While a term life insurance policy might initially cost less than SBP, it is likely that the term policy would lapse (or cost substantially more!) by the time your loved ones actually needed it. Because of a term policy?s expiration date, you really can not effectively replace SBP with term insurance.

On the other hand, a permanent policy (universal or whole life) can do the trick, provided you continue to make the payments needed to keep the policy in force. [Suggestion only. Big concern with these products is that they are expensive and it is up to the member to ensure he can continue to make the required premium payments — often much more difficult than the member expects it to be. Remember "buy term and invest the difference"? Very few people actually invested the difference and don't have the savings they could have had with a permanent policy. Here, continuing to pay the high premiums equates to that "invest the difference" requirement — how many can actually follow through with it?] It will typically cost substantially more than the SBP coverage it's meant to replace. To give you a rough idea, an O-5 with 22 years of service would need over $600,000 of whole life insurance to provide approximately the same protection as SBP.

Here are some other important SBP features:

The 6.5% premium is deducted from your retirement check on a pre-tax basis
Premiums are discontinued after 30 years of payment and attainment of age 70 (effective October 2008)
Cost of SBP is shared between the service member and the government—again, making it difficult to duplicate
I almost always recommend SBP, but there are some situations when a closer look is advised before electing the coverage. For example, if you are much younger than your spouse and therefore anticipate outliving them, SBP may not be for you. If your spouse has a pension of their own or your spouse has a serious medical condition that will likely negatively impact their life expectancy, SBP may not be needed. However in most circumstances the SBP decision is an easy one—go for it!

Devote the New Year to Digging Out of Debt
By Joseph Montanaro, USAA Financial Planning Services

First come the holiday parties with fancy foods and “secret Santa” games. Then there are the big-ticket gifts under the tree with stocking stuffers to boot. And just when you think the holiday spending spree is over, it’s time to ring in the New Year with a stylish night on the town. Come January, your credit cards have had all the abuse they can take.

Racking up a small mountain of debt during the holiday season may be an annual tradition for many consumers, but it’s problematic nonetheless. Overspending can cost you dearly in the form of high interest charges, and it can derail important financial goals like saving for retirement.

The damage may be done for this year, but here are several ideas to help you ditch your debt quickly and avoid the credit card crunch next December.
Tighten the reins

If you were a little too generous for your budget last month, it’s time for a reality check. Start tracking your expenses – line by line – to determine exactly where your money’s going each month. You may be surprised by how much you’re really spending on lunches or spontaneous trips to the mall, and chances are you’ll find some places to cut back. The more you save, the more money you can put toward paying off those credit card bills.

Set realistic goals

The most common New Year’s resolution is simply to “lose weight,” but most people never make progress because they don’t aim for a specific target. Dropping debt is similar to shedding pounds. You’re more likely to get results if you vow to reduce your debt load by a certain dollar amount within a specific time frame. For example, you might shoot to pay off $500 by the end of February. Even if you still have $1,000 left to go, hitting that first goal will give you the confidence you need to stay on track.

Plan strategically

If you have more than one credit card, focus your biggest payments on the card with the highest interest rate. This will minimize the amount of money you’re wasting on interest charges. Typically, credit cards from department stores have the highest rates.

A different strategy would be to pay off the card with the smallest balance first, which would allow you to see progress quickly and give you one fewer bill to pay each month. Either way, the important point is to make a plan and stick to it.

Card-hop with care

As another way to minimize interest charges, you might look into transferring your balance to a new card with a lower annual percentage rate. It can make sense under the right circumstances, but be warned – a credit card offer that sounds too good to be true probably is. Many cards offer extremely low rates for an introductory period, but make it up through extraneous fees and a sky-high rate after several months. Read the fine print carefully to make sure you’re getting a good deal.

Another danger of card-hopping too frequently is damaging your credit score. Every move you make is recorded on your credit report, and lenders tend to see frequent balance transfers as a sign of high risk. Too much skipping around could hurt your ability to qualify for loans and low interest rates.

Start saving for next time

Once you’ve successfully banished that monstrous debt, make sure it stays away for good. As soon as possible, establish a “holiday fund” and begin stashing away a small amount from each paycheck. Many banks and credit unions offer interest-bearing “Christmas Club” accounts specifically for this purpose. But stuffing $10 a week into a shoebox can work just as well if you have the discipline not to touch it. [A shoebox is not interest-bearing so it would not “work just as well.” Please clarify or delete.]

When gift-buying season rolls around, start with a firm budget and a detailed shopping list. If Santa can stick to his list, so can you! Start early to give yourself plenty of time for comparison shopping. You may be able to find better deals online if you have a few weeks to spare for shipping. Don’t exceed your budget and if it’s not on your list, don’t buy it—even if it’s on sale. Ideally, you should be able to make most of your purchases with the cash you saved throughout the year.

And spreading holiday cheer will be all the more enjoyable when you know you won’t be paying for it later.

Joseph "J.J." Montanaro is a CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNERTM practitioner with USAA Financial Planning Services, one of the USAA family of companies. Montanaro served in the U.S. Army for six years on active duty. He is currently a Lieutenant Colonel in the U.S. Army Reserve.

Certified Financial Planner Board of Standards, Inc. owns the certification marks CFP® and CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER™ in the United States, which it awards to individuals who successfully complete CFP Board's initial and ongoing certification requirements.

The Financial Readiness Digest is provided by USAA, a diversified financial services company serving the military community and their families.

Click here to read the rest of this post.

Love My Camosock

I just got a camosock, it is awesome!! I cannot say enough about it. If you have a soldier down range, this is the perfect present. If you know someone in the military, the camosock is it. www.camosock.com.

