Mom, I'm Marrying a Soldier

Most people have only a vague idea of what marrying a soldier really means. "Living the Life" is usually pictured as a dreamy existence where the love of your life arrives home looking handsome in his uniform, and, well, you know the rest.

I remember when I was engaged to my husband. He was in Alaska at Mountain Warfare School, and I was living with my parents while working in New York. I did a lot of crying and gnashing of teeth over being separated and unfairness of it all. One day, my mother had enough.

"He's in the Army," she said. "It's going to be this way for the rest of your life together."

"I know, but I love him."

"Yeah, but he's in the Army. And you need to decide now if you can handle it."

Of course, we did get married, but it took awhile for my mother's words to really stick. He was in the Army when I met him and when I married him, and when I moved across the country to be together. But did I accept how it was going to be? No, not right away. I fought IT tooth and nail. The Army became this big, green monster that just didn't get that it was taking way too much of my husband's time.

Eventually, I realized: I was either going to accept he was in the Army, or I was going to continue to fight against our situation. I admit, it took some time, but eventually I figured out we would be much happier if I tried to make it work. Don't get me wrong, I still have my moments with IT, but now I accept that I married a soldier, not an accountant.

So if you've fallen in love with a soldier and you're joining the Army family, just know that he does have one heck of an Uncle you'll have to deal with, but on the flip side, there are also a lot of sisters that will help you along the way.

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Mmmmman in Uniform

Oh you guys have GOT to check out this article on CinCHouse.

Written by Allison Perkins, it's an article about how we as wives feel about our men in uniform and it is hilarious!

http://www.cinchouse.com/Relationships/index.htm

Here are a few teasers from the article...

Many women say, bring them a man painted head to toe in green, black and brown, and they will purr with happiness.

That simple, brown shirt seems to be one of the uniform’s biggest turn-ons.

Some women say their partners balk at the notion that the clothes they work in all day are sexy. But drape that drab green or brown all over yourself, and you may suddenly have a very happy husband.

So go read, and I'd love to hear your comments!!!

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Life Behind the Tie-Dye Curtain

It's my first day as an official LASLTL blogger (okay, the Army loves acronyms so I'm just going to use my own!), and I want to introduce myself. Right now, we are "living the life" at college since my husband is earning his degree. It's a strange existence - being a military family in a town where there is a weekly protest outside the local grocery store and tie-dye is still in fashion. We have 2 boys (1 1/2 and 5). My oldest heads off to Kindergarten this year, and my youngest is a very busy boy (to put it mildly). I teach fitness classes as a part-time gig, and spend a lot of time pursuing my writing goals. We've lived at Fort Lewis, where I wrote for two small newspapers, at Fort Benning, where I taught aerobics on-post, and at Fort Drum, where I just tried to keep my sanity through 2 deployments, a new baby and the snow. I'm looking forward to sharing my life with you and learning more about all the great wives who love their soldiers while figuring out how to live an awesome life.

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When it rains, it pours.

Something has been working on my mind for a while now.
I guess since Memorial Day, when we had our show on platitudes during the time of bereavement. We talked about what to say, what not to say, what not to do or do with Deborah Tainsh and Mary Ellen Gizzie. It was a particularly difficult show as Tara was the first to admit. I know a few women who tuned out because it brought their fears closer than they needed. I completely
understand, but we've got to talk.

Now. The time to talk about how we're going to handle being the supported and the supporter -if IT happens- is now, not when IT happens. If it's not talked about now, you end up with the mob mentality like what happened at "Denise's" in the most recent episode of Army Wives. Everyone, meaning well for sure, showed up to her house when it was announced her husband was aboard a downed helicopter. They brought food and congregated, meaning well like I said.

But let me show you something, and I have to warn you that my husband tells me that I'm horrible with analogies, about poorly executed well-meant manners.

Picture a storm that's raining buckets. You're in a car. I'm picturing that you're in a cab as the rider. Your stop is ahead, and you certainly don't want to brave the elements. Never fear, you don't have to. You're being expected, so maybe someone is waiting to assist you and has an umbrella. In effect, you expect your friends are prepared. They think they are too. At least two are there waiting with umbrellas vying for your side as you emerge from the cab. You are thankful, but as you move forward, you realize...you're getting rain right in your face. The umbrellas are funneling the hard rain where they meet, right down the middle, right over your head. And you get drenched.

I wish I could draw the picture, but hopefully you can see, there are two principles at work here. 1) You are very frustrated because the expectation that you'd be seen about was not met. 2) Too many well-meaning people actually made the situation worse. There was one too many umbrella holders. That is my illustration of how things can go wrong if the concept of bereavement care is left out of FRG discussion and action planning. If done wrong, you end up with hurt feelings, irreparable damage to the surviving spouse whose expectations are not met, a mob, and too much food.

I'm usually the one who has resource this and resource that. But today I'm going to close by saying, I broach this subject because I care about you. I think it's not brought up enough, maybe I'm wrong, but especially in deploying and deployed unit FRGs. Everyone should have a role, a purpose, and everyone should have a venue at least once to voice their expectations.

Mine was to be able to reach one of three friends at all times. We would take turns being "on" and I remember several times calling somewhere just to tell my friend the route of my bike ride or walk and calling upon my return. So, what are your expectations? Are you satifisfied they'll be met when it rains? What can this body of online soldier loving friends do for you, and how can we help you be there to help your "Denise"?

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Hope....

