Finding a new "normal"?

Wrena and Chloe 08/2007 - www.pattycakephotography.com

Well hello out there. Yes, I'm back, finally. It looks like you guys have been very very busy over here at the blog. I tried to check in randomly in the last two weeks but life has lent itself to being fairly busy around here.

In my last two weeks I have gone through enough to post twenty something blog posts - that's lots of good material! LOL But, I guess I should start from the beginning. Most everyone has asked the same question - how did it go? I went in on Thursday morning around 8am. I was able to have my sister and my best friend Tina with me. We checked in and got things started. I have to say that the Army has definitely changed the labor and delivery process since Wrena was born - for the better! We did labor, delivery, and recovery all in the same room. My mama and Wrena along with an entire parade of friends came in and out all day long as I labored. Everyone says I made it look simple, but I beg to differ on the simplicity part. It wasn't simple. I will admit I had a "can do" attitude about it but then again what sort of choice did I have? Kevin was able to call about every hour or so to check in on me. Toward the end he was calling every thirty minutes. I labored on into the night and everyone gave up on me but my mama. She stayed and everyone headed back to the house for some sleep around 11pm, and once I received my epidural. I told them they should stay but they didn't believe me that we'd be quick because they thought she'd already be there by then. Between 11pm and 2:02am when Chloe was born I dreamt about food three times, watched Food Network, talked to Kevin three times, and probably ate three containers of ice chips! LMAO! The delivery itself was actually very easy. It only took five pushes and she was here. By that point though I was tired, and I was ready for her to be there. Kevin didn't miss the moment, at least not completely. He was on the speakerphone talking to me and encouraging me when I said I thought I felt the urge to push. Mama called the nurse in and I quickly put him on speaker phone turned off that stupid TV and said "let's do this". Twelve minutes later we had a beautiful baby girl. Kevin got to coach from the speaker. It wasn't the greatest but it worked. It was a hard moment for all of us but special all the same. He got to hear her first cry, how much she weighed and how long she was. Then we let him go after he told me "you did it baby, you did it." That was special....and still hard for me to even think about because he is still not home to see her. Maybe I'll share more of that at a later time.

After we got everything settled we finally got a bit of rest which was much needed. Oh, and I got to eat. Thank God! I remember holding her thinking I loved her so much and was so excited but could someone come take her and let me see her in the morning. ha ha ha! She slept in the room with us until the morning which was only a few hours later. Eventually they moved us to the Mother/Baby unit and after 36 hours we were able to be discharged. They were able to let us go early enough that we got to attend the Video Teleconference (VTC) the Battalion had and Kevin got to see his new baby for the first time. Of course, being that everyone and their brother was there it was hard for it to be "real" for him and I was so tired I don't remember much of it. I was glad he had the opportunity though.

My family stayed here with me until last Wednesday. On Wednesday I finally had a moment to get my house back in order, quit entertaining, and sit down and get a schedule together. I think I might have a sickness -- OCD or something -- because once the house was clean, I found order, and Wren was back on a schedule my life seemed to take some sort of calmness back. This is a new normal. There are people doing this all over the place. People delivering babies while their husbands are deployed. People being single moms for months on end while their husbands are away. That does offer me some sort of comfort but it doesn't make my life any different. It doesn't make me be able to understand or figure out how my husband can be distant or be able to say things like "this all seems like a movie." It's all an experience, a learning process...and I am strong. I am Army wife. I can do this. I want you all to know that challenge is part of this life and this is a challenge I am not stepping down from. Bring it on....I know I can do it. I know our family can make it. I know it will make us stronger and I know we can grow from it. At the same time, I also know I am not super human.

So...here is cheers to my new normal and to a new step in our lives full of good blogging and show material -- it's Army Wife Talk Radio right? And this is definitely the epitome of an Army wive's life!

By the way...my "new normal" includes coming back to "work" and I am SO GLAD that this is my job!!! What a blessing!