I think I am going to start a tradition and hang it along side our stockings every year in honor of deployed soldiers away from home.

I love it!!

Click here to read the rest of this post.

Our Book Club Selection for December

When I was thinking of which book to pick for the book club this month, I wanted a book that was an easy read but would also touch our hearts. I think Chicken Soup for the Military Wife's Soul fits the bill perfectly. Since it is made up of several short stories, it is perfectly suited for reading just a bit when you only have a little down time. With the holiday season in full swing...I thought this collection of stories by military wives who have been just about everywhere and have done just about everything would be a welcome and comforting read. It seems to be a perfectly balanced book which offers stories that get you misty eyed right along side with stories that will make you laugh out loud. My goal is to read sections 1, 2, and 3 this week.....I was struck that the titles of those 3 sections alone pretty much sums up our lives: Red White and Blue, I Miss You and Raising Military Brats. OK, well at least they pretty much sum up my life right now.

I know there was a question earlier concerning if you need to do anything to join our book club. All you need to do is get a copy of the book and join us here on the blog and in the forum where we will begin talking about what we are reading. I would love for as many of us as possible to read and join the discussions. I am really looking forward to hearing everyone's thoughts.

Oh and before I go....I want to say Hi to my friend Sarah in Michigan. Her soldier came home this past week. I am so happy for you.....not much longer now. ;-)

Click here to read the rest of this post.

Army Wife Sisters

I am embracing my Army wife life. I am also tackling making friends as if it were my job. I accosted a woman in my neighborhood the other day. I have tried to wave and say hello and she has not really seemed enthusiastic to meet me. Well in the past I probably would have stopped trying and left her alone, well not anymore. She got out of her car the other day and I crossed the street and introduced myself very loudly. I used to be that woman. I used to meet other women who would forced me out of my shell to be their friend. I used to think that I was just to shy and that I would never be outgoing. What I have since discovered is that while making new friends is still a little out of my comfort zone, it is like any new skill you have to work on and practice. I have also discovered that I need my fellow Army Wives. The other day I was having a horrendous week and I was out talking to some of the ladies in my neighborhood. Despite my best efforts not to, I started to cry. In 5 seconds I had 5 ladies patting my back telling me that it would be okay. This is Army Life, this is what we need to sustain our Army Wife Life. Please don't shut yourselves in the house. Go out and find other Army Wives. If you can't get out, go to the message boards on Cinc house or come to the blog. I have heard several times in the last couple of months someone say that they just don't do the Army Wife thing, that Army Wives are snobs. I am tired of hearing that, what a cop out. There are plenty of snobs every where, but don't write someone off until you have met them. We can get through this life much easier if we have each other. I have met the most amazing women through the Army. Are some of them snobs? Of course, but it was worth dealing with them to know all the rest.

I am an Army Wife, I am proud to be one. I am so grateful to have my fellow Army Wives by my side. Thank you.
.

Click here to read the rest of this post.

One of those moods...

I know I read somewhere that there are different phases to deployment and I think I'm in one of those phases. The first four months were ok for me because it was all so new that I think I was in a shock of sorts. I'm calling the first four months "shock phase". Now the fifth month has arrived and I am calling this phase "extreme phase". Everything is extreme for me. I don't get a little lonely, I get extremely lonely. If I get angry, I'm extremely angry. But then there are times when I'm extremely happy and giddy and laugh for no reason. Maybe it's the holiday's, maybe I'm just nuts...but I know it's a different feeling from the first four months. This is our first deployment and only our second year since my soldier enlisted, so I'm not for sure how I'm supposed to feel, all I know is I'm in one of those moods.

Click here to read the rest of this post.

Lower airfares for you who deserve it!

I promised I would tell you about some airline discounts. You may already know, but if not, maybe you can save some money on your holiday trips! The information I got is from blue star mothers website, so if need more info, try them. I was not aware that there was a Congressional resolution about airfare prices for military (all branches) personnel and their families (wives and children, alas, not moms) . It is H.R. 2115. To get these fares you first search the internet for the lowest ticketed 7 day, 14 day or 21 day fare before contacting a ticket agent. Military fares are not available on the internet, but you will have the information to quote the lowest price. Call the airlines and ask if the military fares are equal or lower than the fares a civilian can book. Even if you have only 3 days prior to your leave and the lowest airfare is a 21 day advance booking ticket, the airline should give you the lower price to be in compliance with H.R. 2115. This is not always known by airline ticket agents and you may need to ask to talk to a supervisor and ask them to comply with H.R 2115. The blue star moms state that Southwest Airlines is one of the best in this regard, as is United who has a special phone number 1-800-864-8331 for military ( identify yourself as eligible for military fares). Another help is; airfare@bluestarmoms.org
I hope this works well and saves you all some money, happy flying!

Click here to read the rest of this post.

Pick Your Spouse's New Boss

How many of you are registered to vote?

It's not a simple process for military spouses. We move. A lot. We must re-register. A lot. Then there's the question of where to register. Home of record. Current residence. What is allowed? What isn't allowed? Do I have to worry about being registered in multiple states?

Here's a link that gives more information. But even after reading it, I'm still confused.

But what if we thought about it this way... we are voting on who will decide what happens with our husbands. This person will direct our nation. This person will direct our soldiers.

Do you feel like you don't have a say? Well, you do. And it starts with voting.

~ There are 1.1 million active duty and reserve spouses.

~ There are over 20 million former military spouses.

Don't wait until next year to start thinking about registering because it will become one of those things that just doesn't get done. Think about it now. And think about who you want to be your husband's next Commander-in-Chief. Watch a debate. Read some articles. Get informed.

And be sure to vote!

Click here to read the rest of this post.