Last week on the Lifetime blog they asked us to write an article for this week on "Hope". I don't know if any of you are following the blog over there but I thought you would REALLY enjoy this post. :)

Check it out http://armyposts.lifetimetv.com/

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I know that this proves just how flighty I am and it highlights my inability to complete a task (i.e my BOOK), but:
Last night I had an idea for a series of children's books. They're aimed at girls, I'm not sure of the age range they'd be for b/c I haven't put anything down on paper yet. BUT I think it could be something awesome!
I don't have anything more interesting or educational than that to tell everyone, but I'm really excited about the idea. I talked it over with a couple of friends at the FRC, and they agreed that it was a good idea (I went more in depth on what the books would be about with them, lol) and then we started talking about how it would be a good idea to start a writer's support group here on Fort Stewart. I think that THAT is a fantastic idea! So I'm excited that when that gets going, I'll have been in from the ground up!

Hope you're all having a fantastic day!

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Are You Prepared?

Last night on the show we were joined by Bill Chandler of USAA. He gave us some GREAT advice on preparing for disasters. I URGE YOU to listen and to have a pen and paper handy to start your "to do" lists. I know I personally have alot of work to do to get ready.

Here are his suggested sites and resources he mentioned:
Inventory
http://www.iii.org/
http://www.knowyourstuff.org/

Safety
http://www.ibhs.org/

List Making - Preparing yourself
http://www.ibhs.org/
http://www.usaaedfoundation.org/

And here are some I came across that should be helpful:
http://www.redcross.org/news/ds/0305hurricane/
http://www.hhs.gov/news/facts/hurricane.html
http://www.ready.gov/america/beinformed/hurricanes.html

I hope you all take this seriously ...keep me posted on how you're doing. I have got quite a list started!

Thanks Bill - and Thanks USAA!

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Reinvent the MRE?

I am not sure how many of you are watching but I love the FOOD NETWORK! I have been watching "The Next Food Network Star" and this week on the show not only do they get to visit with Paula Deen (one of my favs!) but they have a task to "reinvent the MRE". I thought you guys would enjoy it. It was hilarious the way they looked at what our soldiers eat every day. :) You should see some of the things they came up with though with just the MRE itself and prepackaged items that they could add/use.

To catch up on the episodes or even to see the episode from last night log on to their website at http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/show_nf_vote/text/0,,FOOD_20356_62445,00.html

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HELP WANTED: Show Ideas & Thoughts

I'd run this like a classified but you'd all laugh and hide!

I need your help. I want to make AWTR all that YOU want it to be. We do have wonderful resources and information but what do YOU want to hear about?

Give us your ideas, none are too big or too small. Do you want a show on the commissary and AAFES? What about care package ideas? Are you looking for more things like party etiquette, how to read an LES, or is it something more complicated? Tell us what you want to know more about.

Do you have an author or a speaker, or someone you've always wanted to hear from? We're not scared to go ask. Tell us who you want us to go after and we'll do our best to see if we can book them.

AWTR is OUR LIFE, OUR FAMILY, OUR SOLDIER. Please take this opportunity to tell us what you'd like to hear. Please click on COMMENTS and let us know or email tara@armywifetalkradio.com.

Thanks!!

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Tell them how you really feel

We are often asked by listeners/readers how they
can provide feedback to the Army regarding their
programs. AFAP (Army Family Action Plans) and meetings
centered on that purpose happen on post periodically.
But, they're not always convenient for time or location.

Today, I saw where there was a survey regarding "Family Programs, Child
& Youth Services" at www.ArmyFamiliesOnline.org. It's 12 questions with
some room to go into detail for specific recommendations. The estimated
time to complete it is 5 minutes. So, here's your chance...go about 1/3 of the way down, on the right, under "Announcements."

I also found something of interest for you newer family members that
don't feel they have enough experience to comment on such a survey. It was a 36 page .pdf document that has a great overview/introduction of all things army/army post related. Called "Welcome to the Army Family: A First Guide for Army Spouses and Family Members" File -- Updated 2006-07-18, you can go to www.ArmyFamiliesOnline.org and search "Welcome to the Army Family."

I hope you find both of these suggestions helpful. It never ceases to amaze me
what information is out there--although buried--free and for the taking.

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Is Your Kiss Worthy?

Submit a photo of your 'Best Military Homecoming Kiss or Hug' for a chance to be featured in Kmart's Heroes at Home Fund-raising Campaign, a $1000 Kmart gift card and a Kodak digital camera prize package!

The contest runs from 17 June to 7 July. The Top 100 photos will be selected from an independent judging agency and posted for public voting from 7/23/07 through 8/12/07. Visit here when the voting opens and vote by placing a Hershey Kiss icon next to your favorite photo. The winning photo will be announced on August 20, 2007!

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Do YOU believe in girls?

WOW what a neat website I came across today! www.WeBelieveInGirls.com

A quote from their website reads "We believe, in fact, that the magic of a happy, playful, inspired girlhood is the same secret ingredient that creates happy, inspired and powerful women.... We also believe that the pressure on girls to grow up fast, to dress up "fast," to cut the midriff shorter, pout the lips out further, pierce everything earlier — that all this mad, headlong rush toward early sophistication* may have gone a bit too far.We believe that it is our responsibility, as the grownups, to share what is right."

I began to look through because I have Wrena (6) and Chloe (on her way) and thought about what it was going to be like when they were older. Would they be powerful women who could change the world? What could I do about that now as their mom? This site is so neat. I really think you guys will like it.

They say "We believe that girls are one of the most precious resources on the face of planet Earth and that this resource should be treasured, honored, nurtured and protected." I think I can totally agree with that. When I relate that to Army wives I think about how powerful we can be as a community of women. We should be treasured, honored, nurtured, and protected.

Go visit the site and offer your feedback. I think you guys will really be impressed. WAY TO GO BARBIE!!!

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July

Well the new date for our quarters is in July. I understand that there is always a waiting list for housing, but we have been operating with the information that our quarters would be ready in May. So instead of renting a month to month apartment or just plain renting a house, we have been waiting. Well, can I just say that this has been the week from H E double hockey sticks. When we got the info that we were now bumped until July my parents asked us to leave. The very next morning at o500 I was sitting in the ER with our middle child, who is now on antibiotics for a double ear infection, poor thing. So the next day, we packed up and drove to our new duty station. So we are in a hotel for the duration. I think I am getting my sense of humor back.

Ugh

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Household 6

Well, here is where most of the time we get ourselves into trouble. We all assume that everyone knows the little nuances and acronyms of military life. So here is my issue, I thought you all knew what "Household 6" was....come to find out very few do. So I bet you wondered why silly ole' me had that on my flag that I carry on AWTR's logo and why I was selling tshirts that said Household 6? Here is a definition for you -- and each one of you is DEFINITELY Household 6!!

From the Urban Dictionary: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=household+6

A military man's stay-at-home wife. Sometimes keeps up with the arduous tasks of shining boots, picking up laundry, and shopping, but mostly just a strain on meager Department of Defense budgets, and the military husband. The name is derived from where said wife spends most of her time, and the number 6 is the designation for a commander of a Company/Troop, Battalion/Squadron, Brigade/Regiment, Division or Corps.

Used in a sentence - "I really wanted to go to your going-away party, but household 6 pulled my dispatch."

---------------
Note: Cracking up laughing here as I read this post to Star and realize that the above says we "sometimes" keep up with the task of .... and that it says we are mostly just a strain on their budgets! That is hilarious!!! Oh My Goodness...funny, funny, funny. Well anyway what I wanted you to know (should have read the darn thing before I posted it) was why someone was called Household 6 and where it came from. "6" coming from designation for a commander of a Company/Troop, Battalion/Squadron, Brigade/Regiment, Division or Corps and of course you are in charge of the household.

While we are talking and I am laughing, Star is reading through all of the nice NICE definitions that urban dictionary has to offer. We are just dying...we can't print them, but you should go look.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha.....

Then again -- maybe we're just dorks!

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Quick Info

I was reading the blogs today on the site, and I always read the comments too :) So I read a comment from a wife saying that she was having trouble finding ways to get involved at her new duty station. I thought I'd just pop in, and say, really quickly, lol, that the absolute best way to find volunteer opportunities is to go to your local ACS or FRC at your current station. They've always got things you can do and they're great for meeting new people too!

Also, you can search for available volunteer positions at your post by going to www.myarmylifetoo.com and right there on the first page it says "Find Army Volunteer Positions Online". Click there and search away!

I hope that helps! :) I'm watching a friend's daughter, and I hear her, meaning she's awake, lol, so I'm off! Have a great day!

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Military Friends

Star posted in her last post ...totally worth it about our visit with Holly Scherer this past week who was passing through Richmond Hill, GA and stopped in to have dinner with us. We had a great time. Her children are adorable and we had such a great motivating and much needed "girl time" dinner.

I thought I'd share....

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Finding Balance

Why does life seem so darn hard to find and keep balanced? I enjoy doing many things and volunteering in many places, but when I take on that one too many tasking, WHAM-I feel myself sinking into a grouchy, whining, sometimes bitter stranger! When this happens, I know I am out of balance. I find myself looking for ways to slow down and most important saying "NO" to things I'm not passionate about. Little by little my life returns to a functioning, productive and fulfilling place. My biggest challenge is keeping it that way.

I know many of us who seem over tasked need to take our own best advise and learn to "take care of ourselves". It seems we often put everyone/everything else first and we never have time for us. I've decided it's time to take control of my time, say "NO" to some things and try to slow down even though the world around me is going 100 miles an hour. Life is so rewarding when it's balanced and the only one's who can make that happen is you and me!

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Letting it Go

The other night, I was pretty grumpy. I was snapping at my husband and stomping around the house. I then started on this long angry diatribe about the Army and long deployments and being away from my family, etc., etc., etc. Jake just looked at me and said, "Is this helping?" I could have slapped him (That was the mood I was in). But instead, I took a few deep breaths and actually realized what my problem was (is) - fear. So I then told him that I am just scared of the upcoming months - being alone, being worried about him, etc., etc., etc. And then I explained that I have been trying to be strong - for me that means to not cry. So he said, "Well Honey, just cry." It was an immediate response - so many, many, many tears. Sobs really- intermitent with huge breaths so that I didn't pass out. Jake just held me and told me everything was going to be okay. And that's why I am an Army wife - for him. I chose HIM and that's why I am doing this. But after having a big ol' cry, I actually feel a lot better. I guess crying doesn't equate weakness.

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...totally worth it!

Getting on my knees to scrub the kitchen floor and baseboards...
a back-breaking chore.

Changing bedsheets on all the beds--though I just did it this weekend--
a major PITA.

Grocery shopping for everything on payday...
totally insane.

Completely clearing our calendars for 6 days on short notice...
normally I'd say no.

But doing all this to prepare for an unexpected visit from military friends
and their family we haven't seen in years...
Totally worth it!

What we wouldn't do for our chosen family. Am I right?

Last night Tara and I converged on Applebee's to meet our friend Holly (militaryspousehelp.com) and her kids. My daughter and I had to spend an hour in the car each way, through a lightning and thunder storm. But we wouldn't have cancelled for anything.

Holly told us about Kathie who spent 5 weeks touring her and her husband's old European haunts...being put up and entertained by their military friends and colleagues.

One time a friend from OBC (Officer Basic Course) "passing by" 53 miles E of here drove out of her way for dinner, a potty break, and a long overdue hug. She stayed late, but thought nothing of it. When she got into her car to back-track 53 miles, she said we should do it again sometime.

Yes, let's! This is the good stuff our lives are made of.

Conversely, when my brother flew into Disney World/Orlando with his girlfriend I never met, he never even called. Yes, it's 4 hours away, it would have been short notice, and they probably wanted some time alone. But, if that had been a military friend we'd met on TDY at Fort Lewis or Fort Somewhere Else, they'd have called just to say, "We're in the area. Would you be interested...?"

Of course, and clearing our calendar, spending our short-term savings on gas and Disney tickets, and braving the 4 hours with 4 in the car would have been totally worth it.

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Get "out of" my belly!

You know that movie, I think it's a Mike Meyers movie, where the big giant thing says "GET IN MY BELLY"? Well, here it's opposite day. GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT! Everyone thinks I'm nuts. "It will be so much better in than out. They're so much more work outside than in." Ok, fine. Given. However, I will do a rendition of the popular Chili's commercial -- I WANT MY BODY BACK, BODY BACK, BODY BACK, I WANT MY BODY BACK, BODY BACK. Geez, I am turning into a weird one aren't I?

Ok girls, give me some reassurance. Tell me that it's ok to sleep until 11am, and stay up until 2am because I have heartburn so bad at night I can't lay down and when I finally do I am up peeing every hour on the hour. Doesn't everyone do their best work at 1am in the morning? Tell me it's ok that I'm crying all the time for no apparent reason. That I can be nice to my husband in one sentence and scream at him in the next. What about the fact it takes me two days to clean a three bedroom house? Help me with the notion my daughter (Wrena) is out to make me insane and committ me to the third floor of WINN Army Community Hospital! OUT I TELL YOU, OUT!

At least out, I will be myself. I'll get my body back. I'll get my energy back. I might even get to sleep. Oh, and focus. Yes, focus would be nice. (See I can't take my ADD meds while pregnant, well I choose not to, so I am about as focused as my dog Bob - wait til' you meet him) Sure, it will be more work, but I'll get to see her face. I'll no longer be having bad dreams of labor & delivery gone bad. (Who the HELL made up that "baby story" show on Lifetime anyway? What are they THINKING? - WHY DO I WATCH IT? Talk about scaring me to DEATH!) I don't mind having tons to do - I work better that way. I just mind not having the energy to even breathe. Ha ha ha ha!

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To Visit is Nice, To Exit is DIVINE!

I love my family, please don't get me wrong, but OH MY GARSH! My house has been full of family for the last 2 weeks. Things have been SUPER busy recently with them being here. It was like Richard got home from NTC, then Ethan got out of school, and then block leave started. And boy oh boy when block leave started it was ON!

We started doing a complete overhaul of cleaning to our house so that our family wouldn't see how we really live, lol. I'm not much for cleaning.....shhh! Don't tell.

Then my cousin and his family came down from Fort Campbell. He and his wife are expecting their 7th child (they're a blended family, but this baby is their 2nd together). They were minus 2 of their kids, but they had 4 with them (5 if you included the little one in the tummy, lol). So add those kids to my 2 and you can imagine the noise level in my house. And you can imagine the stress level in ME, lol.

They left on a Saturday, and then on Sunday...my dad, his wife, her grandson and granddaughter, and my niece came in. So again, lol, more kids added to my 2. They actually behaved pretty well, and we actually got out and did stuff.

We went to the beach, DisneyWorld, and on an Old Savannah Tour. It was really a lot LOT of fun! I got a great picture of my baby girl Baylee with Cinderella (cutest thing I've ever seen other than the picture of my Ethan showing off his muscles with Buzz Lightyear!).

Anyway.....it's been busy, lol.

And I'd like to say, that if you listened to Army Wife Talk Radio on Monday, June 11, then I apologize for my volume. I'm still not sure why my voice was coming across so loudly. I'm workin on finding out why, lol, so that won't happen again.

The point of this blog though, is that it's great when someone visits, lol, but as bad as it sounds (forgive me), it's even better when they leave.

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No Change

I had a comical post planned about the perils of pcsing. I pictured myself writing this from our new quarters, surrounded by boxes, rolling my eyes at all of the work that I needed to be doing. Instead, I am sitting at the library posting, because my parent's have the slowest computer on the planet, still using dial-up.
I do not have a clue when we will be moving into our quarters. The packers came to our old quarters on the 23 of April. It would be a gross understatement if I said that I am sick and tired of suitcases. They stopped giving us potential move in dates. The news for this week is, sometime this week maybe.
So the comical post will just have to wait, I am not feeling particularly humorous. The longer this lasts, the more material I collect. In fact I will give you a little tease of the upcoming post.
Just last night I discovered that you should not place a pregnancy test on a finished surface like a night table while you are waiting for the results, it will make the finish squishy. I am not pregnant, but we are demolishing my parent's house. They did not baby-proof before we arrived. It is totally insane.

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So Sorry

I SO apologize for not blogging regularly. Since the kids got out of school, I have been babysitting non-stop and still working on the weekends for our property. In our spare time, we have also been puppy-sitting for residents in our property. All the while, trying to make sure that Bryttne has everything she needs for Idol Camp (she's been packing and unpacking for the last 2 months) and preparing for...DADDY COMING HOME! He will actually be here this week, but I haven't told the kids. They "think" they've been preparing for Grandma. Then...since I'm pulling off one surprise, how about another? Grandma is his Mom, so she doesn't know he's getting home a day earlier than expected, the day before her, so he'll be able to go with us to pick her up at the airport! Am I good or what? So, again, I apologize for not blogging more often, I hope to be up and running again in about 2 weeks. Thanks ladies!

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Once Upon A Time......

Tomorrow is Sunday. What does that mean to me? It means church, relaxing with my family, and reading the Sunday paper. I love the Sunday paper. I love the coupons, the funnies, the local news, the world news. I love the editorials. I love it ALL! One of my favorite sections is the marriage announcements. I read each one and pay special attention to the happy couple's ages and where they went to school---was it the same one? Most importantly I look to see what they do--you know...."The bride is employed by the Scott County School system where she teaches kindergarten. The groom is policeman for the town of Brownsville." I love this stuff. My mind starts to wonder about how they met. Did he come to the school for career day or to give a presentation to the students? Did he stop to help her with a flat tire? Was it a blind date arranged by her Grandma? Does this sound nuts? Some might say I have too much time on my hands---actually I don't. Some might say (like my husband)--who cares? I have been reading the weddings section since I was a teenager. I was a hopeless romantic. Apparently, I still am.
I think women are hard-wired to like "how we met" stories. They either remind us of our own love story or give us hope when we feel like we'll never find our true love. I would like to hear your story. Does anyone want to share? OK....I'll go first.
I was living in California. I had moved out there with my late husband to find our dream, which was to have our very own animal hospital. We accomplished that goal. We had 2 sons along the way. Everything was good....perfect. Then we found out he had stomach cancer. Where did that come from? Mr. Eat Healthy, Never Smokes or Drinks, Works Out Almost Every Day---how did cancer take hold in his body? But it did....he died 2 months later. Quick....very quick..barely enough time to say good-bye. Before he died he made me promise that I would remarry one day. He wanted me to find love again--a good man to love me and show our boys how to be men. Remarry? Impossible....I would never love again. I could only imagine this pain ..this loss inside for the rest of my life. I told him no I wouldn't. He told me not to be stubborn--and when God sent me love again to not be close-minded. After he passed away, life was hard. People always ask how you make it through---I don't know.... you just do. You cry a lot and pray a lot. It helped that I had 2 little boys (ages 2 & 4) to raise and a pet hospital to run. Over time, you do begin to heal. Our life became stable again...we even began to thrive again. We were actually becoming....OK.
(Now here is where my Soldier love story comes in). I had even began to think that maybe one day I would fall in love again...way down the road. Maybe when the boys were teenagers... My daily routine then entailed going to work at 7am and closing up around 7pm. I was lucky to be in a situation where my boys could stay with me. They were literally raised in an animal hospital.... Some nights we had sleep-overs there if we had a critical patient. We had friends. We had found a good church. I was enjoying my life again. Some nights I could not sleep, though, and I would go on-line. I especially enjoyed a political chat room I found. The people there were intelligent and insightful. We enjoyed discussing and debating issues. That is where I met him. My Soldier. Over time chats turned to phone calls....and phone calls turned to....love.
Yes, that's right. Miss Conservative, Practicality, and Head on Her Shoulders had fallen in love with a man she'd never met. Then 9/11 happened. My Soldier was sent away. I vowed I would wait for him. I sent letters and packages. Then the call---my Soldier was coming home!! Only briefly....but at least we could talk as much as we wanted. I lay in bed that night after hearing the news. Suddenly, I heard a voice--whether it was in my head or not I do not know. The voice said "Go to this man."
Wow...umm OK. I know I am falling in love with him---but I'm scared---I don't know if I am ready... Besides how will I get a plane ticket for tomorrow? What about my kids?
I called the airlines. I found a ticket for the next morning--no problem---and at a great price... (what was going on here?) I called my friend Debbie so she could talk me out of it. She said he was all I ever talked about ---I needed to go find out if he was meant for me. She'd watch my boys. OK--but he was already in route from Kuwait...he didn't know I was coming. So I left a message on his answering machine. "When you get this I will be arriving in Killeen. Oh boy...I hope you get this. I am flying into Killeen. I will be waiting at the airport. If you want to finally meet this woman who is falling in love you---but is possibly slightly nuts...and more than a little nervous and scared--please be there. I'll be the one who looks like me. I will wait for 2 hours...if you are not there....umm I guess I'll stay at a hotel and fly home the next morning. You know my cell number... " That was it. Then I hopped on the plane. I prayed all the way from LAX to Killeen, TX. My heart was beating so fast as our plane touched down. Some soldiers stationed at Fort Hood were on the flight. They asked if I was meeting someone. I told them yes. Inside I was thinking---I hope so.
Now if you have ever seen the old airport in Killen, it was small. It reminded me of the old sit-com 'Wings'. You exit the plane on the tarmac and walk across to the airport terminal. I made my way to the door. I remember it was really windy and my dress and hair were flying all around. I must have looked like the wind just blew me in. I was getting my hair under control, when I looked up into the bluest pair of eyes I had ever seen. He smiled. I smiled. And you know---I didn't feel like I was meeting him for the first time. I felt like I had finally found someone that I loved and had been searching for--it was relief. "Ahh.. yes, here you are." He kissed me---and I let him. I wanted him to. I remember a couple of older ladies sitting by. I heard one say "Oh look, he's her soldier." We walked out of the old Killeen Airport. Me and my Soldier. And I have been walking by him every since. Now he is away again in Iraq. But he did leave me something to remind me of him---a little boy with the bluest eyes you've ever seen.
So now it's your turn...I want to hear your stories. You can post them as a comment, e-mail me, or carry them over to the discussion board. Let's celebrate the love we have for our soldiers.

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A Brief Exchange........A Deep Connection

Today my sons and I went to the airport. My oldest was flying out to visit with family for a month. As we parked in the airport parking lot, we all noticed a soldier and his family. My sons were captivated.
"Look a soldier!!" ----my 8 year old.
"He looks like Dad!!" --- my 10 year old
"Daddy!!"----my 2 year old
"I bet he is on leave."---my 16 year old
Now we are stationed at Ft. Stewart. We see soldiers in and around post almost daily. Still, though it is never "old hat" to my boys. Whenever we are out, they always notice soldiers and seem to gravitate towards them. Not surprisingly, I have noticed this even more since my husband has been in Iraq. Truthfully, I notice more too. Just like today, I noticed the soldier placing his bags in the back of their POV. My attention, though, was drawn to his wife. As he was busy loading up his bags , she was standing by the truck looking up at the sky. ( I know this trick--it keeps the tears from falling.) I walked over and asked her if he was on leave.
She said yes and started to cry and laugh at the same time. I told her my husband's R&R is next month. We hugged. I wiped her tears. I wished both of them a wonderful time together. Then they went their way and we went ours.
My son asked if I knew her or if she was a friend of mine. I told him that although I had never met her before--I knew her. She was now not only a friend of mine--but a sister. In our brief exchange we had shared joy, relief, and hope. That is what is so wonderful about being with someone who is walking in your shoes---you understand each other. You "get it". It reminded me of what we have here at AWTR and it made me proud to be a part of this blog.
Some of us have husbands deployed. Some husbands are stateside or even retired. Some of you are the Moms of soldiers. The common thread among each and every one of us here is that we love our soldier. That love for our soldier defines us. That is why we move (a lot). It is also why we pray, hope, cry, wait, and stand tall. I may be a lot of things--but above all I am a soldier's
wife. I am his soft place to land when he needs to rest from his realities. I am his love, his strength, his reason--just as he is mine. I know that you all understand me. (Did you catch that "you all" ? I am trying to fit in here down south. :-) )
And I get it. I get you. We get each other. Although all of us are or will be going down some rough roads, the ride is a little less scary when you have friends.

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DVDs 4 Soldiers

A seven year old in Wisconsin is collecting new and used Dvds for wounded soldiers in Iraq and those recovering in VA hospitals around the country. Katherine Toebes started a campaign she is calling DVDs 4 Soldiers. She is trying to collect 50,000 dvds.

Send new and used dvds to:

Katherine Toebes
P.O. Box 3585
Janesville, WI 53547-3585

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Resilience Personified

Behold the USS New York.
This picture just hit my email. It may be a bit old, but I was thinking about resiliency after the past two AWTR shows with Deborah Tainsh. And, this picture of this ship is just a great analogy, I thought.

Had the terrorists known how resilient the US was, that we'd convert the torrent of twisted metal previously the Twin Towers into a powerful ship--a fleet of ships--to deliver justice to their door, would they? Well, the question is neither here nor there. The answer is they did, and we have recovered.

"It was built with 24 tons of scrap steel from the World Trade Center .
It is the fifth in a new class of warship - designed for missions that include special operations against terrorists. It will carry a crew of 360 sailors and 700 combat-ready Marines to be delivered ashore by helicopters and assault craft. Steel from the World Trade Center was melted down in a foundry in Amite, LA to cast the ship's bow section. When it was poured into the molds on Sept. 9, 2003, 'those big rough steelworkers treated it with total reverence,' recalled Navy Capt. Kevin Wensing, who was there. "It was a spiritual moment for everybody there." Junior Chavers, foundry operations manager, said that when the trade center steel first arrived, he touched it with his hand and the "hair on my neck stood up." "It had a big meaning to it for all of us," he said. "They knocked us down. They can't keep us down. We're going to be back."

The ship's motto? "Never Forget"

More to come...USS Arlington (Pentagon location) and USS Somerset (PN county were the third plane crashed).

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Fallen Heroes Ride Across America

I would like to encourage you to check the website for Fallen Heroes Ride Across America at www.bike4vets.org. Ed Acevedo is crossing the country by bicycle to raise money and awareness for our disabled veterans and wounded heroes. He started in St. Augustine, FL and is now in AZ. I tell you---I can't imagine how hot it must be...bicycling through Arizona in June? I'm whining about the heat and humidity here in GA. The worst part is I can't whine to my husband 'cause he can always one up me.... How can you beat "Yeah ,it was 123 degrees today." ?
Anyway......Ed's site is pretty neat. He is keeping a journal of his trip which ends in San Diego, CA--probably pretty soon. I like reading about his journey. It sounds like a fascinating trip. Best of all, it is for a good cause.

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Lifetime Blog up and running....

All,
The blog on Lifetime is up and running with a few posts....you might want to visit.
http://armyposts.lifetimetv.com/

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Footsteps at the Door

I read this poem. It beautifully depicts the myriad of emotions that go along with being an Army Wife.

Another sleepless night for me
Alone upon our bed
I see again his every move
And those last words he said.

So proud he looked in uniform
Convinced that he was right
He had to go, for duty called
There was a war to fight.

Those last few days before he left
I hid the pain inside
We talked and loved and even joked
He never knew I cried.

And when the dreaded moment came
He kissed me tenderly
His eyes met mine, and then he said,
"I'll be all right, you'll see."

I tried to smile and nod my head
Afraid to let him see
The terror that I feared if he
Did not come back to me.

His precious children hugged his neck
He told them to be good
And help their mommy out at home
And mind her like they should

They were too young to realize
That Dad would not be there
To tuck them in their beds at night
Or listen to their prayers.

I see him as he walked away
I tried to say "good-bye"
But words were trapped within my throat
All I could do was cry.

The weeks have stretched now into months
And every night I pray
That God will keep him in His care
And bring him home one day.

I do not moan beneath the load
Of all that I must do
My children will see strength in me
Until this war is through.

At last I drift off into sleep
In dreams I see him more
I turn around and smile to hear
His footsteps at the door.

Restless I sleep, and then I wake
Not opening my eyes
I move my hand to reach for him
But no one near me lies.

I will not give in to despair
With each new day I'll cope
For I know he would want me to
Be brave and live with hope.

I hear the voices loud and strong
Who criticize the war
While yelling men are fools to go
They stay on freedom's shore.

A man who cowers under fear
Will die a thousand deaths
While men like mine for freedom fight
And offer their last breaths.

I hope perhaps in fifty years
When men remember war
They won't forget the wives who dreamed
Of footsteps at the door.

By:Gwen C. Rollings

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June, month of Farewells

As Military Spouses one of the hardest demands is saying “farewell” to the special friends we make during a tour of duty. I’ve spent times at duty stations when friends were far and few, but now that I’ve been blessed with the best friend ever, it’s eating me alive to face the fact; we have to say “farewell” this June. It seems my friend and I have not only shared the good times, but it feels like we’ve been thru hell and back (more than once) during our tour together. Our bond has only grown deeper and stronger with each challenge we overcame. June being full of Change of Commands, Change of Responsibilities and farewells among all the ranks, I ask myself, how could I better prepare for this sad farewell? The only thing I know is to make the most and best memories while we have the time together. Never take our time with special friends for granted and enjoy the moment (both good and bad). All things seem better by having a special friend to go thru them with. Cherish it!

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"Roxy" Coming on AWTR - Monday June 11, 2007

Our listeners have called her the "most real" character of the Army Wives series on Lifetime!

Join AWTR in a LIVE discussion with Sally Pressman (the actress who plays "Roxy").

Monday June 11, 2007
8pm EST
http://www.ArmyWifeTalkRadio.com
http://www.BlogTalkRadio.com/AWTR

Have your questions ready! Yahoo IM: ArmyWifeTalkRadio or call in 646-915-8736

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Weigh in on Army Wives....

Ok I'm curious. So...did you watch last night?
What did you think?

I honestly thought it started off kinda slow & cheesy, but then again what season premiere doesn't? It's also kinda sped up REALLY fast after it was so slow and cheesy....and all of the sudden....so if you didn't stay tuned past the first 10 or 15 min you probably missed the best parts.

I loved the kids reciting the acronyms! I also think that Roxy is probably the most realistic character. Given, it's not true to EVERY Army wives life because well -- there are only five characters....but I thought it wasn't half bad! I'm tuning in next week -- and I think I'm a pretty tough critic.

What did you think?

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New Neighbors

This past weekend I took a road trip from Augusta, GA to Fort Campbell, KY to sign up for on-post housing. Thanks to advice I received from AWTR, I decided to live on base and wanted to make sure we wouldn't have to wait too long to move in once we got there. The trip was a success. They even gave me the actual unit number we are going to live in. I went and looked at it and saw that my soon to be neighbors were sitting on their front porch. I went and said hi and asked them a couple of questions. The thing that blew me away was how INCREDIBLY nice they were. They talked about how neighbors in the Army are family, and that I should call them whenever I needed anything. It was pretty amazing to have such a great introduction to the place I'll be calling home for the next few years. And while I feel really blessed to have everything going so smoothly, I have to say that during the entire trip, I really wanted to throw up. I keep getting these reality checks - or reality smacks about what my life is and what it is going to be. I feel like I keep writing about the same thing with the overall theme of "Is this for real?" I'm kind of wondering when I'm going to actually stop being surprised at being in the Army.

My tip that I learned on this trip is a packet of stuff that you always need whenever you are going to be on post to do something that has to do with the Army:

-drivers license
-car registration
-car proof of insurance
-military id (if you've got one yet)
-birth certificate (if you don't have a military id)
-social security card (if you don't have a military id)
-birth certificates for your children
-marriage certificate
-power of attorney (you need special ones for different things, so make sure you call ahead)
-The login and password to your husbands Mypay
-A copy of your husbands (spouses) orders

I'm basically going to carry around a lock box where ever I go! :) If anyone else knows anything else I need, please let me know - I'm learning too!

P.S. Thanks to Jenny and her husband who will be my new neighbors in August for being so nice.

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What Little Boys Are Made Of..................

As you know, my family and I are stationed at Fort Stewart, GA. Which, luckily, puts us squarely in the path of Tropical Storm Barry. I say luckily because we have been facing major drought conditions and wildfires. In fact, a wildfire came alarmingly close to our home just a few days ago. Out of all my various life experiences (even our house fire a few years back), nothing had prepared me for a wildfire coming my way.
There have been fires flaring up in our area and we have smelled the acrid smoke of burning forests. We had always been a “comfortable” distance away.
A few days ago, my son came inside and told me I should see the smoke cloud behind the house. Now you have to understand with 5 boys the words---come see/smoke/our house-- --are words that you hope to never hear. Once outside I saw what all the fuss was about. A huge smoke cloud was directly behind our house---but still off in the distance. Still feeling safe---I told the boys to “keep an eye on it”. That was more for their benefit to add to their rising sense of adventure and bravado. As I turned to go back inside, I heard them assure me “Don’t worry Mom. We’ll protect you and our home.” Little did I know that they would honor that pledge before the day was through.
I had just gotten my 2-year-old down for his nap, when the doorbell rang. I was informed that the wildfire was burning in our direction and we needed to water down our roof, the plants and mulch around the house, and our wood line. As I faced my sons, the first thing I saw was fear. Well, yeah….I was scared too! Looking behind our house, you could see the source of the smoke was closer. The air around our house was entirely permeated with the smoke by now. OK, now here is where everything my husband and I have taught our boys kicked in.
Without a word, we all went in to put on our shoes. Then everyone was outside hooking up water hoses. We have a big family--and the house we keep our big family in has a lot of roof to cover. We worked as a team. I divided the house and yard into areas and my sons each went off to douse and protect their area. By the time we were satisfied that our home was sufficiently drenched, charred bits of debris began raining down in our yard. My sons rescued our 3 dogs and 2 cats and we all dashed inside. Although we had not been told to evacuate, we were told it might become necessary. We packed overnight bags. The boys included their very favorite things in their bags. I gathered all those important papers you don’t want to lose--luckily, I am fairly organized and that didn’t take long. The question then was what do we do now. We prayed for the fire to not hurt anyone or harm any homes. We prayed for the firemen to be safe. We prayed for rain. Then we waited. While waiting, I gathered things I didn’t want to lose that I could take at moments notice. Funny thing is, when it comes down to it the things I didn’t want to lose the most were things I could take at a moments notice.
My “pile” included: pictures of my boys and pictures of my Mom and Dad both of whom I lost 6 years ago. I grabbed my jewelry box-the one I keep my everyday jewelry in. I wear the pieces that mean something to me---they may not appraise for anything but they are my memories. Earrings from my Mother-In-Law. She didn’t have much--but she had given them to me before she passed away. Earrings from my husband during our dating and lean times. A clay-dough necklace from my Ben. And other such pieces. Later I thought about the one piece of jewelry that I own that is the most valuable (monetarily)--later is the key word--It never crossed my mind while I was gathering my treasures. I also grabbed: my great-grandma’s quilt….my husband’s jacket (it still smells like him). Lipstick….what can I say? :-) The Bible I’ve had since I was 16. And that was it. Oh, I have many things I love---I have toted them all over the country. Just ask our movers…. :-) Yet, when it came down to it, I could fit it all in one POV. It was just a reminder to me about what is really important.
As you may have guessed---we did not have to evacuate. Our home is fine. We are fine.
I am so proud of the way my guys stood up to the plate. They were determined and brave. I wish my husband could have seen them. They are so much like him…..when the call comes you step up. You do what has to be done………because it has to be done. I see the type of young men we are raising. I want so much for them to be men of integrity like their Daddy. Yet as I write this, it just now hit me how I will feel if some day one of my boys tells me “Don’t worry Mom. I’ll protect you and our home.”--as he sets out for a foreign land. I am sure there will be many different emotions ranging from admiration to fear. I know too that my husband would say--”That is what I am doing now. Trying to keep my sons from having to come over here.” I kind of got that before. For some reason, today I get that loud and clear.
I really don’t know what else to say---except that at this very moment I am overwhelmed with love, pride and gratitude for my husband. I am so proud of our sons. These 6 guys...these 6 are the loves of my life. How blessed am I.

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Lifetime TV’s “Army Wives” to Host Benefit for Army Wives of Operation Homefront & CinCHouse.com

SANTA ANA, CA -- After putting in long hours on the set of "Army Wives," Catherine Bell, Kim Delaney and the rest of the cast took a break from filming to meet nearly two dozen military families involved with Operation Homefront for an all-day picnic and event, where Lifetime created and distributed care packages for the families' deployed loved ones. Lifetime invites the public to tune in June 3 to watch video from the event, "Wives on the Homefront," featuring footage, biographies of the military families and interviews with the "Army Wives" cast.

Created by “Grey’s Anatomy” executive producer Mark Gordon, “Army Wives” is based on the real-world account of CinCHouse.com contributor Tanya Biank as told in her book Under the Sabers: The Unwritten Code of Army Wives (St. Martin’s Press 2006). In it, Biank follows the stories of four Army wives, poignantly painting the stark contrast between the pain and pride of serving as a family in the military.

“Scores of military wives on CinCHouse.com will collectively break out the popcorn and commandeer the remote control for the debut of ‘Army Wives’ on Sunday, June 3,” said Regina Galvin, editor of CinCHouse.com, Operation Homefront’s online community of military wives.

Galvin led Operation Homefront’s twenty selected Army wives and their children from Fort Bragg, N.C. and Fort Leavenworth, Kan., during the day-long event with the cast and crew of “Army Wives” in Charleston, South Carolina. As the Lifetime’s video “Wives on the Homefront” will show, activities ranged from family fun to serious discussions about the worst case scenarios for Army families.

“As both a representative of Operation Homefront and an Army wife, I was deeply honored not only by the invitation but the genuine interest in our life experiences by Lifetime’s cast and crew,” said Galvin. “Additionally, I’m grateful to Lifetime TV for helping us get the word out about our Wounded Warrior Wives program through the “Wives on the Homefront” film.

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I wanted you all to see this so that we set our DVR's (TIVO) for the Army Wives show but also for hte Wives on the Homefront special. :) I really cannot wait to see how this all plays out. It's got my curiousity very peaked!

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SCAM ALERT: Please be careful!

American Forces Press Service

WASHINGTON, May 31, 2007 - The American Red Cross is warning military
spouses about a new identity-theft scam that targets family members of
deployed troops.

The Red Cross was alerted of the scam earlier this month, said Devorah
Goldburg of the Red Cross.

The scam involves a person with an American accent calling a military
spouse, identifying herself as a representative of the Red Cross, and
telling the spouse that her husband was hurt in Iraq and was medically
evacuated to Germany. The caller then says that doctors can't start
treatment until paperwork is completed, and that to start the paperwork
they need the spouse to verify her husband's social security number and
date of birth.

It is hard to determine how many spouses have been targeted by this
scam, Goldburg said, as there are many ways for spouses to report
problems like this. However, one confirmed report was enough for the Red
Cross to act, she said.

"We know that it happened to one person; it was probably going to happen
to others, and we wanted to be prudent and alert people," she said.

American Red Cross representatives typically do not contact military
members or dependents directly and almost always go through a commander
or first sergeant, according to a Red Cross news release. Military
family members are urged not to give out any personal information over
the phone if contacted by unknown individuals, including confirmation
that their spouse is deployed.

In addition, Red Cross representatives contact military members or
dependents directly only in response to an emergency message initiated
by a family member, the news release said. The Red Cross does not report
any type of casualty information to family members; the Defense
Department will contact families directly about family members'
injuries.

It is a federal crime, punishable by up to five years in prison, for a
person to fraudulently pretend to be a member of, or an agent for, the
American Red Cross for the purpose of soliciting, collecting, or
receiving money or material, according to the news release. Any military
family member that receives such a call is urged to report it to their
local family readiness group or military personnel flight.

[Web Version: http://www.defenselink.mil/news/newsarticle.aspx?id=46232]

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